Sehun’s hands turned into fists as he watched Baekhyun’s smug grin grow wider. The thing was – Baekhyun had not always been like this. Back in the days when they both felt like nobody in the world understood their misery, they had found comfort in each other. Back in the days when the light was first shed upon the both of them, they felt like they understood each other. Sehun even called Baekhyun hyung. Those were the firefly-catching days when they were still filled with dreams and hopes. It never left Sehun’s memory how Baekhyun would always tell stories about his future and dreams, about the day when he would become a veterinarian.

Baekhyun used to have an innocent way of loving.

Everyone thought that Baekhyun started changing when Sehun got appointed as the CEO of ROYELL. Everyone thought that Baekhyun felt wronged and therefore hated Sehun to the core. Sehun knew better than that. Sehun understood that Baekhyun had been slowly changing ever since the first time he got hit by his father when he spent his afternoons playing with abandoned animals instead of learning English. Sehun watched how Baekhyun got told that his wants and desires were wrong, that his hands were not meant to save wounded and sick animals but to built an empire of hotels. Sehun realized that Baekhyun had been gradually losing himself the moment his own father started favoring Sehun more than his own son.

That was what parental love could do to a child.

However, Sehun never wanted the day to come that they would start killing each other in the name of being true to oneself. Sehun never wanted the day to come for the two of them to stab each other with knives that were coated with poison. Baekhyun might not be good anymore, but he was never bad.

“General Manager Oh, do you mind telling us where you’ve been these couple of weeks?” Baekhyun asked firmly, gaze never wavering.

Sehun looked him in the eyes, finding nothing but darkness, before replying, “I was taking care of some personal matters-”

“I asked where you were, General Manager Oh,” Baekhyun spoke, harsh and clear.

“Byun Baekhyun, there’s absolutely no need for General Manager Oh to explain anything to you,” Kyungsoo threw out disapprovingly.

“I’m giving you one more chance, General Manager Oh,” Baekhyun spoke, completely unaffected by Kyungsoo’s harsh words, “think thoroughly before you answer.”

Sehun took a deep breath, eyes fluttering close for a split second, before he said, “Like Chanyeol must’ve told everyone already, I was in Japan.”

There was a victorious smirk appearing on Baekhyun’s face, eyes glistering as he opened the envelope and took out a photograph, “Then what’s this picture of you, taken approximately three weeks ago,” He threw it on the table, “in Incheon.”

The person in the picture might resemble Sehun, but he did not look like Sehun. His messy bangs were covering his eyebrows, his body was wrapped with a casual, baggy t-shirt and more importantly – this person was wearing a child-like smile that resembled the child of spring. The person in the picture looked like some youthful man from the countryside, free and with no care in the world. Most importantly though, was the way he was holding onto an unknown male’s hand, possessively firm but lovingly gentle. There was no holding back to be found in this picture, no sign of this person being forced to anything.

This person looked like he was in love.

“These pictures are authentic,” Baekhyun’s voice cut right through the tense air, “our beloved General Manager Oh has been in South Korea the whole time.”

Sehun felt his breath being stolen, and for a moment he did not know what to say. There was not anything to say, to be honest. Not when the person in that photograph was undoubtedly him, but he had no memory of it at all. And once again, there was that young man again, haunting him like a ghost. It was the same young man who he had seen on the hospital, unconscious and fragile. In the photograph, though, he seemed to shine. It was as if the person in the photograph was glowing, living, while the person on the hospital was dead, gone. It frightened him.

And it also scared him that he had not been in Japan. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had lied to him. Even his mother had joined them. He had been in Incheon, for some kind of reason that was completely unknown to him. He had been spending time with the person who was brought into the hospital with him. Somehow, he went to Incheon and then came back to Seoul. Somehow, all of this happened. Somehow, this was something that needed to be hidden. Somehow, his whole absence was covered with lies. And he did not understand why.

He eyed Kyungsoo, who only gave him an apologizing expression back.

“This isn’t-” Sehun started, but Kyungsoo was quick to cut him off.

