Junmyeon came to work the next day with a huge grin plastered on his face. His colleagues of getting it on last night but he made no move correcting them. These past couples of weeks have been amazing for Junmyeon. His relationship with Yixing has improved since that fateful day. They talk and joke a lot more now just to see Yixing’s beautiful dimpled smiles, making it all worth even more.

Junmyeon was snapped back from reality when an elbow sharply nudged him on the ribs. He turned to glare on the perpetrator, who was none other than Kim Jongdae, to give him a piece of his mind. But then stopped at the last second when Jongdae anxiously declared, “Miyoung alert! Miyoung alert!”

And sure there she was, clad in her uniform, approaching them with a slight sashay of her hips. Junmyeon gulped nervously. She looked as beautiful as always, not a single hair out of place and he knew he was one lucky bastard to be engaged to her. Yixing would never be an option if Junmyeon didn’t know him, with his out-of-date clothes, messy hair and awkward Hangul. Junmyeon couldn’t be more wrong.

Miyoung stopped directly in front of him. A seductive smile painted on her red lips. Two of her top buttons were opened and Junmyeon got a clear view of the necklace on her swan neck. It's just like what he had imagined; it suits the owner perfectly. He smiled proudly, for once thinking he had made the right choice.

She leaned forward slightly to whisper in his hear, “My house tonight, at eight.” Junmyeon involuntarily shivered at the soft breath tickling his ear. It smelt like fresh citrus with hints of minty sugar. His colleagues gaped at the exchange, slightly envious. Miyoung left the scene after blowing a sweet flying kiss to his direction.

Inwardly, Junmyeon pumped up his fist in victory. Yixing’s smile blurred like pixelated monograms at the back of his mind.

Junmyeon turned back to his friends and laughed at his friends' fish-out-of water expressions. Unconsciously, this inflated his ego and he couldn’t help feeling smug all of a sudden knowing that Miyoung was his.

“Dude, what did she say?” Kris asked, an arm encircling his neck in a tight grip, playfully strangling him.

“It's not a big deal. And also, none of your business,” he spat with humor.

“I'm jealous. You're so ing lucky, Junmyeon-hyung!” Chanyeol sulked and continued. “What happened to you guys anyway? We heard a lot of rumors for the past few weeks and I heard the Chinese guy living with you is a total home wrecker.” Chanyeol frowned, clearly confused with all of it.

Junmyeon took a sharp intake of breath. He understood that the topic would be brought up sooner or later, people wanted the truth and so far nothing has been confirmed yet. “Yixing isn’t a home wrecker, guys. He has become a responsibility of mine and let’s just say, Miyoung didn’t take it too well and still does I guess,” he tried to clear out the misunderstandings as best as he could. But he felt strange though. The thought of calling Yixing his made him feel strange.

His friends seemed to be satisfied with his answer, for now.

+

As promised, that night, Junmyeon went to Miyoung's house straight from the hospital, with hopes to mend what was broken.

Miyoung lived in one of the small town-houses on the outskirts of the city with a childhood friend of hers, a Kim Taeyeon. Taeyeon was an elementary school teacher and conveniently she went on a two-days-trip to the Jeju Island with her students. “So it’s fine if you want to stay for the night,” Miyoung smiled sweetly, eyes turning into crescents.

They were sitting on the dining table eating Miyoung’s specialty, spaghetti and meatballs, when she offered the invitation. Junmyeon almost choked on his wine, easily reading between the lines. He was about to open his mouth to agree only to be disrupted by an image of a lonely Yixing watching dramas by himself with knees against his chest. They just reconciled yesterday and Junmyeon didn’t want to impose on Yixing further. Somehow, arguing with Yixing was too exhausting and unconsciously hurtful in some way. But he was done fighting with Miyoung too.

And just like that, Junmyeon was stuck in the middle.

“Um-“ Junmyeon began hesitantly.

Noticing the hesitation, Miyoung frowned. “What’s wrong?”

He was elated to see a table full of home-made cooking, made especially for him. Seeing Junmyeon's cute reaction, Miyoung couldn't help but kiss him softly on the lips. Before Miyoung could retreat back to the kitchen, Junmyeon embraced her on the waist, pulling her closer. And the kiss continues, going deeper and passionate. But they pulled off soon due to being out of breath.

