fortynine
Yes, I'm HeroIndex:
(YJ) – Young Jae speaking
(DH) – Daehyun speaking
(DH) – Daehyun speaking
(BY) – Yongguk speaking
(JU) – Jongup speaking
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Sitting behind bars was a man who may be alive, but held no life in his eyes. Almost no movement escaped from this man as he stared blankly at the ground before him. One could have mistaken him for dead if it wasn’t for the light movements he made from his breathing. For this man, nothing in the world mattered anymore. His hasty actions and need for revenge only brought upon pain and suffering for not only those he cared about, but for himself as well. The man that he had done all of this for had turned his back on him and now, he didn’t know what to do with himself.
Kyungsoo lost all interest in life itself. Why bother with anything if Baekhyun, the one he finally realized was the man he wanted to love, would no longer love him back? It was his fault, he knew that. Constantly hiding from him, meeting with him only in private and then acting like he didn’t exist? It was amazing how Baekhyun was even able to love him the way he did. Of course, that didn’t matter now. Because of his actions, because of the fact that he had killed Baekhyun’s cousin, well… there was no winning that battle.
A single spark did light up in him, however.
He hadn’t intentionally killed Taehyung. It was during a struggle and he had no control over the gun. In fact, it was just as much that other man’s fault as it was his. Though even with this newfound knowledge, he knew that the court wouldn’t listen to any of it and even if they did, he doubted that Baekhyun would too. So, any determination that wanted to fight back had been immediately stepped on and erased from existence.
Thus, the dim lights in his eyes had once again been extinguished.
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It was already late in the afternoon when Young Jae had been called to his father’s office. He had been avoiding Daehyun as much as possible to avoid getting his hopes up, but now he wished he had Daehyun’s support at this very moment. He didn’t want to know what his father was going to say to him, but he was ready to face him. No matter what his father had to say, no matter what he was going to do, Young Jae had to stand up to it and not back down. If he could do that, then maybe, just maybe, he would be able to stand on his own two feet for once.
Taking in a deep breath, Young Jae took a hold of the door handle before pausing. Was he ready to do this? Sure, he had already turned the cogs and it was too late to turn back, but Young Jae couldn’t help but doubt himself time and time again. Worry and fear were constantly tackling against his resolve to move forward, but one way or another, he was going to have to ignore it.
Before he could let himself run away, he forced himself to turn the doorknob and enter the room. Almost instantly, his eyes landed on the form of his father, whom was currently standing by the window. His father’s back was turned towards him, but he always had that strong and stern look that always seemed to manage to get him to falter. Even then, he wasn't going to let it get to him. Closing the door behind him, Young Jae hid his emotions away as he made his way over to his father’s desk with determination. Coming to a stop in between the two chairs that stood in front of the desk, Young Jae folded his hands behind his back before straightening out his posture. “You called for me, father?” (YJ)
Silence ensued as Young Jae waited nervously for his father to respond. Part of him wanted to just run away and pretend that he never came here in the first place, but the other part of him was urging him to stay put and wait for his father’s verdict. “Father…?” (YJ)
“Young Jae… Sit.” Without any hesitation, Young Jae quickly sat down into one of the chairs as he straightened his position. His whole body was stiff and for whatever reason, he was holding his breath. However, to his surprise, once his father had turned around, he could see that he wasn’t angry nor did he have any sort of disappointment on his face. Sure, he just seemed calm, but considering what his father most likely heard, it was surprising to see him like this. “Your mother told me what you wanted. Are you sure about this?”
As his father took a moment to sit in his chair, Young Jae hesitated. Determination was important, but saying the right things was just as important. Letting out the air that he had been holding in this entire time, he took in a deep breath before moving up to the edge of his seat. “I’m sure.” (YJ)
“I see…” Clearing his throat a bit, Young Jae’s father leaned back in his seat with his hands folded. “I have decided that…”
“Sir!” As his father looked over to where someone had rudely barged into his office, Young Jae jumped a bit as he turned around to see whom it was. It was one of his father’s informants, though he was usually much more professional than this which could only mean that this must’ve been important. “I-I apologize for the intrusion, but Master Kyungsoo has been detained.”
“What?!” Getting up from his seat, he took a step forward before looking at Young Jae. Straightening out his clothes a bit, Young Jae’s father walked around the desk and placed a hand on Young Jae’s shoulder before giving it a light squeeze. “I give you permission. Now… don’t tell your mother what has happened with Kyungsoo until after I sort through it. Understand?”
