"Jackson Wang... Treating him like trash just never got old."

 

 

I scanned the huge hall that my good friend Jaebum rented for his wedding reception. The evening rays of light came through the huge windows on either side of the room. It was beautiful how the sunset’s colors entered the space the way they did, hitting the center floor where people were dancing.

 

I couldn’t fully grasp that Jaebum was getting married. Jaebum was like an older brother to me. Our parents were good friends and we grew up in each other’s company. I didn’t get along with many people as a kid, and he was one of the few exceptions. It always baffled me how he was able to handle my honesty and my inability to think before speaking.

 

It was hard to believe that he was all grown up now, getting married to his long time girlfriend, Suzy, at such a young age. Time just flew by like a summer breeze. I watched him from my seat as he walked around with his stunning bride at his left hand side, greeting the visitors with warmth. His black suit and red tie brought out his features, his bright smile as genuine as it had always been.

 

Deep in thought, I managed to catch Jaebum’s eye through the mix of the crowd, causing him to immediately walk towards me, dragging his bride along with him. I wore my best smile and flattened my long blue dress over my lap.

 

“Hey you! I haven’t seen you all day, Haylee. I almost thought that you didn’t come,” he said with a warm smile, rubbing his wife’s hand with his fingers. “You look all grown up and pretty today. You’re almost just as stunning as the bride over here,” he muttered pointing at Suzy.

 

“I know I’m fabulous and all, but you don’t need to rub it in. Besides, the bride is miles beyond me,” I added sarcastically, blinking a few times. Suzy smiled vibrantly and rubbed the side of my shoulder gently. A strand of hair fell gently to the side of her cheek.

 

“Thanks Haylee, I’m glad you came.” She was so pretty, it was insane. Suzy was like a doll; always dressed up, beautiful, perfect. I always felt like a freak next to her. Even now that I was all fixed up for the first time in my life, I was no match for her. “By the way, the best man is looking for you.”

 

Oh dear.

 

The best man. Jaebum’s best friend.  

 

Even the thought gave me shivers. His best friend was the person that irritated me the most in the world. Jackson Wang… I swear, if only such person didn’t exist.

 

“Speaking of which, here he comes,” pointed Suzy at a man pushing his way between the mob of people. His dark hair with streaks of light brown framed his face well, especially as the evening light brought out the lighter spots. Not used to seeing him dressed so formally, I almost did not recognize him.

 

“Jaebum, your parents are looking for you,” said the husky voice from the side that I could very well identify. My eyes darted in the direction of the voice, only to find Jackson's gaze resting on me as if I were the only one there.

 

“Thanks Jackson,” pronounced Jaebum in a funny tone, knowing very well that Jackson was overjoyed by the fact that he could annoy the hell out of me all he wanted.

 

Jaebum turned towards me, patted my head and smirked. “I have to go. We should hang out later when there aren’t so many people all up in my face,” he whispered before stepping away, pushing his way though the crowd again and disappearing with his wife.

 

My glare turned to Jackson, who was standing on front of me now. He bent down on one knee to face me seeing that I couldn’t get up from my seat. I rolled my eyes, not happy with the fact that he was off to bother me again.

 

“Haylee, what the hell are you wearing?” he asked, raising his eyebrow as he scanned me from head to toe. “When did you start dressing like a girl?” he asked jokingly, referring to my usually very simple, comfortable, and baggy clothing.  

 

“Eighteen,” I mumbled under my breath.

 

“What? Eighteen years old?” he asked raising an eyebrow. I pinched the side of his neck, making him wince in pain.

 

“No stupid! It took you eighteen seconds from the moment you got here to insult me.”

 

Jackson grinned, switching the knee he was leaning on now.

 

“Is that a record?”

 

“Nope you’ve already done it in eight before, when we met in primary school.”

 

***

 

12 years earlier....

On school days, Jaebum invited me over to do some homework with him at his house. It was convenient having him live next door for that reason. I opened the front door as if it were my own and made my way to the living room with ease. Jaebum’s house was practically my second home, a place I knew from the back of my head.

 

“Jaebum!”I called, peeking through the crack of the door. I saw the back of his head past the edge of the sofa and the television right on front of him. I playfully jumped over the sofa and fell directly onto his lap as he let out a scream. My legs landed more abruptly than I intended for them to.