“Does that mean I'm forgiven?” his lips were swollen from the breathtaking kiss. God, how much he missed this?!

Miyoung gave him a peck on the mouth and grinned. “I could never get mad at you that long, silly. Especially when you just gave me this lovely necklace,” her fingers curled up on the piece of jewelry on her neck. She gave him another peck, “I really love it. Thank you, dear.”

Junmyeon let out a huge grin. “My pleasure.” He was truly a gentleman of honor.

They spent the night having dinner and chatting around. But that didn't last long. It was disrupted by the sudden ringing of Junmyeon's phone.

He took a glance on the caller ID only to find out that it was Yixing. The smile on his lips became frozen. It felt like a bucket of iced water has just been dumped on his head. “Excuse me for a second. I have to answer this call,” he excused himself and left for the living room.

Miyoung wondered who might be the caller. Junmyeon was clearly anxious after looking who the caller was. 'Maybe it's the head doctor,' she shrugged.

“Hello?” Junmyeon started.

“Where are you?” Yixing didn't waste a moment to ask. He was seriously pissed at Junmyeon's irresponsible attitude and has been waiting all night for just one call from Junmyeon. “You promised to call, remember?”

Junmyeon momentarily slapped himself mentally. He totally had forgotten about that. “Oh, gosh! I’m sorry. I completely forget about that. I'm at Miyoung's house right now and probably won't make it back for tonight,” he grimaced.

Yixing went cold as his heart stopped beating. He could feel the blood rushing through his veins, hands trembling.

“Hello?” Junmyeon took a look at the screen. It was still connected. “Hey Yixing, are you still there?”

“Y-yes,” he managed to stutter. His hands gripped on the phone tightly till his knuckles turned white; afraid that if he lets it go, his hands would tremble uncontrollably.

“Don't wait for me, okay?” no reply. Junmyeon began to wonder if Yixing was okay. “Hey, you okay there?”

"Oh, yeah. I-I'm fine,” he muttered. “O-okay then. See you tomorrow,” and he hung up. Yixing stood there in what felt like a long time, staring into nothing. The phone was clenched tightly in his fist. And he could safely say that he resigned from hoping for his feelings being requited.

Junmyeon wondered if Yixing was really okay. He didn't sound okay a few moments ago. Somehow he felt something doesn’t sit well in his gut. He stared blankly at his phone screen, deciding whether he should call back or not.

In the end, he didn’t.

“Who called?” Miyoung asked as Junmyeon approached the kitchen.

“Oh, um… No one important. Don't worry about it,” he smiled while giving her a peck on the cheek.

Miyoung didn't ask further questions. She was too contented on having Junmyeon by her side. Junmyeon was being extra affectionate that night making her feeling like nothing could go wrong. She was the luckiest woman on Earth to be love by Kim Junmyeon, she decided. Really, he was the right man for her.

“Darling,” she called. They were sitting on the couch, watching the late rerun of SNL. Her head lying on top of Junmyeon’s lap as he caressed her hair softly. “Do you remember about going to Los Angeles for a vacation, last month?” Junmyeon tried to recall and then he nodded his head. “I was wondering,” Miyoung was playing with her fingers, a sign that she was nervous. “How about we go next week?”

To be honest, Junmyeon was out of it after Yixing’s phone call. His mind was void of space throughout the night with bits and pieces of Miyoung’s voice, smiles and laughs at the end. So when she asked to change the trip earlier, Junmyeon just couldn't say no. “Sure, babe. Anything for you.” Guilt surged up his whole being, hating himself for feeling and acting like this.

This wasn’t him. He was never like this.

Their night ends with a little rendezvous on Miyoung's bed while Yixing lying cold on his own.

Unknowingly, Junmyeon put his phone closed by his side. Just in case.

            “Yes, how can I help you?” the security guard approached him.

            “I'm interested in the apartment at the second floor. Is it still available?” Yixing asked while he looked around.

            The man looked thoughtful for a moment. “Oh! That one! I'm sorry. It's been occupied since two days ago,” the man smiled apologetically.

