"Do you ever think," Hoseok starts airily as he stares at the ceiling with his feet propped up on the office desk in front of him and his fingers dangling just above the carpeted floor, "that maybe vegetables have feelings too? I mean, vegetarians talk about how cows can feel and how immoral the whole deal is, but what about cabbages? They have dreams as well, right?"

Taehyung lets his phone slip from between his fingers as he peeks at Hoseok from his perch on top of the fridge with his eyebrow raised so high it may as well just detach itself from his skin for good and his entire expression screaming of disbelief and concern. Namjoon sighs and clicks away on his computer, pulling up solitaire cards and scratching at the back of his neck furiously. There’s an awkward period of silence in which no one says a thing and the air conditioning whizzes quietly, filling the void in the small room. Then Seokjin opens his mouth.

"Dude, what the ."

Hoseok throws his hands in the air and sits up in his chair, outraged. “Think about it! We put cabbages in lots of things, we use them for a lot of healthy dishes, it probably won’t be long before the cabbages get angry at us! The revolution is at our doorstep, people! Wake up!”

"Okay, who drugged Hoseok?" Taehyung asks flatly, looking at his friends with an expectant look. "Jimin, you promised to stop."

Jimin shrugs with an angelic expression smeared all over his face, smiling at Taehyung dumbly. “I swear I didn’t do anything this time,” he declares truthfully, his words dripping with honey. Usually Taehyung wouldn’t take the younger’s word just like that, but he’s tired and this whole day has been a general pain in the , so he lets it slide.

"He’s not drugged," Yoongi remarks, a hint of surprise coloring his voice. He steps away from the oblivious Hoseok, stretching his arms up and over his head while stifling a yawn. "His pupils aren’t dilated. I think it’s safe to conclude it’s just another stupid comment made by Jung Hoseok, and nothing more."

"Amen," Jungkook agrees from his sitting place on the beanbag chair, his eyes never leaving his laptop. Namjoon glances at him fondly while Hoseok pouts at them all and folds his arms over his chest, clearly upset with the way this discussion played out. "You’re missing the point!" He exclaims loudly, throwing his hands up in outrage. "This is serious!"

"Not it’s not."

"But Yoongi—"

"Oh my god someone should kill him before I do," Taehyung snaps, running his fingers in his hair and glaring daggers at Hoseok.

Namjoon ignores them all completely, staring at his computer screen blankly with his fingers hovering over the keyboard hesitantly. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, to be honest, but he’s learned over time that the best way to deal with Hoseok’s shenanigans is to look away and busy yourself with something else, or at least pretend that you’re busy. Trust him, it (sadly) works 99.7773% of the time. It surprises him how clueless his friends can be sometimes.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he blinks, pulling it out to reveal a note claiming that he got 1 message from Jeon Jungkook. Glancing at the younger boy suspiciously, Namjoon swipes his thumb over the screen and opens the message.

From: Jeon Jungkook
if ur gonna pretend ur busy u might wanna close that game of solitaire and open a word file or smth

Namjoon splutters and Seokjin raises an eyebrow at him, concern showing in his eyes as Namjoon begins to type a reply.

To: Jeon Jungkook 
oh yeah and what are you doing you smartass

"Why are you up there anyway," Jimin questions the bored Taehyung, looking up at the boy on top of the fridge. Taehyung snorts and draws a smiley face in the dust next to his thigh, drawing his reply just to make Jimin nervous.

"I like it up here," he says finally, an airy tone to his voice. "I can see what you’re all doing and wow, Seokjin, you still play Maple Story?"

A shriek is heard and Seokjin slams his laptop shut while Hoseok bursts into laughter and Yoongi rolls his eyes. Namjoon’s phone vibrates.

From: Jeon Jungkook
biology homework. unlike all of u, i actually try to do better at school

Yoongi sets his lunchbox on the table in front of him and the room halts; Yoongi’s mother always sends him to school with the best lunches in the universe, if not more. Five and a half (Jungkook’s side-eying his homework) pairs of eyes follow him as the boy smugly takes off the container’s lid, revealing a full-course Korean meal, complete with small side dishes and everything. A collective sigh is heard.

Suddenly, Hoseok sits up in his chair. “Is that kimchi?” He asks seriously, his tone grave. Yoongi blinks.

"Well, yeah, of course it is," he says carefully, shielding his meal from the rest of them. "It’s a Korean dish?"

A manic gleam flashes in Hoseok’s eyes. “That’s cabbage,” he states the obvious. “You’re bringing the enemy in.”

"OH FOR ’S SAKE."