Young Jae gave a small nod, though he was still a bit confused as to whether to be happy or worried. As his father and his informant left the room, Young Jae leaned back in his seat as he tried to sort out his emotions. He was happy that his father gave him permission to date Daehyun, that much was certain, but he was also worried about Kyungsoo’s situation now. Sure, Kyungsoo wasn’t exactly brother of the year, but that didn’t mean that he shouldn’t worry about his well-being. Well… maybe it did, but as long as he was related to Kyungsoo, it was probably best to put any differences they had to the side.
Getting up from his seat, Young Jae began walking. He wanted to tell his mother of what had happened, specifically more about his father’s approval, but he knew he’d end up revealing what he had learned of Kyungsoo in the process. Young Jae doubted that his mother didn’t already know with Hyunki around, but it was probably best to play it safe for now. Still… he could at least talk to Daehyun about all of this.
With a nod, Young Jae decided to do just that.
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The house was coming into view now, but it was difficult to find the right words and feelings. Jongup was happy to be home, that much was true, but he was also sad that he had just lost a friend. He didn’t know if Daehyun knew Taehyung that much, but… Jongup still wanted to talk to Daehyun about it. Would it be okay though? Daehyun’s probably been worried about him this entire time and he didn’t want to end up making Daehyun sad or feel bad when they had just reunited.
Turning his head, he looked at Zelo, whom was currently looking out the window. Despite how Yongguk and Zelo had reunited, they at least seemed happy and relieved to be back together, so maybe it’ll be the same way with him and Daehyun. Jongup wanted to remain positive, but it was a little difficult to do so. “Alright. Go on inside, Jongup. I’ll drop Zelo off at home.” (BY)
Jongup looked at Yongguk and nodded before taking a hold of the door handle. As he opened the car door, he looked at Zelo for a moment. He could see the uncertainty in his eyes, but Zelo seemed to be holding out strong as he gave a smirk and a thumb up. Once Jongup smiled in turn, he stepped out of the car and closed the door before making his way around to the back. Taking his things out of the trunk of the car, he took let out a small huff before he made his way up the steps.
Once he put his things on the ground, Jongup reached up before knocking on the door. He didn’t really know if they would hear it, but it just felt comfortable. Plus, he may or may not have forgotten that there was a doorbell available. Well, it didn’t really matter which method he had gone with. Jongup didn’t have to wait much longer before the front door opened and one of the servants appeared at the door. The servant stared for a moment before smiling and moving out of the way. “Welcome back, sir. It’s good to see you safe.”
He was a little confused at first, but Jongup grinned nonetheless as he picked up his things and made his way inside. Once the door was closed, the servant helped Jongup with his things before leading him upstairs towards his room. Entering Jongup’s room, the servant set Jongup’s things next to his bed before making his way out and leaving Jongup to do whatever business he needed done.
As he walked up to his window, he noticed that it was bright out. Sure, it was a little chilly, but at least the sun was shining. Though… would that be enough to ease the pain he felt, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to see one of his friends again? Jongup wanted to know the answer, but he knew that he wouldn’t get an answer that easily. For now, maybe he should see if Daehyun was home.
Turning around, he had just pushed himself away from the windowsill when his eyes landed on the two figures standing by the doorway. He could see the surprised looks on their faces as they stared at him, but those surprised looks disappeared only to be replaced by relief and happiness as the two quickly made their way over to him. “Jongup! You’re safe!” (DH)
Daehyun pulled Jongup into a tight embrace, who couldn’t help but return it with his own hug. Young Jae stood off to the side a bit, smiling happily as he awkwardly fumbled with his fingers. He didn’t really know what to do and he felt odd just standing there. However, that awkwardness either intensified or completely dissipated as Daehyun and Jongup both inched over to him before suddenly pulling Young Jae in between both of them and the hug tightened once more. Young Jae felt a little squished between the two, but he couldn’t help but feel happy that he was included in the hug.
Once they had gotten their fill out of the hug, the three took a step or so back from one another before Daehyun took a moment to look at Jongup. He looked fine from what he could see, but anything could have happened while he was out there. “Are… you hungry? Do you want to eat anything?” (DH)
“Huh? Um… Okay.” (JU) As they began walking, Daehyun began wondering what he should make. Daehyun recalled that Jongup’s favorite food was hamburger, so maybe he could cook that. Okay, sure, it might not fit Young Jae’s tastes, but maybe he’ll end up liking it too.
