crack crack and more crack read with caution bc crack - baektao crack!

It was usual to see Byun Baekhyun, PETA president of his university, strolling through the forest as part of his daily walks. Yes, Baekhyun loves his peaceful walks filled with nature's scents, birds chirping, and the sound of the river quietly flowing. Baekhyun found it rather relaxing to be out on his own admiring the tall redwood trees. One would think that a big forest would frighten the small boy, but that was far from a fact. Baekhyun found comfort. 

As Baekhyun took his daily route through the forest, he noticed that the atmosphere was a bit off. Baekhyun never felt out of place in the forest before, it was simply unheard of. He looked left, right, up and down but he couldn't pinpoint the unbalance. It wasn't until he took a step further in the route that he heard distant humming. 

"Well that's strange." He told himself. "No one comes down here but me." Baekhyun pondered for a moment. 

"Hello? Is anyone there?" Baekhyun yelled. There wasn't an answer but the humming began increasing in volume. 

"Hello?" Baekhyun yelled, beginning to sound annoyed. 

"Swagger on super, I can't shop at no department. To get my money on time, if they not money, decline. "

Baekhyun could recognize that voice anywhere. With a huff he marched right up to the approaching voice. 

Huang Zitao. 
It was Huang ing Zitao. 
Baekhyun's one and only sworn enemy. 

"I'm so fancy. You already know." Tao sang. 

"Huang Zitao, what are you doing here?" The boy demanded. 

"Oh hi Baekhyun. Isn't this forest fabulous? It's great for my portfolio." Tao motioned to his dangling camera. 

The nerve of the kid. Baekhyun thought. 

"Tao, do you mind?" Tao tilted his head in confusion. "I mean do you mind shutting up? This is a stress free zone. I don't want to hear your ratchet singing." Baekhyun snarled. Tao gasped dramatically as he placed a dainty hand over his chest. 

"Excuse you miss save the animals, but I am not ratchet. This is a limited edition Gucci backpack. I'm not department I'm designer." Tao wiggled his backpack that was wrapped around his shoulders. 

"Do you even know how many animals were harmed in the making of your stupid backpack?" Tao rolled his eyes as he sensed a lecture coming on, but he wasn't going to back down. Not this time. 

"I will not stand for your lies. I saw you the other day stuffing a burger in your face." Tao said triumphantly. Baekhyun glared hard at the younger boy trying to hold in his anger. 

"It was a gluten free soy patty, you idiot." Baekhyun said through clenched teeth. 

"Did you just call me an idiot?" Tao approached the small boy in a menacing way. 

"I sure as hell didn't call you a genius." Baekhyun smirked not moving an inch from his spot. 

"Take it back!" Tao jabbed a finger in Baekhyun's chest. 

"No! You're an idiot. You're holding the camera upside down." The smaller boy pointed out. 

"It's called ing art!" Tao retorted jabbing his finger in Baekhyun's chest once again. 

"It's called being an idiot." Baekhyun jabbed his finger but instantly regretted it since Tao has impressively hard pecs. 

"Is baby Baekhyun going to cry?" Mocked Tao as he noticed the smaller boy rubbing his finger. 

"Ugh! You're so annoying."
"No you are."
"I'm going to punch you."
"Go ahead and try shorty, I have wushu skills."
"Tao, I swear I'm going to end you."
"Don't make me laugh."

Then suddenly, someone cleared their throat. 

"Um. Excuse me. Hi. I'm new here and I like jogging so I was wondering if this was a safe route to take." The handsome Adonis like man smiled a dazzling a smile. Both Baekhyun and Tao nodded.

"Great. Do you guys jog here as well? We could team up if you'd like. Well anyways, gotta go. Nice backpack by the way, Tao. And you must be Baekhyun, I hope you didn't mind me overhearing. You were both yelling pretty loud. Well this is awkward. Anyway, see you around." The tall stranger started jogging away. 

"Wow." Both boys said breathlessly. 

"Oh I'm kris by the way." The tall jogger yelled. 

"He's " Baekhyun whispered. 
"Gorgeous" Tao finished. 

"He said he liked my backpack." Tao giggled. 
"At least he knows my name." Baekhyun snapped back. 
"He knows my name too. Who's the idiot now?" Tao smirked. 
"Still you if you think he's into you." Baekhyun laughed out loud. 
"Baekhyun, I saw him first so back off"
"Make me."
"He's not even your style"
"You're hopeless." Baekhyun stomped his foot. "I'm leaving. There's no point in arguing with you." Baekhyun huffed and continued on his route through the forest. 

"At least he liked my backpack." Tao giggled. 

"SHUT UP!" 

I don't know what this is. I'm sorry. It's just so much crack. Just I'm sorry. Bye.