Dongwoon paced around in the band's dorm's living room. He bit his lip, stopped, glanced at the wall clock, started pacing again, and repeated the whole thing again from the beginning. Finally he moaned in annoyance and flopped to the couch, letting his head fall backwards. He listened to the few sounds there were around him: humming of the refrigerator in the kitchen, some kids laughing on the street outside, rain pouring down from the heavy asphalt grey clouds that covered the sky.

Dongwoon sighed as he raised his head and glanced at the clock for the umpteenth time within the last six hours. Four long hours he had spent pacing, running, dancing, surfing in the internet – doing anything that might calm him down even a little. It was no use, though. He was utterly, completely frustrated and nervous.

Sighing again, he flopped to lay on the couch, searching for the remote control. He knew there was a CD of theirs inside their DVD player, so he turned it on, and raised the volume near maximum. “I'm hurting, heal me, be crazy, can't let you go” he sang with Kikwang's voice “sad love song, my love's gone, please baby don't go far.”

Damn, it wasn't making him feel better, though Bad Girl usually cheered him up. BEAST's maknae kept singing, waving his hands around in small, sloppy gestures, mimicking their dance moves. He turned to lay on his stomach and buried his face into a pillow, still muffling words. Usually he was pretty good with handling his emotions and problems, and at the times he was lost, there were his hyungs helping him.

But not this time. Nope, not this time. This time was different. It was more serious than anything before, it was a matter of life and death.

Son Dongwoon was in love.

And why couldn't he tell his hyungs about this?

Because the one he loved was their leader, Doojoon. Damn, he wanted to die from embarrassment just from imagining the expression on Yoseob's face if he told the visual maknae about it. He would probably first be stunned, then happy, then victorious, and then smug. And forever about it.

Junhyung would probably poke fun at him and say he was silly. Hyunseung would be a little awkward and try to help him, but probably fail. The boy wasn't too good with emotional stuff, and he though he wanted to support everyone and be help for them, he was just very clumsy and got frustrated. So better not bother him. Then there was Kikwang, of course, but the dancer was such a romantic he'd probably be overjoyed to the limit of running on the streets screaming “Woonie and Doojoon are getting married!” and then stop to ask if the maknae had already told the leader.

The song changed, and Junhyung's voice started “yeah, love is pain, love is over”. Dongwoon jumped up from the couch, angry at the TV, and pointed the remote control at it. “Shut up!” he growled “it's not! I'm going to tell him, I am! Really!” However, this didn't seem to concern the singing box, since it continued “o-o-o-over love, break it” and headed to the chorus.

“I just need time!” Dongwoon defended himself from the song that now sang “you are full of mystery, mystery”. “I can't tell him now, we're in the middle of comeback, and the gig in London is coming up! I can't screw things up!”

“This is full of mystery, mystery” the TV kept singing. Dongwoon glared at the screen that showed him the track list, when Doojoon's voice started. “Look over here, look at me, I am right next to you”. The maknae's hand that wielded the dangerous remote control dropped, and he whined.

“I've noticed, hyung” he muttered, ruffling his hair. “I'm always looking at you, and you're always next to me, but you never notice me. It's not fair.” He sighed, listening to Kikwang's voice sing “the question you can't know, who do you think you are” and he followed his own voice: “making things hard for me”.

He knew Doojoon had to take care about everyone in the band, after all, he was the leader. But still – it seemed like that smiling face was always beside him, but he never got through. Of course they were good friends – very good – but it wasn't the same thing. He had been trying for months. Little hints here, some others there, notes with little hearts and a “good morning, hyung” on the table waiting for Doojoon to wake up when he was out jogging with Junhyung.

He knew Doojoon always woke up precisely at seven o'clock, while Seobie, Kiki and Seungie were the ones to sleep as long as possible. Doojoon would make breakfast, and when they'd come back from their morning run there would be either something traditional or Western style food waiting for them. Alongside with a giant pot of coffee.

The leader would smile at them, tell them they stink, and force them to go take a shower before they could get their hands on toast, eggs and other delicious stuff. And when he'd get out of shower, having dried himself and gotten his pants on and he'd enter the kitchen drying his hair with a half-assed attitude the older would approach him, laugh and snatch the towel from him. He then would ruffle his hair dry and pour him a cup of coffee, and laugh heartily at Junhyung, who would smirk and tell him he was more like a housewife than an idol.

Dongwoon let out a frustrated whine as he thought about these things. Little everyday touches, smiles, compliments, scolds when he left his shirt to the floor and didn't bother to pick it up. He enjoyed their alone time when they got it, but then again, it was a pain. Every time he was left alone with the leader he would smile and blabber about totally insignificant stuff, just to avoid silence.

