I scowled at the man in front of me, trying my best to show everyone that I hated him with a fiery passion. I watched as he smiled at the people before starting his speech. I tried not to roll my eyes at his words. Everything about him annoyed me. The way he gave that awkward laugh before starting to talk, the way his hands were pressed together, the way he sweated, the way he talked, the way he paused before he took a long breath...I think you get it. I don’t think there is a single person I hate on this planet more than this guy: Kim Himchan. I scoffed as he thanked my brother and my family, he didn’t mean any of it. I wanted to laugh out loudly as he almost tripped when stepping down from the stage, but no one else seemed to notice. I saw my brother meet him on the side, and the two shared a hug. Remind me not to touch my brother until he takes a shower. I watched him walk around and move toward his table, which unfortunately was also my table. He sat down across of me, and gave me a quick, nervous smile. I frowned at him before quickly turned my head away from him and watched the next speaker go up. The night continued this way.
        It was my brother’s graduation, and all of his friends and colleagues were here tonight to celebrate, meaning he would be too, considering he was my brother’s best friend. The two literally grew up together, well actually we all kind of grew up together. When I was younger I hung around a lot with the two. We all played soccer and rugby out on the field in our neighborhood. Believe it or not,  many of my childhood memories included him.
        Thankfully, the boring speeches ended in 2 hours, so there was a little bit of time left to relax. I watched my brother go around greeting people and thanking them. He wore an awkward smile, and I knew he hated this much more than me. He hated these social gatherings, and it wasn’t like he was anti-social or anything, he just hated formal things, especially when I was there too. For some reason he was always annoyed with everything I did, and at first it bothered me a lot, but now I’ve learned to deal with it. Not everyone can like you, right? He came to my table, and of course he greeted Himchan only. He didn’t even meet my eye. I silently sighed. Ok, so maybe I was a little hopeful. It was his graduation after all, and he would be leaving the country in a week. One smile to his sister wouldn’t kill him, or so I thought. I watched as he interacted with Himchan and sat down next to him.
        The two talked about something that I couldn’t care less about, and my eyes wandered, looking for people I could maybe talk to. I didn’t find anyone, but the fact that my brother and Himchan were now laughing loudly irked me. My brother still refused to acknowledge my presence. I ignored the feeling of hurt in my chest, and kicked myself away from the table. It was too loud for anyone to hear the screech my chair made, and I was too mad to care anyway. I quickly stood up, and walked as gracefully away as I could. I turned around for a second, to see if they even noticed or cared, but they continued the conversation normally, as if nothing happened. I was seething in anger and accidently bumped into a waiter, spilling the drinks all over myself.
        I was so mad I felt the tears in my eyes threaten to fall. I looked down at my gray dress. It was now dirtied with the red punch, and it took all my willpower not to cry out right then. I held back my tears, and grabbed a few napkins trying to dab at the stain. The flustered waiter tried to help me, but I pushed him away. I didn’t want to deal with people now, I couldn’t care about how he felt. I made myself even more upset, as the stain spread more. Ugh, dab not smear I had thought to myself, but while pushing the waiter away, I had smeared the stain. Now it spread, and I looked like a mess. Before anyone else could see the graduating kid’s little sister make a mess of a party, I ran out onto the terrace, making sure to avoid everyone’s eyes.
        The cool summer air helped somewhat, but I was still so mad that my tears spilled out before I could get away from the door. It felt like my face was on fire as I ran out to sit on one of the chairs next to the pool. In moments I was sobbing like an idiot. I hated myself so much at that moment, even more than Himchan. I thought of everything that had happened today. It was close to being one of the worst days of my life. I had to deal with Himchan, sit through 2 hours of boring speeches, endure the fact that nobody cared about me, not even my brother, and I had even managed to spill bright red juice on a dress I was saving to wear for a special occasion. This was the dress I had bought with my mother. It was the last thing I had from her.
        I saw my reflection in the pool, and fresh tears poured out again. Why was I so miserable? Why was I such a mess? Why couldn’t I just hold it in, and act normal? Maybe this was why my own brother hated me...I was such a loser. I sobbed again for about 15 minutes, before I forced myself to stop. I had to get my emotions under control. I took deep breaths as I tried to dry my face with my hands. No way I could go back into the party. My face was probably bright red, and the tear streaks were noticeable. I calmed myself, and slipped off my shoes. I finally felt relaxed, this whole week had been so hectic, not to mention I had to set up this stupid celebration myself, with no input from my so-called brother. I dipped my feet into the pool, and laid down. Right now, I could care less how dirty the floors were. I just wanted so peace. 