            Yixing was disappointed to say the least. He spent the whole morning searching for any affordable place to stay. He needed to get out of Junmyeon's apartment as soon as possible or else he would end up in a mental institute for suffering the aftermath of heartbreaks. And besides, he couldn't stay this dependent on Junmyeon for too long.

            He left the building with a smile and a 90 degree bow. After all, manners are important.

             Just when he came out from the building, a vibration came from his pocket.

            Looking at the caller ID, Yixing was shocked to see who it was. It was Junmyeon’s mother. She usually called him during Sundays. So it’s quite rare for her to call as it was Monday. Is there an emergency?

'Your mother plans to visit tomorrow. And she asked you to stop ignoring her calls.'

            Junmyeon could feel the headache that was about to come and excused himself from the break room to give Yixing a call. His left hand was gripping the phone while his right was massaging his forehead, trying to ease the pain.

            “Hello?” the soft voice from the other line never fails to make him flutter on the inside.

            “Hey, I got your text,” Yixing could detect exhaustion from Junmyeon's tone. Suddenly, he felt guilty for being too much of a burden to Junmyeon. I need to get out of the apartment fast, but first things first, he thought.

            “Oh, you don’t have to worry about it. She'll only be here for five days. It's okay if you're uncomfortable, I could just tell her that you went for some conference or something,” he said all in one breath.

            He heard Junmyeon's amused laughter on the other line. He's going to really miss that. The thought saddened him a little. “Don't worry, I'll be there. Who knows what she will do to you if I left you alone with her for five days?” he teased.

            Yixing blushed at his comment. “A-are you s-sure it's alright for you?” he asked. The thought on Junmyeon worrying about him made him a little hopeful. But he pushed that hope deep down. He was a burden to Junmyeon as it was.

            “Positive!” Junmyeon has never felt so confident in his life. It has been a long time since he saw his mother anyways. The last time was during the funeral they had barely spoken a word.

            The call ended with “Goodbyes” and “I’ll see you tonight,” on Junmyeon's part.

Yixing acknowledged Junmyeon's 'kicked-puppy' look. Wrinkled lines were visible on his forehead. “I changed the arrangements, hope you don't mind?” he tried to sound less offensive.

Junmyeon moved his hands away from his vision, taking in on the changes. Honestly, his apartment looked much better than before. He had to thank Yixing for that. “Its fine,” he lifted his gaze towards Yixing, “It looks nice. Thanks,” he smiled, although it seems forced, Junmyeon’s compliment had made Yixing’s day more worth it. “I'm just going to my room now and sleep,” Junmyeon yawned as he stood and then left the living room.

            Flashes of red on Miyoung's face and the necklace being thrown at his face recurred in his mind. Surprisingly, he didn't feel anything. In fact, he was less affected by it all. He used to care and immediately make up for it. Really, he did. And that was the best part about being in a relationship with Miyoung. She was hard to please and it doesn’t mean if you’re in a relationship with her, you would have have her. No, and Junmyeon used to love the thrill and the excitement.

But the luster has gone, Junmyeon realized belatedly. And he knew the cause of it.

            Then, the image of Yixing came across his mind. He was wearing those ugly looking pants that Junmyeon was so accustomed to see the other wearing, those simple t-shirts and his messy hair that was soft with just one touch (Junmyeon would know because he lost his temptation once) compared to Miyoung’s fancy branded clothes and perfect make up to make her shine more than she already is.

              A small lift on Junmyeon's lips said that he was more than pleased with Yixing’s mental image dancing around his mind.

When Junmyeon returned home that night, Yixing was chopping carrots on the kitchen counter while cooking something on the stove. He looked so focused, Junmyeon felt like he was an intruder in his own home.

“I’m home.” Junmyeon said while shutting the door.

Yixing looked up from the chopping board and flashed his dimpled smile, skipping thousands of beats inside of Junmyeon’s chest, wondering how he was still alive.

“Your mother’s in the guest bedroom setting up her things, she should be done by now.”

