VER. 3 LAY

Yixing lay on the bank of the river like he always did on evenings like this. The cool breeze swept over the water, chilling him and the blades of grass that surrounded him. This was his haven; in the cool summer nights he would come lay out here just to relax. It wasn’t too far from home, but it wasn’t close either.  It was the only place he could come to where no one would find him, where he could lay and just relax and say nothing and hear nothing except the wind and the trickle of the water slowly down the stream.

He sighed, ruffling the grass with his hands as he stretched them out over the cool blades before clawing, gripping the grass gently as he arched away from the ground as he sighed. Nature could just relax him like nothing else. He felt like nature was the only thing that forgave him for what he did.

It was a while ago now, but the guilt ate at him all the time. There was a time while he attended school here in Korea where he did something he would always regret. His eyes clenched tightly as he thought of it, his nails clawing deeper into the fertile earth.

There was a girl, her name was Kara and many people picked on her. She was bullied because of the way she dressed, the style of her hair; anything, any feature she had, someone picked on her. Lay knew that people had followed her from earlier schools to now, bullying her as she grew up. She was made fun of because she didn’t dress the norm of the rest of the girls: not at school, and not out in public. She was more conservative than most and she was bullied for it. She wore glasses; students made fun of her for not being able to afford vision correction or even contacts at least. Any feature, pick one, and someone would have made fun of her for it. Her hair wasn’t always the best kept, she had dark bags around her eyes, imperfections on her face that were never covered because she didn’t believe that she had to follow the agenda of society and cake her face with makeup.

She was different, the black sheep; ostracized.

Kara had helped Lay once or twice with his Korean homework, taking time out of her busy schedule. She had seen him struggle with previous tutors, and knowing more than a of Chinese herself found it easy to assist him. She thought Lay was different then. She thought Lay might be the only one she could count on to just treat her like a normal human being.

But that all changed one day; school was over and everyone was leaving. Lay was hanging with his usual buddies, laughing and having a great time when one of them spotted her. One of them made a rude comment and Lay just laughed until a couple of them started approaching her. Lay didn’t know what to do, so he followed.

They yelled mean things at her, telling her that no one liked her, bull reasons she didn’t have any friends and then one of them pushed her.

She banged against the wall of the building, her books falling from her arms and onto the floor as well as her glasses. She glared at the boy who pushed her and then Lay did something he never thought he would do. He took a step forward and stepped on her glasses, crushing them under his foot.

Kara gritted her teeth behind her pursed lips as she glared at Lay before she reached out and pushed him back, bringing him off of her glasses. He stumbled but was easily caught and was then approached by the other boy who had pushed her against the building. She couldn’t see very well, but it was enough to faintly make out the details of his face and with all the might she had, clenched her fist tightly and swung as hard as she could.

Time seemed to stop in front of the boys as the sound of bone crushed against her fist: direct contact with his cheekbone. He fell to the floor, face bloodied and a couple of the others tried to help him up.

She was never seen again.

Lay always remembered that day as one of the worst days of his life. He wasn’t like that and he knew it. Even he had been bullied before, so what possessed him to be such a fowl person at that point in time? She had done nothing but be nice to him. She helped him learn Korean and never wronged him in any way.

Tears stung his eyes as he recalled the days he was bullied and how he felt, and then how he must have made her feel. It was awful. Soon after that event, he and his group of friends knew exactly how it felt to be her. Ahn Jung Min, Ahn Kara’s elder brother, would take his revenge on those who destroyed Kara. There was one day in particular that Lay remembered vividly.

Jung Min was much older than these boys, but when Kara came home with broken glasses and more of a story to tell than usual, he knew he had to do something: protect his baby sister, get retribution on those who had wronged her. And he did. Jung Min wasted no time tracking down the six that had mocked her and abused her that day and one by one they came to apologize to Kara for what they had done, all of the humility and guilt crushing their very souls. Until Lay. Jung Min knew Lay a little more than the rest of them. Kara had talked about how she had tutored him in language but that didn’t stop Jung Min from viciously grabbing him by the collar and hoisting him from his seated position to his feet.

“Zhang Yixing, we meet at last,” he said menacingly.

Lay wanted to ask who he was but all he had to say was, “Kara.”

He continued, “You mocked her, you abused her and you don’t even know anything about her or what kind of life she’s growing up in. Did it ever occur to any of you that she may not have the privileges that everyone else does? Do you want to see what kind of person you bully?”

It didn’t matter; Lay didn’t have a choice as he was dragged with the elder and much larger male.

