Meanwhile in the hospital nearby, Junmyeon was having a hard time dealing with his fiancé, Miyoung. He thought by taking overtime, he could escape and ignore how distressing his current life was especially after Yixing being uncharacteristically nosy last night. And honestly, his source of comfort nowadays was the hospital – the pungent smell, sick and dying people, the rush. To Junmyeon, work was the only part of his life right then that has the least bit semblance of normalcy.

           And he thought Miyoung would understand. But apparently not, as his personal life has been the talk of the hospital recently. Obviously the whole hospital knew that he has a Chinese person living under his roof and they made it seem like what Junmyeon was doing illegal. He swore that he just heard someone said that Yixing was a homeless person and since Junmyeon was a kind soul, he willingly took the other in. Junmyeon snorted – yes, he was kind but not to that extent.

           But technically, Yixing was homeless and innocent. And Miyoung just won’t shut up about him.

            They were inside the storage room where they stored the regular prescriptions. If only the patients knew what they had been doing in here, Junmyeon sure they would be mentally scarred and possibly suing them both.

            But that wasn’t the agenda. It was understandable that Miyoung would technically get pissed off seeing that she was his fiancée and she deserved to know everything like the fact that his bachelor pad was not an option for them to have anymore. And the idea of Yixing being there while he and his fiancée were getting it on didn’t sit well with Junmyeon.

            “So when is he leaving?” Miyoung fumed, both her arms crossed in front of her chest. Clearly she didn’t take the situation very well. Her usual eye smile diminished to a menacing glare. “I’m not going to live with a stranger, Junmyeon! And he’s 23 for goodness sake. He’s capable of taking care himself!” she looked hysterical with her arms flailing around them.

            Junmyeon winced cowardly. “Look!” his voice was gentle but firm. “I didn't do this on purpose okay. It's my brother's last wish. What do you expect me to do?” he shot back.

            “Find him a place then! He doesn’t need to live with you,” Miyoung's fiery gaze got locked with Junmyeon's confused ones. Seeing the obvious answer in Junmyeon’s eyes, she gasped dramatically, “Oh no! You’re not serious are you?”

            Junmyeon found out he didn't have an answer to that. “I-I don't know okay! And I can’t do that!” his eyes averted somewhere else; not daring to submit into Miyoung's searching ones. “Why are you pressuring me like this?! You supposed to understand and support me!” Junmyeon cursed in his head, hearing his voice sounding so shaky.

            It seems the situation was getting out of Junmyeon’s hands and he wasn’t sure how to control it. He couldn’t just throw Yixing out and let him live in the streets. The thought of his brother, Heechul, and his damn conscience just wouldn’t allow him to. What if the guy gets conned? Yixing has that face that got easily tricked and believed what bull people said. Just the other day Yixing had asked him do pigs really can fly. And Junmyeon immediately said no but Yixing was persistent. The latter kept asking so why do people say pigs can fly. It drove Junmyeon insane.

But aside from that, the Chinese man hasn’t done anything wrong for him to receive such treatment. After all this while, Yixing was being a great housemate with excellent cooking and cleaning skills. He even took the initiative of greeting Junmyeon home without fail every single time. And Junmyeon still didn’t get used to that but silently appreciated it everytime.

            Junmyeon sighed greatly with hands on his hips. His eyes stared up at the light bulb illuminating the small room, flickering slightly. Zhang Yixing, what should I do with you?

+

            Yixing just got back from the market. He was putting his shoes to their rightful place when he heard a male voice, singing in such a beautiful voice, coming from Junmyeon's bedroom. Yixing didn’t recognize the song and couldn’t understand most of the lyrics but somehow, Yixing wanted to listen more.

            A man has emerged from Junmyeon’s room wearing an apron, a pink bandana on his head and something that looks like Junmyeon’s SpongeBob boxers in one hand. Yixing inspected the other’s face and concluded that the latter couldn’t be any younger than himself.

            The male let out a gasp as he just realized Yixing’s presence but immediately smiled and stretched out his hand towards Yixing, introducing himself as, “Byun Baekhyun, housekeeper! You almost gave me a heart attack for a moment there.” With that smile, Yixing couldn’t help the image of a puppy that has suddenly been conjured up by his mind. And Yixing wondered why beautiful people like Baekhyun were doing in this line of work when the other can obviously be a singer with that lovely voice.

Yixing took his hand and was surprised to find the other’s hand was so beautiful and soft. He gave Baekhyun a dimpled smile, “I'm Zhang Yixing. Pleasure to meet you.”

            Letting go of the hand, Baekhyun began to ramble. “I bet Junmyeon has already mentioned about me to you.” Yixing just nodded his head, not trusting his Hangul capabilities. “I was hoping to at least get a glimpse of you before I'm done and wow he wasn't joking when he told me that you’re Chinese,” eyeing up and down at Yixing's figure and momentarily shaking his head, looking at the former’s choice of clothes; a baggy t-shirt, three-quarter pants and those hideous slippers. “What the heck are you wearing?”

            Yixing let out a hearty laughter at Baekhyun’s blunt comment, finding the other hilarious. Well, Baekhyun was a rare character and it's the first time he encountered a person as blunt as him, assuming his limited circle of friends. He smiled to Baekhyun's confused look (probably wondering on why the hell he laughed in the first place), “No, I'm fine.” He left the room, to the kitchen, with Baekhyun hot on his heels.