 

Once my eyes rose up to my friend, I realized that it wasn’t him at all. It was another boy, his hair short, his skin a bit more tanned than Jaebum’s, his glare sharper than a two edged sword. I jumped out of his lap, frightened that he might beat me up. I had never seen eyes so razor-sharp in my life.

 

“I’m Jackson! Not Jaebum, geez. Did you really have to land on my lap so hard? You weigh more than a horse!” He scanned me from head to toe now that I was standing. My cheeks flushed a shade of red as I looked at him without a word.

 

The boy rubbed his sore leg, jumped on his feet and stood next to me, towering above me as I made myself small.

 

“You’re Jaebum’s friend? You look like you’re seven,” he insulted, finally fueling up anger inside me. I scoffed sarcastically and ran my fingers through my silky hair, pushing it out of the way.

 

“As if your opinion matters. I’m ten, same age as Jaebum, you dweeb!” I raised my voice, making it sounded rude. Jackson wore a mocking grin, held his hand on either side of his waist and took a step closer.

 

“Well that explains why you’re so moody. You preteen girls start going through puberty at that age. It’s annoying when you go on your mood swings, you know!”

 

I clenched my teeth together, wanting to punch him so hard he’d regret his every word. Just when I got a hold of his collar, Jaebum made his appearance past the doorframe with cups of juice properly placed on a tray.

 

“So Jackson, I see you’ve met Haylee...Getting along?” asked my good friend as he calmly placed the tray on the table.

 

“Oh yeah! I was just teasing her. Nothing more than that,” answered Jackson in my place, ruffling my hair every which way with his fingers. But my head was still fuming.

 

I knew I wasn’t going to like this guy.

 

***

 

“Why are you here?” I asked as I stared at Jackson very intently, watching him play with the fabric of my blue dress.

 

“I’m the best man. Of course I have to be here!” he answered not leaving what he was playing with subconsciously.

 

“No, I mean why aren’t you with that girl. Or those ladies dancing in the corner? Hell why aren’t you with those 30 year olds drinking fruit punch at the refreshment table?” I questioned pointing in all directions as he pulled a chair beside me and made himself comfortable.

 

“Cause… I like it better here. Besides, I don’t know any of them that very much. I’d rather stick around someone I like.”

 

Almost chocking on the piece of bread that I stuffed in my mouth at the end of his sentence, my eyes grew as they trailed from his head to his toes. My elbow leaned against the edge of the table, my face coming closer to scan his tensed up expression.

 

“YOU? Like me?” I raised an eyebrow, tilting my head a little. “Are you on drugs?”

 

Jackson paused for a second, and slowly, a discrete smirk took over his lip. He began to laugh quietly, his fingers scratching the table cloth nervously. 

 

“I guess I like you a little. Just a little though,” he blurted out with a huge grin, his cheeks turning a new shade of red. “Now eat!” He squeezed a large piece of bread from the basket between my teeth. After a few coughs, I took the bread out of my mouth and inserted it in his, squeezing his cheeks together to get his lips to part.

 

“Well that’s a pity, because I don’t like you one bit!” I exclaimed, patting his cheeks full of food. After swallowing the last bits down his throat, Jackson got a hold of my hand, rubbing it gently with his mild touch.

 

“Come on now… You used to have a huge crush on me! I bet you still do,” he reminded me with a mocking vibration to his voice.

 

“Do you want to die?” I threatened him, clawing the skin of his wrist, clenching my teeth together.

 

***

 

7 years earlier...

“I can’t believe this guy!” exclaimed Jackson, raising his arms in the air and walking past me into my house. He threw himself on the couch of my living room, as if it were his own.

 

“When did I invite you into my house?” I asked following him inside after locking the door. My parents were out for the weekend, leaving me all by myself, having to deal with this bastard who had nothing else to do but bother me.

 

Although I said that I hated his company, I would be lying if I thought that I didn’t enjoy it all the time, even to slightest. Jackson made me feel all sorts of things that I never understood.

 

He spread his body out on the sofa, shut his eyes and pressed his fingers between his eyebrows.

 

“Jaebum can be such an sometimes. I can’t believe he ditched me for Suzy today at the café,” he began to say, frustrated. I sat down beside him on the couch with my math book open on my lap and a pencil between my fingers.

