It was just another day for me. I was supposed to get up early for my first subject which would be seven o’clock in the morning. I was rushing while walking since I got up late.

“Oh God,” I sighed as I got into the bus. I walked inside and found the only vacant seat at the very back. I walked there and saw a guy with earphones in his ears while looking outside the window.

I sat beside him and closed my eyes so that I could rest. As I was closing my eyes, I felt like someone was watching me. So I decided to open my eyes and then I found out that this guy beside me was the one watching me. He immediately diverted his eyes to other direction when I caught him. Is it just me or I saw him blushing?

“Whatever,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes again.

“Do we have some assignments?” I suddenly heard a voice. I opened my eyes again and this time, I recognized he was talking to me.

“Assignments? Are you my classmate?” I asked back.

He showed me a shy smile. “You don’t know?”

“Obviously,” I answered without interest. “Well, about the assignments… our professors didn’t discuss anything yesterday since there was an event. Wait—you’re supposed to know that…” I looked at him suspiciously.

“I was absent.” He was still smiling. I don’t know why but I feel like I don’t want to see him smile like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

“Oh, if you’re absent yesterday that’s not a case… the event was announced even a month ago. It was even posted in the bulletin.” I answered raising an eyebrow.

“… For a month,” he mumbled.

“Huh?”

“I was absent for a month,” he said as he looked outside the window. So that answers it, that’s why I don’t know him. He’s absent for a month? Wow, just wow.

“Why?” I asked out of curiosity.

He looked at me as if hesitating to answer my question. “What if… this would be the last day you’re living, what’s the first thing you want to do before your life end?”

“Huh?!” I looked at him with a puzzled expression. It’s so far for an answer.

“Would you still want to go to the school?” he asked again.

“I think I won’t,” I answered. He looked at me with interest. “I should be spending that last day with my loved ones…”

“What if going to school is the only way for you to be with that loved one?” he asked.

“I could ask him to just go to my house,” I simply answered.

“What if he didn’t really know about your existence? What if… he barely knew about you… how could you ask him?”

“Oh damn it, why would you make such a hard question! Everything’s possible. And I don’t think on my last day, I wouldn’t be able to spend it with my loved one.” I said in irritation.

“Right, everything’s possible.” He smiled as he turned his head at the window. His smile... I don’t know but it makes me want to smile too.

“Do you have the project?” I asked out of boredom.

“Oh? That project we had in theology?” he asked. I nodded in response then he just raised the folder he was handling. “I guess this is the best project I ever had.” He said.

“Tch. Best, you say? It’s the trashiest project I ever had. It’s so boring.” I said plainly.

“Don’t you have any great experience?” he asked.

“No not that, it’s just like a project for elementary students! C’mon, we are now college students.” I said in a ‘duh’ expression.

“Just because you’re college doesn’t mean you’re not anymore doing stuffs like reminiscing your past experiences. Put enjoyment in everything you do.” He said.

“Tch. You’re so boring.” I said as I rolled my eyes.

I heard him chuckle. “We’re here.” He said as he stood up. I also stood up and hopped out of the bus without deciding to take a last glance on him before entering the campus.

 

***

 

“Tch. That lazy kid.” My seatmate hissed as she held a familiar folder. I took a long gaze at the folder since I think I saw it already.

“What’s that?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Oh, this? It’s our project in theology. But this folder is not mine.” She replied.

“Whose project? Can I read it?” I asked.

“Well, maybe you could be the one to pass it since our professor isn’t here now. He asked me to pass it since he’d be absent again.” She said as she placed the folder in my desk.

“W-Who is he?” I asked. I don’t know why I suddenly stuttered. The guy I’m with in the bus was the first one that went into my mind.

“Jun… Lee Jun. That guy who’s always absent?” she said as she stood up. “I’m going now, I’ll trust you with that okay?” with that, she left me.

I stared at the folder. I don’t know why I’m hesitating to read it. He wouldn’t know anyway. But why something is telling me that after I flip this folder and read it, I’d discover something… something I wouldn’t actually expect.

 

***

 

IT WAS NOT THE ORDINARY DAY FOR ME. I was literally running on my way to the bus station. And luck was on my side that I was able to ride on the bus in minutes. I walked to the very back of the bus and hoped that the same scenario would happen just like what happened yesterday.

