30. YEOBO ALWAYS

Jonghyun closed his eyes but his toes kept moving in response to my touch. I kept rubbing his toes while the doctor checked him. He was asked to concentrate to open his eyes, or move his fingers. Jonghyun fluttered his eyes lids and wiggled his fingers in response.

I was asked by the nurse to leave the ICU and wait outside. I informed puppy before leaving, “I am just outside ok. Don’t worry. The doctor just wants to complete his check up. I am waiting outside only.”

Jonghyun’s father got worried when he saw me crying. I smiled at him and told him that Jonghyun was awake. Not fully, but still awake. He laughed and hugged me to him in joy. I hugged him back. I called uncle and imo and gave them the good news. I could hear everyone whooping in joy in the background. Minki took the phone from imo.

“Ummappa I want to talk to ajeossi.”

“He is still not well enough to talk baby. How about tomorrow?”

“I miss you both. When are you coming home? I want him to read a story to me. I am sleepy.”

“We miss you too baby. We’ll be home as soon as puppy is well again. He will read you extra stories when he is back home. Why don’t you ask Soo unni to tell you a story?”

“Ummappa I want to you. I cannot sleep without you and ajeossi,” she whispered. I could just imagine her taking the phone into a corner of the room or going into the bedroom, away from everyone else. She was one very smart girl.

“Baby we will be back very soon. You can sleep with us again then. Very soon baby. I love you and ajeossi also sends you lots of love and kisses.” I blew her kisses on the phone.

She giggled and gave the phone to imo. Imo urged me to eat something. She reminded me that I needed to keep up my strength to help puppy recover fully. I hummed in response and ended the call.

Jonghyun’s father was still talking on his phone. I updated puppy’s superintendent.

Unable to contain my happiness, I went to the nursing station and picked up the nurse from her seat and danced with her before kissing both her cheeks in thanks. She pinched my cheeks.

The doctor called me inside. I quickly peeked at puppy. He was sleeping again. The doctor told me if there were no problems, then the next day they would transfer Jonghyun to a private room. I smiled happily and spent a few minutes with my puppy telling him how much I loved him and everything else the doctor had told me.

When I went outside, my hunger and thirst made themselves known for the first time since I’d reached the hospital. Taking my bag from the nurse’s station I rooted around till I located the food and juices. I offered them to Jonghyun’s father and the nurse as well. For me it was a celebratory feast. My puppy was awake and on road to recovery.

Next day as predicted by the resident doctor, puppy was moved to a private room. No one could now tell me to stay away from him.

Once in the room, first thing I did was to take out the thin red elastic string that imo had brought the day before on my request. I tied one end to puppy’s destiny ring and put the ring back on his finger. I measured ten feet and cut the string, tying the other end to my destiny ring.

“See puppy, there is no way now anyone can keep us apart. I have made the invisible red string of fate, visible. We will be together always. Always my love.” I whispered to puppy as he kept sleeping.

His father sat in the chair and watched my actions. I was beyond caring for anyone’s thoughts or actions. All that mattered to me was keeping my puppy with me in any way possible.

When his surgeons came for a visit, they looked at the string with raised brows, but kept silent. They must be used to much stranger actions from other patients’ families. They reduced his pain medication to make him wake up fully once. They told me that the main thing I had to keep a note of was the exudates from his chest tubes. It shouldn’t change color. I nodded my head in understanding. I knew red tinge would indicate internal bleeding and yellow would indicate infection.  

I held puppy’s hand and constantly talked to him while I waited for the reduced medication to have effect. It did.

Late afternoon, he opened his eyes finally.

“Oh puppy you are awake. Oh my god you are finally awake. I love you so much. How are you feeling love? Can you talk? Say something love.”

“Yeobo,” he whispered with difficulty.

“I love you so much puppy.” I kissed him all over his face. “Are you in pain? Should I get the pain killer for you? Are you thirsty?”

He mouthed thirsty. I put a few drops of water on his lips which I had kept moist by applying lip balm. I put another small sip of water in his mouth.

“Love, your father is also here. He is on the other side of your bed.”

His father spoke briefly with him. Puppy responded by either blinking his eyes or squeezing my fingers.

His eyes motioned me nearer to him. I put my face near to his.

“Love you toki.”

“I love you too puppy. Always and forever. Minki also sent her love to you. Lots. And kisses also.” I kissed his face many times again.

He tried to smile.

“She also sent hugs, but I will hold them in safekeeping for now. She also has a list of demands for you, starting with permission to visit you here soon and ending with reading her lots of bed time stories.”

He mouthed “minx.”

“Recover soon for your minx. She is waiting everyday for you at home. We love you puppy. We need you in our lives to complete us.”

He began to smile then grimaced. I pressed the button to call the nurse. He needed his pain medication. The nurse came and called the doctor.

Doctor asked puppy many questions, to which he responded by blinking his eyes. Satisfied, doctor ordered pain meds to be given to puppy. As puppy slept again, I was assured he would wake up again soon as the pain meds had been changed to the non-sedative variety. His sleep was the effect of the old medications.

Jonghyun’s father went home to rest. I sat by puppy’s side keeping my vigil over him and our destiny, touching his hair, holding his hand, just keeping connected to him.

When Minki returned from school, I called her.

“Minki do you want to meet ajeossi?”

“Yes ummappa. Is he better now?”

