You broke a promise
What Do I Mean to You Anymore?
~3rd Person POV~
Jaejoong grunted as he walked up their grand staircase, half asleep. He practically growled when his men had asked him a question. All he wanted to do was to get to bed and sleep. rustles in their bedroom in the dark. He s the top 3 buttons of his shirt and plops onto the bed to sleep for the rest of the night, or at least what was left of the night.
"Jaejoong," he hears you and feels a push on his back. "Jaejoong, you're lying on my hand." He grunts and moves off of you hand. He pulls the covers over his body and mumbles. "Rough day?" You ask nicely. He doesn't reply. You rests your hand on his shoulder gently, "Oh... wait, Jae, can I... umm... sleep next to you?"
He opens one eye to look at you. "What kind of stupid question is that?" He brusquely asked. But he motions you closer and you snuggle up to his body like a child. He rests his arm around you, "Why did you have to ask?"
"Because you're not the same anymore." You frown even though he probably could not see your expression in the dark.
"Wha? I'm not the same anymore? Why do you say that?" He mumbles but you could still understand him.
"Because you forgot my birthday was today." Your eyes clench shut. Jaejoong's eyes shot open and sits up, startling you. Now he cared?
"____-ah..." He calls out your name.
"No. Don't." You frowns and turns around, burying yourself in the covers of their bed. "I can't believe you. Thanks for breaking the one promise that you knew was special to me!"
"Ayish, _____-ah, just listen to me. I'm...."
"Just because you're the big mafia boss now, you can't even say a simple sorry without thinking about your reputation."
"_____-ah, that's not true. Look, I'm sorry okay?" He pulls on your shoulder to turn around but you stubbornly resist.
"That's not the only thing Jaejoong!" You shout. "You've been forgetting I'm even here sometimes!"
"I'm sorry I make mistakes. I barely know what day it is half of the year. I swear if I wasn't so caught up..." He sees your back facing towards him and knew that his explanation wasn't enough.
"I hope you still remember that I'm twice as deadly as you." You mutter to him.
This time he snuggles up close behind you, and nuzzles you neck, "I never forget. That's why you're my girl."
"Yup, that's pretty much the only reason why." It was the first time in history that a female was the most deadliest in the mafia. But in the end, you still chose to let Jaejoong be the head of the Jung Mafia. Even if it was your family name, you were okay with just being Jaejoong's wife, but you were always recognized as the real secret underground boss of the mafia. "Cut it out," you elbow him. Does he still even remember your wedding anniversary anymore? Or the day you two first made love? But as the years went by, 'making love' just turned into rough that was a stress reliever to Jaejoong.
"____-ah, I'm sorry." His muscular arms hug you tightly from behind and he plants kisses on your shoulders and neck. Sometimes he was sweet, sometimes he was rough. There was always two sides to him. You clench your eyes, you wished the tingly feeling he gave you would go away. But year, after year you were together it never went away.
"8 years ago, when it was the first year we met, you promised to never miss a birthday..." You start to think about a young 16 year old Jaejoong when he was first adopted into the mafia. He showed so much potential, your family nurtured him and raised him.
----------FLASH BACK----------
"Don't beat yourself up over Sensei's comments." Jaejoong is panting on the floor as you wipe your blades with a red cloth. "You're never going to be a Jung." You spats at him. You made it no secret that you hated him for intruding into her family and was especially angered by the talks of Jaejoong being the future leader of the mafia.
Jaejoong chuckles, "Thanks, tell me what you really think of me" he says sarcastically. "I'm not saying I want to be Jung. Why would I want to be a part of a family where their dear princess is a spoiled brat!"
You glare and drop your cloth in outrage. "I'm just better, smarter and faster than you. You just can't handle that."
Jaejoong smirks, "I'm a male that your family took in because they saw my skill and potential. You can't handle that either."
"Ugh! I can't stand you!" You shout.
"You can't stand me?! I can't stand you! Jung ____, the princess this, the princess that! UGH!" He grumbles in your face. "I feel so bad for your future husband because you're going to drive him nuts!"
"Same goes for you and your future wife! You know, because of YOU" you poke his chest, "the family is all about 'wow Jaejoong's progress is incredible, let's teach him this next, we have to do this' blah blah blah! They didn't even remember their only child's birthday!" You yell at him and sits back down with your head in hands.
Jaejoong stays silent, "I-It's your birthday _____-ah?"
"Yes it is captain obvious," you roll your eyes. "It's the one day my parents were ever kind to me. It's nice to feel like an actual child than just a pawn in the mafia." You wipe the tear from your eye.
He's taken aback by your confession. This time he feels something he's never felt before, guilt. He then realized that he really was hurting you even though he never meant to. This is the first time he ever felt like he had some kind of family, but he didn't want to feel like he was kicking anyone out from one. "I didn't know. Look, I'm sorry. I've never really celebrated my birthday before actually. Remember, I was an orphan?"
"Wow, I guess I really am I spoiled brat huh?" You scoff at herself.
He sits down next to you, "A little." You both smile at each other. "But it's because I don't like celebrating my birthday. I'd rather celebrate someone else's actually. I was never invited to a birthday party."
You smile, "Me neither." You see Jaejoong grin also. They awkwardly sat down next to each other in silence. Jaejoong picks up the cloth you threw to the ground and picked it up for you. He started to wiped his own blade. You placed your hand on his and grabbed the cloth from him and wiped the sweat off of his head. "You know Jaejoong, if continue being nice to me, I could see slowly see you a part of us."
"Well, I can't show emotion in front of everyone else because I have to be the future, heartless guard." He nudges you, "but only to you, I'll be nice."
