**1**

"Luhan, wake up dear. It's time for school."

I slowly opened my eyes and looked straight at my mother's face who was smiling at me. The sun peeking through my windows disrupted my sight a bit. I nodded at her, and after seeing my short response, her face suddenly tightened but didn't say anything else.

"After you've finished taking a bath, go downstairs and eat your breakfast." Then she left while slamming the door shut.

Long story short, my mom and I don't have a good relationship, that's why I need to watch the words I say and the things I do or she might go crazy on me.

It was Monday morning, which makes my mood sour. The birds aren't even chirping and the air was just humid that it made my skin feel sticky. Well, what could you expect from reality?

When I finished taking a bath, I went to my closet and pulled out my grey vans, a white t-shirt, a grey jacket and a pair of black pants. After I finished dressing up, I went downstairs to find my mom, dad, brother and sister laughing and conversing. But when they realized that I was already there, they went silent and carried on eating.

I didn't mind it at all.

I sat down beside my father who was reading the newspaper and I began to eat my cereal. I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't show him that I was beginning to get uncomfortable. "I heard that you failed in Chemistry and History."

I stopped eating and looked at my father. His expression was plain but his eyes were evident of disappointment. "Yes dad." I told him.

He sighed out of frustration, "How many times do I have to tell you to stop reading those damn comic books! Those are the reasons why you keep on flunking!"

I thought he was done but then my mom joined him, "And those ching-chong music that you keep on listening to! Can't you be more responsible?! You're already a teenager and you keep on acting like a child!"

I stood up which caused her to stop shouting. I picked up my bowl and went to the dishwasher.

Afterwards, I left the house without saying goodbye.

****

Surprisingly, the walk to school calmed down my nerves. This was the first time I walked because my dad would always drive me to school.

I just hope that everything would be okay once I go home because I don't like walking.

I heard birds chirping and the wind suddenly became cooler. The simple change brightened up my mood and lessened the heaviness of my heart.

When I arrived at school, there were only a few people which is a good thing because it means that I wasn't late.

The persons who recognized me, greeted me with a smile. It was so touching to know how some small things can actually make a big change.

"Good morning." I simply greeted them back. I'm not actually a loner or a wallflower. To be honest, I actually have a lot of friends and believe it or not, I was known to be one of the most cheerful students at school.

I made my way to our classroom, it was a good thing that my teacher entrusted me the key. But it sometimes because I can't afford to be late at all.

"Hi Luhan." Turning around, I saw my best friend Sehun smiling down to me. Yes, he is taller than me which because he always reminds me of it.

"You're early today." I told him with a chuckle.

"You think so lowly of me, you know." He replied with a smile.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but every single time he smiles at me, it's like I can see the bright side of every dark situation.

"Are you okay?" Sehun asked. I shook my head not wanting him to know that I was thinking about his smile.

"Hmm, okay. But always remember that in your darkest hour your classmates and I will always be here to support you." He reassured me.

Sehun was the type of guy that girls would go crazy over. He has a strong jaw line, his lips are small and would form the cutest pout at most times, his eyes were piercing and strong but once he smile or laughs his eye smile would immediately show. He was tall and slim. His arms were a bit muscled yet his legs weren't. His figure was to die for, well according to girls that is. He is also an amazing dancer and even though he looks serious and scary most of the time, he's actually a very funny and cheerful guy to be with. His playful personality makes you feel comfortable.

Wow, I sounded like I actually have feelings for him.

****

When I already opened our classroom, Sehun immediately went to his chair in the front row, and I followed him because we were seatmates.

He sat down and began to rummage through his bag.

The room was silent.

Sehun was still searching inside his bag so I decided to go outside our classroom to get some fresh air.

It was a cloudy day, which explains the chilly wind. I clutched my jacket.

The sweet scent of honey suddenly overcame my sense of smell. I turned around and saw Sehun smiling at me mischievously while holding a piece of pie, "It's still early and I haven't eaten breakfast yet. So, you want to share with me?"

