Jongin pushes his sunglasses up his nose when another officer rounds the booth where Mona Lisa resides for the fifth time since he entered the museum. They are most certainly over-reacting. Who guards a painting on a minute basis?

 

Well holy Mona Lisa (but Mona Lisa is probably not holy, right?), he thinks grimly, this is his fault anyway. He whistles the tune of ‘Need You Tonight’ by Yass and takes out his iPhone, taking a picture of some random painting he has no interest in.

 

He continues to look around the place in pursuit of the dark-haired boy with the brightest smile and reddest lips ever. But he’s been here since the opening of the museum and it’s now five minutes before 12 and there’s still no sign of the most important treasure he’s been looking for.

 

His stomach growls in protest so loud that the other tourists shoot him an incredulous look. He slaps his stomach and glares at it for embarrassing him.

 

If you would ask the visitors who had been touring the museum since this morning, Jongin would look like a regular aesthetic enthusiast stalking the paintings; but if you would ask the employees on duty, they would say he looks like an observer for an upcoming robbery of paintings.

 

He didn’t even need to do such things when he’s really going to steal something.

 

The troubled male doesn’t even notice the time as it passes by. The next thing he knows, the guard is already asking him to leave the museum because it’s closing time.

 

He still hasn’t seen his treasure.

 

-

 

“You believe that ,” Sehun snickers over the line, the sound bordering between a choking ape and a burping whale. Jongin resists the urge to voice out such comments.

 

“Well, you’re the one who gave me that idea!” Jongin counters, puffing his cheeks in annoyance even though Sehun is not there to get annoyed at the ugly sight.

 

He hears another set of cackles from Sehun. “I was ing with you, dude!”

 

Jongin grumbles and kicks the post of his bed. “Come on, I really need to see Baekhyun again!”

 

“So you’re telling me you ed the job up for your little prince charming that only exists in the vivid pigment of your y imagination?!”

 

Jongin does not say anything.

“No offense Jongin, but among all your weirdness tendencies, this is the worst. Like Jongin the weird getting weirder? End of the world, bro. End of the world.” He makes loud tsk tsk sound and Jongin knows he’s got his mouth on the speaker just to produce that kind of annoying sound. He makes a mental note of thanking him for his effort once he’s not pissed anymore.

 

“I told you, he guards those paintings and I need to know where to find him. Who knows, we may be able to get the Mona Lisa back after all.” He tries to convince Sehun with sheer willpower and that determined voice of his. He can already imagine Sehun shaking his head in disbelief.

 

“Jongin that was a myth. Like how Zeus is not the god of heavens, or how Harry Potter is just a fictional character, or how Edward Cullen is nonexistent, or how the Bermuda Triangle—”

 

“Okay,” Jongin cuts him off, seething. “If you don’t want to help me then fine. But don’t you lay a hand on my treasure when I take him home.”

 

“As if—”

 

He ends the call before Sehun could spit nonsense to him.

 

-

Jongin really thinks he’s the brightest kid among all the brightest kids that because he is too smart, they decided to incapacitate him and hide his abilities inside a box.

 

There’s this thing called internet that could have saved him all the trouble of hearing Sehun’s mouth full of and he was only able to reach inside this box of his smart capabilities now after he triggered the alarm of needing to use his brain.

 

He eyes the Google results like a hawk, clicking that article from Wikipedia. Because Wikipedia is reliable, right?

 

The Louvre Guardian is a spirit hidden inside a painting to guard the historical objects the museum contains. It only appears when it senses the disappearance of an item... [See More]

 

He reads through the whole article (it is the longest thing he has ever read since he was born, which actually contains 988 words) and closes his laptop with a triumphant creepy grin on his face.

 

He’s smells treasure coming his way.

 

-

 

And because Jongin’s out-of-the-world capabilities are locked inside a box and thrown somewhere on the outer space, he finds himself crouched down inside one of the cabinets in the reception table because the guards are now doing a thorough job of checking the place for any signs of intruders.

 

His legs hurt and it feels like his neck is going to break in half but he wills himself to shrink smaller because if he as much as yawns, he’s sure that he’s going to roll off the cabinet and be discovered.

 

He instead turns to count sheep to distract himself from the searing pain on his back and the cracking joints of his body. Which is obviously a bad idea because a minute later, he’s dozing off, his head lolling to the side and threatening to throw the cabinet doors open. Thankfully, the gods still took pity on him because he woke up a breath away when his head is about to land on the wood.

 

He just thinks of all the nice things he will do to  Baekhyun. The list includes

 

Kissing Baekhyun French-kissing Baekhyun Torrid kissing Baekhyun Taking Baekhyun out on a date Kissing Baekhyun while they eat Holding Baekhyun’s hand and kissing his fingers Going to the Eiffel Tower without breaking the kiss ing Baekhyun on the Eiffel Tower Kissing Baekhyun while ing him [See More]

 

[Proceed with caution: may contain disturbing materials courtesy of Kim Jongin’s erted brain. Parental Guidance is advised.]

 

And it works! Because after about an hour of having erted thoughts about the spirit of the museum, the guards had finally retired for the night, leaving the museum empty. He tiptoes towards the nearest item and grabs a black bag in his pocket. He hears someone whistle behind him.

 

 

“Here to steal another painting?”

 

Jongin turns around with a goofy smile on his face, knowing too well the owner of that voice. He smirks. “No, I’m here to take back what is rightfully mine.”

