Hey everyone! Here's another review! I just wanna inform you guys that I had revised the way that I review the story and made a slight change to how I'm reviewing them. Instead of grading the plots section over five marks, I decided to raise it up to ten for I realized that plots in a story plays quite a big part :)

Title: [3/5]

It’s not very eye-catching because I’ve seen at least ten or more stories with either the same or similar titles and it’s rather cliché. Though, I really thought that it fits the story.

Description/Foreword: [8/10]

Wow! You sure used the space for your description well. I loved how you started the whole story with a paragraph that actually leaves the reader pondering what will happen next. You didn’t give away too much and neither did you leave the reader totally clueless about what was going to happen so I thought it was really good.

I also liked the way you had a paragraph each for the three characters. It actually gave an idea of how each character was like and what we, the readers, can expect from the characters respectively.

However, the introduction that you had for Sun Hee was kind of a turn off. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like a character to be a Mary-Sue. You described her to be a person who was almost flawless and that kind of made me lost interest to actually continue your story.
I know that she isn’t exactly like that in the story but it’s about how you introduce the character at the beginning. By making her sound like a Mary-Sue in the beginning, the readers might think that she would be a Mary-Sue throughout the story.
So I guess that was your only downfall for this section.

Plot: [4/10]

So far, I have yet to see any plots that are outstanding or eye-catching. Maybe that’s because you are still at the start of the story so you have yet to touch on the main plots like how you said Dong Woon would play with Sun Hee’s heart in the description. So basically, I thought it was boring at the start but what pulled your score up was the knowledge that I got from your description regarding the future plot that you have. I really liked the idea of Dong Woon making Sun Hee fall in love with him without knowing that she was actually his wife and I’m curious to know what he would do after finding out that she was his wife. Now that’s something that I’m waiting for.

Flow: [5/5]

I admit. I liked the flow of the story. It wasn’t too slow and neither was it too rushed. The pace was comfortable and I didn’t get confused reading the story. Everything bloomed rather nicely.

Writing style: [4/5]

It was neat. Very neat and I like stories with neat formats that doesn’t burn my eyes. Your POVs were clearly written and I actually felt like I was the character.  You dialogues were also formatted formally. So good job! Woo! Here’s some strawberry milk!

Originality: [5/10]

Like I mentioned, you still have yet to make your story grow into what it is intended to be. Currently, you can actually find stories that have very similar plots to yours. You know, the girl finds out that she’s arranged to marry a guy and her bestfriend loves her but he is too much of a coward to tell her and ends up breaking his own heart when he finds out that the girl is going to get married to a guy that she doesn’t know. You know, the usual.
HOWEVER!
The idea of them getting married just by the law, and that is just by signing, is very different! I didn’t know you could do that! Usually when you have arranged marriages, the girl would usually meet the guy and they would go through a force wedding ceremony but yours was totally different and intrigue.
Seriously? Getting married without knowing who your other spouse is and just signing the paper? Wow, now that is what I call original.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary: [25/30]

It was almost flawless. It was hard finding a mistake. However, I did spot some small errors like spelling and typo. There weren’t actually grammar mistakes and I’m really glad!

(Chapter 2)

"Oh, touchy aren't we? And does this not look like a lovesick little puppy to you?", Dong Woon said, pouting and looking somewhere dreamily.

There is suppose to be a comma after ‘touchy’ and you shouldn’t start a sentence with ‘And’ because it’s a connector and you use it to connect two sentences together. You don’t use it to start a sentence. That’s totally wrong.
Correct: “Oh touchy, aren’t we? Plus, does this not look like a lovesick little puppy to you? Dong Woon said, pouting and looking somewhere dreamily.

(Chapter 3)

Whenever someone speaks of you, only sweet words filled with envy will escape your lips.

It’s ‘their lips’ and not ‘your lips’ because someone is speaking of you.
Correct: Whenever someone speaks of you, only sweet words filled with envy will escape their lips.

Your fathe and I are extremely proud of you. Countless. Because to everyone, you are extremely perfect.

Father was spelt wrongly and I don’t get how you had ‘Countless’ there. Plus, Because cannot be used to start a sentence. Either you replace it with ‘It is because’ or you just simply connect it to the sentence before it. Using because as a starting is a no no XD
Correct: You father and I are extremely proud of you because to everyone, you are extremely perfect.

Oh and another thing that I have to point out because this was starting to get a little bit on my nerves. When you have a dialogue, you tend to misuse the comma.

For example,

“Hello, my name is Danny”, He said.

Technically, the comma comes before the closing quotation. For normal dialogues with no exclamation or question mark, you put a comma before the closing quotation marks as shown and start the word after that with a small letter because the sentence has yet to end due to the comma used.
Correct: “Hello, my name is Danny,” he said.

Plus, another problem that you have is this.

“Stop!”, He yelled.
“Huh?”, He questioned.

When you have an exclamation mark or a question mark in the dialogue, there is no need to have the comma because you ended the sentence already. So remove the comma and start the next word with a capital letter because you need to start with a capital letter when the sentence before it had already ended.
Correct: “Stop!” He yelled.
“Huh?” He questioned.

I’m having a hard time explaining this but I hope you get the idea. Do message me if you still don’t understand, okay, because I have a feeling that I’m confusing you. Sorry!

Characterization/Details: [15/25]

I hated how you made Sun Hee a Mary-Sue. I’m serious. She was too perfect and I can’t help but to kill her in my head because she was bloody perfect. I’m sorry but it just wasn’t nice to read. No one is perfect and you make her sound like an angel who got stranded on earth thinking that she was human but she wasn’t. Okay, I’m blabbing again but yeah, Mary Sue is a no no for me.

Kikwang was just stupid, in my point of view. I'm really sorry but he was just too retarded because he seemed like he was obsess with Sun Hee rather than being in love with her. Though, I guess it's part of the story. Please don't be offended okay!

I did like how you made Dong Woon very hot and very rebellious and I have to give you a pat on the shoulder for your description of the things that was around them. The details that you had put inside to describe the scenery and whatever that was surrounding them was really accurate. It was nice imagining the place that they were at.

Total score: 69/100 --> Oooo look at that! 69 ^^

General comments: Generally, it’s okay. I found it rather boring because the story was still at it’s beginning stages and it was just… Well, boring. I guess that was the downfall for your marks. However, I have to give you a thumbs up for the superb description, the writing style and the almost perfect grammar/vocab/punctuation. I really like that you made an effort to perfect that sections of the story.

I’m pretty sure that your story will develop beautifully. I can’t wait to see what will happen between Sun Hee and Dong Woon!