“Do you think General Manager Oh would ever walk around looking like this? Obviously not. This person might look like Sehun,” Kyungsoo’s gaze wandered to the picture a little bit too long before he looked up, “but he definitely isn’t Sehun.”

“One picture isn’t evidence, of course,” Baekhyun grinned before turning the envelope around, a flood of photographs dropping on the table, “but this should be enough.”

There was no denying it. One picture could be seen as a joke, but there were like a hundred pictures scattered all on the table, each with Sehun on it. Even Sehun himself, who could not believe the person in the photograph was him, had to come to the conclusion that he was indeed that person in the picture. Even Sehun himself, who had no recollection of ever having spent his time in Incheon, with this unknown male, had to conclude that somehow, he had ended up there. Somehow, things turned out like this.

“What do you have to say, General Manager Oh?” Baekhyun asked, and Sehun could feel all eyes on him, “If this were to ever reach the public, our image would be gone. The image of the genius General Manager Oh would become one that depicts you as a heartless person who went off fooling around with some other guy, leaving your own fiancée in a cold house and ROYELL in the dust.”

Sehun slowly reached out for one of the pictures, burning silence enveloping all of them as he looked at it intently, before he said, “How did you get these?”

This caught Baekhyun off-guard, if the blinking of his eyes were any indication, “There’s no need to explain where I got this from, I believe. It’s more importantly that you give us a thorough explanation of your sudden departure.”

“What’s the meaning of this, General Manager Oh?” One of the older shareholders asked, his eyebrows furrowed in unpleasant surprise.

“I believe General Manager Oh must’ve had his own reasons,” Jongin said, picking up one of the pictures before throwing it down again, eyeing Sehun expectantly, “right?”

“Of course General Manager Oh does,” Chanyeol said before throwing Baekhyun a demanding glare, “Where did you get these pictures?”

“We’re not getting to the point, ladies and gentlemen,” Baekhyun said before walking towards the other side of the table, leaning towards Sehun as he spoke, “We all know that the Incheon project is our biggest project ever. We’re investing a frightening amount of money in this project. The expectations are high. We need one hundred percent certainty that this project will work out. However,” Baekhyun swiftly turned around, confidently walking around at the front, “it seems General Manager Oh has been interfering with our project. And we’re talking about serious interference.”

“What are you talking about?” Kyungsoo asked through gritted teeth.

“Our General Manager Oh,” Baekhyun said while pointing at Sehun, “has been interfering with our efforts to buy all the land. We’re supposed to buy all the land before the set deadline. General Manager Oh confidently promised that he would be able to settle it. However, not only did General Manager Oh disappear when he was most needed, he also has been helping the owner of U&KIM, one of the owners who had been refusing to sell their hostel, from going bankrupt. And that, General Manager Oh,” Baekhyun spoke, deadly close to Sehun’s ear, “wasn’t what you promised, was it? I don’t know your intentions, but obviously this isn’t the result you promised us. We can’t afford anything to go wrong, you should understand that by now.”

Sehun turned to look at Kyungsoo, who was looking down in defeat, before closing his eyes. This was not something he would do. Oh Sehun was not someone who would create such a mess his father would be disappointed of. Oh Sehun was not the kind of person who would go off somewhere, doing such a terrible thing towards Kyungsoo, and most importantly, to put ROYELL’s name on the line. His whole life, Sehun had been putting ROYELL on number one. His whole life, ROYELL had been his air.

How he ended up in Incheon, spending time with unknown people and interfering with ROYELL, was beyond him. There was a headache coming up, pressing right down on him and making him shiver. He loathed the fact that he had been doing things that he could no longer remember. It made his body go cold and his head explode with fire. Fire that rushed through his veins and made him numb.

“What’s your reason, General Manager Oh?” Another shareholder asked sternly.

Sehun opened his eyes, looking at every one of them before dropping his gaze at Baekhyun, “What do you want, Byun Baekhyun?”

