Thursday morning Xiumin woke up to the familiar sound of his alarm clock, but he felt lighter than usual. Why am I so happy this morning, Xiumin pondered as he woke up his family. The reality of why he was in such a chipper mood came to him as he was scooping scrambled eggs out onto plates, Chen. Today I’m going to be hanging out with Chen, he thinks with a smile plastered on his face.

After hurriedly stuffing the eggs into his mouth, Xiumin rinsed his plate and then climbed back up the stairs just as his mother was making her way down them.

“Done eating already” she questioned when she spotted him.

“Yep” Xiumin responded happily, “I just made some eggs this morning. Your coffee is ready too” he adds before making his way into his bathroom.

While brushing his teeth he stares at his reflection. Maybe I should do something with my hair, he thinks to himself as he rinses out his mouth. After running his fingers through his hair for a couple minutes Xiumin grabs his brush from its drawer and with a disgruntled sound destroys all evidence of trying to style his hair. Why were you trying to look good for Chen, his inner voice asks puzzled. Unless, it adds, you still like him. Xiumin shakes his head and quickly leaves his restroom.

Once every member of Xiumin’s family is inside the car and they pull out of the driveway, they get stuck behind all of the slowest drivers and have to stop at every stop sign, forcing Xiumin to think about the realization he may or may not have made earlier in the day and the past few days. Am I even allowed to still like Chen, he wonders to himself as his memories flood his mind.

~Flashback~

He couldn’t remember how long it had been since he started crying but the warm arms wrapped around him never falter.

“Shhhh… You’re okay, you will be okay I promise” Chen’s voice says several times but Xiumin cannot muster a reply, Luhan’s words from the last few days playing over and over forcing more and more tears. “Xiumin it’s getting pretty late, your parents are probably worried about where you are” Chen says, but Xiumin doesn’t feel the arms around him lessen.

“He..he… he…he” Xiumin tries to say, trying to desperately express how awful he feels because of what Luhan has said. How could he say those things, Xiumin thinks, do all the years and all the promises really mean nothing to him, he wonders causing a new wave of tears to shake his body.

“Shhhh no don’t cry” Chen pleaded, rubbing small circles on his back. Then the realization hit him, Luhan was mad at him because of Chen, this whole thing was Chen’s fault not Luhan’s.

“G..ge..get off of me” Xiumin shrieked finally finding his voice and pulling away from Chen. “Th… this is all your fault” he yelled stumbling farther away from the warm embrace.

“My fault” Chen asked. Xiumin looked into his eyes and saw nothing but hurt.

“I can’t do this” Xiumin said motioning between himself and Chen hiccupping from all his tears.

“I understand” Chen said looking down at his shoes. “I can wait till you are ready” Chen said smiling over to him, that smile that melted Xiumin’s core. “Let me come with you to get your backpack, I’ll wait here till your parents come to get you” he said heading back towards the soccer bleachers.

His parents came shortly after, as the car pulled away from the curb Xiumin turned and saw Chen raise his hand in a wave smile still plastered on his face. As they drove towards their home Xiumin lay his head against the widow while enduring a lecture from his parents. Once he came home, his phone was taken away as part of his punishment, however Xiumin didn’t feel a great loss.  Without Luhan, there really wasn’t anyone who would be trying to reach him.

After a short dinner Xiumin was sent to his room to “reflect on his actions” at least that is what his parents said. Inside the safety of his own room, he curled up on his bed and allowed the tears to reappear. As he cried himself to sleep he came up with a new plan, something that would protect him and keep him from being so bruised ever again, a plan to become just what Luhan had called him, a nobody, someone invisible.

The next day he walked into school with his head down and his arms wrapped around his books. He ignored the waves and smiles sent his way. He sat in inconspicuous spots and took detailed notes in all his classes, only answering questions when his teacher called his name, never volunteering any information. He sat at a corner lunch table away from all the laughing and smiling kids, away from Luhan, and away from Chen. He read during any free time and often hung out in the computer lab, earning himself the nerd title. He stayed away from