I have a special power.  I don’t know if I can call it a power, but I can’t think of a time where it was not part of my life. July 14^th 2006, the date is embedded in my mind as it was the day I was born.

No... It was the day I started to become the person I am today.  

My name is Kim Taehyung and I am currently 18 years old. My parents have always told me that they’ve never met anyone as mentally strong as me, because they wouldn’t be able to live with the things I see every day, or every week rather. I hear my parents talk about me at night, although they smile whenever I’m around them, they think there has to be something wrong with my head. Sometimes I suspect the same.

As young as I am, death is not foreign to me; in fact I’ve experienced death many times, in countless ways. Though I’ve never died, as one could figure from my being here, writing this, I have experienced all the emotions involved, the actions taken prior to the event until milliseconds before it happens. Maybe if I have not had these feelings, I wouldn’t be so afraid to see and accept my inevitable end. My words, I presume make the least of sense at the moment as I have been most vague about my situation, but soon it will start to unravel.

I was born in 1995, I calculated this when my parents told me that I was eleven in 2006. I am not the same as many other 18 year olds, who most likely graduated secondary school. Unlike them, I am a freshman, and today will be my first day. Not only in high school, but a credited learning institution in general. I mentioned that I was born on July 14^th 2006, and despite the fact that this may not be the day my body was brought on to earth, it is when my mind became one with the already existent body. The truth is, I do not remember anything prior to this date, and even when asked with the mere curiosity of a fourteen year old, the question was brushed off with a couple of words telling me that it was probably best if I have a new start. The years soon killed the slightest curiosity that was in me and I had not bothered to ask again.

The walls of the high school were crisp white; but I suppose it is only given considering that it was a new school. A year or two at the most since the building was built. I don’t know anyone in the school, other than my neighbor. Much like myself, he is 18 years of age yet a freshman in high school, reasons completely different. Do not think my words to be ignorant when I say this but my friend, Park Jimin, is not one who fits the in with the town that we live in. His preferences, ually, are very looked down upon, and while I think this to be untrue, it was described as disease to me by my aunt and uncle. He was taken away from the state for a couple of years, three to be exact, to get treatment. 

He was cured.

He was not cured, but that will remain a secret between Jimin and I.

It being the first day of school, I hoped to sit beside someone that I was familiar with. But I suppose the authority has the final say in everything and I was seated next to a young gentleman by the name of Jeon Jungkook. We didn’t converse much but the times that we did, it was rather short. I cannot recall much of what we talked about aside from the time we told each other the names we would like to be referred by and that covered most of our uneventful conversation. I couldn’t help but notice how handsome the boy was. Jungkook was tall, and seemed built for someone his age. It was as if he was an odd but good looking mix of the Greek sculptures in my art history textbook and the real looking porcelain dolls at the antique store down the street, brought to life with a touch of magic.

It seemed that I was quite popular in school already after only half the day. I noticed the glances at my direction to which I returned a smile to. It seemed as if none were particularly interested in approaching me though, as it was always only gazes. Lunch time comprised of lone time with Jimin, he had made acquaintances with a couple of girls- as did I but we had decided upon wandering the halls to better know the school.

I don’t remember how we had ended up there, but we were out in the back of the school on top of one of the lower branches of a tree with only fifteen minutes left to spare. “Wait... you’ve never kissed anyone?” Jimin asked and with a chuckle I shook my head. It would be a lie if I said I’ve never had the opportunity. I had been a part of the local soccer team when I was thirteen and there was this girl who would always visit during games. We became friends after one meeting and there was one night after a game when she pecked my cheek. My gut told me at the time that she wanted me to kiss her but I never did.

“You should teach me.” I saw Jimin staring at me and I wondered if he was actually contemplating doing so. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried before. I scooted closer to him and wrapped an arm around his waist which seemed to have an impact on the other as he quickly reacted and turned towards me, more than he did when we spoke. I could tell he was getting nervous, it was obvious by just how much he blinked; his eyes opened a little wider each time he did. “Come on Jiminnie.”

“Are you being serious right now?” The bewildered look on Jimin’s face was too precious. I leaned in closer to him and awkwardly twisted my body, reminding me of how much the idea of that rhyme about sitting on a tree and k-i-s-s-i-n-g was more than just a little uncomfortable. I closed my eyes and puckered up. I was ready for this. If this was going to happen with someone, it might as well be with the neighbor boy who has always been there ever since my family moved here. A few moments of silence passed us and I was waiting for his lips to press against mine. “Lean back. That’s not how you do it, let me lead you.”

I leaned back as he told me to, resting my back against the bark of the tree. The place was quiet, far too much for my liking since I could hear my heart beat pulsing. I held on to one of the smaller branches and soon felt Jimin’s hand on top of mine. It felt odd, not because I was about to kiss a boy that I had known for the past seven years but because I felt no attraction to him despite how perfectly normal the idea of kissing Jimin was. I sighed and closed my eyes when I saw him lean towards me, his hand followed soon after to cup my cheek. I could feel his breath now, and I don’t know if it was just me, but Jimin seemed nervous, I could hear his breath hitch as he moved closer.