Sehun was not stupid. Therefore, he knew that it was not what he had been doing behind the shareholders’ backs that mattered. Sehun could have been sleeping around with celebrities, gambling his money away like it was trash, and nobody would have said a thing. None of the shareholders, except for Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and maybe Jongin, would care about reckless behavior. What did matter was the fact that this was brought to daylight. In the end, it was all about the sake of ROYELL. If the public were to know that the CEO of ROYELL had disappeared for the sake of interfering with its own hotel chain, there would be chaos.

In other words, Oh Sehun was permitted to die, but it had to be in glory.

Oh Sehun was permitted to die because of recklessness, as long as the truth was buried with him in his grave.

An amused smirk grew on Baekhyun’s lips, “I want you gone, General Manager Oh.”

»

“We need to find out how he got those pictures,” Kyungsoo said angrily, “there’s no way Byun Baekhyun would’ve been the person to send someone after Sehun. He shouldn’t know where Sehun was.”

Sehun watched Chanyeol and Kyungsoo drowning in worry and panic. It made him feel sick, because this was not supposed to happen. Oh Sehun was not supposed to cause such uproar. Oh Sehun was meant to make the best decisions for ROYELL, never ever making a mistake. One mistake and everything was over.

Sehun had remained silent, trying his best to remember what had happened the past couple of weeks. However, whenever Sehun tried to think about it, there would only be blackness. Sehun could try to remember to the point his head would pound and hurt, but there would be no memories popping up in his mind. There would be nothing that could give him answers. It was as if he had spent a period of time dreaming, and now he could not remember anything anymore. It was a terrible feeling that bubbled in the pit of his stomach every single time he was reminded of the fact that he could not remember a part of his life.

“We can tell them that Sehun didn’t know what he was doing, that those people messed with his mind-”

“Kyungsoo, this is no movie!” Chanyeol said in frustration, “Who’s going to believe that those people brainwashed Sehun and that Sehun was there against his own will? Stay rational!”

“Then tell me what to do!” Kyungsoo yelled back, “Tell us what the best solution is! If we don’t come up with something fast, those shareholders are going to start flocking towards Byun Baekhyun’s side. Sehun’s position as the CEO is at stake right now-”

“Stop it,” Sehun said sternly, gaze glued to the view outside of the window, “both of you, stop it.”

“Sehun…” Kyungsoo said, all anger replaced by concern.

Sehun grinned a little, “I’ll figure something out.”

“But how…?” Kyungsoo asked softly, uncertain but always with a firm belief in Sehun.

“I’ll come up with something,” Sehun said, giving them a quick glance before looking outside the window again, “I don’t care what it takes, I’ll need to find out what happened. Even if it means going back to that place-”

“No!” Kyungsoo yelled, catching both Sehun’s and Chanyeol’s shocked attention.

Sehun blinked his eyes in surprise, “Why not?”

“There’s no need to go back to that place, Sehun,” Kyungsoo said firmly, his hands turning into fists, “we can figure this out. M-money, that’s all we need. All this time, they’ve been refusing to sell the hostel. But they’re in desperate need of money. There’s no way that hostel can survive long. We just need to give them enough money to start up a hostel somewhere else. We can tell the shareholders the owner of U&KIM misled you, that you did not know a thing-”

“I don’t lie, Kyungsoo,” Sehun replied with determination.

“This isn’t the moment to say that, Sehun-”

Sehun eyed him with disapproval, “As I said, I don’t lie. You guys were the one who told them I was in Japan, when I clearly wasn’t. Worse, you two even lied to me,” A sad grin danced on his lips, “I can’t believe you two lied to me.”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows knitted together as he slowly approached Sehun, “Did you think we wanted to lie?” A tinge of sadness was laced around his voice, “We found you in the hospital, Sehun, because of a car accident. We don’t even know how you ended up in a car accident, and you didn’t remember anything too. What did you want us to do? You were gone for weeks and now you’re back but you don’t remember anything. Are we supposed to tell them that? Are we?”

Sehun felt the anger growing inside of him, “Don’t come up with excuses.”