"Thanks Jaejoong-ah. I guess I am a bit too harsh on you. But did I hear you say 'guard'? Don't they want you to be the leader?"
He shakes his head, "How could I be the leader? I'm not a Jung."
"But I heard them speak..."
"Heard them speak about how they would change the rules around for you? Why do you think they put us together so much? They want me run the mafia to protect you." He tells you and he suddenly feels you leaning your head on his knee.
"If you're really correct, you don't know how much of relief that is to hear." You stop leaning on him, "I'm sorry about that, I know you don't like contact with me." You think about that time when you tried to wipe the sweat off his forehead to be nice but he rudely walked away from you.
"No it's okay actually. For you, it's okay." Jaejoong touches your hand, "Truce?"
"Truce," you smile at him.
"Since I love celebrating other people's birthdays, how about we celebrate our new found alliance." Jaejoong gets up and extends his hand for you to grab.
"What do you mean?" You look up at him.
"Get up. This is one of the few times I'm going to show some genuine emotion to you, might as well take me up on my offer."
You grin, "Okay." You grab his hand and he pulls you up, but he doesn't let go of your hand.
"I promise to always celebrate your birthday, _____." His angelic face gleamed even more when he smiled. This was the face of a young, happy Jaejoong. Something you would never forget.
-------------END FLASHBACK-----------------
"Okay okay, I get it, I messed up today. But you know what happened today, we just needed to take down a gang that was getting out of hand. Had to keep the mafia running you know?" Jaejoong's voice brought you back to the present and you frown at hearing the great difference from a teenage Jaejoong. "That's just how it is now."
She rolls her eyes at him.
"Come on, I'll make it up to you later. Just not right now, I'm tired okay?" His words finally made you snap.
You turn around to face him. "You can't just keep doing this to me Jae! Sometimes I don't even know who you are! Some days you're just nice to me because you want and some days you don't even notice what a complete you are to me! And what do I do? I ignore it because I STILL LOVE YOU! But I don't even think you can say the same for me anymore."
"Come on _____-ah." That was all he could say as he tried to reach his hand out to you.
"Just stop Jaejoong. You don't have to say anything anymore. Just go to sleep already Jaejoong" you snap at him and tried to fall asleep. "I-I don't even know what I mean to you anymore."
"Yeobo..." he nudged you. "What's been bothering you lately? Usually you're so compliant."
"Compliant?!" you snaps. "You want me to be compliant?! Follow your every instruction?! Wait for you at home?! That's it! I miss the old you! There I said it! I miss the man that would pick a flower for me whenever he traveled out of the country. I miss the man that gave me a kiss goodnight. I miss the man that promised me a normal marriage and life together as much as possible. THAT Jaejoong loved me. Now this Jaejoong is probably fcking some other girl in Japan." You spat at him and grabbed your robe from the closet.
"What?" Jaejoong stops you. "Come on, what are you talking about? Stop it. Stop where are you going?" He tugs on your robe but you yank your robe out of his hands. "Look why don't you just cool down? You're talking nonsense right now."
"Yeah I'll go ahead and calm down. While I'm at it, I'm going to brainwash myself so I can forget that I EVER saw these pictures!" From your pocket, you pull out several high quality pictures of Jaejoong and some other other woman kissing and checking into a hotel in Japan and shoved it to his chest. "Never cheated on me before huh?"
"H-how did you--?" He stammers and stares at the pictures. Before you could run out of the room, he grabbed onto your wrist. "Yeobo please, it meant nothing! This girl, she means nothing!"
"I know who she is. Janet Yang of the yakuza. Yeah sure it was for business, but I've just been never been so disappointed in you in my entire life Jaejoong." The tears were now streaming down your face and as much as you tried to pull away, Jaejoong gripped onto you tightly.
"I can't help it! This business changes people! BUT THE ONLY REASON WHY I'VE BEEN DOING THIS WAS FOR YOU!" He yells loudly at you. "I have to run the mafia because I want to protect YOU! Who do I want to make proud? YOU. I want to make you proud enough to call me your husband. I'm sorry I make mistakes but you think I don't know that the things I do hurt you?! We're NOT normal Jung _____-ah. We're just not." He shakes your shoulders and stares deeply into your teary eyes. "Please _____-ah, I still love you."
He leans in to kiss you but you turn your head away. "Just don't Jaejoong." He grips onto you tighter and forcefully hugs you. He kisses your tears away but he was hugging you so tightly, you could feel the air squeeze out of your lungs. "J-jae.." you tried to breathe out.
Jaejoong realized his strength and released you. You dropped to the floor, gasping for air. He tried to help you out but you twisted his arm. "Don't. Touch. Me. Don't. Even. Follow. Me." You shake your head at him and make your way out of the door, slamming it behind you.
With the tables turned, Jaejoong was the one now feeling the ache in his heart. Secretly, he was hoping you would forget about it the next day. But in reality, he knew the chances of you forgiving him was slim. He then tried to think about the last time he made you smile. His brain started to ache, it was too long ago. All he could remember was a faint image of you actually smiling. But he knew he remembered the warmness he felt. Well sort of. What once felt like a soothing warm feeling, started to feel like a faint flame.
And with that image in his head, he snuck back into bed and tried his best to fall asleep in the cold night.
.
.
.
Jaejoong's eyes shot open. "I can't sleep." He gets up from the bed and runs to find you. "____-ah!" He yells as he runs down the hallways. He knew exactly where to find you. He planned on finding you in one of your secret hiding places and would sweep you off his feet. He'd ask you to marry him again, because no matter what, he knew he loved you back.
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