That one fine evening, I arrived at my dorm after my very tiring musical practice. The lamp was turning off, a sign that there was no one inside the dorm. I stepped my foot on the floor and took off my shoes. the lamp and headed to my bedroom. I was really tired, really wanted to hit my bed right away. My body ached everywhere, really need someone to massage me or keeping me calm. 

Sungmin-hyung where are you?

I turned my head to Sungmin's bedroom, and realized his bedroom light was on. I stepped my foot carefully not to make any sounds to Sungmin's bedroom. When I wanted to reach the doorknob, the door opened and there Sungmin came up.

"Oh home already, Kyu? Since when you came?" Sungmin asked me casually. He went straight to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Not a long time ago. Why didn't you turn on the lights Hyung? I thought there was no one inside." I followed him to the kitchen and approached him who just sat on the chair close to the fridge and gulped down his water. 

"I was......reading. I'm sorry. Ah I will go outside at 7pm later. What do you want me to buy?" He looked at me and gave his tender smile.

I don't want you to go outside. I want you staying with me tonight.

"Nothing. Just come back home safely." I turned back my body and headed to my bedroom. Just realized I hadn't made any steps to my bedroom just because I want to check on him.

It was 12pm. I was playing my computer as usual and check on old variety videos.

He hasn't come back home. Where was he? Is he okay? Is he happy? 

I took my phone, and decided to call him. There was no answer. 

Hyung where are you?

I have called him over and over again. But there was no answer. Thought that he was not holding his phone. I was really worried with Sungmin. Did he avoid my calls or did he do this purposely? Or he didn't check on his phone at all? This worry feelings were boiling over. I would never can sleep easily without knowing where Sungmin is right now. 

I heard footsteps outside my bedroom, I went straight to the living room running like crazy. And found out it was Eunhyuk Hyung. He just came home this late after his practicing with Donghae hyung. 

"Oh...." I took a big sigh and took a step back to my bedroom.

"Ya brat! Why don't you greet me at all!" Eunhyuk shouted at me jokingly. I knew why he is so mad with my manner. And I knew he knows why I am feeling very worry right now.

"Welcome home Eunhyukkie-hyung. Ah anyway do you where Sungmin is right now?" I asked him with pleaded eyes, hoping Eunhyuk knows something.

"Sadly no. It's late. He hasn't come home? It's his bed time right now...." Eunhyuk was looking through the dorm while talking. Then he realized something. "Ya brat! Look! I think Sungmin inside his bedroom. Really stupid of you tsk" 

I gasped and realized it sooner. When will he come back? Why don't he greet me there inside my bedroom. Usually he will come to my bedroom after he reached the dorm from somewhere. But today, he didn't do it at all. Did he know how worried I was? I went to his bedroom and knocked his door. 

"Hyung. Sungmin hyung..."

He opened the door and rubbed his eyes. So cute like a baby, I miss that baby face so much. That baby face which always welcome me every morning in the past.

"What happened Kyu?" He finally looked at my eyes and asked why I wake him up.

"When did you reach home? I didn't hear any sounds you come home.....nor your footsteps." I admitted to him that I kinda looked for him. "And I was calling you many times, but you didn't answer me"

Do you even know how worried I was....

"I'm sorry, I put my phone on silence, so they won't bother my sleeps. Umm, I decided not to go." He admitted to me while rubbing his eyes. He yawned a lot. "Kyu, I'm really sorry. I think I have to sleep again. Really-really sleepy. Good night." He closed his door without waiting me to reply his goodnight. Usually he will give me a peck on cheek or lips. But not for today. Maybe because he was so sleepy? I just kept thinking positively. So I won't get dissapointed with him.

I headed to my bedroom and sat on my desk chair. Was looking through song list and a song interested me.

Suzy - I Still Love You

I know I shouldn’t cry already but why do I keep crying?
My heart toward you acts however it wants
So it keeps sending me to you

It hurts so much that I’m the only one who feels like this
That you aren’t looking at me
Though you are probably uncomfortable with me

I still love you, I love you
Though I don’t know anything else, I know I want you
The more I try to approach you, the more I try to get closer,
You try to run away and that makes me lonely

My tears are not stopping
You can’t, can’t, can’t get farther away
Don’t run away, don’t turn away from me, please

Because our happy and good times keep passing me by,
Because I feel like I will regret this till I die,
I have something to tell you right now

I still love you, I love you
Though I don’t know anything else, I know I want you
The more I try to approach you, the more I try to get closer,
You try to run away and that makes me lonely