“What?” Kyungsoo laughed out, the indignation clearly painted on his face, “Sehun, you probably don’t understand just how serious-”

“I don’t like to have people decide for me,” Sehun simply said, “you should know that by now.”

“Sehun,” Chanyeol spoke out, eyeing the two of them warily, “you know that Kyungsoo only wanted the best for you, for ROYELL. We all want what’s best for ROYELL. We don’t know how you ended up in Incheon, and what happened, but we can’t change anything that has happened. Right now we need to stay calm and come up with a solution. We need to satisfy the other shareholders with a decent story. I know you don’t like to lie, and I’m not telling you to lie, but just-” Chanyeol sighed deeply, “just understand that we’re being driven into a corner.”

Sehun took a deep breath, “I need time.”

»

Lu Han stared at the ceiling, feeling like he was drained from all his energy but never tired enough to sleep. He could not sleep. There was no way he could sleep. There was simply too much pain, too much hurt and it kept him awake. In a way, it was the only thing that kept him alive. The pain made him realize that he was still alive, the hurt remembered him that this was not a dream.

Knowing that Shixun was alright should have been enough. He had been so happy when he saw him on the front cover of the newspaper the nurse had showed him, so immensely glad that Shixun was alright. That was enough, he thought. It should have been enough.

But then the missing started, the intense longing to see Shixun. He felt horribly broken and he needed Shixun by his side so badly. It was not healthy how much he longed for Shixun, he understood that. It was not functional. The reason why it was dysfunctional was because Shixun would not come anymore. Shixun would not be there to hold him tight, embrace him and tell him that everything would be alright. Shixun was already Sehun, and Sehun had his own life to live. Lu Han understood that. Minseok did not show him any newspaper or magazine, because he did not want Lu Han to know reality.

But Lu Han knew.

Lu Han never thought it would be easy to forget Shixun. He never ever thought he would be able to let go of Shixun easily. Shixun meant too much for him to ever do that. He just never thought it would be this hard. He did not know Shixun’s face would haunt him in his dreams and Shixun’s voice would haunt him when daylight hit his face. He had not expected for Shixun’s absence to create such hollowness inside of him, making him feel lost and empty and incomplete. Lu Han thought that he would be stronger than this. He thought that Shixun’s well-being was all that mattered.

But he was a selfish person at heart too, it seemed.

There was a tear threatening to roll down his cheek, but Lu Han was determined to keep it in. Nobody needed to know what he felt, what he wanted and how selfish he was. Nobody needed to know how he longed so much for someone that was never his. Nobody needed to know that he wanted more than he could ever get, more than was ever meant to be given to him.

He had borrowed a lover, and it was already time to return him.

The sound of footsteps was the only thing that could pull him out of his misery right now, loud sounds created by the meeting of solidness and confidence. They seemed to get closer and closer, and when Lu Han held his breath, he could slowly sense that it was coming his way. The sound was distinctive and unfamiliar to Lu Han, a combination of sound waves that made Lu Han feel nervous.

The curtains were softly opened, revealing someone he had seen before, but never expected to ever see again. He was dressed in chic black, with a long coat and woolen scarf. His hair was gelled up to perfection, his charming eyes opened wide and his height making him seem dominant. It was not an unpleasant sight, just slightly breathtaking, like the first time he saw Shixun.

“You…” Lu Han said, eyes widening in shock.

The young man smiled in a surprisingly gentle manner, so unlike the person he had been with back then, “I’m sorry for disturbing you, Lu Han-sshi.”

“You’re… You know Shixun,” Lu Han managed to say.

The man blinked his eyes, “Shixun?” It took a moment before it daunted to him who Lu Han had meant, “I remember now, that’s how you call Sehun.”

“I-Is he alright?” Lu Han asked, desperately wanting to know more about Shixun.

“Don’t worry, he’s alright,” The other said in his pleasant, low voice, “You do care about him, don’t you?”

