So long, Chanyeol

So long, Baekhyun

A/N: Okay, so I hadn't actually thought about writing this.This story was originally done, to be honest. But then, during a sleepless night, I got an idea after visiting a hospital near where I live. So at 3 a.m I wrote this, which may explain why it's a bit weird. 

It's the epilouge, and the afterstory to what happens to Baekhyun when Chanyeol leaves.

 

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"Baekhyun, this is getting ridicolous. Stop figthing, and take your medicine."

But Baekhyun still saw Chanyeol wherever he went. On the streets. By the table. The shadow of Chanyeol waited on him in his room when he went to bed. No. It wasn't true. If Chanyeol really was gone, then why did Baekhyun keep seeing him everywhere? Why did Chanyeol answer him, when Baekhyun asked things? They were all wrong. So wrong.

 

Baekhyun gripped his hair and screamed, tears streaming down his face. No one made a commotion out of it. This was far too normal for them to even bother. It was just one of Baekhyun's usual outbursts. They would happen once in a while, unpredictable and uncontrollable. And there was nothing else do to, than force-feeding the poor boy sedatives until he dozed off. Because sometimes, his mind would clear up just enough for him to realize that Chanyeol wasn't there. And it made him go insane. Sedatives kept him down, but clouded his mind as well, returning it to it's original, confused state. Just to start another day over, as plain and grey as the last one.

 

But his friends still came to visit. Baekhyun had long since stopped going to school. Once, he had been really popular there. At least, he thought so. He wasn't really sure anymore, as his memories from his high school-days were surpressed, and they became harder and harder to remember. School wasn't a topic anymore. When Chanyeol stopped going, he did as well. There wasn't a thing Baekhyun wouldn't do for Chanyeol. Chanyeol had become his reason for living, and without him, Baekhyun was nothing.

When Baekhyun got into his bedroom that evening after meeting his friends, Chanyeol waited by his bed.

"Oh, you're there?" Baekhyun grinned.

Chanyeol nodded and smiled in response. "I heard your friends visited again. I hope you aren't forgetting me, though?" He asked jokingly and patted the bed beside him, for Baekhyun to sit down. Baekhyun smiled and walked over, laughing at Chanyeol's wittiness.

"Like I could ever forget you, Yeollie," he said. "Not in a million years. You're my reason for living, you know?"

Chanyeol didn't reply to this, but continued smiling. He often did that. Ever since they met, just smiling instead of answering had been his habit. But Baekhyun had no problems with it at all.

 

Baekhyun knew that he loved movies, and frequently bought new ones for them to watch. As the quietness surrounded them once again, he remembered what the woman next door had come to him with the previous day.

"Oh, that's right!" he exclaimed and jumped off his bed. Chanyeol looked curiously up at him, cocking his head slightly, silently asking him what he was doing.

In his exitedness Baekhyun didn't answer, but ran over to his bookshelf to fetch the new movie.

"It's called A Werewolf Boy," he said as he sat down and gave the cover to Chanyeol to look at. Chanyeol nodded, but gestured for Baekhyun to turn it around so he could read it. Baekhyun did as he was told, and looked intensely at Chanyeol as he read it.

Sometime in the future, he would tell him he loved him. He didn't know when. Sometime. It could be anytime, anywhere. But he'd tell him, that was for sure. He just needed to find the right moment.

For the next couple of hours, they watched the movie. Baekhyun lay cuddled up in the crook of Chanyeol's neck, his arm protetively around him. It was how they always lay when watched a movie. In the couch, with a blanket protectively around them both. Baekhyun loved it. As he loved everything else about Chanyeol.

When the movie ended, it was late. Baekhyun was worried that Mrs Park, who dropped by sometimes, would be worried, so he sent Chanyeol straight home as soon as the last scene cut to black.

"Good night, Chanyeol," Baekhyun whispered, curling up under his blanket in his bed. He'd much rather have Chanyeol here with him, but he didn't know if Mrs Park would accept that.

"See you tomorrow," the soft, deep voice of Chanyeol replied silently. Then Baekhyun shut the lights, and soundly went to sleep.

 

The next day, his friend Joonmyeon visited. He came here quite often - more frequently than most people. But it wasn't that weird. They were childhood-friends, after all.

"Hyunnie," Joonmyeon smiled as he came in the door. In one hand he had a pack of something that seemed like - and Baekhyun really hoped it was - doughnuts. He hadn't eaten them in ages. His mother refused to buy them for him, and his friends never came with anything but fruit. They were so boring, compared to Joonmyeon. But then again, Joonmyeon was boring compared tl Chanyeol. Everyone was boring, compared to Chanyeol.

"Myeonnie!" Baekhyun exclaimed and Joonmyeon entered, and gave him a big hug. When the welcoming was done, he smiled and poked Joonmyeon in the arm.

"What have you got there?" he asked innocently, like he hadn't guessed already.