Not five minutes after Mrs. Kim came out rushing over to Junmyeon forcing him into a hug while hitting and scolding him at the same time for being an ungrateful child who never bothers returning phone calls or calling even.

After his mother was satisfied nagging Junmyeon, he took off his blazer and placed it on the couch. What surprised both his mom and Yixing was he came to the kitchen to ask if Yixing needed help with anything.

Yixing tried his best to hide his happiness that was about to make his lips twitch, even if it was playing pretend for Mrs. Kim he would gladly take it like a fool.

Besides, he would be leaving the place in less than a week.

+

On the last day of Mrs. Kim’s visit, Yixing helped her pack her luggage at the back of the taxi while Junmyeon sternly advised the cabbie to drive his mother safely back to Busan, saying that if he receives even the smallest complaints, the cabbie would be toast.

Before Mrs. Kim entered the vehicle she whispered something into Yixing’s ear leaving him feeling guilty and inconveniently flattered.

‘I’m glad you’re here with him, he opens up better than he used to. Please take care of him for me.’

Although Yixing knew better, he replied with an ‘I will’ while cracking a soft smile and silently apologizing for lying at the same time to his auntie and  watched the back of the cab drove away.

They were walking on the way back to their apartment and Junmyeon looked like he was about to say something when his phone rang. He told Yixing to go upstairs first and wait for him there.

For a moment, Yixing was so happy because it felt like they were finally close for the second time. However, the first step on the staircase shattered him when he heard Junmyeon wanting to see her at their usual place.

It doesn’t take a genius to discover on the other line was Miyoung. Junmyeon’s expression changed as well as his tone. It was always her because Junmyeon never looked or sounded like that with anyone but her.

Yixing realized he couldn’t deal with this and just sped up the staircase threatening not to spill the unshed tears he endured ever since the first time Junmyeon had hurt him.

He hid himself in his room and whispered to himself over and over again how after this, everything was going to be fine. No more heartaches for Zhang Yixing – promising to give his heart a rest.

It’s not like this hasn’t happened before.

Silently, he rummages through his backpack and takes out a slip of paper. There, the address of his new apartment is clearly written in striking blue. A day after Junmyeon’s mother’s arrival, he found a flyer of a decent space on his way to the marketplace while Junmyeon’s mother stayed at home, too exhausted from the long drive prior.

When Yixing called the landlord and found out the place was still empty, he immediately went to take a look at the place straight away. The place is nothing much but at least Yixing can manage with his meager salary. The place has an open kitchenette, small bathroom and a space fit enough for a single bed and a dining table for two. The whole apartment is basically the size of Junmyeon’s bedroom.

And just yesterday, after breakfast, Yixing had signed the lease to the apartment and paid for the first month rent before he was off to work. For a moment, his hand refused to sign his initial on the dotted line at the end of the contract.

But then he remembers Junmyeon is engaged and doesn’t and never will like men with the rift between him and his brother as evidence.

He remembers Junmyeon’s way of speaking, his soft melodic voice, blinding smiles, crinkles of his nose, those big sincere eyes, the face he does when he yawns, how he likes his coffee, how he always forgets his briefcase and come backs for it not a minute later, loves Chinese takeaways, secretly enjoys variety shows with horribly scripted jokes, doesn’t like to talk about how his day went has because he likes to listen how Yixing’s day has been going, the slight smile he never fails to give after drinking Yixing’s coffee which the latter was sure it was an imagination of his but started believing in them after the seventh, and his…

The list went on, not realizing that three perfect round wet patches had stained the contract.

“Umm, are you alright?” the landlord asked in worry. “We can always do it another day or,” he hesitated for a while before continuing. “Or if you have any other places you interested in…”

“No,” Yixing shook his head and smiled. He sniffled for one last time before wiping the tears away. “I’m fine. This is fine. It’s all fine.”

And Yixing signed his name directly on top of the dotted line.

As Yixing neared the main door, he took a final glance and took it all in. Bits and pieces of memory fragments came all at once and Yixing lets it all go. Yixing has had enough with crying over Kim Junmyeon. It was always because of Junmyeon.

So he left before the tears could fall.

