Bun Coffee

Minhee looked at her phone, it was 05.27. She couldn’t stand it anymore, “Don’t be stupid Minhee.. how long you supposed to wait?”,”, mumbling to herself as she placed her’s empty cup back on the small coffee table beside her. She gritted her teeth and silent screams throughout her mind, try to hold back her anger. I was an idiot, I shouldn’t have been so surprised when you not coming, you even did more than this before. But, why you always get me hurt when I try to forgive you?. She picked up her bag and walked out of the coffee shop.

It was absolutely freezing on the outside. She paced along the sidewalk looking for a bus, a cab or anything. She sighed and tightly clutched her jacket, trying to keep the cold out. After a few minutes more of the tedious waiting, she finally caught sight of lone taxi and pulled next to her. She reached for the handle and opened the car door as she hear someone call out her name.

“Minhee, waitt...!!!”, Luhan shout out breathlessly, he ran towards her as he could. “Don’t go..”, she refused to look at him. “Let me explain, please..”, he grab Minhee’s hand but she quickly moved away as they made skin contact. Luhan’s eyes held a hurt expression but he carried on anyway. 

“No need, I know you so busy”, she steeled herself before looked straight into his eyes. He don’t know how to apologize and make her believe that he was truly sorry.

“Excuse Me...”, the driver interrupted,“can you continue inside? or I’m going now..”, he look out the window, before Minhee could answer. Luhan slam the door shut.

“No wait.. please stop..!”, knocking the taxi’s window as it start moving. “What are you doing?”, she glared at him, when the taxi went away.

“I’m really sorry, can I bring you home?”, he said in a low voice. Minhee in breath. That wasn’t what she had expected and with Luhan looking at her like that it was really hard to stay mad. Minhee’s facial expression softened and she turned to look at Luhan who looked like a sad puppy.

As they walked towards Luhan’s car, he had caught Minhee rubbed her hand many time. He slipped off his jacket, wincing as the biting wind cut through his shirt and draped it around Minhee’s shoulders.

“I don’t need..”, she said. “It’s not that cold..”, shrugging the jacket off and handing it back to him..

“I just want you keep warm.. I don’t want you catching a cold..”, slid his jacket back onto her shoulders, she knew Luhan body chilled during the cold weather and he needed it much more, but the cold was mucking up her thought process. She didn’t like when he was worried, because he thought little of himself when he worried about her. It’s hurt when saw Luhan shivering alone whereas she keep warm inside double jacket, without words she hold his’s hand, gently squeezing his hand.

“I’m perfectly fine..”, he said with those fiery eyes of his, which seemed to have lit up in flames and  bring the warmth of his's entire body as they slowly continued on walking.

Luhan opened the door and helped her in, her eyes twinkling as she regarded him. “Wait a moment..”, she said before shutting the door and leaving Minhee alone in the car. She wanted to protest him, but the look on his face made her heart flip. The reason this made her heart flip was simple, he was worried to death because of a tiny cold. Luhan returned with two warm cup of tea in his hand, he gave one to her.

“Thank you..”, she said as received the cup, Luhan coughed as he cleared his throat and nodded, he kept his eyes firmly on the road in front because he had forgotten some things to say. Minhee knew Luhan felt awkward right now same as her, he wasn’t in his comfort zone at all. Luhan driving away without another second to waste.

Minhee’s Apartment

He parked the car in ground of her apartment, both of them sit in silence. Luhan didn’t dare try approach her or hold her like he used to, before he left her and before she got married. Now they had brief contact, weighed heavy with passion, but brief none the less. Then it was over, when she break the ice.

“Luhan, if none you want to say,...”.

“Stay, please...”,

“Hurry.., I must cook for dinner..!!”, her tone was cold and she turned around to greet him with poisonous eyes, he look down breaking eye contact. He doesn’t blame her, but it does make him miserable.

"I love you", he quickly said. Minhee gasped in shock. Her body felt cold and the blood pumped far faster than it was supposed to. She wasn’t prepared for his words. He wasn’t supposed to say them, this was happening.

In her moment of overwhelmed bliss she tightly clenched her hands, her nails digging into her palm to prove that this really wasn't anything but reality, because the pain in her fists were the same as the pain in her heart, the fear, the anxiety, the love. She loved him. She knew she still loved him. But her brain couldn't accept it.