That was when he learned all about Kara. She grew up in a broken home—a bastard child. Her mother got deep into drugs when she was very young and abused all of the children, even Jung Min. Kara was responsible for raising the other three since mom was never around, and even if she was, she was nowhere near competent enough to raise children. She worked two jobs after school, sometimes more if she could handle it to help Jung Min keep the house and keep all the mouths fed. She studied hard to get into a good school for a good job, so she could afford to wear clothes that weren’t her brother’s hand-me-downs. She had never even seen her dad in her life and Jung Min was her only full sibling.

Lay threw up on his own shoes. He couldn’t handle this image. He couldn’t believe that a girl he beat on lived like this. He had never known what a terrible life she had and, frankly, he never even took it into consideration. But he knew; he knew what it was like to be bullied and continued to question his actions, but it didn’t matter.

Kara entered the room, an infant in her arms. The circles around her eyes were darker now—she was even more sleep deprived than before. “I’m so sorry,” he managed to choke out, knowing that she could barely see him without her glasses.

“Who is it?” she asked.

“Zhang Yixing,” Jung Min replied.

“Let him go,” she commanded her brother who allowed Lay to barely balance on his own. “Get out of my sight,” she then commanded to Lay who could do nothing but bow respectively and turn and leave with an encouraging push.

The memories were too much for him as he laid there in the grass. Though the cool breeze calmed him a bit, he couldn’t help that fresh tears were cutting his immaculate cheeks. He cried for her, he cried for himself, and he hated himself for the awful things he had done to her. Bullying was never okay and he knew that.

“There he is!” a male voice yelled, waking Yixing from his memories. He opened his eyes to see many familiar faces, the five who were there the last day Kara was seen. His eyes widened as they all came hurling down the hill at him, having no intention of stopping. He was on the outs with them the day he went with Jung Min to see Kara, to see her broken home and was let loose by her merciful will. The others weren’t so lucky, and they were here for their restitution.

Lay couldn’t even respond as the collar of his shirt was taken into two strong hands, another fist making contact with his face and he fell to the ground. He immediately flung his arms up to cover his face, protecting it from the kicks and punches that soon ensued. It felt like forever to Lay, but it wasn’t long before the five were done, tossing his seemingly unconscious body into the river where he hadn’t the strength to keep his face out of the water. The river was shallow enough that his body could touch the bottom if he bent the right way, but he didn’t stay up, he sunk straight to the bottom. 

He couldn’t even stop himself from breathing in the water, choking; drowning; dying. He lay on the rock bed of the river, unconscious for only a few moments before his body was lifted out of the river and thrown back onto the bank. His clothes weighed a thousand pounds and were sopping wet, but Kara didn’t care as she threw her head against his chest, listening for any sign of life.

It was slow, but it was there. Already knowing he wasn’t breathing, she cocked his head back and pinched his nose, filling his lungs with air before pumping it back out. She tried again, covering his to fill his lungs with air before compressing his sternum rapidly. It wasn’t long before the water came up and dribbled out of Lay’s mouth, easing him into coughing the rest of it up. He turned to his side with the strength he had, nothing short of a lot of pain to drain the rest into the grass.

His eyes refused to open as he let sink in the fact that in a mere ten minutes he was beaten to near death, thrown in the river and resuscitated. But who? Who could have saved him? His eyes opened to look at her face. It had been a couple of years and she was definitely different, but he could still recognize her. “Kara,” he muttered before reassuming the unconsciousness.   

She could tell just by looking at him how much his body ached. In a matter of about three minutes, she had watched him get torn up from his peaceful state, beat to a pulp and then almost drowned to death. She didn’t even really know why she saved him; she had wanted nothing more than to slap in the face for the past however many years for doing what he did. But she didn’t want to hurt him any more than the rest of them that bullied her.

Kara didn’t even really know what compelled her to save him, other than the fact that she wouldn’t ever watch someone die in front of her when she knew she could at least try to help. But she wanted to hurt him; deep down she wanted to choke him out herself, but what would that make her? That would stoop her down to his level, albeit it was many years ago—she would become the bully of her bully.

“Help!” she called weakly, crawling up the side of the bank. “Help, somebody! Please…” She gathered his head in her soft hands, lifting it from the cold wet grass to set in on her lap. She pulled out her phone and dialed for help. “Yes, I need an ambulance, someone is terribly hurt; a mile downstream the river crossing. Come quickly, please; we need help.” Her voice was desperate as she closed her phone to look down at Lay. His lips were cold and slightly blue, his body beaten, bruised and bloodied.

With nothing to say she just looked at him, making sure he was still breathing, still living. She wasn’t going to leave his side, not now, not until he got help. “I forgave you and I saved you, but that doesn’t mean I like you any more than I did years ago,” she murmured to him, pushing his hair away from his face. “Just please make it through this so I don’t have to feel the guilt; I did my best to save you,” she muttered, her hand now cupping his soft but still quite warm cheek.

