There is something about Baekhyun today that makes her giddy.

The festival is six days away and the whole class is staggering under a heavy pressure. Baekhyun keeps on walking around and distributing what they had asked him to buy. His eyes aren’t as happy as they were today, Kaeru wonders if Baekhyun is also nervous about the festival.

While Baekhyun busies himself with the errands they give him, his mind was loaded with lots and lots and lots and lots of Kaeru. As much as the dictionary would like to define this as mere obsession, Baekhyun believes that this is love. Capital L, lowercase O, V and E.

Well, in Baekhyun’s case, this is probably capitals L-O-V and E. Underlined and bolded and italicized.

Kaeru’s eyes follow Baekhyun wherever he goes. There is something definitely different— and somewhat, wrong— about him that day.

Ah, maybe it’s because Baekhyun’s hair that was usually down and fluffy is combed upwards and looks absolutely good on him today. Or maybe it’s because Kaeru haven’t heard Baekhyun’s puerile punch line of I love you yet. Or maybe because— hold it right there, Kaeru.

Kaeru asks herself, completely perplexed of what’s going on in her mind. Is she going mad now? Is she actually thinking that Baekhyun looks good in messy hair, plus, his serious face? Is she actually waiting for Baekhyun to tell her that he loves her over and over again like usual?

She shakes her head and ruffles her own hair. This is wrong, she thinks.

Well, everything has been wrong since Baekhyun said that line that put her insides in a churn. You should just fall in love with me, you know?

She should have expected such a ridiculous ‘command’ from Baekhyun. She should have, but somehow, Baekhyun caught her off-guard that day and somehow, she’s awfully bothered about it. It was unnerving.

Seeing the discomforted look on Kaeru’s face, Baekhyun thinks that she should lighten up her mood by pissing pleasing her with his usual routine. And no, Baekhyun isn’t kidding at all.

“Kaeru~” Baekhyun chimes to her and sits beside her. She looks at him in surprise and suddenly her mind goes blank. Baekhyun puts his hand around her and smiles “Are you bothered by me not paying attention, Kaeruru?”

“Please don’t put your filthy hands around me,” she sarcastically pleads and then once Baekhyun removes his hands, she speaks again, “But, yes, I am absolutely bothered and also I am completely going mad! I mean, I don’t even know why I’m terribly bothered by you not being you.”

“As long as I know that I love you, I am the usual me.” Baekhyun says with a childish grin, but his eyebrows creases and they reveal his confusions.

Kaeru shrugs her shoulders and says, “Well, you are, but— Ugh, I don’t even know anymore. Don’t mind me.”

Baekhyun stays on the same pose for a while, staring at her in a weird look and then he laughs all of a sudden. Kaeru knits her brows together and asks him what his problem was. Baekhyun pinches her nose and touches her forehead with his. He says in a gentle voice, “You’re probably in love with me—”

Kaeru pulls back and sighs. She hesitantly admits, “Well, that possibility did cross my mind. For a while, I thought I might be in love with you that’s why I’m extremely pissed why you haven’t been your normal self towards me today but,” she cackles, “I can’t imagine myself loving you so maybe no.”

Baekhyun stares at her and suddenly he feels extremely thankful for her blunt honesty. It’s weird though, Baekhyun tells himself, she’s this blunt but he still can’t figure out what exactly she is thinking about. Or for instance, what she thinks of Baekhyun.

Maybe she was dense? Maybe she’s running away from the truth? Maybe she just finds Baekhyun another stepping stone to reach Taekshin’s heart? Who for the sake of Baekhyun’s love knows?

Baekhyun stands up immediately when his classmate calls out his name, needing assistance. Kaeru watches his back slowly face her as he walks towards the opposite direction.

She feels incomplete though. It feels like there’s something chipped off her daily dose of life.

Just when she finally let out a deep sigh, her thoughts get messed up again as Baekhyun yells, “Kaeru!”

“What?!” she counters angrily.

“You fall in love when you accept the person, not when you imagine being with them,” Baekhyun grins sheepishly. In which she responds with a nervous chuckle and a firm reply, “What nonsense are you spewing!”

“It translates to I love you,” Baekhyun mouths, beaming at her his crescent eyes and high cheekbones.

For a moment there, she felt her lips crack up into a small smile of relief.

Four days until their festival and Baekhyun is restless. Staying up until midnight and helping out when asked to, were enough factors to tire out Baekhyun completely. His shoulders are dropped down and his eyes have dark bags underneath. Running around and attending to errands isn’t an easy job, is it?

Today, Baekhyun ends up buying materials for a popcorn stall alone because Kaeru was asked by the others to borrow some cleaning materials from the storage room. Holding a box using his right arm against his hips and slinging two plastic bags his left arm, he sure is pretty strong, huh?

He surges towards the school grounds, loaded with materials he bought. As he arrives at the senior building, he sees a familiar figure standing at the empty court. Baekhyun remembers all of a sudden how this court, that was absolutely filthy and disgusting, miraculously became clean one day.

Baekhyun hides himself behind a wall and glues his back firmly. He tilts his head to get a better investigation of Kaeru, whom he caught standing alone and silent. He wonders to himself, “I thought she was going to borrow cleaning materials, what is she doing here?”

Then, as if he was psychic, another person speaks and his presence alone answers Baekhyun’s cluelessness indirectly.