“I d-do!” Lu Han answered immediately, before he realized to whom he was talking to again, “N-No, I mean-”

“Back then at the hostel, Sehun’s behavior already revealed how much he cared about you, and your behavior showed how much you cared about Sehun,” The tall male said, “I just need to know one thing. I want you to be honest with me, Lu Han-sshi.”

Lu Han looked the other in the eyes for a moment, drowning in the other’s seriousness, before nodding his head slowly, “Alright.”

“Tell me how Sehun ended up in Incheon,” Was all the other said.

It was like a bucket of ice water was thrown at Lu Han. There were too many lies that were piled up on top of the truth. The truth was hidden somewhere nobody could even reach anymore. At one point, even Lu Han lost access to it. At one point, even Lu Han believed in his own created lies as if it was the only truth on earth. As if the real truth was nonexistent.

“Kyungsoo believes you all kept Sehun captive, manipulated Sehun, made him lose his memories as the CEO and become someone completely else,” Chanyeol chuckled a little at his good friend’s ideas, “but it would take more than merely want to create such a mess deliberately. Back then, I saw a Sehun I had never seen before in all my years of knowing him. Back then, I saw a Sehun who didn’t care about anything, as long as he could stay with you. You can’t force Sehun to act like that, you could never force him to behave like that,” Chanyeol sat down on the bed, his head nodding in amazement, “you need to reach Sehun.”

“Why are you asking me?” Lu Han said softly, the words the tall male just said slowly seeping into his mind and reaching his consciousness.

There was a flash of sympathy before the other said, “Sehun doesn’t remember anything of his time spent in Incheon.”

If Lu Han had been able to keep in his tears before he heard this, he certainly was not able to stop himself from crying after hearing this. It was one thing to be left behind. It was one thing to be all alone again, missing the other like a child missed its parent. That was one thing. It was a whole other thing to be forgotten. It was a whole other thing to be told that the person you loved had forgotten about you. It was a whole other thing to be cruelly forgotten, coldly erased from your beloved’s mind.

Being forgotten was like having never existed. Being forgotten was like you never appeared. Being forgotten was like a slap on Lu Han’s face, telling him that Shixun was indeed someone he could never hold onto. Shixun was not his. Shixun could never be his. Lu Han was able to deal with being left behind, being abandoned, but he was not able to deal with being forgotten. Lu Han was not able to deal with being nothing but darkness to Shixun.

“He forgot about me…” Was all Lu Han managed to speak out, his own words reaching him like little knives, “He doesn’t remember me…”

He was shaking, trembling like he was suffering a terrible cold, and there was no stopping it. He had no control over his body or mind at that moment. It was already an achievement for him right now that he still knew how to breathe. It was already an achievement for him right now that he still knew how to keep himself together. Nobody could ever expect him to do any better than that.

“I’m sorry,” The handsome male said, and in Lu Han’s clouded mind it sounded somewhat sincere.

Lu Han shook his head heavily, “D-Don’t…”

“Please calm down,” The tall male said, concern slowly growing as he watched Lu Han break apart, “Lu Han-sshi, please-”

“I-It was me…”

It took a lot of courage for Lu Han to say those three words. It took a lot of courage that Lu Han never thought he had. However, at that moment, nothing really seemed to matter anymore. Lu Han was tired. He was tired of lying and covering lies with even more lies. He was tired of pretending and hiding. There was no need to anymore either. Shixun already forgot about him. Their promises, their times spent together. It was all forgotten already. Now the same memories that had been holding Lu Han together was breaking him apart.

“What do you mean?” Chanyeol asked with flickering eyes.

Lu Han tasted the saltiness of his own tears, and lost his mind completely at the remembrance of Shixun’s coffee with salt, “I-I was the one who h-hit him with… With my c-car…” He sobbed loudly, “I m-made him forget… It was m-my fault… It was me…”

So lost he was in his self-blame and hopelessness, that he did not see the sympathizing look the taller male was giving him. So deep he fell in his misery and sadness, that he did not realize that there was someone standing on the other side of the curtain, clenching onto the sickly white material way too forcefully. And this someone who had heard enough, did not understand why he felt hurt as he listened to Lu Han’s cries.