I laughed at his cute reaction, "Of course, my parents always told me to accept blessings."

The both of us told stories while eating his honey pie. He told me all about his sister and how she annoys him sometimes but he still loves him. And I would tell him all about the new comic books I've bought from the weekend.

Sehun was the reason why I've had a soft spot from comic books. One day I was sitting quietly on a bench drinking bubble tea when he suddenly approached me.

It was him who gave me my first comic book, and it was I who gave him his first bubble tea.

He suddenly stopped talking and looked at me seriously, "So Luhan, you've been with girls a few times already, right?"

"What do you mean?"

He laughed uncomfortably, "Um, never mind. Forget I ever said anything." Then he flashed me one of his charming smiles. Well, there's the bright side to every dark situation.

****

The day went by slowly; I hung out with my friends while stealing secret glances of Sehun.

All in all, my day was good, except for the part when I go home.

"And where do you think you're going?" My mom's voice stopped me from going up to my room. I still had my back on her. It was the same routine every night.

"How could you act so rebellious like this morning? Is that what we taught you? You are becoming a disrespectful child! Look at your friends; they look so respectful of their parents. And what are you going to do when you're in your room? Read comics? Listen to ching-chong music?"

"I'm not the only one who reads comics and listens to that ching-chong music you keep on insulting!" I shouted back at her. I know I shouldn't have done that because in that moment she slapped me.

The house became quiet. My brother and sister who were bickering on the other room became quiet.

My dad who was singing with the radio in the kitchen also became quiet. I looked at my mom while holding my right cheek. She was looking at her hand, clearly surprised at what she has done.

"Are you done?" I hate my stupid mouth sometimes.

Well that clearly made her come back to her sense because her expression hardened and her eyes were raging with anger, "I have never felt so disappointed in you. You will never have a bright future if you keep on doing that. And as for your friends? Yes, they might be doing the same things like you, but they still concentrate on their academics, but you? I don't know. I don't know anymore."

****

The night passed by like a breeze.

I didn't go down to eat dinner because I know that my mom and probably my dad too are still mad at me.

It was a good thing I ate a sandwich before I got home.

The house was already silent which means everyone is asleep.

I'm a guy. And guys don't cry, right? I sighed while snuggling through my comforter.

Maybe this nightmare will go away tomorrow.

***

When I woke up, the house was still silent.

I took a bath and afterwards went downstairs.

"Where is everyone?" I asked our maid.

"They already left." She told me while wiping the windows.

I nodded at her and proceeded to eat my breakfast.

The walk to school wasn't calming as it was like yesterday.

The birds were chirping and the wind was still chilly though.

Looking back at what happened last night, I should've said sorry. But I guess I'm too late for today because they already left. At least I still have a chance to say it to them tonight.

I just hope mom and especially my dad forgives me.

I really don't like walking to school anymore.

***

Our English teacher gave us a group work today.

I really don't like group works because I prefer to work alone.

"Okay, what we're going to do is a drama concerning about the common family problems." Suho, our class president and leader of the group said.

The ache in my heart suddenly came back to me and I think I was even near to tears.

Everyone was busy giving around ideas.

No one noticed I was silent because they were all too wrapped with theirselves.

This is a good thing though, so that no one would bother me.

Sehun who was beside me was busy laughing and giving goofy ideas causing everyone to laugh.

I, on the other hand, didn't even chuckle.

And again, no one noticed my change of mood.

At these times, when Sehun would joke and everyone would laugh, I would glare at him jokingly and say, "Shame on you for telling such a lame joke."

When the period ended and lunch hour began, my classmates were still joking around. I decided to join them so they wouldn't wonder what's wrong with me.

"Luhan? Mr. Lee would like to talk to you in the school faculty." Kris, a classmate of mine told me.