A lone key laid on the black countertop and next to it, a blue post-it, color as bright as the sky, a drawn heart filled with red and the words,

‘Naega dangsin-eul bon sunganbuteo ma-eum-eun gyeoglyeolhage chigoissda. Hangsang.’

From the moment I saw you, my heart has been beating wildly. Always.

+

Junmyeon met Miyoung later that afternoon at their usual café, it’s time to confront Miyoung about their push and pull relationship. As cruel as Miyoung ever was, she’s still a woman and she deserves an explanation for all these confusing weeks.

As soon as Junmyeon sat down on the wooden chair, he felt nervous. So, he didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Miyoung was already there, claiming that she was only early by a couple of minutes. She ordered a Caramel Macchiato while Junmyeon ordered nothing. He felt like he would throw up if he consumed anything.

But he needed to let it all out.

He just didn’t know where to start. He knew this breakup was coming from his own selfish reasons and the both of them even had plans on marrying each other.

But, he knew he has to do it. He knew he could and he would.

 “Oppa, I’m sorry for how I acted last time. You know I don’t mean anything by it.” Miyoung started smoothly with that velvety voice, breaking the ice. She softly caressed Junmyeon’s hand that lied innocently on the table. The ring on her ring finger bears Junmyeon’s promise to her - of love and forevers – made a cruel stab on Junmyeon’s conscience.

Junmyeon tiredly sighs and finally Miyoung notice something was up. It was quite strange for Junmyeon to act like that – weird and uncomposed. She did apologized. Was that not enough? Was her conduct before too much? The uneasy waves crashed into her heart harshly as if it was a warning for a hurricane occurrence. Somehow today felt different.

“Miyoung-ah, you’re beautiful. So beautiful and you can do better. So much better with someone that…” Junmyeon paused and thought why this was so difficult. He looked into her eyes, almost pleading, and “Someone that isn’t me.”

At those words, Miyoung was baffled. Junmyeon has been confusing her too much these past weeks. On some occasions Miyoung just wanted to jump at him but on other days, she just wants to murder him. In the past, they never had these complications. Their relationship was sweet and somehow felt more real than what they have in the present. She cried on a few nights but Junmyeon didn’t need to know that.

“What do you mean oppa?” she asked clenching her fists under the table, hoping for the best.

Junmyeon looked as if he didn’t want to answer that but he did after a few beats when Miyoung looked like she wouldn’t back down either. “Someone will come to love you more than I do and I’m sure he’s going to be wonderful.”

Miyoung perfectly knew where this conversation is leading to. She has been in a lot of them and the one starting it too. She knew what Junmyeon was about to say. She wanted to scream her lungs out but then again she knows better.

 “What about getting married? You said you wanted to marry me, Junmyeon! Me! You said this is it. We are it. After all this time we were bragging to other people about how great this will turn out, how amazing this will be. You’re just going to give it up like that. Stop being a kid and think Junmyeon. This is not a drama where things will be fine even after happens.” Miyoung raged, turning red like a beetroot.

Junmyeon knew he was out for a battle and was very well prepared with this situation. He has been cussed by Miyoung a lot lately and he thinks he was slowly immune to her threats. So, he doesn’t let it bother him that much. Instead he lets out a sadistic chuckle, making Miyoung’s rant halt. Junmyeon was not acting like himself. Where did her sweet Junmyeon gone?

“I thought you were the one too. My God, I really did,” Junmyeon was laughing and sobbing at the same time. He was laughing because he just screwed his chance of having a normal family and crying because he was in love with Yixing so much that he was willing to throw his perfect life away. “I really did, Miyoung-ah. But I have been experiencing this utmost pain and longing in the heart that can’t be cured by these hands you see. It happens everytime when I’m thinking of that person. And…” he smiled but it looked heartbreaking somehow. “And, that person isn’t you.

I’m sorry.”

Junmyeon took his hands off the table and clasped them on his lap. He looked younger and insecure and Miyoung almost felt sorry. Almost. Because she was the victim here. So instead, she scoffed.

Junmyeon was surprised at the haughty response but continued anyway. “If every day is going to be like this, I’m not sure I could handle it. I’m tired Miyoung-ah. I can’t go around chasing circles.”