 

“I didn’t allow you to tell me your life problems either,” I said, not even sparing him a glance as I was trying to finish up my homework. “Besides, we both know that the reason you’re upset is because Suzy is involved, not because Jaebum ditched you. Cause you know… it’s obvious that you are crushing on her hard and you just can’t accept that your best friend is winning in the race.”

 

“What?” he asked me to repeat, very angry now. He was fuming, his face red and his eyes piercing through my face. I finally looked at him, sitting up so I could explain myself.

 

“Jackson, don’t tell me that I’m lying. Every time Suzy is around, you stutter like you forget how to speak. And I’m sorry, but who smiles and laughs at everything a girl says, even when nothing is funny?” I glared at him, poking at his nose. It hurt to say, but it was what I observed.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me… Suzy? You’re only saying that because I treat her better than you.”

 

“You treat everyone better than me,” I answered, rolling my eyes and bringing my legs near my torso. “Come on, just be a man and admit that you like Suzy. I won’t tell anyone…” Even if I knew the answer, I was praying that he’d say no, just so I could feel better about myself.

 

Jackson sat up properly from his seat and leaned forward. His hair covered his eyes slightly, but still managed to bring out its rich color. His minted breath blew on my face like a gentle spring breeze.

 

“If I say that I do, will you be jealous?” questioned Jackson, holding his arm across my body, leaning on the chair’s arm rest. The tip of his nose was close enough to my cheek to consider it rubbing my skin. My heart began to beat at a dangerously fast pace.

 

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew deep down that he was on to something. Despite our fighting, I began to feel all sorts of things for him ever since the beginning of high school. It was weird, especially considering the fact that we spent half our time together in arguments.

 

I bit myself, leaving marks on the bottom lip. Sensing Jackson stare into my soul the way he was, I played with my fingers, digging under my nails.

 

“Jealous? You can’t be serious…” I tried not to stutter. Jackson smirked impishly; making my heart beat even faster. “Why would I be jealous of Suzy?”

 

“You’re lying,” he pronounced without the slightest hesitation.

 

“No.”

 

He caught my hand and moved in even closer, causing me to back up in my seat. His smile… I just wish he would wipe that grin off his face.

 

“I know you, Haylee. Whenever you lie, you start biting your lip and playing with your fingers to the point that you look so tense.”

 

I shook my head to bring myself back to my senses from that awful daze that Jackson always got me caught into. He stood up from his chair and fixed the wrinkles on his black shirt.

 

“It’s okay if you like me. It’s just that you’re not really my type,” he began to explain as I gave him the stink eye. “I don’t really like girls who wear boy’s clothes or girls who eat more than me.”

 

Feeling slightly hurt, I scanned myself from head to toe, wondering what was so wrong with my baggy sweat pants and overgrown t-shirt. I glanced back at Jackson, not really sure whether he was just messing with me, or if he was actually serious. Feeling embarrassed, I stood up, not wanting to feel humiliated and hit him across the chest.

 

I hated it when people called me out on the way I dressed or on my particularly greedy appetite.

 

“You’re such a heartless bastard! Every time I take the time to help you out for once, you end up picking on me again. Go home, you immature jerk!”

 

Jackson blinked a few times and looked at me as if he finally realized that I was serious. Letting out a frustrated sigh, my eyes trailed off to the side to avoid letting him read my hurt expression. I didn’t want to expose my weakness, especially when Jackson was around.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked, leaning on the edge of the sofa, checking if he actually hurt my feelings. I glared at him, making the answer obvious. But the truth was that I was just upset that he wouldn't even see me as a girl. To him, I was some dude he knew, and nothing more than that.

 

***

 

I took a sip from the glass of water on the table as I saw Jaebum bring his bride to the dance floor once a sweet melody began to play. Suzy’s white dress dragged on the shinny floor. She looked just like a princess; beautiful, gracious and delicate. I almost envied her for being so ladylike.

 

“She’s pretty, isn’t she? The bride, I mean…”

 

Jackson’s gaze went over to Suzy, whose dark curls fell to both side of her shoulder, and whose cheeks were pink from all the makeup.

 

“I’d like to think that JaeBum is a lot more stunning,” he joked, rubbing the back of his neck, disinterested.