No one bothered to ask why because they were already used to me being asked to the faculty room.

I sighed knowing that Mr. Lee would talk to me again about my grades.

The walk to the faculty room was nerve-wracking. I never felt this way with my first visits, but now I actually felt horrified and scared.

"Good morning sir." I greeted.

Mr. Lee gave me a faint smile, "Take a seat Luhan." I nodded and sat down on the chair in front of him.

"What happened?" He calmly asked me.

I shook my head. Why do I feel like crying? I didn't trust my voice right now because I know that I would probably cry in that moment. Man, I was acting like a girl.

"Luhan, you are a very talented and handsome boy. You can sing, act and dance. The stories you contribute for the school paper are amazing. You have everything. You have a supportive family and loving friends, what more could you ask for?"

I stayed silent.

"What's really bothering you? Why are your grades suddenly this low?"

I gulped, "I read comics... and listen to Korean music almost all of the time."

"Still?"

I nodded. "That's why I don't study sometimes or do my projects..."

Mr. Lee stayed silent, probably thinking of what to reply.

"Luhan, there's nothing wrong with reading comic books or listening to Korean music. But you need to learn how to manage those and your studies. You need to reset your mind. This is your last semester in school, after this you'll graduate and go to college. You still have a chance."

I nodded at him while giving him a sad smile. "Promise me that you'll do your very best this last semester and reset your mind, okay? Reset your mind."

"Yes sir. Um, can I leave now?"

He was about to say yes but then he suddenly changed his mind, "I have one more thing to ask you Luhan. Your classmates were here earlier and they told me that you like... boys?"

"WHAT? No sir! I'm straight! I was just joking whenever I act all lovey-dovey with Sehun!"

You might all be wondering why Mr. Lee asked me that.

It's because Sehun and I have a reputation of acting gays sometimes. And last week, this girl came to Sehun and confessed to her, I jokingly told him that I was jealous and all.

"Good. I know that you aren't. You're a handsome boy, Luhan. Don't let it go to waste. You can leave now but I have one last message for you." He said with a sad face that I could feel the hairs on my body stand up.

***

After saying my goodbye to Mr. Lee, I made my way back to the classroom.

A million thoughts were flooding my mind, but I was only concentrated on one thing, "Who told Mr. Lee that I was gay?"

I decided not to go back to the classroom yet. So I just stayed and sat on the stairs behind the math building.

It's a good thing though that no teacher ever goes here. I crouched down and put my head in between my knees.

My mind was so confused. I was hurt, angry and sad at the same time. But I don't even know why.

Maybe it was because of my destroyed relationship with my family, or the thought that my friends somehow betrayed me in a way.

So I did what any boy would be horrified to do.

I cried my heart out.

But it wasn't those kinds of cries where you would be wailing. I was simply crying hard without making a sound.

I cried and then stopped for a while and think. The cycle went on for a while.

After 30 minutes of sobbing, I finally decided to go back to our classroom.

I wiped my face with my already drenched handkerchief, but I didn't bother to straighten up my uniform and my hair.

When I opened the door, everyone was quiet for a minute but when it registered to their minds that it was only me, they returned back to their businesses.

And you know what hurt me the most? It was the fact that Sehun lied about his promise about them supporting me in my darkest hour.

I looked around for Sehun, and when I did saw him, he was laughing with a classmate of ours, Jongin.

I smiled bitterly to myself and went to my chair.

"Hey Luhan! You look like you're on drugs!" Tao, a classmate of mine joked at my red and puffy eyes. For a second there, the melancholy in my heart disappeared and smiled a little at him, but after a while, it came back again.

No one bothered to talk to me for the rest of the day. When they do talk to me, they were treating me as if I was grenade that was going to blow up any moment.

I didn't let those actions bother me. The perks of being a boy? You can easily mask your expressions and act like you're okay.

I saw Sehun smile, but now I can't see the bright side of this dark situation.