            “Let me handle that for you,” packing the groceries to their rightful place. He paused when he saw a tin of baking powder and chocolate bar lying innocently in front of the stove. “Are you planning on baking something?”

            “Baking? What’s that?,” Yixing’s eyes busy reading the recipe book, too much unrecognizable characters which in return making his head spin. Internally, he wondered if Baekhyun would mind explaining them for him, and perhaps, also teaching him.

            Baekhyun frowned. “Making cake? Do you know making cake?” Yixing’s eyes lit up at the familiar word and nodded and resumed glaring at the recipe book. “You do know that he never comes home for breakfast, lunch and even dinner right?” Baekhyun savored the moment to observe Yixing's expression. But the latter’s look was torn between adorably confused and exasperated.

            Yixing turned to look at him, “I know.”

Just then, Baekhyun caught the tinge of sadness in those brown orbs but it disappeared the second it appeared and turned to determination. He was speechless. Byun Baekhyun was never caught with his mouth closed even when he's dead.

            “I know,” Yixing repeated, seeing that Baekhyun didn’t seem satisfied with his earlier reply. “But that's no reason for me to stop b-baking,” his hands began to shake, eyes downcast and the last word stuttered at the unfamiliarity on his tongue. “Cause this is the only way I could say sorry to him.” He felt that heavy feeling inside his chest, again.  Yixing heaved out a breath and focus his attention on the recipe book.

            But they both know very well that his mind was not on the book.

            If Baekhyun ever sympathized on Yixing’s dilemma, then his expression didn't show it. “He's crazy if he doesn't fall in love with someone like you,” Baekhyun stopped. “Any men is labeled crazy if he dares to turn down a person who could satisfy his very treasure,” Baekhyun made a motion to pat his stomach before continuing, “His stomach!” Yixing laughed though he didn’t understand half of them but Baekhyun was funny. The housekeeper was a really good mood-lifter and one of the nicest Yixing has ever met.

            His laughter ceased but the smile still lingered on his lips. But soon was replaced with a frown. “What do you mean by him lov--”

            “What I meant was that you are SO into him, darling!” Baekhyun pointed his finger towards Yixing, just for the effect. “And don't you dare to deny it.”

            “W-w-WHAT?!” the recipe book fell to the ground, lying helplessly. His pretty face flushed in embarrassment. “I don't get what you're talking about,” eyes averting from Baekhyun's knowing gaze.

            “Oh come on! There's nothing to feel shy about. And don’t give me that crap of ‘I don’t know what sarang means’ because everybody knows what sarang means!” laughing at Yixing's flustered look. He was so cute and innocent, Baekhyun thought. He wondered where Junmyeon found him. “Even I have to admit that Junmyeon is so mighty fine. He is overall a charming gentleman. If I weren’t in a relationship,” he paused, and then leered, “or desperate even, I would have him on my knees!”

            Yixing was defeated by Baekhyun's constant persistence. “Alright! Yes! I do love him,” arms thrown upwards in frustration. “But he has Hwang Miyoung-shi,” he confessed and turned to look at him. “I am no-one.”

  Jongdae turned around to see Junmyeon walking towards him, a smile plastered on his face. “What's up?” Jongdae asked.

            They both know each other since university since they were roomed together. At first, they didn’t get along really well as Jongdae flaunted his uality so freely while Junmyeon was still experiencing the brunt of the fight with his brother then. But he didn’t dislike Jongdae as he was more uncomfortable. Somehow, Junmyeon didn’t place that much resentment towards Jongdae for being a homoual which made Junmyeon came up with a conclusion that he wasn’t that homophobic.

            Maybe it was the abruptness of it all when Heechul suddenly made that dreadful announcement. Maybe because Heechul supposed to be perfect brother, his role model and not, not being perfect. And maybe Heechul and Jongdae were two different people, have different impacts in Junmyeon’s life and therefore, the resentment just off-scaled.

            “Do you know a place that sells nice jewelry?”

            Jongdae didn’t expect that. “What's the occasion?” Junmyeon never asked this sort of question before. Secretly, Jongdae thought that Junmyeon didn’t trust his judgment in these kinds of things.

            Junmyeon sighed. “It’s for Miyoung.”

            Jongdae smirked because he knew the meaning behind that sigh. A sigh could mean a lot of things but this sigh, Jongdae knew it very well. He seen people and like to watch them even. And people have been coming in and out of his life so many times, enough for him to know before someone got tired of him. And it was obvious, Junmyeon was getting exhausted in trying to make the engagement between him and Miyoung work.  “Yeah, I know a place,” Jongdae draped his left arm over Junmyeon's shoulder. “So still with Miyoung, I see,” Jongdae tried to sound discreet.

            “What are you trying to imply?” Junmyeon narrowed his eyes. He knew most of the people there have a secret crush on Miyoung but Jongdae was definitely not one of them. He was sure but Junmyeon couldn’t help suspecting the other. You would never know.

            “Well, one would think you guys are over by now considering the rumors and gossips I’ve been hearing around the hospital recently. And let’s not forget that the closet walls are thin. We can literally hear her screaming.”

            So, Jongdae wanted to gossip but wait! Junmyeon blushed, feeling embarrassed for being the subject of others talk. God knows what else these people have heard.