“I’m really sorry but I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Taekshin bows to Kaeru. Baekhyun slams himself on the wall while making sure it doesn’t make a loud sound. He looks over the corner of his eyes and sees Taekshin leaning on the wall with a stick of cigarette between his fingers is facing Kaeru, who sits on the ground so comfortably to the extent of hugging her knees like she’s in her own house.

Baekhyun lets out an inaudible sigh and glides down his back down the wall. He realizes that moment how he and Kaeru are terrifyingly similar. She is almost as insistent as Baekhyun, except that Baekhyun is a lot stronger than her and she is a lot braver than him. And Baekhyun believes there’s a large line differentiating strong and brave.

He’s been hated. He’s been sworn at. He’s been hurt. He’d been ridiculed. But he’s strongly waiting, strongly holding on and standing up over and over again. Because that’s how strong Byun Baekhyun is. And she knows that. She is very much aware of that. Kaeru is the only person who knows that fact really well as she witnessed him becoming stronger day by day. That’s why she thinks it’s unfair.

Right now, they both say to themselves, “Why can’t I fall in love with someone who won’t hurt me?”

Baekhyun chuckles to himself and thinks, “Probably because I chose to fall in love with her and I don’t think I want to do anything about it.”

After drifting from their thoughts and staying silent for a while, Taekshin grabs both Kaeru and Baekhyun’s attention back to reality. Though Kaeru isn’t aware of Baekhyun’s presence coinciding with hers, Taekshin is well-informed of it.

“Kaeru, I’m your teacher and you’re one of the most valued students here,” Taekshin says without any guilt in his voice nor are there any hesitations.

“I don’t like pushing my feelings to others, but,” Kaeru finally lets out the words that were stuck in , “Why can’t it be me? I can love you more than what you deserve.”

He shakes his head and says dully, “But, I can’t, Kaeru.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Because I’m— I’m in love with another person,”

Kaeru looks at him, “I know that! I know you are, and I accepted it. Even if I don’t have the slightest clue who she is!”

He looks at her and lets out a burdened sigh. Taekshin sits on the ground and gives up, “I’ll tell you but then, you’ll have to keep it from everyone else.”

“Do what you want,” Kaeru says, “It’s not in my nature to hide someone else’s secret.”

“I know you are a very honest person,” Taekshin smiles at her genuinely and continues, “But this is a secret nobody knows except me and that person and I trust you this much to tell you something this risky.”

“Why do you want to tell it to me? Why do you have to reach such desperation?” Kaeru asks him with a shaky voice. Baekhyun hears her and he knows she is already in the verge of tears. He wants to in into their heating-up discussion and pull her away and assure her that everything’s going to be alright. And nobody would understand how bad Baekhyun wants to promise her that everything’s going to be just fine. But he stops himself as he hears another word escape .

“To reach such lengths, you want me to give up so badly, don’t you?” she says, almost as normal as how she usually talks.

Baekhyun doesn’t know what he should feel that time. He’s not sure if he should support her in her love because even if he wants to act cool and accept his love’s happiness selflessly, it surely wouldn’t cause him just a mere heartbreak. It will cost him a million tears and endless days of regret. But it was never in Baekhyun’s characteristics to be selfish.

Taekshin smiles slightly and bows down lowly, “I’m sorry.”

Kaeru’s words were stuck in , making her choke and laugh it off bitterly. Taekshin steps nearer in attempt to help her, not knowing that she would just slap his innocent but insensitive intentions away. He steps back in tremor and is terribly in the verge of reminding her that he was her teacher. But he just sighs as he realizes that she isn’t actually at fault and she’s not really herself right now.

“Forget it,” she laughs as she waves her hand off. She dashes away from Taekshin and Baekhyun runs after her. The next thing Baekhyun knows is that she is already held captive in his arms.

What hurt her the most at that moment is that she actually waited for Taekshin to run after her. She actually waited even if she was rejected twenty seconds ago. She actually waited.

She’s such a fool. But in Baekhyun’s arms, she was the bravest one.

It seemed that Baekhyun, in impulse, threw down the materials to run after her. And we can conclude somebody’s going to get some serious responsibility scolding later.

But for now, Baekhyun can only think about her broken self and how he feels terrible for another person’s pain.

And how that person’s pain exists because of another person.

And how painful Baekhyun’s one-sided love is.

She realizes it was Baekhyun who caught her in the most horrible state and somehow, she feels at ease. She doesn’t put her hands around Baekhyun, though. Kaeru doesn’t hug him back, thinking that it might be the cruelest thing she might do. She might find herself causing him to raise his hopes up when there’s actually nothing to look forward to.

But will it really be nothing if Baekhyun had hoped?

The only thing her conscience allowed her to do is bury her face into his chest and let Baekhyun embrace her in the warmest confinement. Baekhyun knows this as much as she does and he rests his chin on her head. He smiles, “It’s been hard on both of us, hasn’t it?”

Though in normal consequences, one wouldn’t laugh at an offensive joke about a painful heartbreak thrown at him but somehow, Kaeru finds herself smiling. And even agreeing to Baekhyun’s idiotic logic.

She nods and then says sternly all of a sudden, “Baekhyun, this is bad.”

“What is? Cuddling each other? Being lovey-dovey?” he jests.

“No, you moron,” she sniffs a bit and chuckles.

Baekhyun combs his fingers through her hair and asks, “Mm… I wonde