        As soon as I let my eyes close, and relaxed under the silver moonlight, a soft voice startled me. I quickly sat up and almost fell face first into the pool. I turned around to see someone slowly walking toward me. “Are you alright?” He timidly asked. My heart melted at his statement. The fact that he cared was just so comforting. I was a little startled as well. Who was this person? It clearly wasn’t my brother, it wasn’t his voice. I slowly stood up, but his voice called out again, “No, its ok. Sit back down.” I don’t know why, but I listened to his words, and found myself sitting back down by the pool, my feet slipping back into the cool water. He made his way toward me until he was standing next to me.
        I looked up, and was surprised to see someone I knew. “Oh Youngjae!” I exclaimed, while trying to stand back up, before he gently pushed me to sit down. Youngjae was a senior at my school. We weren’t best friends, but we had talked often, and had met through a food and culture club. He also tutored me sometimes, so we weren’t very awkward with each other. He was actually a better brother to me than my own brother.
        As he sat down he softly teased me, “”What happened to sunbae, huh?” I blushed at my mistake, but he forgot about it as he settled down. He took of his suit jacket and placed it around my shoulders. “Even though it’s summer, it’s still a little chilly. You’re going to get sick.” He chided me, and I accepted it. I finally got a good chance to look at him and realized he was dressed like a waiter. I wasn’t about to ask, but he seemed to notice, and explained. “I’m actually working here. Things kind of got tough back at home, so I decided to help out. Hyung can’t do everything by himself.”
        Oh. Suddenly my problems seemed so small. Here I was, crying cause I ruined my favorite dress, while Youngjae was working double time because of financial issues. I only nodded, and he noticed this as well. “Hey...don’t frown. You only look pretty when you smile, you know…” I laughed, and he joined me as well before he got serious. He looked me in the eyes, and didn’t hesitate to ask me. “Why were you crying?”
        I looked away. How could I tell him that I was crying because I was so furious? Does anyone even cry because they’re mad? Just thinking about it seemed stupid. He was still staring at me expectantly and I knew I would have to give him an answer. “I…I don’t know…” I tried to lie, and he could see right through it.
        He turned my head toward him, and looked right into my eyes, as if he was trying to read my mind. “It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me. I can understand, but know that if you ever need someone there, I’m here for you. Just because your brother is leaving doesn’t mean that you will be alone. I’m here. Ok?” He made me nod, and laid my head on his shoulder. It honestly felt comfortable, but his words were so wrong. I was sad and crying cause I would have no one left after my brother? What a lie. Like I had anyone before. My brother was barely in my life as we grew older, and nothing would change after he left.
        A bitter laugh escaped my lips. “I was always alone.” I muttered, despite myself.
        Youngjae turned towards me. “What is that supposed to mean?” I could see the frown forming on his face as he studied me.
        This time I couldn’t stop myself, and the words spilled out. “My brother never really cared for me anyway. He doesn’t even talk to me. Today is his graduation, and he didn’t even talk to me once... he didn’t even take a picture. Even today he ignored me. Honestly, it won’t matter if he’s here or gone, I was alone anyway after Mom…” I laughed again, the sound coming out of my mouth cracking as my emotions caught up to me. “I just don’t understand. We were so close when we were younger, but now he can’t stand to be in the same room as me. The last time we talked he yelled at me for being a brat, and being self-centered. And that was over a year ago, more than that...maybe…” I stopped, not even knowing what I was saying anymore. I shook my head, I couldn't control my feelings.  “Nevermind...forget I said anything-”
        “No...Stop, it’s ok. Honestly, I would have never guessed that you guys weren’t close.” At this I laughed-my bitter one-again.  Wrong again. “It’s interesting how people always seem perfectly normal, but then when you look closely nothing is right.” I found myself nodding. He was right. When I first saw him I thought he was the typical smart kid, topping in everything, caring only about grades and school. But, there was so much more to him. His family was constantly struggling financially. There was even a point where he couldn’t afford lunch. He had to grin and bear it, and to anyone looking from afar, his life would have seemed perfect. “But, you don’t have to be alone. You have me.” He smiled at me, and his words went straight to my heart. Before when he had said it, it was playful, and it was for when I needed to talk. But now, just now when he told me that he had meant it. He honestly cared for me, and that was all I needed right now.
