02
Regretless
The day of our comeback with Growl was near.Those days we all were really working hard, we used arrive to the premises of the company early in the morning and practiced to 9 hours per day, some even more.
We were at the stage where the 12 of us had to practice the choreography together,doing and repeating each step over and over, so many times that ended up losing the count, till reach a coordination almost perfect , stopping only for lunch or in short breaks.
I was coming from luch with sehun wen we met with Chanyeol and baekhyun out of the practice room, in the hallway. As always they were playing, talking and laughing loud.
- You two! What are you doing? Stop losing time and just go inside ! - I yelled at they joking.
-But hyung! - Baek reproached-We don't want to interrupt to Lay hyung- he said smiling suspiciously like.
I had no idea of what he was talking about but approached to the door of the room and looked inside with curiosity.
Wasn't much to see, really. There was Yixing with one of the trainees of the company, Irene, but they weren't doing anything. Well, yes, they were doing a kind of choreography in front of the mirror, seemed like yixing was helping her with some moves but that was all.
-Yha! What are you saying? - I hit to Baek softly while smiling - They are just dancing!
Chanyeol turned to me quickly.
-Oh! You don't know? - Asked looking at me with surprise - They has been going to dates recently, is possible that hyung didn't told you so?
My smile froze while I was understanding his words.
No, I didn't know. No, he didn't told me - a voice spoke in my head.
I looked back at yixing, who now was smiling at the girl and strangely everything seemed to become slower and silent, like in slowmotion. I could appreciate every move he made, even the movement of his lips, whispering words that I couldn't hear. I saw him stretch his arm to touch her hair, slow, slow, very slowly...
-Hyung...hyung - heard someone calling and shaking me gently.
-Yes? -I turned and found Sehun, who was looking at me amused.
-You were spacing - said laughing.
- Hyung, what are you doing standing there? You're Blocking the entry -Chen spoke behind him.
- Yes, move. Some of us want to enter - as always , tao.
- Ah? humm yeah, I'm sorry - I said still disoriented.
Really I had been spacing without noticing anything, even the arrival of the other members?
As soon as we all were back in the room, retake the practice and the atmosphere changed quickly, becoming in one of work, with few jokes or laughs. Is not like we don't enjoy what we do but we take it seriously.
During the rest of the day, because we were busy and I had to concentrate on the choreography, I could keep my thoughts about yixing away.But at night, when we returned to the apartment and everything was calm, I began to feel more and more anxious.
I had to talk to him; I wanted him to tell me that it meant nothing. I needed heard him say that it was nothing.
As soon as we finished dinner went to the dorm and lay in bed . Take a book, trying to distract myself while waiting for him to arrive. I sat up quickly when heard him entering to the room.
- Tiring day, hu? - I said casually.
- don't even say . I just want to rest and sleep until tomorrow.
He began to arrange his bed. I wanted to wait for him to finish so we could talk properly but was taking too long.
-Yixing, what are you doing? - I inevitably let out , unable to retain it.
- What do you mean?
- With that rookie, what are you doing?- I asked in a sadder tone that I would have liked.
He stopped all what was doing , clearly was not expecting that question.. He turned slowly and I could see he was frowning, as if were thinking about it seriously. sat on his bed in front of me and looked at me with intensity.
- I don't know for sure. Get a girlfriend, maybe - Said softly.
But even if he said it soft, the impact on me was the same. The sudden sensation of cold, the pain, the tightness in the chest like as if someone were squeezing it , breathing becoming more difficult.
I wanted to keep his gaze but couldn't and ended up looking away, at some point in the floor.
- I thought that you ... - I began to say weakly - that you ... - I tried to continue but even say something seemed difficult in that moment.
And so we remained silent, wrapped in an awkward silence, not knowing what to say, waiting for the other to speak first.
-It's confusing -he said after a few minutes
- What is it?
-You. You confuse me, you play with me.
- What? - I Stuck my eyes on him, unable to believe what I was hearing - how can you say
- You like to play Luhan! - Interrupted me - you come to me, saying sweet things, acting cute,you hug me, you ... you make me feel. -he made a pause - and it hurts. When you go to the other members and act the same, hurts.
- Is not the same - I said distressingly, feeling how the tightness in my chest was increasing.
- It is! With Sehun with Xiumin with Kai
-IS NOT THE SAME! IS NOT!! - I repeated energetically - It's different. With you is different.I told you it back then, with you everything is, everything feels different - I said almost pleadingly, trying to make him understand.
But he began to move his head, denying.
- That was more than a year ago Luhan! - Said looking at me with sadness - I don't know it anymore, I really don't know.
It hurt. I wanted to fight for him, but not against him.
Even if it was a long time ago, I still feel the same.I wanted to say but I didn't. Would it have made any difference? probably not. Not when he was this decided.
-I see. It's okay then, do what you want Yixing - I said getting up and leaving the room without looking at him even once.
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I'm very grateful and happy for all subscriptions and positive votes, I really am ... but ... but, you don't leave any comments? why? wae? you are so mean XD.
really girls, even if they like this story or not, comments are important for an author.
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