"We're so sorry, Mr. Lee." 

I cried. 

And I cried. 

I cried so much. 

I just saw him. I was just with him. If I hadn't have left, he'd still be here. Warm and smiling. Not being lowered into the dirt. 

It was only me and a few friends. He didn't have any family. 

That just made me cry more. 

Even after he was buried deep in the dirt, I sat on the fresh soil, rubbing the name on the stone. 

It was all so surreal. 

I was just with him. If I hadn't have left him, he'd still be here. Warm and smiling. 

"I love you." I whispered to him. Only him. 

"I'm so sorry, baby." I couldn't control the tears or sobbing even if I wanted to. 

"Why did you leave me, Minho?" I felt so lonely. So dirty. So worthless. 

"We're so sorry, Mr. Lee." 

I dropped to my knees as I watched them change the sheets to his bed.

His bed. 

They asked if I wanted to see him. 

I couldn't. 

I could not have my last memories of Minho cold and pale. 

I wanted to remember him handsome and smiling. 

Smiling. 

"I loved your smile too, hyung." I whispered. "I loved you, hyung." 

So much was racing through my mind. I felt I had nowhere to go, even though I did. I couldn't go back home to Jonghyun's understanding embrace. How could I do that to Minho?

With a sigh I leaned in, kissing the stone that held his name, date of birth and passing, running my fingers over his name once more before smiling. 

"I promise to visit you everyday, Minho. I'll bring flowers for you everyday." 

I stood, tears still running down my face nonstop but smile only growing wider despite that. "I'll keep my promise to keep on smiling just for you, Minho. We'll meet again, right? This isn't goodbye." 

A/N: It's 4 AM again. Wasn't planning on adding to this, but it came to me in a dream and I woke up crying so I wrote it. I'm terrible. I love Minho so much. Minho, I love you. I'm sorry if our children see this.