            “You should try dating someone new, hyung. You’ll be surprised on how many people didn’t make you want to pull your hair out all the time,” Jongdae snickered. Seeing Junmyeon’s unimpressed reaction, he proceeded to tease some more. “Or you can join our gay club if you want. You are sincerely welcome there. You even have quite a number of fans as we speak!”

  “No thanks. I stick to girls, thank you.” Although there is a certain Chinese man came to mind but he quickly shook it off.

             Jongdae smirked evilly. Well, it won’t be for long if what he heard from the other day that Junmyeon was living with cute Chinese guy was true. Miyoung couldn’t shut up about how frustratingly good looking and innocent the guy was especially with his dimple. “Okay self-proclaimed-straight-guy, whatever floats your boat. Now, shall we go?”

             Junmyeon didn’t like the look on Kim Jongdae’s face. He was sure the other was thinking of something that was surely associated with him and will end with Kim Junmyeon’s world domination and Junmyeon dared not ask. He rather thought that he was safe, for the time being. “Lead the way,” and resigned to his fate.

            They were at the quaint jewelry shop a couple blocks away from the hospital and still wearing their scrubs since they’re only on a break. The place looked more like a hole in a wall but nonetheless has the elegant touch with white glossy walls, dim lights and mahogany floorboards. And Junmyeon was more than happy that they were the only customers then. He never liked crowded places.

            Junmyeon were surveying the place, noting in appreciation before Jongdae nudged him on the ribs, “I know you would like this place,” he teased. “Thank God I found it a few months back while I was walking around looking for a gift for Minseok’s birthday. And I promise you the price is less than what you expect!”

            Junmyeon just rolled his eyes and turned to look at the woman; he could still hear Jongdae's snickers in the background. “I'm looking for a necklace,” he smiled. The woman faltered a bit due to that dazzling smile, but she regained her composure in a second, truly a professional.

            “Y-yes we do have those. Any specific ones, sir?”

            “I’m not really sure. Do you have any recommendations?” Junmyeon looked around exasperatedly. A nervous smile painted on his lips.

  “Of course we do, sir. If you don’t mind me asking, who is it for, sir?” the woman tried to ask as politely as possible.

  “Oh. Um… It’s for my fiancé.”

            The woman seemed to be disappointed for a second. “Very well. Right this way sir,” she led them to a glass display, holding a peculiar necklace. It looked brilliant with those black stones covering the whole white-gold-plated, heart-shaped pendant. The lights in the case perfectly highlighted the beauty of each of the black stones. It's perfectly suited for a princess.

            “How much does it cost?” eyes still on the necklace. His mind filled with imaginations of how Miyoung would look exceptionally gorgeous wearing it especially with the white sundress that he had bought for her last month. He smiled at that thought. Junmyeon noted to self to tell Miyoung about it next time, when they’re in a speaking terms again.

            “That would be four grand, sir,” he gasped dramatically, complete with his hand on his chest, felt his eyes bulged out from the sockets and his jaw dropped to the ground. That dirty filth, Kim Jongdae! He promised him that the price would be less than what he had expected! This was more than what he had expected! ‘Speak of the bastard,’ Junmyeon groaned inwardly as he heard Jongdae chortling in the background. He turned around to glare.

            Jongdae couldn’t help but found Junmyeon resembling a stand-o-fish moments earlier was hilarious. Next time, Jongdae reminded to himself, he’ll surely take a picture.

  “That’s strange. She left early. She said she has an important appointment that she has to go to. I thought that appointment was you,” Yoona frowned.

             Junmyeon laughed nervously. “Well, I’m still here so I’m not. But thanks anyways. See you around.” He waved her off then, begrudgingly trudging his feet to the locker room. He has not changed yet, afraid that he would missed her if he took a second too long. And he could only sigh.

             It was obvious she was avoiding him like a plague, seeing that she left early for an ‘appointment’, knowing that her coworkers would misunderstood that she has a date with him that night. Or she could be cheating on him just to spite him.

            He was getting infuriated. The whole time, he was carrying the darn necklace and it was staring at him as if scrutinizing his pitiful self. Somehow, he began to agree on himself being pathetic.

            He needed to give the necklace by that night. He has to. The idea of him getting into a fight with his fiancé because of a Zhang Yixing has pricked something unknown that was living inside of him. He knew Yixing didn’t deserve all of this. The Chinese man was just being strung along into this mess, following Junmyeon’s every whim. And until now, Junmyeon isn’t sure what part he played in this mess made by a dead man.

            Before he left for the night, already in his casual clothes, he laid the necklace in Miyoung's drawer, hoping she would find it easy enough and conveyed his apology through a blue post-it note.  'I'm sorry. Please just give me another chance.' He took a second glance on his note, knowing that those words said too little and left. He was too tired to approach his inner poet at that moment and figured that the cost of the necklace should be sufficient.

            And worse was also the day Junmyeon realized Zhang Yixing held significance in his perfect life. Junmyeon came home late in that fall September night or was it early morning. Junmyeon found the apartment was in an unusual state of silence, something he used to think would be welcoming. He was so used to seeing Yixing’s smile first thing when he opened the door that he never thought it would mean something to him until then.