It wasn’t long until they were approached by paramedics. “Be gentle with him,” she pleaded as the noted all the injuries he had sustained as they moved him to the stretcher. She stood on her feet, her pant legs soaked through at the knees from kneeling in the wet grass. She followed them, as least as far as she was permitted—which was to the ambulance—and watched Lay’s face. Right now it looked so peaceful, only because he had just exerted all of his energy trying to stay alive. She was glad he was resting, even if it was forced by lack of oxygen to the brain momentarily.  She sighed as they loaded him into the truck, watching him disappear as the doors closed. One paramedic walked in front of her to get to the driver’s side, but she caught his arm as she looked down. “Save him, make sure he lives,” she demanded, her hand clenching his arm firmly.  The paramedic said nothing but nodded in response; soon after, the ambulance drove away.

Many weeks had passed since that day and Kara hadn’t heard a word about Lay, not that she checked up on him. She trusted that Lay was in good hands, that he lived and carried on about his normal life without any thought of her. She never thought he would think about her, and it was never a though in her mind but she wondered—who wouldn’t think about the person who saved your life? It didn’t matter, she quickly brushed that thought out of her head as she sat in her apartment. It was rainy today, so she sat on the cushioned bay window ledge, a cup of warm tea in her hands as she stared out the window, water droplets collecting on the glass and she occasionally watched them race down it.

By now, Kara was in a much better position. She lived on her own now, having enough money to do so with a steady job and not a lot of outflow of cash. She kept most of it in savings, but some of it she gave to the rest of the members of her family and even partially paid for her mother’s rehabilitation. She never regretted the decision to help her mom and occasionally visited her. At the moment, she didn’t look all too great, but Kara knew it was doing her good. She reminisced as the rain died down. It was merely a trickle now and the skies were a lighter gray. 

“Are you hungry, Saja?” Kara asked, her cat meowing fervently at her, rubbing her head in Kara’s free hand. Saja clawed the cushions on the ledge before jumping down at the sound of a gentle knock on the door. Kara wasn’t expecting any visitors but she reluctantly rose and set her tea down to approach the door. Saja was none too quiet as the female shuffled across the floor, leaning up to look out the peep hole of her door which she could no longer see out of.   She didn’t want to open it, but something told her that she should. Slowly the locks tumbled as she turned them before the knob, pulling the heavy wood open.

There, on her front porch, was a slightly wet Lay looking much better than he had a couple of weeks ago. For the most part, his scratches and bruising was gone and he looked much healthier. She didn’t even have the tongue to ask him what he was doing—or how he even found her living quarters—so she stood there in silence and waited for him to say something. His tongue seemed to be slightly caught, too, as he looked over her. It didn’t matter what she was wearing, he had noticed that she had turned into a fully developed and fairly attractive female, now that he got a good look at her.

He cleared his throat before presenting her with a few beautiful hibiscus flowers. “I brought these for you,” he said, holding them out to her delicately.

“How did you find my home?” she asked, hesitant to take the flowers.

“I just thought they would be a nice token of my gratitude. Without you I would have died,” he responded, totally blowing off her question.

“Do you even know what hibiscus flowers mean?” she asked, “because they definitely don’t mean gratitude.”

“They mean delicate beauty, and I thought they were a perfect fit because I think that’s what you are. And they’re wonderful and radiant and kind and beautiful, but that’s also why I brought you these,” he added, another couple of flowers in his other hand—these were yellow lilies.

Kara, frankly, was speechless. Lay, somehow, found her home to show up with a bunch of flowers to speak to her volumes that he couldn’t, that he just didn’t have the tongue to say. “But I also have some of these to say that I’m sorry,” he added, handing her a couple of bundles of liatris flowers. “And I just wanted to thank you for being such a wonderful person, a guardian angel for me even though you probably hate me to death. But I couldn’t let your efforts go unnoticed, so I had to bring you these and I would really like you to take them,” he explained, holding the flowers closer to her before she gathered them in her hands, brushing over his hands in the process.

“Will you come in, please?” Kara asked, wanting to bring him in from the rain, but also wanting to keep the rain out of her home. Lay bowed respectfully before entering her home, removing his shoes before following her into the kitchen to look for a vase. “Please sit,” she said, standing high on her toes for a tall cabinet to reach for one that was perfect. Another hand shot past her to reach up but she wasn’t focused on the vase anymore as a gentle hand wrapped around her waist to keep her steady so he didn’t knock her over. He set the delicate glass in her hand before retreating to the main room.