Sure enough, Miyoung felt stupid. Maybe she shouldn’t have acted how she always has been but Junmyeon stayed with Miyoung long enough to even think of marriage. All these times, she always thought that Junmyeon is in love with that side of her too. After all, isn’t being in love means that, that person accepts both the perfections and imperfections. It’s just the way she is. She cannot be perfect all the time.

Then reality came crashing down – Junmyeon wasn’t in love with her anymore. And something came from the back of her mind, like a dark smoke, unwelcoming. It was a question. The question hit her curiosity so hard that she was afraid of what reality fired back at her. She felt terrified and scared of the answer to her curiosity but it is the only thing she could think of right now.

Junmyeon sat across her leaning his back on the wooden chair while looking back at her with a pleading expression. He looked scared and frightened as well but for different reasons. Miyoung never thought her words would bite on his emotions like that.

When she saw that, it broke her heart completely.

“Junmyeon…., are you in love with someone else?” Miyoung knew she dropped the bomb when his look is no longer pleading, but instead a surprised one. His shoulders faltered and the atmosphere changed. It seemed that Junmyeon was having a hard time loving that person.

Junmyeon’s expression said it all.

Without waiting for Junmyeon’s reply, she took off the engagement ring and dropped it in the Caramel Macchiato she ordered which has gone cold and untouched. There was no answer required, she knew Junmyeon well (so damn well that it unbearably hurts during moments like this) and it didn’t take her long enough to guess what she thought was right. Every inch of her body was trembling and pain absorbed her. Now, she knew why the kisses didn’t feel right anymore and why the finger prints on her body only left an unpleasant tingle on her skin.

Mustering all her pride, she took out the money for the coffee and left the store while hastily putting her sunglasses on. She doesn’t want to be that girl who throws out her emotions looking stupid, embarrassing both her and her partner. She wants to be that girl where, everybody admires for being strong enough to stand up for herself. As of now, that didn’t matter anymore when her tears started to spill when she got in the car.

It’s painful but she has to let go.

Even when she wants to stay, she couldn’t.

They’re not meant to be.

+

            The relief pounding in his chest was so unbearable, he couldn’t breathe. He doesn’t remember the last time he felt like this. He felt so light that he swore he could float and touched the clouds. It felt that amazing. Although, it was completely inappropriate for him to be feeling this way, he just couldn’t help it. Besides he’s only human.

            As soon as he stepped out of the café, he felt the need to run. Run and catch Yixing doing whatever chore he was probably on right now. Tell Yixing how much he waited his problems to be over just so Junmyeon could be with him. Tell Yixing that Junmyeon loves him while surprising him with a bouquet of roses from the back. It seemed like a pretty good plan, so he raced down to the Fleur Maison across the street and greeted the employees as he entered

            He returned home driving like a psychotic man, in hopes Yixing would come and greet him as soon as he hangs his coat.

            However, the feeling felt almost foreign to him when the finds the apartment cold and quiet. It was bone chilling and Junmyeon doesn’t know why he felt scared for a minute there. Maybe because he expected Yixing to greet him as soon as he came home, that was probably the reason why.

            Junmyeon planned to surprise him but he thought that could wait after he change his clothes. He planned to scare Yixing out of his wits and pester him with his bad jokes and wait until the sunset arrives and drag Yixing out there and spill out his desperate confession.

Though, that all changed.

It changed because of a spare apartment key and a blue post-it lying innocently on a black counter top.

Suddenly, there a surge of emotions suddenly blasted inside his body. It was unexplainable how he felt angry, sad, frustrated and annoyed all at the same time. He never learned this in any textbook during his medical school years. It made him stressed all of the sudden.

            Junmyeon sat on the living room couch with the blue post-it already crumbled in his fist. He sat there thinking of what he had done that made Yixing unsatisfied enough to run away. He sat there replaying the days, weeks, and months of his actions to Yixing. He sat there contemplating his relationship he had with Yixing. He just wanted to laugh about how a simple unsophisticated Chinese guy could turn his world upside down and turn him into this desperate idiot.