But Joonmyeon had of course looked though him, and grinned as he placed the pack on Baekhyun's desk. "Today, I brought potatoes, cucumbers and rice," he joked and held the box forward for Baekhyun to take it. "Still want it?"

Baekhyun shook his head, but quickly grabbed the box. "You wish," he said and opened it, taking out a big chocolate-doughnut.

"I swear, Myeonnie, you are the best!" There was a time when he would've said 'I love you', in a brotherly way of course. But now, after meeting Chanyeol, he never used those words on anybody but Yeollie.

And that reminded him. "Oh," he exclaimed, after eating half the box of the delicious doughnuts. Joonmyeon had been here for an hour already, and they had talked about everything. How school was going, career-choices, just plain everyday-life.

Joonmyeon cocked his head slightly. "What?" he asked. This was one of the notable differences between Chanyeol and Joonmyeon. Chanyeol never asked what. He just tilted his head, waiting for Baekhyun to answer.

"Yeollie is coming later today. If you stay, you can meet him!" Baekhyun grinned. He was so happy that he had Chanyeol. So happy that what they shared together, still remained.

And all of a sudden, Joonmyeon looked uneasy, fidgeting with his hands and looking out of the window. Then he shook his head. "No," he said and shook his head. "I should probably go. I have more homework left to do,"

Baekhyun knew the importance of homework, and looked at Joonmyeon with an irritated look. "Then why are you were? You should be home, studying! You can't become a doctor of you don't!" He exclaimed, standing up from his bed. He grabbed Joonmyeon's hand, and dragged him towards the door. "Get going!" he ordered. Joonmyeon nodded, slightly unsure, and put on his shoes. After a short while he was out of the door, and Baekhyun went to lay down on the couch again. Whoa, having people over was always so tiring! Only having Chanyeol there wasn't.

 

And just as Baekhyun thought of him, Chanyeol came walking in though the door Joonmyeon had walked out of minutes before.

"Oh, hey, Yeollie!" Baekhyun grinned as the other boy sat down beside him. "Did you meet Joonmyeon on your way down?"

Chanyeol shook his head. "No, should I?" he asked. Baekhyun nodded.

"You didn't meet him? Weird. You two should have passed each other! Well, I guess Myeonnie just is that fast." he said, thinking over it. Yep, that was probably the case.

Chanyeol averted his gaze from Baekhyun, and ran his finger over the worn couch. "It's dusty," he remarked. "Don't you ever clean?" Chanyeol didn't really like it being dusty, Baekhyun knew that. But for some reason, the kind lady next door always came and cleaned for him each friday. Baekhyun figured his parents paid her. But then again, she hadn't come for a couple of weeks...

Baekhyun shook his head at Chanyeol's question. "Nope. A lady usually does it for me,"

This made Chanyeol roll his eyes. "Really, Baekkie? You're getting sloppy. What do you say about we clean a little bit?"

Baekhyun pouted. "Are you serious?" he asked and looked down, bringing out his puppy-face. But he knew it wouldn't help as Chanyeol was way too used to it, and soon after gave up and went to get some cleaning products.

 

Baekhyun never touched the cupboard in the back of his bedroom, where all the cleaning-products were. He didn't really know why. It just was like that. He never felt like opening the doors, and he didn't even remember what was inside. It was like somthing was buried inside it, something painful that he didn't want to remember. Well, he'd know now at least, as Chanyeol ordered him to clean. It couldn't possibly be that bad?

As Baekhyun opened the top drawer of the cupboard, he didn't find cleaning-products. Instead, he found a small, red box with a golden ribbon on it. It was truly beautiful. And it seemed strangely familiar...

He decided that this was more important that cleaning as of now, as he felt steangely attatched to it. So instead of coming out with sponges and soap, he came out to Chanyeol with the little box. Going straight past the taller, he sat down in front of the tv with his legs crossed, without saying anything for a short while. Should he really be opening rhis in front of Chanyeol? He felt as if the box had something to do with him. But then he changed his mind. Baekhyun and Chanyeol belonged together. They shared everything.

"Wait, what is this?" Baekhyun then asked and scratched the back of his neck as he opened the box. Inside, it was a dvd, with the words "to my dear Baekhyun. Please do watch" messily written on it, in Chanyeol's writing. Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol, questioning. "Did you make this?"

Chanyeol shrugged, "Dunno," he replied. "Let's watch it and find out."

So Baekhyun put the dvd into his player, and after a couple of seconds Chanyeol's familiar face lit up on the screen.

He looked at the screen and slowly turned to Chanyeol as he said it. "But look, it's you. Of course it must've been you who made this,"

But Chanyeol was gone. Well, then again, that often happened. He was probably at the toilet or something.

And Baekhyun decided to not wait for Chanyeol, but watch the video himself instead. It was Chanyeol who had made it after all, so it surely didn't do anything. He probably knew what was coming already.

As Chanyeol's face lit up the screen, he tapped the camera-lens a couple of times.