“He is better than before, but will need to stay in the hospital for a few more days before he can come home.”

“Did you tell him that I am praying he comes home soon like imo-halmeoni taught me?”

“I did baby. Minki can I ask you something?”

“What ummappa?”

“Do you want ajeossi to become your appa?”

“Will he want to when I am not his daughter?”

“He already thinks of you as his daughter. He wants to become your appa. Do you want him to?”

“Yes, yes, yes. When ummappa when?

“Are you sure baby? Really sure? He cannot go back to being your ajeossi ever again once you make him your father. Being your father he can scold you like I do. Is that okay with you?”

“Will he scold me a lot?”

“Nah baby, I am kidding. Knowing him, he will spoil you rotten and leave all the scolding to me. Evil puppy.”

“Ummappa he is not evil. Imo says he is the sweetest lapdog.”

“What else does she say minx?”

“That we are a zoo.”

“Eh?”

“You are a rabbit, he is a puppy and I am a kitten.”

We talked and giggled like two little girls. I missed my baby. But there was no way I could leave my puppy alone to be with her.

Jonghyun’s work colleagues visited him again. This time happy to be able to see him.

In the evening, puppy’s mother came. I really wish I had not cleaned up my language. If anyone deserved to be called sob it was my puppy. I smiled to myself at my silly joke. I was eating my food when she entered the room and looked at me like I was a bug that had crawled under her nose. I continued eating.

“I am here now. You can leave. I will take care of my son.”

I ignored her.

“Get out of the room now. I don’t want you here. I can take care of my son.”

I kept eating sitting in my chair that I had pulled up near to the head of the bed. If I got up, I knew I would give up my strategic advantage as the room had only one chair. She stood near puppy’s bed for a while before going to sit on the attendant’s couch which was a few feet away.

Puppy woke up just as I was finishing my last mouthful. He saw my cheeks full of food and smiled. I quickly swallowed.

“Hey puppy, welcome to the land of the awake. Thirsty?”

I put my juice straw in his lips and he drew a small sip. I gave him a few small sips of water. We smiled and he mouthed “yeobo” again. His mother approached him. He looked at her and his eyes expressed surprise.

I held his hand and lightly squeezed in reassurance, letting him know I was by his side always, he was not alone. He squeezed my fingers back. We began playing a game of squeezing while his mother talked to him.

His father and brother entered the room along with the senior doctor. I wanted to get up but puppy held my hand and wouldn’t let go. The doctor smiled at that.

“Jonghyun-ssi, use that will to recover. All your signs are good. If all goes well, you can go home in ten days. Are you in pain somewhere?”

“Hurts to talk.” Puppy whispered.

“That will be okay in a few days. You are one very lucky man. Welcome to your second life.”

I began shooting questions at the doctor. When could he begin eating? If he could be given water or juices to drink? Were there any signs of complications? And more.

Doctor responded to all of them. And his mother had one of her own to ask.

Could she stay with Jonghyun instead of me?

Doctor looked at her in surprise and told her it was a personal matter of the family. Jonghyun’s hand tightened around mine.

He whispered, “Toki. I want toki.”

“I am not going anywhere. I am here with you.” I tried to calm him.

“You stay. Want you to stay. Not her.”

“I am going to stay with you no matter what anyone says. No one can keep me away. Don’t worry. Always with you.” I showed him my ring with the red string tied to it.

He smiled.

Doctor turned to his mother, “It seems he has made his choice of who he wants to stay with him.”

“No. He is still under the influence of his medicines. I am his mother. I will stay with him.”

“Toki.”

“You ungrateful boy. You have no idea how much you are embarrassing me by choosing this, this being over your own mother.”

I spoke to her then, “Ahjumma, please do not upset him. It’s a miracle that he is with us right now. I will not let you upset him in anyway. If you so badly want to stay with him, you can sleep on the couch. I am anyway not going to leave this chair.”

Doctor intervened too by turning to Jonghyun’s father, “How are you related to him?”

“I am his father.”

“I suggest you ask your wife to remain silent and not upset the patient in anyway. He needs a calm, stress-free environment to recuperate well. If she continues to upset the patient, I will ban her entry into the room.”

His father nodded. His mother also was shocked into silence at the doctor’s words. Doctor took his leave.

I sat down in my chair again, kissed puppy’s hand and whispered in his ear, “I am not leaving you puppy. I love you. Don’t worry. No matter what anyone says, I will leave here only with you by my side. Now, smile for me sweet puppy.”

He responded by smiling. He drank some more water and a few sips of juice as well. His father spoke with him. He responded in a word or two. And then his mother and brother talked with him. Puppy closed his eyes while they were speaking and pretended to fall asleep. I knew he was faking it. His hand kept squeezing mine.

Uncle and imo came too. I got up and gave my chair to imo so she could sit with him. She kissed his cheeks on behalf of the girls and his forehead from her side. Then she his hair while she asked him to come home soon as she missed her coffee partner. Puppy smiled at that.

Imo had brought roses with her. She handed them to me and told puppy that next time he wanted her to give him flowers he should just ask, landing in the hospital was a little extreme method of demanding flowers.

Noticing him holding my hand, she told him about the red string I had tied to our rings. She gathered some of the string and showed it to him.

He mouthed “yeobo” and I mouthed “always”.

And we smiled.