AN: First of all… I wanna say thank you for all of you who have read, subscribed and even leaved comment on this fic. You Guys remind me of that most wonderful feeling a writer could have that I’ve almost forgot. :’D And I couldn't believe I've abandoned this fic for almost six years... (I finished the second chapter around 2008/2009). This chapter dedicated for all of you who’ve patiently waited for an update. It isn’t much but this the best I could do for now. Oh, and it may contain serious grammar error. Please bear with it. Kekeke.

 

…

 

The following silence felt like forever. Both of them said nothing. That boy, Eunhyuk, stared at Donghae calmly, barely showing any emotions, and Donghae stared back at him blankly.

 

“Donghae-ah?” Eunhyuk finally broke the ice.

 

Donghae blinked, getting back his consciousness. Looking straight at Eunhyuk, he let out a soft “What?”

 

“The man you met this afternoon is not me, it’s Lee Hyukjae.” Eunhyuk reiterated. “And I’m Eunhyuk.”

 

Few more seconds passed in silence as Donghae tried to register Eunhyuk’s words.

 

“I don’t know Hyukjae have a twin.” He murmured.

 

“He doesn’t.” Eunhyuk nodded. “I’m not his twin. I’m…” he hesitated, but then the look on his face hardened as he went on. “…I’m another personality of him.”

 

Another silence reigned as Donghae tried, again and even harder this time, to comprehend what the other boy said. Slowly, he opened his mouth, but finding nothing to say. Eunhyuk, the other personality of the boy he knew as Hyukjae, was staring at him with pleading look on his eyes.

 

“Donghae-ah, please, say something…”

 

“I…” Donghae stuttered, shaking his head in disbelief, and unknowingly anger and rage started boiling inside his body. What kind of joke is this?

 

“Look!” He shouted, surprising both himself and Eunhyuk. “Look, Lee Hyukjae, if you don’t want to be friend with me anymore you can always say it straight to the point! You don’t have to make up some ridiculous excuses. A split personality? Really? Your creativity sure astonishing!”

 

He panted, looking at Eunhyuk whose face wasn’t even stirred at his harsh words.

 

“I know you’ll be like this.” The red-haired said, and Donghae sensed sadness on his voice. “I know it’s hard to believe. I won’t force you to believe me right now, but please, please, think, and then answer this question, have you ever found weird things when you met Hyukjae and not me?”

 

Donghae said nothing.

 

“Think, and when you’re ready to answer it, just let me know.” Eunhyuk smiled vaguely, backing away. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

 

Just like that, he left.

 

And Donghae did nothing but standing there alone, dumbfounded.

 

 

 

--

 

“Donghae-ah!”

 

Donghae froze and next second he felt his mother crashed onto him and locked him with a tight hug.

 

“Donghae-ah, Donghae-ah…” her voice was shaking so vigorously that Donghae knew she was crying. A gush of guilt pricked his heart as he lifted his arms and placed it on her shoulder awkwardly. “I’m sorry.” He said almost inaudibly.

 

His mother broke off the hug and now looked at him with tearful eyes. Donghae could see her bloodshot and puffy eyes, and the black circles under her eyes told him that she didn’t have enough sleep lately. It gave another pang of guilt to his heart.

 

“No, Son, no, I’m sorry.” She whispered, choked at her own tears. “Just… Please, don’t ever leave me like that anymore. I thought you’d never come back. I tried to look for you but I realized I didn’t even know any of your friend or your working place…” she paused, scrutinizing him. “Where have you been? Have you eaten? You want me to cook you something?”

 

“I want to sleep.” Donghae said without looking at her eyes. “My head hurts.”

 

“Yes, of course, get some sleep.” She squeezed his arms. “You want to take some aspirin?”

 

“No. I’m okay.” He walked toward his room, his mother followed suit. He opened the door and got into his room.

 

“I need to be alone.” He stated, and her mother froze in front of the door. “Please.”

 

She looked at him, her eyes told that she had things to say, but Donghae looked back sternly. They would need time to talk about things between them, yes, but not now. Not when his head was already occupied with so many other things he needed to think about. And she finally nodded. “Let me know if you need something.” She flashed a weak smile.

 

Donghae nodded and closed the door before her and locked it.

 

Sighing, he dived onto his bed. There were so many things inside his mind now. His head throbbed painfully and he tried to empty his mind in vain.

 

Eunhyuk’s words kept echoing on his head.

 

Have you ever found weird things when you met Hyukjae and not me?

 

“But you’re Hyukjae.” He hissed under his breath, closing his eyes.

 

Weird things…

 

Sure, there were some weird things. The Eunhyuk he had been spending time together with always had the dark, careless and daredevil image on him, but the Hyukjae he often met at daylight was the exact opposite of him.

 

He still remembered clearly how the other stuttered and looked completely freak out when he bumped into the scary men on street. No retorts, no shouting back, no trace of courage found on him at that time. It was Hyukjae, the real Hyukjae. He was the closest Hyukjae to the Hyukjae he could barely remember when they were schoolmates. The way he acted, the look on his face, the way he dressed. He even had a girlfriend, the pretty girl who called him ‘oppa’.

Then, the one he met on his restaurant with her another time… It must be Hyukjae, too. It explained why he didn’t reply his smile or even recognized him.

 

But the one who always came whenever he finished with his job, the one who always accompanied him dancing and laughing in the park almost every night, the one who had taken him to Sungmin’s house when he drenched under the rain, it had to be Eunhyuk.