Entering the kitchen, Daehyun began gathering the things he needed as Jongup and Young Jae sat at the counter. Young Jae stared at Daehyun for a brief moment before looking at Jongup. He seemed to be lost in thought, but Young Jae didn’t want to pry if it was something that made Jongup feel uncomfortable. When Jongup felt someone’s gaze on him, Jongup looked at Young Jae for a moment before grinning. “What is it?” (JU)
“What do you think Daehyun’s cooking?” (YJ)
“Burgers!” (DH) Young Jae and Jongup both looked over at Daehyun, but his back was still turned towards them. Young Jae had hoped to start up a conversation with Jongup, but Daehyun had jumped in with the answer. So, now he didn’t really know how else to converse with Jongup. “It’ll be done in about twenty minutes, maybe? So just wait for a bit!” (DH)
“Okay.” (YJ) As they watched Daehyun preparing everything, Jongup couldn’t help but glance over at Young Jae every now and then. Maybe he could ask Young Jae if it would be alright to talk to Daehyun about it. Well, he could also ask Young Jae about it, but either way, Jongup wanted some sort of advice or just someone to talk to altogether. Taking in a deep breath, Jongup lightly nudged Young Jae, who looked over at Jongup out of curiosity. “Yeah?” (YJ)
Jongup glanced over at Daehyun for a moment before leaning in closer to Young Jae and speaking in a low whisper. “I um… I lost someone important... and I don’t know what to do about it…” (JU)
“Oh… how did you lose them? Do you know where you last saw them?” (YJ) Jongup was a little confused by Young Jae’s questions and it didn’t necessarily help that he didn’t know how to respond to it. However, he had to say something in response. It would be a little awkward if he just stared at him in confusion.
“Um… what?” (JU)
“You know… you… lost them. Maybe I can help find them.” (YJ) Jongup thought on it for a little moment before realization kicked in. Maybe he hadn’t been clear on his words if Young Jae thought that he was talking about a literally lost person. Once he made sure that Daehyun still wasn’t paying attention to them, Jongup looked back at Young Jae before shaking his head.
“No… I mean… they um… they died…” (JU) An ‘o’ shape formed through Young Jae’s lips as he sat back in his seat a bit. How was he supposed to give advice over that? His thoughts had almost immediately ran to his birth father, but he didn’t remember how he had been able to cope with losing his father. Was it because of Mister Buttons? Or… maybe it was because of Daehyun. Either way, he wasn’t entirely certain on how to cope with a loss like that.
“Well… You can’t really do anything about it… except just remember them.” (YJ)
“But… how do I stop being sad?” (JU) Young Jae rubbed the back of his head before folding his arms to think. What should he say? Everyone has coped with a sad situation in their own way, so no one way would be the correct answer. However, as he looked up at Daehyun and thought back to their orphanage years, Young Jae couldn’t help but smile as he looked back at Jongup.
“It’s okay to be sad, but… if you need it, you can always come to me or Daehyun if you need someone to talk to.” (YJ) Jongup nodded a bit as he slowly pulled away from Young Jae. He probably would have to tell Daehyun about this sooner or later, but for now, Jongup decided to just remain quiet about it. Whether it was Young Jae’s intention or not, Jongup felt a bit better knowing that he could at least talk to Young Jae or Daehyun about it.
