Lu Han doesn’t know what came to him. It was a stupid idea. He’s aware that he doesn’t need to do this, it was absolutely unecessary and idiotic. There’s a huge possibility that it would fall into the wrong hands. The anonymity would keep him safe from being found out but the thought of that person actually getting the letter and having it disregarded makes his heart fall into his stomach.

                He just desperately wants to know more than he has already have knowledge of. His bestfriend did say that there are certain things that is too embarrassing to share. Lu Han wants to know those thoughts, coz for the longest time the term bestfriend has been weighing heavily on him and he suddenly realized he wants more. But he’s uncertain, he doesn’t want to ruin years and years of friendship just because he’s rash and he let his stupid emotions get the best of him.

                It’s a cowardly move, but he hopes it’s worth it.

~o~

                He comes in early to school that day, executing his plan without a glitch. The shoe locker room is deserted as was expected. He wasn’t looking forward to bumping into his bestfriend who comes earlier than anyone else. 

                The classroom door slides open a few minutes later. His bestfriend adorably stuffing something familiar into his sling bag before looking up, eyes going wide upon seeing Lu Han already there.

                “Good Morning, Min seok-ah…” he greets. Said person makes his way towards his seat next to Lu Han’s.

                “You’re unbelievably early today…” Min Seok teases while putting his bag on the desk’s bag hook.

                “There’s a Biology exam I’ve forgotten to study for... So, I was hoping you would…” Lu Han looks expectantly at Min Seok.

                His bestfriend tsk’s but still generously shares his notes and went over everything with Lu Han. The sight of the pink envelope peaking from the other’s bag pocket a constant reminder that there’s no turning back.

~o~

                The correspondence was continous.  Lu Han smiles at the simple encouraging phrases written on a blue piece of paper. He has kept this letters opting to get them during lunch time when he makes (pathetic) excuses to his friends about forgetting things.

                He reads about himself on some of the letters. A written whine about stupid bestfriends being forgetful and his heart beats irregularly at Min Seok writing about how he misses sharing lunch with said bestfriend.

                The letters become lengthy. He writes more than he could even tell Min Seok in person. And Min Seok writes back with the same enthusiasm. This should have made Lu Han happy though he feels more bothered. He feels Min Seok slipping away, being taken away from him by this anonymous person, it’s ridiculous because he knows it is him Min Seok is exchanging these letters with. He fears he’s losing his bestfriend to these letters. He berates himself for being stupid, still it makes him feel that this is something of a secret and Min Seok is keeping it from him since the latter hasn’t actually  mentioned anything about it considering they’re always together.

                The  dreaded day came when Min Seok opened up about the letter exchange. He watches Min Seok’s face light up as he shares the origin of the pink envelope. Lu Han is happy that finally Min Seok has shared this with him. However he feels like a third wheel, a person outside looking in. And the dread  doesn’t stop there, the words that Min Seok has uttered next rendered Lu Han completely frozen.

            “What if the person’s like a serial killer or if they’re trying to reel you out….” Lu Han reasoned. These are lame excuses but Lu Han holds on to them like his life depended on it.

            “Lu Han-ah, I’m not a person of importance… I don’t think anyone would want to kidnap me or anything…”

            Min Seok’s face is that of excitement. Lu Han’s not able to match it. “But…” he trails off.

            “That’s why I want you to be there… In case something happens, not that I think this person is bad or something. I mean look at it… the letters came from inside, it must be a student too or anyone from school… It’s just that… I don’t want to be anonymous anymore…”

                Lu Han thinks, this is it. He has manage to land himself into this situation without thinking of the consequences. Has his bestfriend fallen for that anonymous person? What would Min Seok do if he founds out it has been Lu Han all along?

            “I’ll still hang out with you even if I get a girlfriend…”

             Lu Han winces, not because of the punch aimed at his arm. Min Seok thinks it’s from a girl? “What makes you think it’s a girl? What if it’s a guy? What would you do?” Lu Han can’t bring himself to voice it out loud. It comes as a whisper though, one he doesn’t know if the other can hear.

            “Hmmmm… Then I’ll have a boyfriend?” The playful tone is back. Lu Han wants to shake his bestfriend and tell him how important that question was to him. A few seconds lapses, he can see Min Seok thinking it over. “It doesn’t matter, Lu Han…This person… whoever it is… It doesn’t matter…” The sincerity in the other’s voice makes his heart skip a beat.

            Lu Han decided that he needs to end somewhere if he wants something, whatever this would be, to begin. His face doesn’t betray any of this emotions though.

            Min Seok has a panicked look on his face.  “Ya! Don’t be like that…”

            “Like what?” he sighs and began to pack his things. He has to plan this out. “Ask Chan Yeol or Chen to accompany you… I have things to do after school…”

            He barely registers the faint “Lu Han-ah…” coming from Min Seok’s lips as he slings his bag on his shoulder and exits the classroom. This is it, he thinks. He’d either be able to be more to Min Seok or lose him completely.

~o~

            He gets the letter asking to meet three days later. He’s been avoiding Min Seok for the past days. He can’t show how nervous he is, how everything is on the line for this.

            Lu Han’s been enamored by the adorable kid eversince they moved to Seoul from Beijing. Their mother’s get along well despite of the language barrier and Min Seok has been a constant source of comfort and laughter to him. Lu Han is shy, while Min Seok has a personality that just draws you to him. It’s not hard to be drawn in to gummy smiles, eyes that turns to crescent at a laugh and the other’s constant teasing. He doesn’t want to be separated from Min Seok and though this is a risk. He still wants to hold on to that small hope that maybe Min Seok feels the same.

~o~

            Lu Han waits for Min Seok at the rooftop garden. A place where he usually writes his letters at. A pink envelope is in his hands. The last one, he thinks. He left the door slightly ajar to let Min Seok know that he’s already there waiting for him. His heart pounds wanting to escape his ribcage. He hears the door being opened and he stills himself for the most awaited meeting.

            Lu Han turns around as soon as he feels Min Seok standing close to him. “My last letter for you…”  He hands him the familiar pink envelope.

            Minseok takes the envelope with shaking hands, eyes not leaving Lu Han’s face. Min Seok’s expression is unreadable. Dread resurfaces again and Lu Han thinks for the nth time that this is a bad idea.

            The latter opens the envelope and pulls out the single sheet of paper. Lu Han doesn’t know what Min Seok is expecting. The silence is prolonged. Lu Han can hear his heart pounding as he watches Min Seok read his message. It’s not a direct confession but it sums up everything he’s been feeling eversince Min Seok first smiled at him.

            And that same smile appeared again, he was only realized it a few minutes later. He’s been trying his best not to look at Min Seok. But when he did and he saw that gummy smile, he realized he’s been worrying for nothing. So this is how it feels like to have your feelings reciprocated.

            “Annyeonghaseyo to you too, Lu Han-ah…” Min Seok’s smile is blinding.

            Lu Han can’t help but mirror that smile with his own as he rushed towards the person of his affections and engulf him with a hug. The letter exchange was something that he’ll treasure and the anonymity was, for a while a source of happiness. But nothing beats reality and having Min Seok in his arms is better than any anonymous correspondence.

a/n: someone asked for Lu Han's POV and I'm kinda berating myslef for not thinking of it earlier. So thanks to bembemberss for making that suggestion. i hope you like this. Thanks for reading ^^v