 

Baekhyun tilts his head, lips curving into his beautiful smile. “Hmm. And what is that?”

 

Without a second thought, Jongin answers, “You.”

 

“....” Baekhyun looks at him with something like wonder and disbelief.

 

“I’m not sure if you’re a ‘who’ or ‘what’ but I’ll be able to find out soon enough,” Jongin continues, taking a step forward towards the spirit. Baekhyun’s pretty mouth slightly parts.

 

Jongin takes another bold step forward and presses his plump lips on Baekhyun’s parted ones lightly. He hears the smaller boy sigh into his mouth. He takes that as his cue to deepen the kiss, holding the back of Baekhyun’s head to push it towards him. Baekhyun clutches on his shirt, tiptoes on his feet, and puts an arm around his neck.

 

Baekhyun tastes sweeter than the first time. And the kiss is also better, a little less sloppy and unhurried. Jongin knows Baekhyun’s sweet spots too, so he and on his tongue and glides his own tongue on row of his front teeth just the way Baekhyun likes it. It earns him a loud, sinful moan from the boy.

 

Baekhyun pulls back when he starts losing his breath. He stares at Jongin with wide eyes because dammit, he was not able to control himself again.

 

“You’re cute you know,” Baekhyun breathes, cheeks still flushed pink. “But you’re pretty stupid.”

 

Jongin grins like the idiot Baekhyun believes him to be, undisturbed about the nasty comment. “Does that mean I finally get to take you home?”

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes and shakes his head in incredulity. “I can’t,” he says, and Jongin notes a tinge of regret in his voice. “I guard this museum for someone like you, you know?”

 

“For cute guys?”

 

“No! For thieves!” Baekhyun splutters, pink cheeks turning a shade darker. He looks away and sits on the edge of the stairs towards The Raft of the Medusa painting. Jongin follows after.

 

“But I’m not, like, about to steal something. I did that on purpose so you would come out,” Jongin desperately explains, hands doing various motions to get his point across. Baekhyun laughs at him. “I know.”

 

“But you like me?” Jongin smartly asks, eyes intent on Baekhyun’s lips. To his surprise (and delight), Baekhyun leans in and presses a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Yeah.”

 

“Do you always kiss thieves to distract them? Because if you do, I’m ready to slice their lips off.”

 

Baekhyun laughs and the sound travels from Jongin’s ears to his heart. “No,” he answers, still laughing. “Only the cute ones.”

 

Jongin frowns. “How many cute thieves had you come across with?”

 

Baekhyun gives him a sly smirk. “Only one so far,”

 

Jongin raises an eyebrow.

 

“And a stupid one to boot.”

 

Jongin’s mouth forms into an O. And then he’s grinning like a happy puppy, leaning in again to capture Baekhyun’s mouth into a kiss. The spirit, however, pushes him off. “But that doesn’t mean I can come with you just because I like you.”

 

Jongin deflates like a hot air balloon used as a darting board. “Why not?” He whines, pouting and rounding his eyes in an attempt to look cuter. Baekhyun winces at the sight.

 

“Obviously because this is where I live, I have to guard the items around here.” Baekhyun says, exasperated.

Jongin blinks at him. “But there are guards—”

 

“The guards are useless.” Baekhyun cuts him off, voice stern. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to steal the Mona Lisa.”

 

Jongin shrinks on himself a little deeper. “But you can’t live here forever!”

 

“Sure I can,” Baekhyun says, looking around the museum with fondness in his eyes. “I lived here for 200 years already. If I leave this place, I would lose my immortality because I won’t be a guardian anymore.”

 

Jongin stares at him with sad eyes. “Does your immortality mean that much to you?”

 

Baekhyun gives him an equally sad smile. “No,” he says slowly. “But the items here mean so much to me. I don’t want anyone taking them. Even if I already want to rest, because I’m so damned bored, I can’t.”

 

Jongin nods in understanding. “So, you just like, need someone to make sure the items are not stolen, right?”

 

Baekhyun frowns at him. “Yes?”

 

“Alright!” Jongin jumps and pumps a fist in the air. “I just need to find a spirit who will ­replace you as a guardian then.”

 

Baekhyun facepalms. Cute but stupid, he thinks grimly. “It’s not that easy you know,”

 

“Each spirit is designated to a specific place. We were not made randomly.”

 

“But I can like, find another painting with a spirit inside and ask it to guard Louvre,” Jongin argues, determined and unyielding. The corner of Baekhyun’s mouth turns upward. “Suit yourself.”

 

“I’m going to bring them to you, okay?” Jongin turns to him and pecks him on the lips. “Wait for me babe.”

 

“B-b-bb-babe?!” Baekhyun chokes on his own tongue, showering Jongin’s face with saliva who just grins.

 

“Yes, we’re boyfriends now and I am your prince who’s willing to fight for our love.”

 

Baekhyun swears he never felt so hot in his life before. Spirits don’t experience fever, right?”

 

-

 

Sehun watches Jongin rummage through his storage room in irritation.

 

“What exactly are you looking for, stupid?” He grumbles, trying to put the scattered things back into place. A lost cause because later on, Jongin just dugs through those things and makes a pile of mess out of the items again.

 

“I need all the stealing materials I could get.” Jongin answers half-heartedly, his whole attention his itinerary.

 

Sehun gives a low whistle. “If you told me that before