 

“This guy, seriously,” I threw back, nodding my head. Why did I even bother talking to him about anything?

 

“All I’m saying is that there is another girl, here, tonight, who is prettier than the bride in my opinion,” he commented, his eyes following the girls walking by.

 

“Well I’d like to see where this girl is at, if she even exists,” I said, giving him a look of disgust.

 

Though I thought nothing serious about the conversation we were having, Jackson kept a straight face as he stared me down. I began to feel very uncomfortable as his gaze went deeper into mine. I managed to escape it, moving my attention back to the newly wedded couple. Suzy’s forehead rested gently on Jaebum’s now as he rubbed the side of her jaw line.

 

“Aren’t you upset that your best friend ended up marrying the girl you’ve been crushing on since forever?” I asked sort of out of the blue, leaving Jackson confused as to where that question even came from.

 

“Not really.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes a little. “Yeah I used to have a thing for her, but Jaebum hyung really liked her, so I figured it was useless starting a fuss over some hot chic. And besides, eventually I found interest in someone else.”

 

Driving my attention back on Jackson, I caught him stuck in a daze as he watched the married couple dance away. He gave them a subtle look of approval, smiling a little bit. I couldn’t help but beam when seeing such a soft side of Jackson.

 

“Haylee, do you want to dance?” suggested Jackson out of the blue, catching me by surprise. I gave him a funny glare..

 

“You’ve got to be kidding...”

 

Jackson blinked a couple of times and tilted his head, nodding in response.

 

“You do realize that I can’t dance, right?” I asked glancing at my stiff legs. Jackson reached over for my wrist and rubbed it with his thumb. I was taken aback by Jackson’s sudden shift of persona. His touch, that normally felt aggressive and abrupt, suddenly felt warm and delicate.

 

“Why not?” I took a look at my legs once again.

 

***

5 years earlier...

“Dude, are you crying?” I tried to figure out as I bent down to where he was sitting. I leaned forward to try to meet Jackson’s eyes. His head hung low, practically hiding under the front of his cap. I examined the front door of Jaebum’s house, wondering where he was while his best friend brawled on his front steps.

 

“No way! I don’t cry.”

 

I scoffed at him playfully, trying to lighten up the mood.

 

“Where’s Jaebum? Did he kick you out of his house?” I some more, but he didn’t move an inch. The fact that I wasn’t getting an insult or even a reaction in return was making me worried. There was definitely something wrong. “Ok seriously, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

 

I took a seat on the warm cement step, holding Jackson’s arm to get him to budge from his position. The mid-day sunlight hit my skin like a mild burn.

 

“This is about Suzy again... Isn’t it?” There was no reaction, indicating that this whole drama was indeed about her. “Is she inside with him, right now?”

 

Jackson rubbed his forehead and fixed the cap on his head.

 

“Jaebum’s introducing her to his parents right now,” he finally said, uttering his first serious words since I got there. There was a slight vibration to his voice. I felt the pain in every syllable that he mumbled under his breath.

 

“Oh so they are official,” I commented, referring to Jaebum and Suzy. It hadn’t really been clear what was going on between the two until now. I bit the bottom of my lip as I stared at Jackson intently. It almost looked like he was going to burst into tears.

 

I jumped back on my feet and walked over to Jaebum’s driveway. I grabbed the basketball lying around in the corner. After a few dribbles, I shot the ball in the hoop from a relatively far distance and hit the rim, making the ball bounce back to me.

 

“You ,” threw Jackson from the side. He was standing now, opening his arms to indicate that he wanted me to pass him the ball.

 

“Is that a challenge?” I tilted my head and threw the ball at his chest.

 

“Maybe,” he smiled dimly. It was a lot less scary seeing him smile than it was having him sit in a corner giving me the silent treatment. Jackson came at me, dribbling the ball with his left hand, blocking my way with the other as he went past me and towards the net. I tried to push my way to his side, but failed as he had already thrown the ball to the net allowing it to bounce off the backboard and into the hoop.

 

“That’s how it’s done, woman!” he pronounced clearly, coming at me to my face.

 

“Show off...” I mumbled loud enough for him to hear.