 

Donghae rubbed his forehead, trying to stop the throbs.

 

It might sound crazy but Donghae grudgingly admitted that the only explanation for those weird things might be the words Eunhyuk had blurted out, that he was really another personality of Lee Hyukjae.

 

“But how could it happen?” he whispered to himself. “What kind of circumstances have he gone through to make him like that?”

 

He sat up on his bed, staring at the wall in front of him. Tomorrow, he would find Eunhyuk.

 

--

 

“So?”

 

Donghae felt Eunhyuk eyes on him, like he was trying to study the look on his face. They were on the park, sitting on the bench like any other days they’d spent. But tonight the atmosphere was rather awkward and cold.

 

“You’re not angry anymore?” the red-haired asked.

 

Donghae grumbled. “It can wait. I just need to know what exactly happened all this time.”

 

“Where should I start…” Eunhyuk sighed heavily. “Do you have any memory about me—I mean Hyukjae—when we were schoolmates? We were never that close to each other, and I bet you didn’t even remember any single thing about me when I first appeared in front of you that night, years after we’ve graduated.”

 

Donghae nodded silently.

 

“Hyukjae doesn’t remember any clear memory about you, too.” Eunhyuk smiled. “But he has this one memory, a memory about a soccer player who won the match for our school right before the graduation day.”

 

Donghae’s eyes widened.

 

“Yes, you.” Eunhyuk stated firmly. “Lee Donghae. You were that boy who executed the last penalty kick and turned the table for our school. The genuine happiness and joy on your face when you felt the victory was the one who brought me out from my deep sleep behind his mind.”

 

“Hyukjae had never seen someone so happy as you.” He continued. “You even shed tears when your team swarmed around you, hugging you. That was my first time to see you too, only few seconds, but enough to remember your face. Hyukjae wasn’t even aware that he lost himself in those few short seconds.”

 

“Then, the next time I awakened, I was lying on his bed, wearing pajamas. I didn’t know who I am, I didn’t know where I am, I looked around, trying to search anything, anything that would give me a hint about my identity, then the image of you on that field flashed on my mind. I remembered nothing else. Only that.”

If Donghae was angry before, now he couldn’t remember why. He looked at Eunhyuk with his demanding eyes. Eunhyuk continued.

 

“And then I found this.” He lifted something in front of the other’s face.

 

“A diary?”

 

“A diary.” He reiterated. “Lee Hyukjae used to pour his feeling into this book every night, and when I read the last page, I instantly knew who I am, and what I am here for.”

 

He shoved the diary into Donghae’s hand, Donghae blinked and stared at it for awhile.

 

“Read it.” Eunhyuk ordered.

 

“Are you sure…?”

 

“Just read it, the last page.”

 

Slowly, and hesitatively, Donghae opened a page after another. They were filled by a neat handwriting, just like he always imagined Hyukjae to be. He stopped on the last page and read.

 

I’m so envious of him… He looked so happy he could fly…

Will I ever feel that happy in my life?

Ah… I really want to be free… I want to do things that I love…

 

His eyes moved from the words written on the page to Eunhyuk’s eyes.

 

“This…”

 

“Yes.” Eunhyuk nodded. “The reason why I’m awakened is that Lee Hyukjae isn’t happy with his life. And the one who triggered it is you, Donghae-ah.”

 

Silence descended between them. Donghae opened his mouth and closed it again, not really sure about what he was going to say.

 

He then managed to voice his question. “Hyukjae… What happened to him?”

 

“Being an adopted son of an important person sure a huge burden.” Eunhyuk chuckled, bitterness lingering on his voice, and Donghae’s eyes widened even more when he heard that.

 

Adopted son? Lee Hyukjae?

 

 “You are expected to be perfect, you have to be perfect. You have to be the top of the top in your school, you have to be excellent in everything you do; you can’t say ‘no’, because a ‘no’ will cause you to be locked up in your room, whips clashing to your bare skin, and hunger while your parents were away with their job to do, and they only came back when you’re ready to pass out because you’ve missed so many meals.”

 

“Lee Hyukjae has been living under his depression for more than twenty year, longing to do what he wants, but at the same time feeling obliged to pay for what his parents already did, saving him from the hellish street life, that is.”

 

It was too much for Donghae. Who knew the good boy Hyukjae had been living that kind of life all this time?

 

“But there’s this tiny part of him that still want to fight for his happiness, so here I am.” Eunhyuk finished his story.

 

Never in his life he even imagined that he would experience something as strange as this, Donghae inhaled and exhaled few times, calming himself while Eunhyuk waited for him expectantly.

 

“Why did you come to me?” he asked another question.

 

Something flashed in the other’s eyes, but Donghae couldn’t understand what it was.

 

“Because somehow I feel that you’ll be able to set him free.”

 

The answer was almost inaudible, but Donghae could hear it just fine and he eyed the red-haired boy curiously. Eunhyuk bit his lower lip and fidgeting on his spot and said nothing but. “So… We’re still friends, right?”

 

“It’s strange.” Donghae murmured. “Strange. But I guess I’ll be able to understand it better later…”

 

He got up from the bench, and Eunhyuk gasped.

 

“Donghae-ah!”

 

“What?” Donghae glanced at him. “I’m hungry, let’s buy something to eat!”

 

Eunhyuk shocked expression changed and his lips curved into a smile. “Okay.”

 

“Well… I guess I’ll call you Eunhyuk from now on.”

 

-tbc-