"Luhan...," she whispered, but her voice caught. She was weak. She was fragile. She couldn't be fragile. Not now. "Luhan.. I..I..," she repeated, this time with newfound strength and volume, her voice resonated against the car. Her mind was thinking about her husband. The person who held onto her when she cried about another man and found her when she had run away. Who saved her life and poured her with love and had charge of someone’s responsibility to married and raise her’s child from the man in front of her.

Luhan blinked at her. He carefully rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes looking anywhere but at Minhee in a moment of confusion. But then he lightly sighed to himself, until finally he lifted his gaze to meet hers. Waiting for her responds.

"I’m sorry, but I’m not loving you anymore..", Minhee open the door. He realize she would leave him so he slammed the door shut with his hand before she was able to make her escape.

"No, you don’t get to leave..!!”, he raged. “Not until you tell me that you love me, you have to”, his head shook in frustration as he grabbed her shoulders tightly. "You're doing this for Yixing hyung? You don't even love him!", he stammered, somehow regaining his voice,

"No, I do."

"What?", Luhan was in utter shock. He felt like he had a heart attack, but instead of dying, the pain just kept going. His were all on the inside, far worse than any he’d ever leave on her.

"I do," she repeated, "I do love him. It's small and its frail, but its there, like a steady rock against my shaking body. He's always giving me strength, even when I don't need it. Even when I don't think I need it, he's always there”

"And I can't do that for you?" he begged, his voice rising, "Minhee, listen.. I’m promise you, for anything. I want you to be mine. I want you to take care of you. I can be good father too, just give me one chance..”, he choked on his words and forced back a sob. "It’s my fault, let you married with him. I knew you still love me, isn’t you?" Luhan tried, his voice rough, "He doesn't deserve you!"

"You're right about one thing," she whispered, a silent tear rolling down her cheek, "He doesn't deserve me. He deserves better."

"No! Please don’t do this for me.." Luhan lunged for her, grabbing her arms tightly while pulling her into him, "I love you, Minhee! I can't think without you, breathe without you- you're my day light shooting star, remember? We're supposed to be together!", Minhee squeezed her eyes shut. He didn’t know it if he was already broke her heart. She placed her free hand on her heart, clutching her heart tightly, as if it could settle her beating heart, his words hurt her so much.

"Daylight shooting stars aren't real! This was never real! It wasn't right! Look at me.. you may want me, but you don't love me. Do you know what love is? What it truly is?”.

His grip on her arms tightened, "I know what it is. It's what I feel when I'm with you. I know what I'm doing is selfish, I know, but I-"

"Luhan," she said lightly, "Love isn't selfish”. She thought of Yixing again, about how even after she rejected him he stayed with her, his feelings growing stronger by the day, but never showing through, all for her. "Love," she continued, "Love is unselfish. It's sacrificing yourself for someone else. It's when all you want is to please that one person, to the extent that you don't even have time to think about yourself. You don't even want to think about yourself. It's only them, because they are your heart now, and they keep you beating and keep you alive and you have no reason to believe in anything or anyone else but your heart" she stated. "That's what love is. I see it everyday, in him”.

“You not love him..,” his voice broke and his eyes watered, can’t accept the fact that he has her as his wife makes him die inside little by little, each time he are reminded of it.

“I love my husband and my childs, Can’t you see it that I’m happy now? Luhan., Let’s face it, either of us..”.

“Your marriage was a mistake”, he cut in, Minhee look at him confused. “You never love him, you just stuck with that stupid marriage..”.

“I love him, really..”

“Of course you loved him, you prove it with easily spread your leg for...”,

“ENOUGHHH..!!!”, she slap Luhan’s face hard, her emotion finally breaking through, her eyes b with tears of anger. “How could you, say that to me..?”, Minhee asked sadly,

“Well, it’s true..!!”, disgust written on his face.

“Nooo It’s wrong..!! the fact, I was pregnant and YOU LEAVE US...!!”, yelled frantically, glare to him while tears were running down her face. It just came out. She knew instantly it was the worst mistake that should she keep forever. She pushed his roughly before ran out the car. Luhan frozen, he couldn’t believe his ears.