            And he definitely didn’t expect that feeling that crawled up his whole being, like an army of insects annoyingly creep his skin inch by inch and smacked him right on his face in a whoosh. Kim Junmyeon was frightened.

            It was no surprise for Yixing to get tired of him. For these past couple of months, Junmyeon was nothing but tactless, callous and emotionless. And the excuses he made up in his mind for his actions were unjustifiable. The memories of unreciprocated dimpled smiles, cold food, one-sided conversations, waiting up and welcoming home were suddenly became too much.

            He practically ran to Yixing's room which is just a room away from his. The final huge dread settled in when the room was empty, clean and spotless. No sign of a living thing inhabiting the room except for the lack of dust.

            'No, no, no, no!' He refused to believe that Yixing left just like that – no note and no goodbye. Eventhough Junmyeon knew that he was being a douchebag all along; he thought he deserved a note with ‘Goodbye!’ in it, at least. Se he did not need to worry himself out. He instantly regretted taking in Yixing if he knew the Chinese man would turn his world upside down like this.

            With the rush of excessive emotions, unconsciously, Junmyeon grabbed something within his reached and flung it against the opposite wall. And there, lying on the ground was a small wooden picture frame, broken into pieces.

            Junmyeon was still panting from frustration at himself when he suddenly recalled that the room was absent of a picture frame before. Upon closer inspection, it was a photo of Yixing with Heechul. 'It's Yixing's. So that means,' Junmyeon glanced at the wooden closet so fast that his neck might just have twisted itself. With shaky hands, he opened the closet door. Its handle felt cold in his burning palms.

   Junmyeon felt a gush of relief when he saw all Yixing’s clothes were still there, organized neatly and color-coded.

            “He stayed,” Junmyeon deadpanned. His tired figure slumped to the ground; lanky legs spread all over the floor and realized belatedly that he still hadn't taken his shoes off. He grasped a fistful of his hair and crouched. 'What the hell am I doing?' he mourned pitifully. He glanced sideways at the broken picture frame and made move to pick the broken pieces carefully. His fingers caressed the photo, noting that Yixing looked younger and adorable with that frown on his face while his brother was beaming beatifically.

            “I’m sorry.” Junmyeon was not sure who the words were for.

            He looked up from the picture and then saw his reflection on the antique mirror directly across him. For a second, he couldn’t recognize who was the man in the mirror. The expression on his face was foreign – his eyes held countless emotions that he couldn’t differentiate one from the other, there were frown lines adorning his forehead, his lips were trembling, his skin was pale as sheet and his hair was in a disarray. 'I can't keep this up.' Even his own reflection was mocking him.

            “Not yet,” Junmyeon’s eyes scanning through a patient's record, noting that the blood pressure, sugar and cholesterol level were stable before proceeding to the next patient. His façade depicted calmness and indifference.

            “How many days has it been? Aren't you going to call the police?” Jongdae frowned. He disliked the fact that Junmyeon was acting nonchalant about this matter. Didn’t Junmyeon care about Zhang Yixing, at all? The Chinese man could be fighting with his life by then and there Junmyeon was, checking dozing off the patients’ pulses and records. Oh, Jongdae just died from the irony!

            Junmyeon placed the last patient’s record in the compartment by the foot of the bed before deciding to call it a night. “You know the standard procedure - It's not past 48 hours yet,” Junmyeon stated as he headed towards the half-asleep nurses to tell them that he retired for the night and left Jongdae exasperated.

            Jongdae always thought that procedure was a complete bull. Anything can happen in 48 hours. Utter bull, Jongdae thought, when death capable to finish his deed in a mere second.

            But his therapeutic attempt was a catastrophe if the way he was stomping in the empty white hallways and half-moon marks in his palm were anything to go by.

            Junmyeon stood in the front of his apartment for minutes, hesitating to turn the knob. But in the end he relented as he concluded that he was only making a fool out of himself. As the door opened to a place that he stepped foot to a million times, the pang of silence hit him mercilessly and he felt he was a stranger to his own home. His glorious apartment looked so dull and empty that night.

            His eyes landed on the white walls behind his flat screen while his mind wandered. Junmyeon did called the officers during the first hour of Yixing absence and they gave him a 15-minute lecture on the standard procedure garbage but “[took] note” of it nonetheless. Junmyeon hurled his phone to the wall by the end of it. As he glanced at its remaining pieces, Junmyeon regretted on not buying Yixing one. Not once the thought came to mind that Yixing might have the use for it since the latter only coped up at home anyways. How stupid was he?

+

            'Click,' the audible sound of a door knob being turned made Junmyeon spun around from his position on the couch so fast. So fast, it made him dizzy. But that was the least matter concerned at the moment. It was Junmyeon’s off day that day. He was watching the rerun of Inkigayo but his mind was not on Girls Generation’s hot body wave in I Got a Boy choreography when his internal wish for Yixing to come home was granted. The clock read a quarter to ten in the morning.

            Yixing entered the apartment, looking haggard after running like a madman to catch for his scheduled train to Seoul from Busan station. Thank goodness it was the high speed train that capable to reach Seoul in exactly 28 minutes. Too tired from the running, Yixing took several winks and missed the chance to scan the modern interior.

            No, Yixing did not go to Haeundae-Busan for his monthly visit but for the death anniversary of his late father, the very man who had brought Yixing to South Korea in the first place. The only real family Yixing ever had, have and has.