 

We played ball on Jaebum’s driveway for a good hour. I figured that it would be a good way to get Jackson’s mind off things and have a bit of fun on a nice and sunny day. By the end of it, we were left breathless, panting for air. Jackson had taken off his blazer, leaving him in a black tank top and revealing his well toned arms and sweaty torso.

 

My heart nearly fluttered.

 

“Last one wins it,” announced Jackson, passing me the ball. “You start, since you’re a girl.”

 

“Oh so just because I’m a girl, I’m supposedly weak and have the disadvantage... Says the one who just balled his eyes out like a little girl earlier,” I threw at him, dribbling the ball back and forth between my two hands. Jackson came towards me, his hand hitting my arm, causing me to throw the ball out of control and onto the street.

 

“Foul!” I shouted, pointing at the rolling ball.

 

“What? When did we start playing with fouls?” he scratched the back of his head and leaned on his knee, clearly out of breath now.

 

“Yo! We brought you guys some water!” shouted a familiar voice from behind. Jaebum stood on top of the staircase holding two glasses on either hand. Not long afterwards, Suzy followed from behind, wearing a pink classy dress and matching heels. She always looked like a Barbie doll next to me.

 

“Thanks,” I answered for the both of us, though we didn’t move to go get the glasses.

 

Jackson gave the couple a glance and turned right back towards me without a word. Though he didn’t say anything, I could read all of the sorrow he carried in his eyes. It hurt, seeing the guy you like hurt over another girl. But as his only source of comfort, I knew that I couldn't be more than that.

 

We stood awkwardly for a while before Jackson turned to get the ball rolling towards the street. He dragged his feet to the end of the driveway; his guard hung low.

 

It was at that moment that I saw a car running towards us at a fairly fast pace. Jackson clearly wasn’t looking where he was going and continued to follow the ball, unaware of his surroundings. I called his name without success before running down the driveway and onto the street, pushing him out of the way. Although I got Jackson to avoid a collision with the car in time, I wasn’t fast enough to get my body out of the way. Before I knew it, I found myself on the cement floor, lying in an awkward position. Still conscious, I tried to pull myself up, but I could move. It was weird, though I got hit in the back, I didn’t feel the pain just yet.

 

“Haylee!!” I heard Jackson shout as he came over to my side. The driver came running out his car to join us as well. Jackson tried to turn me over to push me off my chest, but I let out a scream. It was only when Jackson moved me that I felt pain rush through my entire body. It was a sting that I had never felt to that extent in my entire life.

 

Tears fell down my cheek like a river as Jackson let go of me, realizing that he made things worse by moving me around. My world slowly shut down from the rest of my surroundings, as all I could remember was Suzy running inside to call an ambulance and Jackson holding my hand as I struggled through the excessive pain.

 

***

 

“Clearly you’ve forgotten that I can’t walk, right?” I remarked, squeezing both my legs with my fingers. “It’s been five years since the accident and you still haven’t gotten used to it?”

 

Jackson’s expression went dark, his eyes dropping to my legs. I could sense the guilt he bottled up for the past few years after I came home from the hospital, receiving the news that my spinal cord had experienced a major shock, removing my ability to walk for good.

 

“Don’t feel bad, I’m used to it by now,” I assured him, giving him a tap on the shoulder. Jackson smiled bitterly and got up from his seat.

 

“I still want you to dance with me,” he stated, pushing my wheelchair past the crowd of people without even letting me answer. I sat on my moving chair, utterly confused to how Jackson was going to pull it off. He brought me over to the balcony, where the view of the sunset was even more beautiful than the light peeking past the windows inside the hall. The breeze was just right, allowing me to breathe after being suffocated by the excess of people indoors. Jackson bent down on front of me now, his knee scraping the ground, his stare as gentle as ever. He gave me one of those smiles; the ones that made my heart ache for being so beautiful.

 

“So... Are you just going to bend down and stare at me like that?” I asked starting to feel sort of uncomfortable.

 

“It’s your fault that I can’t stop looking at you.” Jackson put an arm under my legs and another behind my back, picking me up and forcing me to sit on the stone ramp of the balcony. He fixed the bottom of my dress, covering my legs with the blue fabric. Left without words, I was trapped in a daze as his chest pressed on mine. “But between you and me, you look better with your normal clothes. It’s more of your style...”

