Luhan ran as fast as his legs could take him.

He ran, hoping to be faster than the speed of light. He ran as if trying to rush to his unreachable future. He ran; anything to get him away from here. He was so lost, so fragile, so disoriented. Most of all, he was strayed; strayed from his priorities in life, heading towards a different route which he knew someday later, he would be anything but unregretful. He thought he had been right, brave even, as he headed down that formidable road for the second time, because the faint glimmer of hope he could see, deep down in his path.

But as soon as he delved down deeper into that road, he realized how stupid he had been. He was blinded by that insignificant trail that he had lost his mind in the midst of it. After a lot of contemplation, he made the choice. The choice to turn back, to run away from the pain that keeps biting through his constricted heart; the pain that seemed like it wasn't there, but in truth, it had always been in him, now of which was spreading into a mix of fury and mental abuse.

He ran, never turning back, even when that someone was calling his name.

"Luhan!" a faint voice he heard. "Stop! Luhan!"

It was all in his head, he reassured himself. The voice in his head kept on calling to him, but Luhan, stubborn as he was, blocked it with all the strength he could muster from his sorrows. He knew it was impossible. Impossible for the voice to stop if he didn't stop himself, but what was he to do? He wouldn't.. No, he couldn't stop. If he did, he knew very well that that road will somehow swallow him up, never again letting him go, keeping him captive in its confines. And that was why, he quickened his pace. Desperation pulls at the strings of his heart, tears clouded his line of sight, but he couldn't just simply stop. Not when he already made it this far.

"Luhan!" The voice was getting closer. No, he couldn't let it play tricks on his mind. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, shocked at how damp it was when he recoiled it back.

"No," he yelled back, voice strained. "Leave me alone."

"Luhan!"

Go away, he whispered. Go away from my mind. Stop distracting it with your voice. Stop..

He had seen it coming. The ledge had not been transparent, it was there the whole while, and yes, he noticed it. By the time he was near the ledge, there was no stopping him. It was for the best, another voice, his voice, replaced the one that was once inside his head. I could end myself from this suffering and this is how I'm going to do it.

He felt his body go light as he flung himself over the ledge, resorting to close his eyes as he free falls into a deep abyss.

"Luhan! No!"

The voice is too near now, but not even that could stop him. Nothing. Only if gravity were to reverse its position, then maybe…

Finally, the road would no longer have me on a dead end, Luhan smiled. He let his arms wander up, fingers combing the gust of wind, before finally, his whole world turned jet black.

♦

He woke up to bright lights blinding his vision. As if on instinct, he covered his eyes with his arm, groaning at the displeasure the lights were giving him. He quickly sat up from his position, the abruptness jolting his half-sleepy state into an awakening. Slowly, he opened his eyes, relieved that the lights weren't bright as before. Where am I? What happened?

Only after a few seconds of processing did Luhan realized that he was on a bed. He trailed his fingers on the covers, feeling the seams of it on his skin. Soft, he mused. He ruffled his hair and proceeded to get up from the mattress.

"Leaving bed so soon?" a voice suddenly taunted him. Luhan almost jumped forty feet in the air if it wasn't for the heavy covers weighing him down.

Slowly, he turned his head towards his left, and was shocked to find an obvious lump beneath the coverlets. How could he not notice this earlier?

"Um, hello?" He started.

"Good morning." The muffled voice rang back in Luhan's ears, followed by a yawn. Somehow, the voice struck Luhan with a slight familiarization, but he wasn't so sure. To be honest, the situation was already freaking him out and the sudden voice made his thoughts even more jumbled than ever. It wasn’t a one-night stand, right?

An abrupt eagerness hit him when the person didn’t want to move. "Well, aren't you gonna wake up.. or something?"

"I was never asleep to begin with, Luhan. I've been awake from the very first time you arrived here."

He let the words of the stranger sink in. He didn't know which one was creepier. The fact that this stranger seemingly knew his name without him even introducing himself, or the fact that this stranger might've stayed up all night watching him sleep. He shivered at the thought.

But something, just something about this man, made Luhan's curiousity swell. Who was he? And why did Luhan had the feeling like he had known this person from somewhere before?

"Who are you?" He blurted out before he could stop himself. By truth, it was the right question to ask, wasn't it?

He could see the covers on top of the man move slightly. "Well, why don't you see for yourself?" And Luhan could have sworn he heard the slight tease in the man's voice.

Gulping, he leaned his body towards the layers of cotton the male blanketed himself with. His hand grabbed a hold of the coverlets over the man's head. He contemplated whether to do it quickly or slowly, and it wasn't till he heard the man grunt below him did he make his choice. Quickly it is, he sighed.

Inhaling, he tightened his grip on the smooth cotton under his hands. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest and his stomach has a knot tied to it. He didn't even know why. Wasting no time, he quickly tugged the covers down, and soon afterwards he fell on his back; lips dry, mouth wide open and eyes almost bulging out of its sockets.