            The whole day, when the sun was in the sky, Yixing spent on visiting his late father’s grave. It was located on a hill, amongst other graves. The grass was yet to be trimmed and there was a lone tree on the very top of the hill. The tree was majestic that its shadow shielded most of the graves there. And Yixing was very thankful that one of those shielded graves was his late father’s.

            Yixing brought a straw mat and laid them bare before sitting on them. He shrugged off the backpack from his shoulder and took out two green bottles of liquor, one packed jjajangmyun and dried squids for appetizers. Might as well having a picnic if he was going to spend the whole daylight there.

            For the first few minutes, Yixing was silent except for the sobs escaping from between his lips. It used to be worse with his hysterical screams but Yixing had matured from that. As the crying passed, Yixing began to talk in his mother tongue about Heechul’s death, the person who his father trusted in taking care of him. The tears came back but Yixing held most of it in.

  Then Yixing mentioned meeting Kim Junmyeon and Seoul.

            “He is Heechul-hyung’s brother. Remember the picture of a boy in hyung’s living room I told you about two years ago? It was him,” Yixing smiled as he recalled the first time he saw the picture. He recalled the anguish in Heechul’s eyes that day as well. “He takes me in now, baba. And no need to worry, he is a doctor. A brilliant one of that. So he is an expert in taking care of people,” he didn’t technically lied. “Seoul is bright and noisy just like a city would be. His apartment is huge compared to Hankyung and Heechul-hyung’s place. The kitchen has all the things I saw in TV, baba! But he rarely uses it. Such a shame. I guess he can’t cook, baba. And he is very messy too and doesn’t do the laundry. No wonder Baekhyun-shi always come by every Monday. Oh, Baekhyun-shi is Junmyeon-shi’s housekeeper, baba. He is very nice and teaches me Hangul every week. I can speak them now, mostly. But I still get confuse a lot with the characters,” he mumbles sheepishly. “But I’m learning. So that I can interact better with Junmyeon-shi. I want to show him my best! And he is…”

   The one-sided conversation continued as the day went by. And unknowingly, Yixing forgot about Seoul and focused on Kim Junmyeon instead.

             The soft winds grew colder and the sun casted an orange and purple lights on the horizon and Yixing realized that it was time to draw the conversation to a close. Yixing heaved a sigh worth a thousand years.

             “Aside from all that, I love him too, baba,” Yixing finally revealed at the end after his long ramble on said person. “And I don’t know what to do about this feeling. What am I supposed to do, baba? He has a long-time girlfriend too,” the tears came for the third time around and this time, Yixing didn’t have the heart to stop them.

              Yixing visited the Kim’s household as well while he was in the town. Junmyeon’s family always welcomed him with open arms. They were his second family, gladly took him under their wings and claimed him as their own especially after finding out that he and Junmyeon were the same age. Due to the unexpected visit, Mrs. Kim just prepared him marinated kimchi packed in a regular container unlike the usual complete dinner portions with soup, rice, fish, beef and anchovies during his monthly visits.

              “I know it’s not much, dear, but it should be enough for a week. If you’ve called earlier I would have prepared something better,” Mrs. Kim smiled regretfully as she handed him the packed kimchi. They were outside as Yixing was about to leave. He was planning for a short visit but they looked so reluctant to let him go and Yixing felt sympathy for them. “And how is our Junnie? Does he eat well? He doesn’t stay up late at night, right? If he’s sick make sure…”

              “He’s healthy, auntie,” Yixing cut her off as the older woman began to get emotional. The woman still remained unsure but Yixing gave her a heartfelt smile to provide reassurance. “I make sure he is. Really.”

              Mrs. Kim’s eyes watered at Yixing’s promise. “I’m glad that you’re there to take a good care of him. He often forgets about his well-being, you know,” she sighed sadly, her eyes stared at the faraway dark sky. “You’re our guardian angel, Yixing – always there protecting us.” She turned to look back at him before softly caressing the hair at the back of his neck. “Don’t forget to take care of yourself as well, dear. Your health is very important to us too. And please call us your umma and appa, son.” At the far end, the stars twinkled beautifully and Yixing felt blessed.

              Mr. Kim nodded. His ancient eyes wrinkled at the corners as he smiled at Yixing behind his golden-framed glasses. “Always believe that we love you as much as we love our Junnie. You’re our son as much as he is ours.” Mrs. Kim couldn’t agree more. They appeared so loving with Mr. Kim’s arm around Mrs. Kim’s waist. And Yixing wondered if someone would love him like that one day. He tried to shoo away the thought of Junmyeon being the potential someone.

              “Sure,” he paused, seemingly hesitant before caving in, “appa.” Mr. Kim looked proud at Yixing’s accomplishment. And Yixing was proud too that he has two fathers who loved him in this world and a mother as he never knew who his birth mother was.

              Junmyeon was so lucky to have them as his parents. Some people were not bestowed such luxury. If only the man could cherished them as much as Yixing did. Yixing never failed to curse Junmyeon as an ungrateful after every visit.

              “If you can, please bring our Junnie next time. If you can.” And Mrs. Kim never failed to say that too. And Yixing could only nod. Because that was the only thing he could afford to do. He never asked Junmyeon to come visit though, even if his guilt conscience was killing him. Because he knew Junmyeon wouldn’t want to.