Whenever you want to come back, you can come back to me
Because I love you

I’m okay even if you don’t love me
If I can just see you, I’m fine with anything
The more I love you, the deeper this gets,
You get farther away and that scares me

My tears are not stopping
You can’t, can’t, can’t get farther away
Don’t run away, don’t turn away from me, please

I shed my tears after listening to this song. This song very dedicated to my feelings right now. I felt like Sungmin turned away from me. Ran away from me. Since the day we decided not to be roommate anymore after more than 6 years we became a roommate. He kept hiding there behind that door. He kept going outside and inside without telling me. He kept ignoring my presence, my existence. He was probably uncomfortable with me? He didn't want me to bother his life anymore? He was changed. Since that day, gradually, He is changed. He is not the same person like in the past anymore. Where is Sungmin? Sungmin that always told me everywhere he will go, whenever he will go. Sungmin that always gave me a support whenever I have a musical practice. Sungmin that always cuddled with me on my bed before sleeps. Sungmin that always pecked my cheeks or lips everytime He was saying sorry. Sungmin that always gave me a warmth. Sungmin that always told me I will be able to do anything. It became my habit that everytime I went to the stage, I will say to myself "I will be able to do this". It was Sungmin's words. Sungmin's warmth words. Where are you hyung? Even Sungmin is doing this to me, I still love him no matter what happened. Because It was Sungmin since the start. I kept crying that night, realized this thing should be fixed. We have to talk soon. 

That morning I went to my musical practice venue, before I headed toward the front door. I went to Sungmin's room first. To greet him good morning. But his door was locked. He locked his door. I knocked his door instead, and no answer. 

"Sungmin hyung. I will go now to my musical practice. Good morning and have a nice day hyung." I went to the front door frowned. Was he still sleeping? 

"Kyuhyun.." Eunhyuk called me suddenly.

"Yeah?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Umm. I think something wrong with Sungmin. Have you checked on him? I have been knocking his door since early morning. But there's no answer. I'm afraid he is sick or something" 

I thought my heart stopped beating. Or It started to beat like crazy. Because I was very nervous to hear Eunhyuk's statement. "No... He must be fine...." I ran to Sungmin's bedroom once again and knocked it hard. 

"Sungmin! Sungmin hyung! Are you okay? Sungmin!!!" There was no answer while the door still locked. "Hyung I think we have to tell managers to get duplicate keys." I told Eunhyuk to call manager while I ran to the kitchen to take some equipments for maybe open Sungmin's door. I went to the door once again and tried everything from inside the equipments box. ". Sungmin. You have to be okay. No way.... Why are you not telling me anything" I didn't realize tears were flowing from my eyes while I tried to open the door. 

Managers were coming and bringing the duplicate keys. I took the key from Junghoon's hand right away. "Let me open it" I tried to unlock the door and it unlocked. 

There Sungmin lying on the bed, enfold himself with the blanket. I widened my eyes and ran straight to his bed. "Sungmin.. are you okay." I opened his blanket and touched his arms. There I realized, He was burning like crazy. His body very hot, I couldn't imagine how much he is suffering because of this temperature. His face really pale and He was gritting his teeth because of the cold inside him. "Oh my God hyung! You got a fever... You shouldn't lock your bedroom hyung...... Let's go to hospital okay?" I cupped his cheeks and he just nodded. I lifted him up from the bed and carried him. I felt my cheeks wet with my tears that keep flowing since I found out Sungmin locked inside his bedroom. This really hurted me to see my precious person to be sick like this. And no one helped him. I wanted to ask him many question but I have to bring him to the hospital first.

"Kyuhyun, You okay carry him alone? We can help you." Eunhyuk offered me and reffering him and managers.

"It's okay. This is my fault. I didn't realize it sooner. Sungmin is my responsibility" I went straight to the front door without looking back to Eunhyuk and managers that making a full of question face. I didn't care with anything except Lee Sungmin.

We arrived at the hospital and they brought Sungmin to the patient room. The doctor told us to make him rest, and not bother him until he is feeling better. I sat beside his bed. "Sungmin. Take a rest okay. I will always stand by you. Take a rest hyung." I kissed his forehead and sat beside his bed. 

I fell asleep without realize maybe because I was crying too much. 

"Kyuhyun. Kyu." Someone rustled my hair. I lifted my head up and saw Sungmin smiling at me. 

"You wake up? Do you feel better? Doctor has given you medicines and you might sleep here tonight. I won't let you stay away from Doctor sight." I took his hand and rubbed his palm with my thumb. I gave him my tender smile, I was really glad He looked better. Even his face still look pale, but his body temperature not that hot anymore. I was really grateful.

