❈ C h a p t e r   T w o ❈

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Alors tu vois, comme tout se mêle

So you see, everything changes

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“Bommie-ah” my mom said.

I looked up and saw my mom’s hand outstretched towards me. I unfastened my seatbelt and took hold, allowing her to help from the backseat of the car. My dad slammed the door behind me and looked at me with a smile.

He led the way, my mom falling in step behind him but I on the other hand hesitated, gazing up at the house towering before me. It was enormous – or at least much bigger than the Korean houses I was used to. Its grand two stories captured me in its shadow and for a minute I thought I was in a dream. It was like all of the perfect American suburban homes I had become accustomed to seeing on the television and just being in that house’s presence had conjured ideas of the idyllic lives of the people living within. How I desperately wanted to live that life – spending my time lounging on the wide front porch or looking out onto the world through the panes of my bedroom’s bay window – and so I stood there, staring up at it, memorizing its every feature when my eye caught sight of someone staring back at me from one of the upstairs windows. I only saw them for the briefest of moments before they ducked out of sight, but it was enough for me to feel like I had somehow intruded upon them and I instantly felt ashamed.

My mom suddenly felt her arm pulled taut as she realized I wasn’t moving. She stopped and turned back to look at me, the warmth of her eyes drawing me to her. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder reassuringly and gave it a squeeze as we walked in sync. We headed up the cobblestoned path leading to the front porch and my mom removed her arm as she headed up the four steps to the front door.

I followed obediently and sat myself in one of the white rocking chairs stationed on the porch.

My dad looked back at us. “Ready?” he asked and he pressed his finger to the doorbell.

I could hear it echo within the house, but I gazed out to the street. Sitting there was like how I imagined it would be, watching the cars pass as they drove towards their home, the old couple strolling by during their evening walk, even the woman across the street watering her purple hydrangeas. It was perfect, and I could have sat there forever watching the scenes before me.

“Bommie.”

I looked up to see my dad looking down at me, gesturing to the now open front door. I saw my mom give me a nod before disappearing through the doorway and so I pushed myself up from the rocking chair, allowing myself to enter as well.

As soon as I stepped across the threshold to the house, it was as if I stepped into the pages of a magazine, advertising an ideal home – an ideal life. The tile floors of the foyer gleamed under the light of the chandelier above my head and the mahogany staircase curved out towards me and standing to the left of the staircase was what could only be the epitome of the perfect couple. They were standing side by side, their presence complimenting each other. They were beautiful, their aura casting off vibes of power and prestige – and I was intimidated.

“I’m so glad you could make it Jin Soo” the man said to my father, “It’s been a long time.”

My dad took his hand, a wide smile pasted across his face. “It has, thank you for having us. Let me introduce my family” he said. “This is my wife, Sun Hwa, and my daughter Bom.”

“Bom” the woman said, kindness in her eyes, “the last time I saw you, you were only a child. You’re even more beautiful than I remember and you look just like your mother.”

“We know” my mom said, placing her arm around my shoulders, “I swear if I were younger, people would think we were twins.”

“You mean you’re not?!” the man exclaimed in feigned shock.

My mom giggled like a schoolgirl and it took all of my will not to obnoxiously roll my eyes – I mean seriously.

“Oh, stop it Seung Woo” the woman scolded. “Ignore him  please. If you don’t remember from all those years ago, I’m Ji Hyun and this is my husband Seung Woo. Our son should be down momentarily. I made him clean his room so if you can imagine, he’s not very happy with me right now.”

“I know the feeling, Bommie’s the same way” my mom commented, “She’s quite the little fashionista and if it were up to her, her room would be permanently covered in clothing in cosmetics.”

“Jin Soo and I are going to discuss business matters in my office” Seung Woo suddenly said to his wife.

“Okay” Ji Hyun replied, she quickly checked her watch, “dinner should be ready in about 45 minutes. Would you care to join me in the kitchen?” she asked my mom.

My mom beamed and nodded graciously.