“Last day, this would be my last chance to talk to her.

I hope that I’d get to talk to her.”

I sat quietly as I closed my eyes to stop my tears from falling. Throughout the ride to the school, I kept my eyes closed so that I would be able to stop my tears.

And when I was finally in front of our school, my heart started to beat fast.

I was walking so fast that I didn’t care if I was going to bump on anyone. I don’t care. All I care is that I’d be able to get there.

“Sir!” I said in a loud tone as soon as I was in front of the security guard that was guarding our school entrance.

“Oh dear, what do you need?”

“Sir! I am sure you know every student in here,” I said as I catch my breath. I was having a hard time talking since I was so tired of running. “Have you seen the guy named Lee Jun this morning?”

“Oh, that guy? No, I haven’t seen him yet. Why so?”

“I…” I don’t know. I don’t actually know.

“Do you want to say something to him? I can tell him if ever I see him.” He offered.

“N-Nothing… I… I just happen to forget… to bring him back his… eraser…” I said in an unsure tone. It was a big lie.

“Is that so? I can hand him that,”

“NO!” I refused in a loud tone that made everyone look at me. I lowered my head in shame and tried to calm. “I… I just want to be the one… to give him this… I want to be the one to give him his happiness….”

 

***

 

Greatest experience that God gave me?

It’s meeting her. She’s like the missing puzzle piece of my life. She made me complete. Even though she wouldn’t recognize my existence, just to see her smile makes my day complete.

I can still remember the days when I actually planned to talk to her… to get to know her. But maybe fate doesn’t want me to be in her life. Maybe she could be happy without me, that’s why.

 

***

 

“Ma’am!” I called out my professor’s name as I saw her walking on the hallway. I immediately ran towards her.

“Yes, Ms. Kim?”

“C-Can… can I have Lee Jun in my group instead?” I said hesitantly.

“Why so? He’s been absent for months… I’m afraid he wouldn’t be able to contribute in your group project.” My professor replied.

“I-it’s okay, ma’am… I can handle it. Just… just give him a chance…”

“Mr. Lee must thank you for this,” she smiled in approval.

“Thank you ma’am!”

 

After that conversation, I felt hunger. I haven’t eaten my lunch since I’ve been hunting for my professor just for that favor. Yes, I did that.

I reached for my wallet and as I opened it, his picture welcomed me. Yes, it was his picture inside my wallet. I actually cut it out from his index card that he submitted to one of our professors. I know it sounds like a stalker. But… after reading his project in theology… I finally knew what I feel towards him.

 

“Sir!”

“Oh, it’s you again!”

“Sir, is he absent again today?”

 

This would be the everyday conversation I’ve been sharing with the school’s guard. Yes, he’s the only one I could ask. He’s the only one that can answer my only question.

Before I knew it, a tear fell from my eye. I decided to go to the comfort room so that no one would see me crying like a retard. I harshly wiped my cheeks and covered my face while walking.

“Ouch—“

And that’s how I fell on the ground.

“I’m sorry, miss!” a familiar voice said. I immediately looked up just to see the guy that I’ve been waiting for. It’s been months since I last saw him.

When he recognized me, he flashed his cute smile that makes my heart melt. “Hey, it’s you… let me help you.” He said as he offered me his hand. I took his hand as he helped me stand. “I’m sorry for that,”

I can’t say a word.

It felt as though everything is just a dream.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a worried expression.

I want to speak but words won’t come out. I want to talk to him, to ask him, to hug him. I don’t know. My body won’t work the way I want it to be.

“Do you have a problem?” he asked as he held my hand and that brought me back to reality. I felt the electric spark with his touch.

“W-Where h-have y-you been?” and after I blurted out those words, I didn’t realize that I already hugged him.

He didn’t say a word. He was just hugging me back.

“You know where I have been,”

“I don’t know,”

“You knew,”

“I said I don’t know,”

“Then why are you acting like that?”

“….”

He chuckled. “It feels good to be hugged by you.”

And that made the awkward atmosphere. I pushed him with a mad expression.

“What?” he chuckled.

“You… you sound like a maniac!” I said while blushing.