Somehow, I woke up earlier than you today. Even I was surprised, everything was quiet. There was no sound of your voice singing or water running from the shower. I looked around my surroundings. The curtains were slightly open. The sun was peeking through the clouds partially. The clouds were swaying slightly playing with the wind. It felt so surreal, peaceful and calm. The morning time in Japan is always better than in Korea.

I went to your room and saw that you were still sleeping. You gave it your all and practised so hard yesterday since your ankle healed all right. You must have been really tired. I moved your hair slowly and your face. You moved slightly under my touch. I wonder why you even have a complex of your face. You small face looks so perfect with your long lashes, smooth nose and those delicious looking lips. I came dangerously close to your lips. i stopped when I detected the faint smell. Your face smelled like strawberry vanilla. You must have used the new lotion I bought for you when I accidentally threw your lotion along with all the garbage I cleaed from your dirty room last week. i started smiling. You are so sweet and cute acting like you were still mad yesterday when i handed it to you, saying you did not want the new one at all since it was not pure strawberry lotion but now you are using it like this. I just kept looking at your face for some time smiling. Then, I had this sudden urge to kiss you but you would wake up and i would get  caught red-handed. You will never let this go. You will always bring this up to tease me forever saying i came to you since I was lonely. I don't want to get busted. I don't want to lose this chance to see you to my heart's content without your knowledge. I want to savour every second of this beautiful time without letting you know. I don't want you to know my feelings. I never even confessed to you. We are the only two left in tohoshinki. You, the leader and me, the makanae of tohoshiki. I don't want to create any more troubles for you. You are always under so much pressure. I know this because I always had my eyes on you. I still remember vividly I was so intimidated by you when I first met you and your harsh words.  I was so scared that i used to avoid you everytime I saw you. You treated me so curtly yet you treated others the same aged as me so nicely. You don't know but i was actually very sad about it. So, I tried so hard to make you accept me and like me.  When  I found out you suffered so many hardships, I felt so sad for you. But still you always tried your best and gave it you all. I grew to respect you and to admire you. You became my utimate rolemodel. I had wanted to become like you so much. I started to follow everytime I saw you like a new born chick. Others always complained but you only smiled subtly said I was working hard. I had felt so happy then.  I don't even know it myself when these feelings of mine that were full of respect, admiration and intimidation turned into love for you. Your positivity and hardwork was so contagious. Not just me, everyone worked so hard around you. Everyday even now, I see the overwhelming respect and feelings in our people's eyes that i grow jealous of them and think only i have that right. that only I can have those feelings for you. i start feeling so stupid thinking of these things. But love is indeed stupid. It makes me feel giddy and shy and silly everytime I see you. Maybe i will never get used to you. You stir so many feelings in me.  But  l will always love you, respect you and will always follow you no matter what you do. . I love the relationship we have right now. We believe in each other and we trust each other......

We worked so hard to achieve our name and our positions again. I don't want to jeopardize it. I would break into thousand peices if something bad happened because of me. I am content with you beside me. I don't wish for anything else. Even though my heart aches for more. I will cover it up with my saracasm and snarkiness. Even though I see you become confused with your feelings sometimes and my heart starts to hope, you show that you only see me as your lovable dongsang and your friend. Our friendship that has deepened by sharing time and experiences with each other as tohoshinki. Our characters and personalities that are such opposites. I work at  my pace no matter when or where yet you always adapt to the place and environment you are in. You always bring the best out of me. You are the ball of sunshine in my life. I hate to think of a life without you. You make me complete. I would die without you. You are my life. I love you. I..... I become overwhelmed by these feelings. I look at you and feel myself relaxing once again. This way of living is fine with me if you are beside me. It strengthens my resolve. I decide once again to never tell you me feelings. I will take these feelings to my grave. I will be happy as long as you are happy. You move sideways and I panic slightly. I keep quiet and see you are still asleep. I smile and trace your face slowly. The birds outside start humming as if they feel my joy of being with you. Maybe because I get to see you and touch you this early everyday. I always like the mornings in Japan more. I look at you and think my love, i will always love you.