“Hello, hello? Is thing on? Oh, there,” his voice floated through the speakers on the tv, and Baekhyun laughed. Chanyeol certainly wasn't very smart with technological things, that was for sure.

“Well… I guess, hey, Baekhyun. If you are seeing this, then I just want to say that I am very sorry. You are the best, more fantastic person in the whole world, and you are so precious to me. And before you start asking – yes, I wrote all of this myself. For once, I want my words to tell you what I want them to." At this point, Baekhyun wondered what was happening. What did Chanyeol want to tell him? What was so important for Chanyeol to make a video about? He was on the toilet after all, he could just tell him, himself.

"And to start things off – I’m so sorry Baekhyun. I am so happy, I feel so lucky to have someone like you. But I haven’t been completely honest with you. Remember that time when we talked about tumours the second year we knew each other? I pretended I didn’t know about it, just so I could hear your amazing voice tell me what it was. The doctors have explained to me exactly what it is a thousand times already, but I wanted your voice to say it. At least, you know what it is, so I won’t have to explain it." And Baekhyun remembered that. Slowly, bits and pieces of his high school life was emerging from wherever they were hiding. Yes, they had talked about tumours. But why was Chanyeol bringing them up now?

But it was weird, though. It was like Baekhyun knew the next lines before Chanyeol said them in the video. It was like he had heard this before, somewhere. And then Chanyeol said that he had a tumour, and that the light in his eyes might be blown out any minute. Baekhyun tried to process it all. Was Chanyeol dying? No, that couldn't be true. His Yeollie wouldn't die. They were going to be together forever.

 

"Well, I guess you know where this is going already. Just know that I want blue flowers. I think that blue is the most beautiful. So… yeah, over to the main thing.” At this point, he sat still for a few seconds, moving in his seat.

Baekhyun felt uneasy all of a sudden. Like he knew something was was going to come. He had heard these words before, he knew it. He knew where this was going already. And the tears, which he didn't know where came from, or why they came, started to form in the corner of his eyes. What was all this talk about blue flowers? If that was what Chanyeol wanted, Baekhyun would certainly give him some. But why?

 

“Baekkie, I was never able to properly tell you. I really wanted to, all the four years we knew each other. But I was… afraid, I guess. Anyways. Byun Baekhyun, I love you. With all my heart. Forever, and ever, until the end. Even after my heart has stopped beating, even after I am put in the ground. Baekhyun, you have become my reason for living. And I am so sorry I never got to tell you. Goodbye, Baekkie. I’ll miss you. Please move forward, without me slowing you down. Please find someone to love, like I love you. But most importantly – please don’t forget about me. Because even though I’m watching from above, I’ll still love you.”

The screen went black, and Baekhyun just sat there. After his heart stopped beating. After he is put in the ground. Finding someone else to love.

 

And the months and years Baekhyun had spent in confusion, finally started sink in. His memories slowly came back. But not wanting to see them, he gripped his hair and screamed. He didn't want to see this! He didn't want to feel this! Baekhyun quickly got on hos feet, and ran to the bathroom, where Chanyeol had gone.

"Chanyeol!" he shouted and knocked on the door several times. "Chanyeol!"

But no one opened, and Baekhyun decided to go in. He opened the wooden door and expected to see Chanyeol inside, either angry or laughing his off, but he saw neither. He saw nothing. Then, where had Chanyeol gone? He ran around the house, checking all of the rooms several times. No Chanyeol anywhere. Then he went to the front door, to open it. But it was locked. Had it always been locked? He couldn't remember. He had never, in all the time he was here, tried to open it even once. He had gotten all he needed, served right in his lap.

So he ran over to the old phone which hung on the wall. He recieved calls on it every now and then, but had never tried to call someone with it himself.

"Where am I?" Baekhyun asked desperately, as he called the first number on the list that hung on the wall beside his phone.

"Seoul central mental hospital," a lady's voice answered in the end. And Beakhyun realized. And Beakhyun understood. He was wrong. This was the reason all his friends became uneasy when he talked about Chanyeol. This was why Mrs Park came to visit. This was why he didn't live at home.

 

Chanyeol was dead.

 

 

 

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chanyeolstagram #1
Chapter 2: i can't believe that i ma crying right now.
yanzweiger #2
Chapter 2: Omg this is so heartbreaking, but sweet at the same time. Great story!!
EternalSinger
#3
Chapter 2: This actually made me cry!
hwithme #4
Chapter 1: ......... Well, can you buy me a new heart? Because my heart is broken. <////3 What is nice to notice is that in the most of the baekyeol's fanfics is actually BaekHyun who die and now you made ChanYeolie die D: And I like it ♥ Thank You ♥
blind_angel #5
Chapter 1: Ohmygosh... So sad ;n; and beautiful
xiuhanislove #6
:'( I cried...... It was so sad.....:'(
but I liked it :)