            Once Junmyeon felt like he had enough, he took out his phone and started to dial Yixing’s number. He waited and waited until the call was disconnected. He left countless of messages and texts that might seem annoying.

But he didn’t care, because he already felt stupid enough.

            Stupid because of neglecting his feelings.

            Stupid because he never realized Yixing’s feelings.

            Stupid because he has felt so ridiculous in all of his life.

            He wanted Yixing back and he needed him. God! Why does Yixing make this so complicated, why can’t he just stay here. Junmyeon could feed him, put a roof over his head and buy him things. Does Yixing even realize how much Junmyeon’s hurting?

            Junmyeon felt like he was going insane.

+     

            It has been exactly three months after Yixing left. The melted chocolates and the dead roses were still on the table. The apartment went a little too quiet after Yixing’s departure.

+

            Life has been good for Yixing.

            The first thing he did after he moved in, he called the friends he made recently for a small housewarming party. There wasn’t much. It was just Luhan and his boyfriend, Jongin and Kyungsoo. The five of them fit just nicely in his small apartment.

            They spent the night drinking cheap beer, eating fried chicken and spilling their heart out. By the end of the night, Jongin and Kyungsoo found solace in each other, Sehun and Luhan fell asleep next to each other on the floor and Yixing all alone on the cramped balcony, drinking and looking at the stars.

            Life has been good for Yixing. Almost.

+

            Junmyeon never knew what Yixing did to spend the time when he was at work. Just like how he never knew that Yixing was teaching at the dance studio not too far away from Junmyeon’s posh apartment.

            Yixing used to teach only on Mondays, but now no longer depending on Junmyeon, He needed to make a living on his own. Jongin, thankfully, like the generous and kind man he was, agreed to help him and offered to share the work for weekday classes except for Wednesdays and the night classes during the weekends as well saying, “I need a helping hand anyways”. Although Yixing suspected that Jongin needed the weekend night off to have a date with Kyungsoo.

            Sometimes, Yixing sees a familiar silhouette passing by through the glass walls that made him jump. But the thought of Junmyeon not knowing about him working here was a relief but other days, his delusions ran wild with Junmyeon bursting through the door and foolishly begging him to come back.

            “You know sometimes, I just can’t stand looking at you, hyung,” Jongin mused one day. They were having one of those breaks in between classes. Yixing was dancing alone with no music while Jongin sat on the floor and just looking. “You have this miserable look in your eyes but you’re trying so damn hard to be happy that it’s just plain painful for me to watch.”

            Yixing stopped dancing. He stood there, back facing Jongin, before finally taking a much deserved break and sat on the wooden floor. Jongin rolled one of the water bottles towards Yixing. Yixing caught it but never opened it. He just twiddled it between his hands while staring into space.

            Silence consumed the studio. They were both introvert individuals therefore they didn’t voice out their thoughts much. But these days, Jongin has been having these urge to really talk with his hyung because he felt like he was the only one who could at the moment.

            “I know.”

            From where he sat, he couldn’t see Yixing’s face but he didn’t need to because Yixing’s tone bared it all.

            “Move on, hyung. Start a new life. Don’t wait for him anymore.”

            And Yixing just hummed.

+

            Junmyeon trudged out of the hospital lifelessly. It has been three months and he still hasn’t given up looking for Yixing.

            He could never.

            Sometimes he sees a very familiar silhouette passing by from and to his apartment but when he looked around, everyone looked so unfamiliar. He was starting to believe that his mind was prone to hallucinating these days and that was bad.

            He rejected all his friends’ attempts on cheering him up. They never knew the reason anyway. They thought it was because of the breakup between him and Miyoung. It was Miyoung this and Miyoung that and Junmyeon was sick of it. He was grateful though that Miyoung never revealed the reason behind their estranged relationship.

            But he did receive the occasional glares from her. And he gratefully accepted it. He deserved it anyways.

            Jongdae was being a great friend these past months. He was the only one Junmyeon could trust in letting out his problems. And Jongdae has always been there to listen to his drunken rants and hysterical sobs.

            “I’m the best doctor in training. I have the money,” Junmyeon slurred which was getting louder and louder. “I have everything! I am on top of the world!” he screamed and then laughed like a lunatic. His pint sloshed dangerously in his grasp.