“Bom” Ji Hyun quickly added with a bright smile, “why don’t you head upstairs? Last door on your left. You two must me so excited to see each other after all these years.”

I remained silent and only briefly nodded, but it was apparently enough reassurance as Ji Hyun turned and began to head down the hall towards what I assumed was the kitchen. My mom followed in her footsteps, but swung around suddenly.

“Go” she mouthed briskly, waving her hand towards the stairs before swinging around once again, walking towards the kitchen

Clearly I was expected to find him, and I wasn’t too thrilled at the prospect. The last time we had met, we were eight – and he pushed me in the mud, ruining my favorite green dress. The stain never came out.

I heaved myself up the stairs and before I realized it, I’d reached the top. The upstairs hallway was fairly dark as the evening shadows began to take hold, but I could see a light shining from the cracked door of a room down the hall. I slowly headed in the door’s direction and upon reaching it, knocked lightly, but there was no answer.

I raised my arm again and knocked once more, slightly louder, but again there was no answer.

“Screw it” I thought to myself, pushing the door open.

As I stepped inside and looked around, I briefly wondered if I had stepped into a bedroom or a toy store. Displayed on nearly every spare surface in there room were figurines of various characters, though I had no idea which characters. I walked towards the bookcase standing along the wall closest to me and began to scan the titles. You can often tell a lot about a person by the books they read, and if this, along with the toys strewn throughout the room were any indication of his personality, I feared what I was in for. The bookshelf was completely filled with manga – not a real book in sight.

I shook my head and picked up the figurine perched on the shelf at my eye level. How could anyone like this stuff? I mean seriously, it was a sword-wielding robot.

“What are you doing?” a voice suddenly asked.

I looked up to see him nearing closer to me, taking the figure out of my hands and back into its respective place on the bookshelf.

“I just got finished cleaning and I have everything exactly where I want it” he sternly informed me, “So I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mess with my stuff.”

He’d startled me, that was for sure and his words went in one ear and out the other as I stared blankly back at him. The confusion must have been apparent in my eyes because I suddenly watched his soften.

“Mianhe” he said, speaking in Korean, “I didn’t realize you can’t speak English.”

“Aniyo” I objected, “I can speak some.”

“Well, obviously not enough to understand what I just said. Anyways, let’s start over” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Seung Hyun.”

“I know who you are” I replied taking a step back and ignoring his hand.

“Oh-kay” Seung Hyun said, taking his extended hand and scratching his head. “Well, that makes thing’s easy enough Bom.”

I was a little shocked to hear my name escape his lips, but I didn’t let it register in my expression as I turned to examine his desk. I pulled out the chair and sat myself down. I folded my hands in my lap and stared expectantly at Seung Hyun as he leaned against his bookshelf.

His attitude had clearly remained unchanged in the five years since I’d last seen him, but his appearance had changed drastically. Seung Hyun was no longer the chubby, short boy with a buzz-cut that I remembered. Firstly, and most obviously, he’d had a growth spurt causing him to  now tower over me, making me feel almost like an ant in his presence and it seemed his baby fat had disappeared completely. His hair had been allowed to grow out and it now sat messily styled on his head. His air was something else entirely though. His face was hard, almost frightening, but his eyes were terrifying. As I sat in the chair at his desk, I felt myself become suddenly self-conscious as it seemed he could see way too much of me – as if he were staring into my soul.

I tried to remain my composure as I glared at him. 

“I’m sorry okay” he announced, “I’m sorry I pushed you in the dirt…”

“It was mud” I interjected.

“Same difference” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Like I said, I’m sorry and let’s start over. I don’t think we need events that occurred when we were kids to get in the way – especially since we’ll probably be seeing a lot of each other.”

I let out a small sigh and nodded in agreement. “And I’m sorry for touching your toys.”

“Action figures” he corrected.

“Same difference” I deadpanned.

“Whatever” Seung Hyun grumbled and I watched as he crossed the room to plop himself down on his bed near me. “So how long ago did you arrive in America?

