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Tao POV

I just realised. I don’t know love.

I thought I knew. Being there for one another, supporting one another through tough times, sharing our emotional highs and lows in life. The warm, fuzzy hugs, snuggling against one another while the rain poured outside, safe in the arms of each other. Those walks by the seaside, waves lapping softly at the edges of the shore, the way our love percolated into the bedrocks of our heart, forming a reservoir of love and comfort to draw on during tough times. The times when we stood side by side, staring into the universe in each other’s eyes, where silence reigned king, where our hearts connected as one; there was no need for words, emotions flowing through the connection in our hearts.

I was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Love was the pain that we took to prevent the other from hurt, the ache of the heart when we missed the other, the many tears shed during our loneliest moments. Love isn’t perfect, nothing is all romance and no pain, instead with rips and tears in our bonds, where we sacrifice oneself for the other.

But this. This was too much. She sacrificed her sight, her life, her future for me. Jae-Eun… How could you be so stupid? What did I do to deserve this…

Rising unsteadily to my feet, I made my way barefoot to her bed, emotional threshold steadily corroded to a final precipitace where I stood, unsure and alone. Jae-Eun tilted her head to the right, an almost exact replica of what I did previously, thick gauze covering her eyes.  Eyes that would stay closed to the world forever, unable to see even before Death came to claim her… She still looked much the same from the last time we met, and I could almost pretend I was seeing her sick in bed at home, nothing more than a common flu, but for the white hospital gown instead of the usual blue she always wore, giving her an air of vulnerability.

‘Tao?’ God. She actually recognised my presence.

Her hands reached out, outstretched arms grasping thin air, looking for me. I quickly crossed the room, interlacing my fingers with her as we rejoiced once more in our reunion, yet with a hint of bitterness.

She did this for me…

I sat on her bed, hugging her lithe petite frame to mine, pulling her head close to rest in my chest, in much the same way she used to do with me. Nestling into my arms, she let out a soft satisfied sigh, body relaxing in my hold.

‘Don’t cry, Tao-ah’ she murmured quietly as she pressed her body closer to mine, trying to comfort me with her presence, hand trailing up my shoulders, finding my face. Choking back another imminent sob, I tried to swallow my tears past the lump in my throat. Trying to stay strong for Jae-Eun, but severely failing. My heart ached with the heavy sacrifice weighing on my every move, doubting my existence in life, why was it her, I would rather face the blindness than let her take her own away from me…

‘It’s okay if you want to leave me for someone else, as long as can do this, you can enjoy your life with someone else who makes you happier, with someone who won’t be a burden to you.’ She even said that with a smile, albeit tinges of sadness, little creases marring the perfection in her imperfect face that I loved so much. Those words just pushed me past my breaking point.