    Because the man has a perfect life in Seoul. And with an empty promise, Zhang Yixing left the Kim’s household.

              Yixing didn’t feel like going back to Seoul just yet. There was no one waiting for him anyways. If he returned then, it wasn’t as if Junmyeon would be at home. The latter has more important matters to deal with in life than associating himself with Yixing. Yixing knew. And Junmyeon didn’t bother to hide it and instead be all obvious about it. Yixing knew. Because the memories of unreciprocated dimpled smiles, cold food, one-sided conversations, waiting up and welcoming home were suddenly became too much.

             He wandered around the dark streets aimlessly, unaccompanied. Yixing wondered what Junmyeon thought when he knew Yixing walked alone in the middle of the night like then. Did he worry? Probably not.

              Surprisingly Yixing didn’t felt scared. He was accustomed to it after wandering in unfamiliar Seoul streets for the past months. Since Junmyeon never brought him to explore as he was dead busy all the time, Yixing took it upon himself to do it alone, not wanting to trouble Junmyeon. And so far, he has not gotten lost yet as he always took the initiative to retrace back his steps. Although it was tiring, Yixing glad he did the exploring, instead of stayed coped up in the apartment. And Yixing had found amazing places and met brilliant people.

              Once, he stumbled upon a small dance studio located three blocks away from the apartment. Much later, he was told that he was watching the beginner’s class. He went to the studio almost everyday just to come and watch by the window. The genre was different, depending on the days. On Mondays were ballet, Tuesdays would be modern contemporary, Wednesdays were hip-hop, jazz on Thursdays, Fridays were for salsas and closed during the weekends. Yixing has always loved dancing. He did them secretly though. Not trusting himself to dance in front of the audience yet. But that changed when the owner, a tanned and gorgeous specimen named Kim Jongin approached him after almost three weeks of watching. Jongin offered him free lessons if Yixing agreed to teach the children every Monday afternoon for an hour.

               Yixing immediately agreed. He knew he was insane for trusting a deal with a stranger but the offer just ignited the spark inside him, imploring him to just dance again. Maybe Jongin saw the spark the first time too, not caring that Yixing was barely eloquent. “People dance with their hearts anyways,” Jongin once said in assurance, as if sensing Yixing insecurities. Moreover, Yixing has nothing to do anyways and he figured it was time for him to be less dependent on Junmyeon. Jongin also proposed a $10 per hour pay and Yixing had run out of excuses to decline.

               There was also the souvenir shop he frequented to from the first month he stepped foot in Seoul. The shop was owned by an old man named Do Minjoon who barely could walk with his cane. There were rarely customers and Yixing loved the tranquility compared to the noise out in the streets. Most people weren’t that much interested in antiques like Yixing did. Often, Yixing asked the old man where they came from and there was unmistakable delight flashed in the old man’s wary eyes as he told their stories although at first Yixing barely understood them but he tried.

     And Yixing believed all of them.

               And then one day, Yixing didn’t see the old man for over a week as the shop was closed. But when it was opened once again, the old man couldn’t be seen and instead in his place was a young man, small in stature with big round eyes. Yixing had asked him on the old man whereabouts one day.

               “He passed away four days ago. The doctors diagnosed the cause of death was heart attack but it was not that. I think the age has just caught up on him,” the man who introduced him as Do Kyungsoo muttered forlornly. Kyungsoo was the old man’s grandson who shared his love for the antiques as well.

                Yixing kept quiet, not daring to offer comfort as he was merely a stranger who listened to wartime stories which its truth remained debatable. In his right hand palm was an expensive looking golden locket that Kyungsoo claimed belonged to one of the Chinese concubines in the Ming Dynasty era. Inside, there were two spaces where photos should be. The intricate designs on its exterior were handsomely carved. There were in the shape of sakura blooms and at the back of it there were Chinese characters engraved together to make a poem. It said;

“Insignificant waters become,

When sailings to the ocean abound,

Misty clouds circles Mount Wu around,

That’s the best scenery I have ever found.”

                 “He told me to give this to one who looked like he doesn’t belong and could read the poem with fluency. And I knew and sure he meant you. Because you’re the only customer who knows of his name,” Kyungsoo explained. His large eyes stared at the locket in his Yixing’s palm. He acknowledged the discomfort in Yixing’s features. “Take it. It is meant for you. He said it suits you. And do you know what the poem means, Zhang Yixing-shi?”

                 Yixing without a doubt understood what it meant so he nodded. “The poet expressed the love for whom the poem was dedicated to,” he muttered.

       There was a knowing glint in Kyungsoo’s dark orbs. “Come here anytime. I’ll make you coffee.”

                 And Yixing did, ever since then. Unconsciously, his fingers touched something cold in his pocket that could only be the locket he carried along all the time.

                 He also has gotten close with the ladies in the grocery market when Yixing realized that it was cheaper to shop there rather than the convenience store. They gave him discounts too and some freebies that Yixing was too happy to refuse. Sometimes he went there with Baekhyun. Everyone there knew Baekhyun as he charmed the ladies there with his wits and jokes.