“Two days” I stated simply.

“Are you enjoying it here so far?”

I relaxed a little – but just a little. “Not really” I admitted, “I’ve spent the last two days cooped up in our new house unpacking. I haven’t really had the opportunity to go anywhere, and besides, where would I go? This place is so foreign to me and you’re right, I don’t know English so what the hell would I do out there anyway?”

Seung Hyun rubbed the back of his head and sighed. “Well, Maryland isn’t the most exciting place in the world, but I guess I could show you around” he said, “I guess I could also help you with your English.”

“You guess? Jeez, don’t sound too enthusiastic” I scoffed.

“Like I said” he reiterated, “we’ll probably seeing each other a lot while our dad’s work together, so it’s just better to get along.”

Seung Hyun was right. It was because of my dad that I’d been plucked from the comfort of my life in Korea and dropped into a foreign country. My dad’s an architect and had been hired by the development firm Seung Hyun’s dad works for. He’d been contracted by the firm to aid in the design of a series of hotels and since Seung Hyun’s dad is the project manager, he’d had a major say in my dad getting the contract. While I didn’t want to go, I knew it was a major opportunity for him and who was I to tell him not to take it. It was my duty to support him and our family so I bottled up my feelings about the move, packed up my life and replanted it in America, hoping it would thrive.

I nodded my head in agreement. “Okay, deal.”

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I twirled myself  in circles on the swing, allowing the chains to spiral and kink.

“So you’re really going?”

I looked up at Seung Hyun as he leaned against the pole supporting the swing set. He stared back at me, his eyes still having the ability to bore into me. In the four years it had been since I’d moved to America, and against all odds, he’d become my closest friend.

“Yep” I replied, “it was that or therapy.”

I picked my feet up from the ground and allowed the swing to spiral, my hair flowing freely as it caught the wind. I watched as the world circled around me and in that moment I felt at ease. Suddenly the swing jerked as the last kink worked itself out and I veered side to side.

“And you honestly think Korea is the lesser of the two evils?” he skeptically questioned.

I shrugged and began to twirl myself once again, but was stopped harshly as Seung Hyun grabbed the chains, forcing me to look at him.

“Bom, do you realize what you’re getting yourself into?” he asked.

“Tabi” I sighed.

He shook his head and let go of the chains, allowing himself to sit on the swing next to me. “Bom, you’re not the same person you were four years ago – you’ve changed.”

“Aww” I teased, “you’re worried about me.”

“Damn right I am” he stated, “Korea isn’t like America…”

“I know that” I injected.

“Yeah, but you’re Americanized now Bom” he explained, “and besides do you really want to go back now? You’re supposed to start your senior year of high school in three weeks and Korean education isn’t like it is here…”

“What are you saying Tabi?”

“I..I don’t know” he admitted, “I just don’t think you realize the seriousness and complexity of the situation.”

“I beg to differ” I objected.

“Bom.”

It was coming again, I’d heard that tone a million times – it was the same tone my father used.

“Are you sure you don’t…”

“I don’t need therapy” I finished for him, “I’m not going to be analyzed.”

“Yeah, I know, you say that every time, but are you sure that isn’t what you need?” he asked.

“To be analyzed?” I asked, slightly offended.

“No” he corrected, “maybe you need someone completely unrelated to the situation to talk to. When your mom died, you changed – and understandably so, but I think you’re avoiding…”

“Tabi” I said speaking softly and looking into his eyes, “I know you’re worried about, but just trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

“Fine” he reluctantly admitted, “there’s no changing your mind once it’s made up, but know that I’m here for you.”

I stood up from my swing and stood behind him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I know you are.”

“Here” he said, pulling something out from his coat pocket.

He slipped it into my hand and I looked at it with a smile. “A calling card?”

He nodded. “There’s a thousand minutes on there” he explained, “I’ll reload it when it gets low. I expect a call every day.”

I smiled and hugged him tighter. “I will.”