 

Jackson got a hold of my hands and placed them around his neck. He moved down my side, circling his fingers around my waist and began to sway back and forth. I beamed seeing that he actually managed to get us to dance, in a way. Looking behind me, I noticed how high up we were from the ground.

 

“If you drop me, I swear, I will haunt you in my grave.”

 

“Hey, I didn’t even think of doing that. You just gave me the idea.”

 

He laughed a little before staring at my leg again. My sandals hung above the floor slightly.

 

“Tell me the truth,” he began, not looking at me out of pity. “I gave you a hard time. Didn’t I?”

 

I turned my gaze to him, tightening my grip around his neck.

 

“You must’ve struggled a lot having to move around on a wheelchair until now,” he whispered near my ear. “I didn’t even try to help you. And I’m still not able to do anything for you.” My grip softened, seeing that Jackson appeared as if he were about to cry.

 

“I’ll be okay,” I smile, leaving a bitter aftertaste. “Is that what you want to hear?”

 

Jackson shut his eyes. I covered him in guilt at this point. Leaning my forehead on his, I began to drop tears one by one. All the struggles I held in me for the past five years came pouring out.

 

“Truthfully,” I paused for a second, trying to gather up my words. “I’d do anything to walk again.” And with that, it was enough to get a kiss on the cheek. Jackson’s lips were soft and rubbed smoothly on my skin. My heart began to thump through my chest as it resonated in my ear. His lips stayed there for what felt like hours before moving to the side of my ear.  

 

“I never told you how sorry I am for hurting you the way I did,” he whispered softly, rubbing my back gently. I beamed, happy that I got to see this side of Jackson for the first time in my entire life. “You actually mean so much to me, you know that?”

 

“That’s funny, you’ve always said that we weren’t friends,” I remarked, leaning back to see Jackson’s face better.

 

“Half the things I’ve ever said to you were lies. Did you actually take all of the insults I’ve told you seriously? You know that I like you a lot. I always have.” Jackson pulled the curl that dangled down my face and moved it behind my ear. Though his body heat gushed out like fire, all I felt were shivers down my spine.

 

“So that girl you said you were interested in...” I brought up, referring to the earlier conversation. I didn’t even know why I was trying to get him to talk about that now.

 

“I’ve been flirting with you since earlier... Who do you think I’m interested in, stupid?”

 

My face turned a bright shade of red once the slow music stopped playing. Though the dance was over, Jackson didn’t let go, still playing with the folds on my dress and kissing my cheek again.

 

“Haylee, we’re leaving,” I heard someone walking from behind and towards us, pushing Jackson aside. It was my father. His aggressive handle on Jackson’s grip on me exposed all the feelings of resentment that my dad felt towards him. In fact, my dad hated Jackson since the day of the accident and didn’t like him stopping by the house anymore.

 

My father picked me up with his strong arms and placed my bum back on my wheelchair.

 

“Dad...”

 

“Haylee we’re going home. That’s enough for tonight,” he said, completely ignoring Jackson who stood in utter confusion. I searched for Jackson’s eyes past my father’s shielding body, only to find him staring to the ground in disappointment. My dad began to push my chair out the door until I held onto the doorknob to stop the wheels from advancing further. My father’s eyes grew at my sudden halt.

 

“Hey idiot!” I called Jackson, making his eyes shoot up at me. “I’m going to kill you at our basketball rematch tomorrow on JB’s driveway.”

 

“How can you play ball on a wheelchair?” asked Jackson, giving my dad a few glances, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Although my father didn’t seem too pleased, he gave in and let me say my last words.

 

“I just managed to dance with a klutz like you despite my legs. In that case, I’m pretty sure I can manage to play ball on a wheelchair. And besides, we need to determine who wins that tie game that we never finished!” I leaned to the side of my armrest to get a better glimpse of him. “My house, at ten in the morning! Be there, or I tell Suzy everything!” Jackson smirked playfully. Treating him like trash just never got old.

 

"Haylee," my dad started. “You know that I don’t approve of this.”

 

I looked up to my father, who was glaring at me, pretty much telling me to shut up.

 

“Dad, we’re just going to play a game of basketball. Besides, he’s just Jaebum’s friend, nothing more than that.”

 

I winked at Jackson, who broke into a smile. “Just Jaebum’s friend”: To Jackson and me, those three words had always meant far more than what they seemed to convey.

---

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