It wasn't that silence wasn't comfortable. Actually, just the opposite. In Dongwoon's opinion, the best moments were the ones when they didn't talk. They would often just sit on the couch and watch a film, and in the end one of them would usually end up laying his head on the other's lap. They'd play with each other's fingers and smile, let out small laughs, and in the end probably fall asleep like that, fingers entwined and TV still on.

But the thing about silence was that he stared. If he kept talking like a madman, he had a a reason to look at Doojoon. It was normal to look at the one you were talking to, right? But if he fell silent, he had absolutely no excuses to keep looking at their gorgeous leader, imagining how it would feel to walk hand in hand with him, to brush his fingers through his soft hair, to sleep with his arms around him, to kiss-

At this point, Dongwoon shook his head and jumped up. “ENOUGH” he yelled to the TV that was now playing Beautiful to him. “This is enough! I am a man! And sometimes, a man's got to do what a man's got to do!”

And with this he dropped the remote control to the couch, stomped to a wooden door and slammed it open.

“Hyung!” Dongwoon called, and walked beside a bed covered with white sheets. He could see a bump lying on the bed, completely covered up by the blanket. The maknae took a deep breath and dropped to his knees.

“Hyung” he repeated, starting to play with his fingers nervously. “I have something to tell. Something I've wanted to say for a long time. Please, don't say anything before I'm finished.” He paused, trying to figure out how to continue. “I, um... I really enjoy being with you, I mean I enjoy your company, and I kind of have gotten the impression that you feel the same. About being with me. I really like our evenings together, I love it how I can just be silent with you. And still I keep blabbering. It's because I don't want you to see how I stare at you. It's embarrassing.” He paused again, wanting to smack himself. How stupid. Was he a 16-year-old girl suddenly?

He took another deep breath through his nose and let it out from between his lips. “You're special to me, Doojoon-hyung. Very special. I love you all – you, Kiki, Seobie, Hyung, Seungie – but there's this different feeling whenever I'm with you. And besides it, there's sadness. I feel like you don't even notice me.”

Dongwoon searched for words, then realized he had the way to tell. Just the right words. Doojoon had said them himself. Countless of times. “You know, I feel what you sing – 'look over here, look at me, I am right next to you'. I'm always right next to you, and you're always right next to me, but you never notice me. I want you to see me more than the others. And I want to... I want to do things with you that I don't want to do with the others.”

Carefully he lifted the blanket and brushed his finger against a smooth back. “Like this... Touching, and holding hands, and... Kissing...”

He reached out and grabbed a small body, holding it against his chest. “I love you, hyung. Please, love me too.” He then carefully pressed his lips against a smooth – and very hairy shoulder.

Dongwoon sighed and flopped to the floor, holding his favourite plushie in his arms. “This is no good, Robinson” he complained to the gigantic Labrador retriever that was almost bigger than the upper half of his body. “I'm never going to tell him. I sound ridiculous.”

He turned to his side, squeezing the toy tightly, and fell fast asleep, comforted by its artificial furs familiar smell – not noticing the very confused figure that had stood by his door for the last seven minutes he had been confessing his love to Robinson. The figure chuckled, shook his head and left for the kitchen, silently singing along with Special that was now playing.

Three hours later Dongwoon woke up to the smell of hot chocolate, and found himself from under a blanket. He sat up, and rubbed his eyes. Had the others come home? He glanced at his digital alarm clock, noticing the time was already past ten in the evening.

Yawning and stretching the boy made his way to the kitchen, finding a mug of hot chocolate on the table. He didn't know whose it was, but after taking a peek to the kettle he shrugged and thought that if there was more of it, it probably didn't matter if he drank a little. So he wrapped his fingers around the mug, about to raise it to his lips, but ended up yelping in surprise as a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

“Be careful, it's hot” said a familiar voice beside his ear. Dongwoon blushed. “Hyung!” he greeted “when did you get home? Are the others here? Did you have fun in the show- “

Suddenly, there was a hand clapped over his mouth, silencing him. He heard soft laughter. “Shut up, Woonie. There are more important things to talk about than the show. And as an answer to your second question, the others are at a hotel – they couldn't get through the fans from the TV station.”

Dongwoon was confused. What important things?

“Just say it, Woonie. I've been home for three and a half hours.”

The maknae blushed fiercely as he realized his whole confession had been heard and was looking for a good way of denying everything, when sweet words were silently sang to his ear: “look over here, look at me, I am right next to you”. He gulped, set the mug on the table again, and gathering the last pieces of his courage he blurt out:

“I love you, hyung.”

The arms around his waist suddenly spun him around, and he faced the smiling face of Doojoon. “Took you long enough. I love you too, Woonie.”

And without giving him a chance to close his mouth, the leader murmured gently: “no more mysteries” and kissed him gently.

A/N: Damn, I simply can't use this site... Hello, everyone, I'm Yeong! This is my first time posting to Asianfanfics, so please, be gentle, and tell me if I'm doing something wrong! I hope you like the story!