            Jongdae grabbed the pint from him in worry, afraid that it would spill to the dangerous looking guy that sat next to Junmyeon who was giving them both dirty looks. “Come on, Junmyeon-ah. Stop making a scene.” He smiled apologetically and bowed numerous times at the dangerous looking man. The man clicked and his tongue and turned his body away from there.

            “What do you mean, Jongdae-ah? I’m not making a scene. I’m Kim Junmyeon!” Junmyeon slapped his own chest so hard to proof himself. “I am Kim ing Junmyeon! I don’t make scenes. I am refined, cool-headed…” and then he burped loudly.

            Jongdae took that as a bad sign. “Oh my! Don’t you dare, Kim Junmyeon! Don’t you ing dare!” he immediately pulled Junmyeon out from his stool with whatever strength he could muster but alas It didn’t come to fruition as the latter threw up everything in his stomach onto the dangerous looking guy.

            The bar went completely silent.

            Junmyeon glanced up from his vomiting position and laughed at the sight before him. The dangerous looking man was covered in Junmyeon’s puke and was throwing daggers through his eyes. And Junmyeon thought this was all funny.

            Jongdae wished he could smack Junmyeon’s head upside down at that time.

            They both left the pub with black eyes and Jongdae carrying a passed out Junmyeon over his shoulder.

            For three months, these have gone on everytime their shift ends. But Jongdae never once complained as his dear friend was clearly still suffering.

            “Yixing ah…” and Junmyeon never fails to call that name out in his sleep. Jongdae couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

            Where are you Yixing? Jongdae thought out loud.

+

            People tend to exaggerated second meetings, making it sounded more anticlimactic. In reality, second meetings rarely occurred especially for people who used to and still make such a presence in one’s life. Even if it did, it wasn’t usually as climatic as it was made to be.

            For Junmyeon and Yixing, it was exactly like that.

            Junmyeon never rode a public transport ever in Seoul except during the first week of his arrival. Internally he was cursing the sunlight and Jongdae. The latter was his designated driver for mornings like this but that bastard bailed on him the last minute saying that he was taking the day off and Junmyeon was a big boy and could go himself. Junmyeon wished he could take a day off too but he used almost all of it to cope with the grief and finding Yixing.

And here he was riding a bus, still with that hangover from last night and he had ran out of aspirins which made him in one of his most terrible moods yet ever since Yixing’s disappearance. He couldn’t even open his eyes more than half as it already was.

            Technically, he was unfit to drive.

            So he was questioning his sanity when he spotted a familiar figure sitting way at the back of the bus he was on. But he was surely his sanity remained in check when those eyes stared right back at him with what could be shock, fear but relief at once.

            It probably showed on him as well – shock that something you greatly hoped for has happened, fear that it would just be an illusion and relief to be given a chance for a second meeting.

            Junmyeon regretted on not making an extra effort on his appearance this morning because Yixing looked stunning with black tees and loose jeans and a pair of ratty sneakers. He really hoped he didn’t smell like last night’s puke since he didn’t have the time to take a shower as he was in a rush himself.

            He definitely was sure that he looked disgusting. But that didn’t stop him from approaching Yixing with determination in his eyes. He annoyingly pushed other passengers out of his way and one of them even gave him some talking but Junmyeon ignored them all.

            Yixing’s eyes were as big as saucers when he saw Junmyeon was coming towards him.

            This never happened before. Yixing rode this bus for months and never once there was a sign of Kim Junmyeon. As far as he knew, Junmyeon never ride a public transport since he already owned a car.

            Truthfully he wanted to run, not wanting to hear what Junmyeon has to say especially after he had poured out his heart in a blue post-it. But more than that, he wanted to stay and hear Junmyeon’s voice and see how he has been doing. In Yixing’s eyes, Junmyeon looked like a man who hasn’t seen sunlight in days but still has the ability to make Yixing’s heart flutter crazily.

This is definitely ‘Sarang’.

            “Hi,” Junmyeon said first as he came near with a smile that reminded Yixing of the first lights he saw in Seoul.

            “Annyeong.”

+end+