"Yes I feel a lot better. Thankyou for staying beside me. I'm sorry. I was not feeling okay last night and sorry not to tell you...sorry to make you worry. I---" 

"Sssh... It's okay Sungmin. Just take a more rest. You don't need to be sorry. It was my fault not realizing that you were sick. I'm sorry Hyung..." I took his weak body to my embrace and he hugged me back. I felt my chest wet with his tears. 

"I was actually going to pharmacy last night. I'm sorry I lied to you...." He still cried and hide his face on my chest. I got shocked that he went to pharmacy alone with this condition. That must be what makes it worse. 

"Why didn't you ask me to accompany you?" I asked him softly and rubbed his back.

"You looked very tired when you reach our dorm. I was waiting for you that day, that was why....that was why I didn't go out from my bedroom whole days. I didn't feel okay. But when I wanted to ask you to accompany me. You looked tired, and when I asked you what do you want me to buy. You replied me with cold eyes and went straight to your bedroom. I'm sorry....." He hugged me more tight and sobbed harder.

"Oh my God hyung.... I'm sorry. I didn't know you weren't feeling okay. I'm sorry. And Sungmin, no matter how look tired I am. You have to tell me anything. We can ask manager to buy you the medicine hyung...." 

"You are right. I didn't think properly last night. It won't be that worst like this morning if I told you." He finally lifted his head up and gave me a weak smile.

"Yeah..." I smiled back to him. "Sungmin hyung. Can I say something?" I asked him nervously and took a seat on the edge of his bed. He was still clinging with me like a koala. He nodded and looked at my eyes. 

"Actually... I feel that you are changed since I moved out from our old bedroom. You didn't cuddle with me anymore, you didn't go to my bedroom at all. You didn't greet me good morning anymore, you didn't....peck my cheek or lips anymore. Do you still love me? It's been a long time since you said those words to me...." I frowned and stared at his brown doe eyes.

"Kyu.... You know. You are the first man I fell in love with. Those days we were apart because you moved out from our bedroom, I realized you were moving so that you won't stuck with me anymore. I thought you didn't love me anymore. Yeah and it's been a very long time too since you said those words to me. I didn't trust my self to be your lover anymore. We didn't say anything but we were getting away to each other day by day. I thought you didn't like me anymore. Maybe you've found new love...." He hide his face to my right arm and said those things honestly.

"Sungmin. And you know too right. You are also the first man I fell deeply in love with? Actually I thought it was you avoiding me. So you were feeling the opposites. You thought I was avoiding you?" He nodded again and still hide his face on my right arm. "We were misunderstanding..... Sungmin. Look at me."

He lifted up his face, his face burned up because he was saying those words honestly. So red like a tomato. "I still love you. I...love you since the start until now or until the end of time." He blushed harder and hide his face again with his hands. "Do...do you still love me?"

"Of course. I still love you even more than before, Kyu. Even when I thought you were avoiding me, I still love you. I love you so much" He said those forbidden things that make me beating like a crazy behind his chubby fingers.

I took off his chubby fingers from his face and cupped his cheeks. "Dont hide your cute face from me hyung. You are mine, and always mine. You are my lover and always will be. I like you and I love you very very very much. And you know it never changes." I made our face distance getting small, "I love you, I love you, I love you" and place my lips on his plump lips. He placed his arms to my neck and I rubbed his back tenderly. We deepen our kiss and I asked him to part his plump lips with my tongue. He complied my order right away and I put my tongue inside his mouth to his whole cavern. He moaned and gave me a sign he needed to breathe. We parted our lips and he breathe rapidly.

After he could maintain his breath, he looked at my eyes again and said those forbidden things again with his very tender smile that I like the most "I love you too Kyuhyun."

I couldn't help to kiss him again but he hold my shoulder to stop my acts "Kyuhyun.." I frowned and felt rejected by him. "You know I'm having a fever. And I dont want you to get a fever like me later....." He blushed again so sweetly.

I chuckled and kissed his plump lips once again. "Fever doesn't transmit easily Sungmin" and hit his lips once again. Now I kissed him more fierce. He chuckled between our kiss and hugged me more tight. I still love him, I still love Sungmin. And when something went wrong, that thing just need to be fixed with honest talking. 

a/n: rough fic I wrote lol 

really full of my imagination.

and this all fully inspired from Kyuhyun ringtone. It really has deep meaning XD

Sungmin please don't run away from Kyu 8(

Comment please?^^