                 One time, people asked who was Yixing to Baekhyun since they came together a few times and Baekhyun jokingly introduced Yixing as his employer’s spouse. The ladies didn’t think it was a joke though and the questions shoot him like spitfires – how long was he married, any children, among others. Seemingly satisfied after witnessing Yixing being tortured, Baekhyun finally saved him by asking for the latest gossips. And Yixing didn’t seem interesting to the ladies anymore.

                  To Yixing, Busan and Seoul held no difference. Both were Yixing’s home then – Busan was where his family lived and Seoul was where Kim Junmyeon was. Perhaps Yixing was naïve or too inexperience to come up with that conclusion as he was the type to see the best in everything and Yixing saw no harm done from being positive. But his positive nature started dwindling down along with his chaotic emotions after Kim Junmyeon happened.

                  And Yixing tried to find comfort in Busan’s famous town cinema that closed late at nights. Transformers 4: Age of Extinction was now showing and Yixing drowned himself with alien robots and explosions. He got himself the largest combo of sweet popcorn and Coke and the cinema to himself. Good. Because Yixing wanted to hide from the world for a while. At least until when Optimus Prime finished saving the world again.

+

            “Do you mind if I stay here for the night, Lu-ge?” Yixing gave Luhan his best pitiful expression, fully knowing that the elder would give in easily. The train station had closed two hours ago and Yixing didn’t have enough cash on him to get a room for the night. Furthermore, he had spent his spare change on the movie ticket and food. All that was left was for money for the train ticket.

            So here he was, the only place he could thought of, Luhan’s small apartment that he shared with his younger boyfriend, an Oh Sehun. Although it was quite a distance from the train station. The Kim’s household would be much a better option if distance from the train station was accountable but he didn’t want to be of inconvenience to them. Well, Luhan was a different story.

            “Its ing one in the morning, Yixing-ah. Can you find a better time frame?” Luhan whined in annoyance. His eyes were half closed, too heavy to open them up.

            “I lost count of the time. Sorry, Lu-ge. But just this once, please,” Yixing begged. “I promise I’ll be as silent as a mouse. I even sleep on the floor. I really don’t mind!”

            Just then, a mop of brown hair peeked from behind the half-opened front door and Sehun’s displeased, sleepy face came to view. Yixing cowered a little in reflex. Even if Sehun was younger than Yixing by three years, the older couldn’t help but felt intimidated by the younger.

            Luhan seemed to be surprised at Sehun’s sudden presence. His doe eyes were wide opened then. “Did we wake you up?” he gasped with worry. Sehun replied with a garble that only Luhan could understand. “Go back to sleep. I’ll come over soon.”

            “Just let Yixing-hyung in and come to bed soon. It’s damn cold,” Sehun groused as he stretched before retiring back to the only room in the apartment. And Yixing realized belatedly that Sehun was only wearing his pajama bottom. The rush of blood on his cheeks couldn’t be help as he stared at Sehun’s back.

            “Stop staring at Sehun! He’s mine,” Luhan glared when he noticed where Yixing’s stare directed at. Luhan looked like an infuriated kitten when he was angry with his snarling and Yixing didn’t felt terrified the least. “And you may sleep on the couch. I’ll get you a blanket. Wait a second.” And Luhan left him alone in the living room plus kitchen to go fetched the said blanket.

            Yixing sat on the couch and made himself comfortable. His eyes scanned the place and the place changed so little over the course of five months. Luhan was Yixing’s bestfriend with only a year of between them. Their idea of hanging out was a couple of canned beers and takeaway chicken at Luhan’s place. Sehun almost never home when Yixing dropped by in the past as the younger still in his university’s last year. He wasn’t sure when Luhan and Sehun started their relationship since they were already together when Yixing had met Luhan the first time.

            “Here,” Luhan appeared out of nowhere and tossed him a fluffy blanket. It was red and an obnoxious Manchester United’s logo was sewn at the front. “Don’t you dare to drool on them! This is the only extra blanket I could find. You should be honored that I’m lending them to you. And get some sleep. You looked tired,” Luhan yawned while scratching his stomach.

            “Thanks, Lu-ge. You’re the best,” Yixing yawned as well and arranged the couch pillows to make himself comfortable before laying down, the blanket barely covered his body but warm enough.

            Luhan was silent for awhile, before replying, “You too, Yixing.”

            Yixing left with the first scheduled high speed train from Busan to Seoul the next morning. Sehun and Luhan offered to drive him back to the station seeing that it would took Yixing longer by foot.

+

            “Where the hell have you been?!”

             Yixing jumped at that sudden verbal assault so early in the morning. The harsh voice unmistakably belonged to Junmyeon who never yelled at him before no matter how stupid Yixing was in communication. He was shocked that Junmyeon was at home at this time in the morning. Usually, Junmyeon would still be doing his shift by then. But if it was Junmyeon’s off day, he would go out on a date or hang out with his friends.

            “I'm asking you again,” his facial expression showed anger but Junmyeon’s eyes, they were showing something else. “Where have you been?” voice went gentler but firm, heat barely sizzling on the surface. Yixing noted the slight shaky vibrations at the end of the line, almost missed.

            “Does it matter? I’m home now, aren’t I?” Yixing shot back. He strutted towards the kitchen to store Mrs. Kim’s packed kimchi in the refrigerator. There were unwashed dishes in the sink and exhaustion hit Yixing like strong current.