“Is this weird?” Jimin asked again as if to make sure that no consequences would follow after the kiss.  He sounded as if we would fall for one another and want to get to get married and spend the rest of our lives together with one touch of each other’s lips. I smiled at that and shook my head refusing to open my mouth. If I had chosen to do so, I was certain that I would say something that would compromise the chance of receiving this kiss.

“Stop stalling.” I ended up saying before Jimin finally moved in close enough that our lips were pressed against one another’s. His lips were soft, it was nice, I had never expected it to be so… nice. As much as I tried I couldn’t find a better word to describe it. I moved my lips slowly along with his, going with natural instinct as I had no clue what exactly was expected.

Jimin quickly pulled away at the sound of school bell which signaled that it was time to resume classes once more. He looked at me for a second before claiming that we should probably get going and jumped off of the high branch and picking up his back pack. Following suit, I quickly joined his side and we were headed off to our next class. I saw Jimin grinning and throwing a couple of glances at me during classes, and feeling a little giddy with what we had done I couldn’t help but smile too despite how much I tried to hold back.

A series of gibberish was followed by a few words. “…so I was thinking we walk home together and discuss the options.” I turned to where the voice was coming from and smiled at the porcelain doll beside me in hopes that he would continue and I wouldn’t have to ask him what he had said at the time I was too busy taking notes on what may or may not have been about what we were being taught, but seeing that he wasn’t going to do so I nodded.

“Yeah... yeah sure.” I said with the awkward smile still on my face as I had no idea what the boy wanted to talk about. Jungkook smiled, actually it was more of a hint of a smile, he wasn’t smiling the way I would smile but it was a smile none the less. I could tell because his lips were longer than when he had a straight face. It was a smile I’m sure of it.

“Where do you live?” I saw Jungkook’s mouth open up to say something but soon closed it when another voice cut him off and I soon felt an arm around my shoulder along with the a sliding my books off of the table and on to Jungkook’s as it took a seat on my desk. The desk that I had cleaned with a baby wipe not ten minutes ago. “I’m Jimin by the way.” It had to be my desk.

“Oh you know the kimchi special place?” Jungkook said pointing in some direction. His bottom was on my table. “It’s near there; I mean it’s not that far.” There was a chair right there. He could have easily pulled it over and taken a seat on it. “What about you?” The question was directed to me, but before I could return my attention back to the conversation and reply, Jimin had already taken initiative and started to speak.

“Oh his house is completely in the opposite direction. I don’t really know how far you could walk together, but definitely not enough time to discuss a project.” So that was what he was saying, we were partnered up to do a project together, which must have been what Jungkook had been what wanted to talk about. It seemed that there wasn’t much I had left to say, nor did my opinions matter as Jimin continued being my voice, “You guys could meet during lunch though, that’s what I’m going to do with Yerin.” Alright, so maybe that was exactly what I was going to suggest… but I had a voice too.

By the end of the conversation I had managed to squeeze in a couple of words and I was set for a meeting with the Jungkook the following day. The rest of the day was quite uneventful for the first day was school; so far though I like it as it was nothing like the place that movies made it seem to be.

A coffee grinder powders a couple of tablets of high dose painkillers and soon two shaky hands pick up the blender to put the contents of into a glass with milk filled only half way, and next the chocolate syrup. It was not a hard task. He just has to drink it.

The boy glances at the calendar, 30^th June, 2014. His vision was blurry as the tears in his eyes welled up and then rolled down to his cheeks. He wipes his eyes to clear his visions and blinks a couple of times to see the words ‘I Quit’ in his own handwriting on the book. Deep breaths, in and out, inhale, exhale… the command repeats in his head over and over again. Just breathe. Everything will be alright. Just breathe. No there was no way this was helping; his eyes trail over to the glass of chocolate milk placed on top of his desk. Sleep, sleep… just sleep forever and never see the next day that was what he needed. He boy reaches over to the glass. It seems to be almost overly courageous and determined that after this, everything will be alright. He was worrying too much for no reason. He just needed to sleep.

I jolted awake to find myself on one of the love chairs in the living room of my house. It had happened again, someone was going to die—no commit suicide in a month. This is what happens to me. I first thought they were horrible dreams but they are not, it is what is to happen in the future. I know this because each time it comes to be true. It is not a coincidence; no matter what anyone says. I know these people will die months before it happens. It is not a coincidence if I have to re-live the scenario again and again so many times that I can repeat the thoughts that the person was having right before the event. It just is not a coincidence.

I have a special power. I don’t know if I can call it a power, but I can’t think of a time where it was not part of my life. I can predict complete stranger’s death. I can tell them how, why and when as realistic as anyone could predict. I just don’t know who, or where it is. 

A/N: if you suggest a title for each chapter I'll put it as that because *YAAY FOR NO CREATIVITY*