It wasn’t long before she came in with him, her full vase of flowers in her hands to set on the coffee table in front of the couch were Lay currently resided. She conservatively sat next to him, crossing her legs as a lady should and keeping to herself. “So,” she started, “how did you find me?”

“Is that really relevant at this point?” he asked in return. “It took many weeks of searching after regaining consciousness. I just did what I felt was owed, not that my debt will ever be repaid,” he added, turning his head to look out the window.  “I’ve done too many bad things to you, and then you go and save my life. What kind of jerk like me deserves that?” he asked, turning back but Kara was already in front of him.

Her hand made harsh contact with his face, slapping it, and it stung like hell. “That’s for being an to me in school.” He couldn’t lie, he deserved it, but damn it still hurt. “And this is for being a man,” she added, caressing his cheek that she had just slapped gently in her hand, her fingers delicately curling around his ear as she leaned down to kiss him softly. Lay’s eyes fluttered closed as her forgiving lips made contact with his and it wasn’t long before his strong hand found her hip and pulled her down and onto his lap, his other hand weaving into her messy bun. His full and supple lips caressed hers, his hair brushed against her forehead as his nose pressed into her cheek. His brow drew together in such delight, he wasn’t even entirely sure that he wasn’t just dreaming the whole thing, so his arm tightened, feeling her warm body press up against his.  Kara’s hands fell to his sturdy chest; his soft and warm skin pressed into her palms for it was exposed by his low cut V-neck.

Lay broke the kiss with a quiet suctioning noise before his tongue flicked out over his lips. His eyes fluttered open to meet hers; they seemed to be just as hazy as he assumed his were.  “Yixing,” she whispered, it was just enough for him to lean forward and slide his smooth warm muscle into . She welcomed it, sweeping her tongue across his as it pushed through her cavern only to retreat. His warm breath fanned over her face as his lungs quietly begged for air.

He wanted something a little different, though. He stood her up, himself standing with her, towering slightly over her. He didn’t want a kiss anymore. He wanted to stand there and hug her. He hugged her to have her feel his sorrow, his remorse, his pain. He pulled her head against his sturdy chest and allowed her to listen to his guilty heart which beat almost reluctantly against its cage.  “All I want is your forgiveness,” he uttered, his hand cupping her head softly, the other wrapped around her shoulders. “There’s nothing I ever wanted more than to hear you say, ‘Zhang Yixing, I forgive you,” because that would do absolutely everything for me. Selfish it may be, it wouldn’t be totally unreasonable for you to say that you don’t.”

“Zhang Yixing,” she paused. He held her tightly with anticipation. “I forgave you the day it happened.” And with those words he crushed her against his chest, wanting to weep pathetically, to cry into her hair and thank her for her kind heart. Her arms wrapped around him and in that moment, his heart became lighter. “I always liked you anyway,” she added, rubbing her head against his chest affectionately.

One single solitary tear trickled down his cheek, but it was quickly wiped away by a soft hand which cupped his cheek so tenderly. His eyes clenched tightly to hold the tears back, but she didn’t want him to. She encouraged him to cry, for she knew he had endured so much stress about it for so long. They both fell back to the couch where Lay proceeded to bury his face into her neck and hold her tightly, the warm fluid from his eyes spilled over her shoulder, but she comforted him. This is the Lay she knew, the Lay she remembered. Confident and loving; he wasn’t a bully, he was just a boy easily influenced by his peers. But Lay had graduated into manhood, and it took a man to take care of a woman like Ahn Kara.

And it took Ahn Kara to take care of a man like Zhang Yixing. 

 

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A/N: I wrote this to... address the problem of bullying around the world... It's never ever okay to bully anyone for any reason, because bullying will change somebody's life forever. Nobody can know everyone's situation, what they're going through, why they are a certain way. People are all different and we need to learn to love and accept one another. We are all human beings, and we should all treat each other as such. Some may be more privileged than others, but that does not give anyone the right to put anyone else down. We all have feelings, and they all get hurt by something hurtful being said, something hurtful being done. Please, help end the bullying. It's been a problem for many decades and people are bullied over the most insignificant things. If you see someone being bullied, please stand up. Be a voice for the voiceless. Be a helping hand to the helpless. Be the loving, caring, and wonderful humans we all are, congnizant or otherwise. 

Only you can stop bullying.

 

Anyway, enough with the PSA. I hope you guys enjoyed this one. It was difficult for me to write because I have had problems with bullying in the past, and so have many people that I know. I see it daily and only recently have I started being a voice for those who need it. 

 

Please comment and subscribe and upvote and do whatever it is that you do. I really appreciate all of your love and support and thank you so very much.