        I felt my tears returning, and I wanted to slap myself. Why was I crying over everything? I sniffled, and realized I was probably a total wreck. Youngjae teased me, trying to get me to smile again. “Ehhh...What are these rain drops doing in your eyes?” He brought his hand up, and softly brushed the tears away. I softly smiled at his childishness, and he chuckled as well. “Now...let’s fix your dress shall we?” I looked up confused, and he pulled a small bottle from his pants pocket. It was one of those stain removers, and I laughed again, he was always prepared. He shifted so he was closer to me, and lifted the dress away from my body. “Lets see…shake the bottle...slowly apply to fabric, dab don’t  rub to avoid smearing...clean with wet fabric…” He read off the directions as he proceeded to try to clean my dress.
        He was leaning down, and I couldn’t stop staring at his face. I never got a chance to appreciate him properly, until now. His skin looked really smooth and soft, unlike mine. I have dry skin, and half of it is covered in scars. He was actually really attractive, and seeing him care so much made my heart beat incredibly fast. Since he was so close, I was afraid he would hear it but he didn’t notice. After a few moments he leaned back to appreciate his work. “See...It’s almost all gone. You can barely tell…” His voice faded away as he looked back up. We suddenly seemed so close. I could almost feel his breath on my face. His eyes met mine, and I saw them lower, before he looked back up at me. He slowly leaned forward, and my heart felt like it was going to explode. I subconsciously also leaned forward, and I could see a shadow of a smile on his lips. A moment later I felt his lips on mine. His eyes were closed, and my eyes were closing as well. I felt his hand brush past my cheek as he cupped my face. It was just for a moment, but then he suddenly pulled away.
        I opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was his face, he looked just as confused as me. It was only then when I felt someone gripping my shoulders. I was suddenly flipped around and felt a hand slap me, hard. It took me a second to realize that my brother had slapped me, and I blankly stared at him what just happened? I held my cheek, the same one Youngjae had held so delicately, as I felt more betrayed than hurt.
       Before anything else happened he started yelling at me. I can't even remember anything he said. It was all a jumble of words, but they were all hurtful. He said something about how he couldn't believe he had such a disgraceful sister, and how he hated being related to me. He then went on about how I was kissing a random guy, and my heart couldn't take it anymore. Who was he to say this all to me? Was he my brother? He never acted like one, why was it now that he was dutifully doing his job as a brother? What made me even more upset was that Himchan was there. He was holding onto Youngjae, and he had an unreadable expression plastered on his face. This is why I hated him, he always ruined everything for me.
       Even when I was little, he would ruin it by calling me a baby and a girl, and have all of the guys boycott hanging out with me. He always made me feel low, and like trash, and I hated everysingle second of it. I liked to believe that he made my brother think the same way. I didn't even know what I did to him. I felt like going up to him and yelling at him for being a jerk. I wanted to humiliate him like my brother was humiliating me right now. But I didn't. I just stood there, and let my brother throw all the hateful words at me. I deserved it right? It was his special day, his graduation, and here I was on the rooftop kissing some random guy, right? I was a disgrace, he couldn't be more correct.
      After a while I muted my brother, but he kept going. And I used to imagine the moment where he would talk to me and be nice. The only reason he talks to me is to show me how much he hates me. I heard Himchan mumble something and my brother suddenly turned to Youngjae. In two steps he strided over to Youngjae and roughly grabbed his collar. I didn't even try to hear what he was saying anymore. He then pushed Youngjae to the ground and I silently watched as the only person who cared about me was getting hurt because of me. Maybe I really was a brat. I couldn't stand up for the people who meant to world to me. I was weak, I was disgraceful, I wasn't meant to be loved, or cared for. Seeing Youngjae's pained expression made something inside me snap. I couldn't let Youngjae get hurt.
        The next moments where a blur as I suddenly stood in front of Youngjae, trying to protect him with my presence. My brother scoffed at me, but I tried to whisper 'no'. This was enough. If he wanted to hit someone, he could hit me, he could punish me, but not Youngjae. The only thing Youngjae did was care for me, and he didn't deserve this. My brother then stepped forward and proceeded to grab the top of my dress. "Only if mother was still alive." He spat out, before throwing me on the ground next to Youngjae. His words pierced my heart, and he turned to storm away, his happy mood clearly ruined. I turned to see Himchan follow him. He turned back and he met my eyes, his lips curved in mischievously.And at the moment I knew.  He had done this all along. He made sure I would get caught, and he made sure my brother hated me even more. What did he even get out of this? I was so tired I couldn't even be angry as he tsked me before walking back into the room.  

  I sat there, lifelessly on the floor before I heard Youngjae's sweet voice. "Are you ok?" Why was he the only one who cared?