            Yixing’s nonchalance frustrated Junmyeon further. “It does matter!” Junmyeon was trying to keep his blood pressure down. But he found himself explode. “I OWNED THIS PLACE YIXING AND YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE AND COME BACK AS YOU PLEASE!” his hand made a grab at one of the throw pillows and flung it towards the vase beside Yixing. The sound of shattering glass filled their ears. More broken pieces to clean for Yixing. “I deserve to know where you went, dammit!”

            And suddenly everything became too much again.

            “You want to know where I went, huh!” Yixing scoffed but his voice faltered at the end. His vision became hazy. “Okay, fine! Since you want to know so much. I went to visit my father’s grave yesterday. It was his death anniversary. I went alone. But it’s okay because you’re busy saving lives,” the floodgates opened and his voice cracked somewhere in his speech which told Junmyeon that Yixing was definitely not okay. But Yixing was not finished yet. “I went to visit your family too. Do you know that they asked me to call them umma and appa? I can only give them so much Junmyeon when compared to you. Do you even miss them? Your mother never fails to ask for you to come and visit. Just for one ing day, Kim Junmyeon,” Junmyeon widened his eyes at the rude calling of his name, hearing it for the first time with so much pent-up emotions coming from Yixing’s lips. “I bet you don’t know how lucky it is to have loving parents, aren’t you? I feel pity for them to have a son with the likes of you,” the words tasted like venom and intended to hurt him. “And I don’t have enough money to get a small room! Yes, I spent them on a movie and food but can’t you blame me for indulging myself for once after such a depressing day. You know I have to walk alone in the dead of the night to a friend’s place that lives with his scary boyfriend just to get a place to sleep. But you don’t care, do you? You never do. I can be kidnapped and slaughtered last night for all you care,” Yixing croaked in anguish. His vocal cord hurt from the exertion it went through.

            Fuming, Yixing left for his bedroom only to gasp in horror at the state of mess it was in. His neatly hung clothes were lying helplessly on the bed and stripped bare from its hangers. His suitcase that was supposed to be under his bed was laid out in the open. But what caught his eyes the most was a broken photo frame. The picture went missing.

            He crouched and began to pick up the broken glass pieces cautiously – careful not to cut himself. Yixing was in enough pain as he is. The tears still streamed down his face but not as intense as before.

            “I-I'm sorry that I look through your stuff without permission,” Yixing didn't realize that all this time Junmyeon followed him to his room. Yixing made no attempt to reply, busying himself by hanging his clothes in the closet tiredly. Not once he turned around, letting Junmyeon facing his back.

            Junmyeon knew he was being ignored but took the silence as a sign to continue nonetheless. God knew he deserved it. “I was searching for your address book hoping to find where you went to,” he paused and glanced at Yixing. The latter was still hanging his clothes. They were all rumpled. “And you were wrong,” that came a bit inaudible but Yixing still managed to catch on. Yixing stopped all his movements, just remained standing there, back still facing Junmyeon while daring Junmyeon to continue on. “I do care. More than you think.”

            Silence.

            “Are you mad because I shouted at you earlier? Look, I'm sorry. I don’t usually go berserk like that. It w—-” he was cut off by Yixing.

            “Why didn't you ever come home to eat?” this statement took Junmyeon off guard. The things that he expected Yixing would say, that was definitely not one of them. “You know, a few days ago,” he stopped to turn around to see if Junmyeon was listening before proceeding, “I baked you a cake. I wanted to apologize for stepping over the boundaries. I waited for you to come home,” he paused, too reluctant to continue. Too afraid that his truest feelings might show. “And I waited. And waited. And waited. But you never came.”

            “What happen to the cake?” Junmyeon asked because as far as he knew, he never saw a cake in the refrigerator before.

            “I threw it away.”

            “I’m sorry,” Junmyeon apologized again for the umpteenth time that day. He closed the distance between them and stood directly in front of Yixing. The latter’s eyes fixated to the wooden floorboards. Junmyeon tilted his chin so that they made eye contact. The gentle gesture that was bordering romantic took Yixing by surprised. “Are you still upset?” Junmyeon asked. He curved his lips upwards, forming a soft smile. Junmyeon brushed off Yixing's bangs away from his eyes softly. Yixing closed his eyes to savor the moment. A callous thumb caressed his dimpled cheeks, stopping the tears.

            “Yes,” Yixing lied.

            “Alright, I’ll make it up to you,” Junmyeon vowed, seeing through Yixing’s half-hearted lie and finding the latter’s persistence adorable. “How about we go out to eat for a change. Staying in the apartment too much must have killed your brain cells. Chinese food is okay with you?” he joked as he questioned softly.

            “I can eat Korean food too you know,” Yixing stated.

            Junmyeon chuckled. “Of course you can. Korean food it is.” Junmyeon grabbed a hold of his wrist in the midst of it all and faint smile painted on his lips, “Let's go.” Yixing was caught again in Junmyeon’s net and he wasn’t sure how to escape anymore or if he ever wanted to. They both left the apartment with marks now forever etched in their hearts and somewhere along the way, Junmyeon's big hand slide down to Yixing’s palm just a bit more and interlaced their fingers together.

            Yixing dared himself to hope and Junmyeon dared himself to accept.

            Both never get to realize that they actually held a conversation more than what they had for the past months combined.