"Aish!"

The angry remark got my attention somehow despite the fact that I had been in daze often lately. Minjung walked inside angrily and threw her handbag onto her desk, before her eyes capturing me staring unintentionally. I had to hold every vein in myself to not bow down, because God knows how much I needed to hold more authoritative power I'm supposed to have as her senior. She was quite hot headed and scary, but I shouldn't be affected. I'm the unnie here.

Even though her attitude few days back really boiled my anger with her wordless rudeness when I came to the office uncharacteristically in those outfits from that guy, Hey! ssi, since I still don't know his name. Eunhee the sweet new girl that never talked much to me anyway, came first after myself and she was a ball of excitedness, asking about my outfits and complimenting me, or rather, the dress I guess. But then Minjung came in, stared in me in disbelief and just gave her insincere sympathetic smile without saying anything else. She's been in the company for almost five years, long enough for me to understand each of her expressions well.

But her rudeness was nothing compared to the confusion that hit me like storm that day. Everything just went crazy in the weirdest ways.

I searched for Cherryish the moment I got to my seat and opened my computer. And guess what? There was just a small profile picture, wearing a full mask anyway, in the profile section and the information that followed was... gender: unknown, age: unknown, career: singing, acting. In fact, the debut date was even less than a year ago.

How did that answer anything? And worse, there was no whatsoever information anywhere else. Except in discussion boards where the fans and public discusses and make silly guesses of his or her identity. But how could they not know whether it's a he or she when Cherryish is a singer? So I went to find any audio file on youtube. And there's his or her music video, which mostly didn't show the singer and every split second this Cherryish appeared, it'd be in bad lighting and not even full body shot so I really couldn't tell. After trying to widen my eyes to see more clearly and finding evidences or clues for the third round, only did I realize how stupid everything was, the silly music video that tried to look cool, the synthesized voice that basically been changed to woman and man voice with machinated pitch playing, and myself. My own damn self that stared so intently as if it was something worth to even be glanced briefly when it was pure trash. The realization caught me offguard that I ended up laughing like hyena. The combination of the stupidity of everything was too funny to handle. How come people were even so interested about this lame third grade artiste(if it can even be called that)...it's like some con artiste without a decent quality to even be called an idol singer, what more a singer. It was lucky for me that Minjung wasn't around at that time or she might start spreading story that this ahjumma got so desperate of not being in a relationship that she lost her mind.

"Unnie, what is it? What's funny?" Eunhee seemed to be really shocked by it though. I almost felt sorry to her, because for the time she's been here, I barely even spoke more than a line to anyone, since nobody would talk to me anyway. Let alone laugh in front of them. So this must really surprised her.

"Eunhee-ya..." I was still laughing, but then caught myself speaking informally to her for the first time, even though it should be fine considering I'm the older one, this wasn't me. I cleared my throat and let myself calm down for a few seconds.

"Do you know about Cherryish?"

"Cherryish...?" Her face grew a tint of red that totally perplexed me.

"He's so cool, right?" She brought her face closer to mine to whisper the line and then giggled to herself, shyly. What the...

The synthesized voice and funny music video came to my mind again and I almost burst laughing to her face. Luckily this ahjumma still knows how to act like one.

"But how did you know it's a he?"

"Unnie, keep this a secret okay. I'm telling you because I trust you. The fans are not supposed to tell anyone, but maybe you can be his fan too." She giggled again, as my bewilderment grew.

"Okay, try me. What makes you say it's a he?"

Then she came closer and whispered things that were complicated for my rational mind to churn. That this Cherryish only do performances all wrapped under a cherry coloured cloak and didn't sing live because it's 'his concept' to remain mysterious, but from the way 'he' interacted with fans in his fancafe, it really seemed like a he.

How more ridiculous could this get? My mind was blown hard. How could the fans be so naive and innocent to readily believe such things? For all they know, that person who interacted with them in fancafe could be some agency workers. And not sing live and cover self as concept? Bull. That's called a cheapskate talentless scammer. I've lived long enough to be able to tell this without even having to blink an eye. But isn't this too obvious? Anyone should be able to tell.

It only meant, back to square one. I knew nothing of this Cherryish. Well, except that Cherryish got lucky his or her fans are so...dumb.

"Unnie, you didn't believe me do you? Try joining his fancafe."

I smiled to her.

As if.

But the weirder thing that happened as I grew more and more nervous waiting for my execution by Madam Hwang for a job not done, news came in that Eric insisted to cancel the production because another actor withdrew. Not Cherryish, but some idol girl they didn't disclose at that time, well Eric normally had a bunch of idol girls in his shows anyway. Madam Hwang went into emergency mode again but this time collecting the male workers to try persuade the actress. Thus, nobody cared anymore to find out that I actually failed to meet with Cherryish, miraculously. Sometimes, fate works in the strangest way, and luck comes at the most unexpected time.

"Jiwoo unnie, you met Cherryish the other day, didn't you?"

Minjung's no nonsense intonation brought me back to the present. For the past days, she had been leading the male worker team to get back the runaway actress in order for Eric to not cancel the contract.

The question was like a net that entrapped me though, considering I was supposed to meet Cherryish and everybody totally forgot or stopped caring whether I did my job after the new concern broke out, but the truth is, I didn't meet Cherryish. I didn't do my job well. I was simply saved because of the situation. And I guess, my luck was finally running out after a couple of days.