He couldn't believe it. What is this? The man smiled as he got up from his lying stance, and looked at Luhan with a cherubic smile which was spread across his face.

"We meet again, Luhan."

Luhan was too dazed to say anything. When he finally got back his voice, he didn't expect it to sound so fragile. "M-Minseok?" he stuttered.

The smaller boy nodded and kept on smiling.

"B-but, you're supposed to be.."

Then it all clicked.

"Is this.."

"Yes." Minseok answered him before he even got to finish the question.

"A-Am I.."

"Yup!" He answered back, a bit too cheerful, earning a confused stare from Luhan. Realizing this, Minseok went beet red. "N-No, I don't mean it like that.. I'm just.. Yeah." He looked bashfully at Luhan, awaiting his response.

Minseok inched closer towards Luhan when none was given. The man was still taking in his surroundings; white bed, white walls, white door, all of it was white. Even the shirt he somehow had put on was white.

"Hey," a soft voice jolted him out of his reverie. "Look, I know it's hard for you but-"

"No, it's okay," Luhan reassured. "I just needed some time, you know, for all.. this."

It was true. He still couldn't believe it. Yesterday he was waking up in his run-down apartment, and today he was, well, he was somewhere further than there. He wouldn't say it was a dream came true, practically because he was dead and dreams don't come to dead people, don't they?

He felt the mattress shift and quickly jerked his head, watching Minseok heading out towards the door. The boy was also dressed in cream white, shirt so low it exposed his sharp collarbones. The only thing differentiating him from Luhan was the small wings behind his back. Wait, wings?

"Wait!" he called out, and the brunette abruptly spun around, stopping in his tracks.

"Yes, Luhan?"

Luhan's throat went dry. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't seen Minseok for three years ever since that day, and honestly, he missed him to bits.

"I've missed you, Kim Minseok."

Minseok looked at him questioningly, before his features softened. "I've missed you too, Luhan. But hey, look on the bright side; we would see more of each other now!" He smiled.

Luhan got up from the bed trudged slowly till he was in front of the brunette, and on the spur of the moment, Luhan enveloped him with his arms, pulling him into a deep, crashing hug.

"I've missed you a lot, Minseok. You had no idea how many sleepless nights I've experienced because of you. You're always on my mind, Minseok, and I have never really gotten over you, although you told me to move on in that letter of yours." He blinked back tears. "But now, when I finally get the chance to see you every day, I feel so-"

He didn't get to finish as his sobs drowned his ability to speak coherently, but Minseok's smile didn't falter. He dragged his arms across Luhan's back and rubbed circles onto that very sensitive spot which he had memorized after all those years of knowing him.

"Shh, it's okay." He tilted Luhan's chin with two fingers and stood on tiptoes, gently pressing a chaste kiss on the man's lips. "I've missed you too, Luhan. I get so lonely here without you, and now that I have you here," He beamed. "I won't get lonely anymore."

Luhan nodded. "I love you, Minseok, before and ever since. I still love you now, and I will continue to love you forever. I promise this with all my heart." With that, he connected his lips with Minseok's again, molding them together like how they did before an early death took Minseok away from him. "I love you too, Luhan." Minseok whispered into the deep kiss, and Luhan found his body getting warmer with each touch to the lips. He smiled.

After a period of despair, the hole in his heart was mending itself at last.

♦

Yifan trailed his fingers on Yixing's cheek, savouring in the feeling of it against the soft skin of his fingertips. The dark-haired boy finally fell asleep after what seems like an eternity. Slowly, Yifan pulled him tighter into his embrace, afraid that the boy would get colder if he loosened up the grip he had on him. He smiled as Yixing's dimple made its appearance when the boy stretched his lips into a firm line.

He couldn't stop himself.

Yixing's luscious lips suddenly made Yifan lean closer, almost kissing it, before he retracted away. No, he couldn't do this. Not now when Yixing was in his most vulnerable state.

He sat up straight; all the vivid memory of the previous day came rushing into his thoughts.

'This was all because of you!’ Yixing had said, tears streaming down his eyes as he chucked a book straight at Yifan. 'If it wasn't for your stupid existence, Luhan would've never seen us. He would've never run away from me and he would've never jumped over the ledge. If it wasn't for you, he'd still be-'

At this, Yixing dropped to the ground, bangs overshadowing his teary eyes, loud sobs emitting from his dried up mouth. His nails scrapped at the cold tiled floor as he tried to muffle his cries, which only worsened with each passing second.

Yifan was silent the whole time, capturing every insult and accusation thrown at him by the enraged male. He deserved it, he knew that. But yet, a part of him still hurts when Yixing told him to get lost. He wanted Yixing so badly ever since he laid eyes on him, and then when Luhan came into the picture, he was utterly devastated. He knew he had to let go of Yixing one day or another, and he did just that. Unfortunately, the feelings he tried to deny, the feelings he had for Yixing, wouldn't disappear as easy as he thought it would. It wrecked him, inside and out.