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“How is he?” (YJ) Daehyun smiled a bit as he sat down next to Young Jae on the couch. As he raised his cup of hot cocoa up to his lips, he glanced over at Young Jae from the corner of his eye. From what he could see, Daehyun could tell that Young Jae was waiting patiently for an answer from him. As he began taking a sip of his drink, he could just barely feel movement on the couch, which meant that he was probably wrong about the patient part. “Daehyun? Did you hear me?” (YJ)
Daehyun merely gave a small hum in response as he continued to drink his hot cocoa. After stalling for a good amount of time, Daehyun lowered his cup as he gave a satisfied sigh. Just as he placed his cup on the coffee table, Daehyun felt a light punch to his arm, quickly pulling his attention back to the only other person on the couch. “Hey! Are you going to answer my question?” (YJ)
“Eh? What question?” (DH) Young Jae narrowed his eyelids as he stared at Daehyun for a moment before moving away from him and turning his attention towards the television screen. Daehyun couldn’t help but grin as he moved closer to Young Jae and nudged him a little bit as he got comfortable invading Young Jae’s personal space. “He’s doing alright. He was just tired from everything that’s happened.” (DH)
“Oh…” (YJ)
“So…? Are you going to tell me how it went with your parents?” (DH) He merely glanced at Daehyun from the corner of his eye before looking back over at the television screen. Furrowing his eyebrows a bit, Daehyun leaned a bit to where he was a little more in Young Jae’s field of vision before poking Young Jae’s nose. “Well?” (DH)
“You really wanna know?” (YJ)
“Yeah.” (DH) Young Jae glanced over at Daehyun before quickly looking away the second they made eye contact. His face was a light shade of pink, but he gathered up the courage to make himself look at Daehyun once more. Despite the calm look he had on his face, Young Jae was trying hard not to show his nervousness.
“Will you… go on a date with me?” (YJ)
“Yeah, but what did your parents sa-….” (DH) Daehyun stared at Young Jae, a bit dumbfounded by the question and the realization of the meaning behind Young Jae’s words. A grin soon graced Daehyun’s lips as he nodded a little too energetically as he began laughing. Daehyun then pulled Young Jae into a tight hug, as happiness seemed to be the only emotion he could feel at that moment. “So your parents said it’s okay… right?” (DH)
“What do you think?” (YJ) Young Jae laughed a little bit as he wrapped his arms gently around Daehyun. It felt like all of his worries flew out the window as he finally allowed himself to melt in Daehyun’s embrace. Young Jae closed his eyes as he rest his head on Daehyun’s shoulder. Of course, he wasn’t entirely certain if he wanted anyone to catch them like this just yet. “I think it’s becoming a little awkward now…” (YJ)
“Is it?” (DH)
“Mm.” (YJ)
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Lying there in his bed while staring up at the ceiling didn’t seem to do him any good, but it was the only thing he felt like doing. Yes, he knew that he wasn’t too close to Taehyung, but Jin still felt like a part of his heart had been ripped out and forever lost. There had to have been a way for him to save him. Maybe if he had managed to keep the gun out of Kyungsoo’s grasp or if he had just listened to Taehyung like he should have, then Taehyung might still be here with them. There were so many things that he could have done and yet… those things only seemed to make themselves obvious after everything has happened.
Jin slapped his forehead as he closed his eyes, a low groan escaping his lips as he turned to the side. He didn’t want to keep blaming himself for what happened, but his mind was constantly doing just that. Yes, he wasn’t directly responsible for Taehyung’s death, but because of his actions, it ended up leading to his death. Jin just couldn’t bring himself to believe that it wasn’t his fault.
Opening his eyes, Jin stared at the wall in front of him, lost in his thoughts.
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After constantly hearing how his parents loved him and were so relieved that he had come back home in one piece, Baekhyun finally had a chance to go up to his room and rest. Looking outside, he couldn’t help but wonder what could have pushed Kyungsoo over the edge like that. Just the thought of killing a person was hard enough, but to actually do it? He couldn’t believe that he had been dating someone like that this entire time. No matter how much he may have loved Kyungsoo, Baekhyun just couldn’t forgive something like that.
His face scrunched up as he tried hard not to cry for the umpteenth time that day. Once he had fought down the urge, Baekhyun made his way out onto the balcony. Walking up to the railing, Baekhyun took a firm hold of the railing before leaning forward. With a small sigh, Baekhyun tilted his head to the side a bit.
It was true what they said. While time seemed to slow down for him, time continued normally for everyone else unaffected. Letting out a heavy sigh, Baekhyun crouched down as he pressed his head against the bars. One way or another, he was going to have to figure out how he was going to break the news to his aunt and uncle. He knew that Yongguk and the old man had offered to speak to his family about their loss, but Baekhyun knew that he had to be the one to tell them. How he was going to tell them, he didn’t know, but he felt obligated to do so.
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[[ My Own Thoughts:
It took a bit, buuut I finally figured out what to write for behaviors and such.
But at least there has been a bit of progression.
Comments are loved!
I love talking with everyone.
It’s also nice to know how I’m doing with each chapter. X3 ]]
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