I nodded shamelessly and swallowed down the guilt. Keeping my dignity in front of my juniors was definitely more important to be prioritized though. Screw luck and honesty, I have to at least try to survive first.

"Then, who's this person that spent time with Cherryish other than you on that day? It seems that this chick is angry because she received picture of Cherryish on a date."

"And...why would she be angry for that?"

"Cherryish has been demanding for many scene changes and seems to be avoiding her or anyone. But that's because his concept couldn't let him interact with anyone. So he had to be alone in all his scenes. But this Chichi doesn't seem to get it and is insulted he'd go on dates instead. Since when does Cherryish do that anyway? She said she has proof but...ahh, that . Making my life difficult..." Towards the end, her speech became more and more detached, as if she was just whining to herself.

"But...what if it's not a he? How come she's so sure?"

"Unnie, this is called fangirls' instinct. Of course you don't know it anyway. You're already an ahjumma."

What she spewed out, they were totally the truth, but somehow, it still hurt. But bless the soul of the young boy who barged in and looked around but then darted towards me. I never noticed him before. New staff?

"Noona, you're Jiwoo noona right?"

I nodded.

"My name is Kim Dongjun." He stopped to gave a quick bow. "Madam Hwang wants you to ask Cherryish to persuade Chichi to get back into the project because Mister Eric Moon wouldn't change his cast."

"What? Why me?" No, not again. Even though that might mean I'd meet with Cherryish spokesperson again...I don't know...

"Because, Madam Hwang said you're in charge of Cherryish. And Chichi said she'd agree to go back to the production if Cherryish personally begs her to."

What is with entertainment world and their crazy people? Do all crazy people coincidentally end up in this business? Or does everyone who get involved turns crazy? 

And do everyone around people in entertainment business become crazy too? Ahjumma's sly smirk that showed no surprise at all when she opened the door for me, made me more than a little uncomfortable, but I tried to be civil about it. She's an old woman after all. Maybe, when I'm as old as her, I'd be just as weird too. Who knows?

It wasn't long before he appeared, but instead of smiling as usual, he seemed a little worried.

"What is it?"

"Oh...uhm, this is about...Cherryish. Have you heard about Chichi?"

"Chichi? You mean the idol? What's with her?"

"She wants...Cherryish to persuade her to get back into the show."

"But isn't she already in it?"

"Yeah but she backed away because of Cherryish's..." I wasn't sure if I should reveal about Cherryish's date. Was Cherryish allowed to date? I know many celebrities aren't allowed to. What if he or she didn't want the manager to know? How pitiful of these young people.

"Alright. It's all settled then. Cherryish will do that."

"What?! That easy?" My eyes widened.

"Yeah." He laughed, seeming to be startled by my reaction. "Jiwoo ssi, here." He handed me a ticket.

"For the show. You're going to go, right?"

There's already a ticket for it? I stared at it intently like it contained some secret code, when there's barely anything but seat number, and the generic details of the play. It's on twenty fifth of June.

"So, it's really happening huh..." I marveled to myself.

"Yes, and Cherryish wants you to be there. I hope you'll be there too."

"Oh...uh...I'll...try."

"I'll be waiting. So please come." The oddly absent smile that had always graced his face (even though I had just met him a couple of times) finally made its return and I simply nodded. "Okay."

Okay? What? Why Did I say that? I don't go to these theatres. I never even bothered things our company advertised for. All I know is that once everything's working, my job would be done. We do get complimentary passes for events we advertise or giftboxes of products. But truthfully, if it were tickets to any events I never took any. I'd never take any chances to go socialize with more people and get myself out there, to be exposed for more criticizing from people who don't even know me.

And these stage shows, really aren't much of my style. Even though if it were some eighteen to twenty years ago, I'd happily go watch my idols doing shows, those days were long gone.

And yet, I promised him again.

Curse that stupid smile.

And curse myself for heading to the river mindlessly instead of going back home, once I said my goodbye and was out of the mansion.

Everything about the river was so peaceful and quiet. Even the water runs very gracefully slow. Almost too peaceful that I wondered if death is just as peaceful, if it were to happen here. Don't get me wrong, he was right. Ever since that day, I haven't consider of jumping into the river again, yet. Well, maybe that was because it's not another family gathering yet. That's where I get most depressed with myself.

Then, why am I here? I only go to the river when I feel like crap. But now, it seems like I no longer come here with the same intention. 

Because I was disappointed to not see him there.

Pabo.

And maybe all the stupidness was really getting to my head and my view. Because as I got back on the road, driving with no really genuine focus, I failed to notice a speeding motorcycle at the fork that I tried to avoid but ended up slamming my car onto something. I usually had been extra careful at that part because there's no traffic lights. Maybe it was my luck that the last view I had wasn't of the serene yet lonely river, nor did I had any time to have my whole life flashing before my eyes, because the sequences would be too long, painful, annoying, and lonely.

Rather, all I see in that final view, was a bright, blinding light, and a flash of mother's face...and the regret for promise I couldn't fulfill to myself, to make her happy and proud of me, even for once in my lifetime, ...sixth of June, late evening.