All this time, Yifan wanted Yixing to be happy, to find love and live a joyous life. When Yixing finally found someone whom he had thought was his soulmate, Yifan was shocked to find himself not bearing the happiness of seeing Yixing being happy. The answer to that only came to him after two long weeks: Yixing was in love, but the one that Yixing loved wasn't him. It hurted him to even realize that. Then after, he tried every single way for Yixing to notice him, even buying him a necklace; because he was sure, he was even better than that doe-eyed lad. Before long, he found himself mindlessly grabbing any opportunities that were thrown at him in order to get closer to the raven-haired boy.

That was why when Yixing had called him the other night, crying to Yifan about the huge fight that he had with Luhan, Yifan didn't waste any time and rushed to Yixing's place, coaxing the younger, telling him that it would be alright. One thing led to another and before he knew it, Luhan had walked in on them, while he was still fully seated in Yixing..

Yifan remembered walking slowly towards Yixing, who was still crouching on the floor, crying his heart out. He tried to console him, but Yixing's hands were already on his shoulders, pushing him away. It was obvious that Yixing didn't want to speak to him. But he kept on trying. It was worth a shot, he thought, but then Yixing was already out of the room, slamming the door to a much disarrayed Yifan.

He got his prayers answered that night, when Yixing called him after the hundreds of voicemails he sent him. Needless to say, he ended up in the hospital that night, staring at the empty corridors, with Yixing, heavy on his shoulders.

"Zhang Yixing." A doctor called out, and Yifan could pick on the look of the doctor's face that whatever he was gonna say, wasn't good news.

"Yixing," he whispered as he nudged the sleeping male. "Yixing, the doctor is calling."

Yixing slowly got up, rubbing his eyes which were now swollen. He stared at Yifan. "Where is he?"

"Zhang Yixing," the doctor called out again. "Zhang Yixing."

Yixing got up from the chair and stumbled towards the doctor, with Yifan in tow. "I'm here, doc."

The doctor took one look at them and pulled his glasses off the bridge of his nose. “Mr Zhang, we have tried our very best to save your friend and-"

"He didn't make it, did he?"

The doctor looked at the ground and shook his head. "I'm sorry for your loss, Mr Zhang."

It was lucky that Yifan was there to hold Yixing, or else he would have collapsed on the floor, not being able to get up again.

"We would need you to sign some papers for us, and inform this to his parents-"

"His parents are no longer here." It was Yifan who spoke up. "They both got into an accident when Luhan was still a kid."

The doctor nodded his head in understanding. He then tucked his hands in his surgery coat pocket and produced a small lavender coloured book, with flowers decorating its cover, and a lock securing the book from the outside.

"That's his diary." Yixing croaked. "It's Luhan diary."

"We found it in his pocket. It's still a bit wet, but I think you should have it."

With shaky hands, Yixing reached out and took the book from the doctor's hands. A single tear fall from his eye as he ghosted his hands on the book. "Thanks, doctor."

The doctor smiled.

"Hey, um, doctor?" Yixing asked slowly, his voice barely a whisper. "Can we ask you for a favour?"

♦

They read his diary, flipping through every page there was. The dozen pages or so in front were about his feelings - Luhan's feelings, and how he was regretful that he couldn't have been more of a greater boyfriend towards Yixing. He apologized so dearly in his diary, to Yixing and to everybody, saying that he still has Minseok in his heart, and that he couldn't let go, even if he wanted to. He loved him too much, he had written, and that no one was able to replace him. The honesty in his writings only made Yixing feel like slapping himself even more.

That night was the most that Yixing had cried. He sat there, curled up in the warm embrace of Yifan as he continued flipping through the lavender scented book, tears threatening to fall each passing second.

The next pages and so on were doodles depicting Luhan's life. Most of it was addresed to the same guy - Kim Minseok, and Yixing would be lying if he said that he didn't feel a pang of jealousy in his heart.

Due to the favour that the doctor had granted them, Yixing, together with Yifan got to see Luhan's body before he was to be cremated. Later, they walked out of the morgue, linking hands together. Yixing was glad. He was glad that Luhan finally found peace, probably somewhere that Yixing doesn't know of.

How did he know this?

Right before the coroner pushed the body of Luhan into the hard metal box, Yixing managed to sneak a glimpse at Luhan's facial expression.

Because right there, plastered on Luhan's pale face, was a warm, contented smile. 

Author's Note:

Well, it's finished :) I think I ended it in a creepy way though.. oh well /shrugs/

I hope this story was understandable because it's just rambles and babbles and all that jazz. Never really took my writings too seriously (kkaebsong~)

Anyways, it is very much appreciated if you guys tell me your opinions on this in the comments below (I don't think anybody would read this ^^) but still, do comment, or if you want to, then upvote(?), or subscribe? Hahaha

THANKS A LOT FOR READING! LOVE YOU ALL XOXO