Chapter 1 - XiuHan

Kim Minseok lied in his bed, alone, while he listened to some songs that played in his earphones. He would casually roll to his side, look for another comfortable position, and maybe heave a sigh. Just a few moments later, his best friend, Luhan, would come barging in and bug the hell out of him, asking him to get out and maybe get some fresh air. Kim Minseok heaved another heavy sigh at the thought.

He rolled to his side again, and came face to face with his window. The day was bright, sunny, but not too much to make a person cringe. Kim Minseok stood up from his bed and walked near his window. He observed silently. The leaves in the trees motioned slowly, meaning that there was a slight wind. A bit sunny and a bit windy, a perfect day for hiking. But Kim Minseok wasn't interested in hiking. He was too lazy. Kim Minseok stifled a yawn as he headed back to his bed to lie down.

A few more minutes passed and Kim Minseok heard the door to the first level of his house open and then close. He heard the normal greeting that his mother usually gave her visitors, and quick and light footsteps that headed to his room. Kim Minseok counted mentally, '5, 4, 3, 2, 1'

"XIUMIIIIN!" Luhan screamed with a slightly high pitched voice. Kim Minseok groaned. Luhan was used to calling Kim Minseok as 'Xiumin'. Kim Minseok actually liked the name, specially since it came from Luhan's mouth.

"Can't you tone down a bit?" Xiumin suggested Luhan but Luhan just rolled his eyes. Luhan neared Xiumin that was lying on his own bed. Luhan bent over to come face to face with Xiumin and said, "Let's go out. It's a fine day to go out, Xiumin."

"I don't want to." Xiumin moaned as he hugged his pillow tightly and rolled to his side. He didn't want to face Luhan, because he knew that Luhan's cute gestures would be able to make him agree.

Luhan took a step back, making a small pout on the way. Xiumin had been locking himself up in his house ever since last week and Luhan was starting to worry. Sure, Xiumin stayed in his house almost all the time, but he would make sure to go out at least two times a week to catch some fresh air or something. Also, Xiumin stopped accepting Luhan's offers to go to the amusement park or to the mall. Xiumin, no matter how lazy or sleepy or tired, would always accept Luhan's offers. Always.

"How about a nice ice cone?" Luhan tried.

"No." Xiumin firmly said.

Luhan sighed and looked at Xiumin's well-built back. Something was wrong with Xiumin, and Luhan had to find out what that was. Luhan thought and thought about what he could do to make Xiumin budge, but in the end, he couldn't think of anything. Bribes wouldn't work on Xiumin, Luhan knew that very much. When Luhan reached the peak of his thinking abilities, he just went in and tackled Xiumin on his bed.

Luhan used his slender arms to tickle Xiumin's side and Xiumin let out a half laugh, half scream, due to the sudden impact. Instinctively, Xiumin used his strong arms to grab Luhan's arms and to stop the younger boy from tickling him. Due to strength differences, Xiumin easily managed to grab Luhan and pin him on the bed. Luhan's eyes slightly grew bigger and he stopped trying to get away from Xiumin's iron like hold. Luhan's legs were sandwiched by Xiumin's knees and Xiumin's face was only a hand away. Luhan's heartbeat became five times its normal speed.

With a look of frustration, Xiumin asked the boy he pinned on his bed, "What the hell, Luhan? What the heck is wrong with you?" It took quite a while for Luhan to recover, but when he did, he said, "Me? Nothing's wrong with me. It's you, Xiumin. What's wrong with you?" Luhan looked at Xiumin straight in the eye with a look of concern and determination. Xiumin just sighed.

Xiumin released Luhan from his grip as he stood up, leaving a still shocked Luhan surrounded by white comfy sheets. "Just one ice cone." Xiumin said as he made his way out of the room. Luhan smiled to himself, thinking that he did a good job, but then he suddenly frowned again. There was still a mystery left to be solved, and he had to solve it quick. He stood up and followed Xiumin to the park.

~

The two young men sat in a bench, three feet apart, their own ice creams, flavored coffee crumble, and strawberry.

The young man holding the pink delight looked at his side and eyed his companion. He made a bite to his ice cone, and when he had finally gathered enough guts, his mouth opened. "Xiumin," Luhan started, and Xiumin glanced at him while eating his own treat. "I'm worried." Xiumin stopped his ice cream when Luhan's face suddenly became serious and a bit sad. 

"You've been locking yourself in your own house ever since last week. When I call, you always sound like you're irritated by me. You never go with me to the mall anymore." Luhan continued as he looked in the space in front of him. "I kinda understand it, you know." Luhan let out a small laugh. "I'm irritating, really. I always bug you and ask you questions, I always ask you favors, and I'm too clingy."

Xiumin wanted to open his mouth. He wanted to speak, but he didn't know what to say. He was never good with words. He was never good in expressing his emotions through words and that kinda made him feel bad. Luhan's face portrayed a sad smile and all Xiumin wanted to do was to tell him how he really felt. But sadly, he couldn't.

"Xiumin, if you-" Luhan couldn't continue what he was saying, because he couldn't. But he had to, so after a few seconds, he continued. "If you can't handle me anymore, it's fine with me. Just- just tell me, okay? So that I know." Xiumin made his hundredth sigh for the day and looked at Luhan.

"It's not that I'm irritated or tired of you. You're my best friend, right? It's just that these past few days my head has been acting like a female dog." Xiumin closed his eyes tightly and opened them again only to see a Luhan trying to suppress a laugh.

"What?" Xiumin asked but Luhan just gestured him to continue.

Again, Xiumin sighed. "It's not headaches, if that's what you think. I'm not sick but I do feel a bit gloomy. What I'm trying to say is that I have a lot of things in my mind right now and I'm having trouble trying to sort them out. You already know that Sehun and I have been dating for the past four months. But lately I haven't been feeling the same way towards him anymore."

"What do you mean?"Luhan asked as he stared at his best friend.

"I mean, I think I don't love him anymore like I used to. Actually, I don't think I've ever been in love with him. I might sound like a very bad person after I say this, but I think I just used Sehun to mask my real feelings." Xiumin said, taking another from his ice cone.

"I don't understand, Xiumin. If you didn't love Sehun, why did you date him? Why'd you accept his heart?" Luhan asked. "Sehun told me he loved me. I was uncertain of my feelings about him at that time but I decided to give it a go. I didn't really love him." Xiumin said. Luhan stared at Xiumin and tried to remember everything Xiumin and Sehun had done together. It was a hard thing to do, specially since he tried his best to forget them. Luhan remembered the time when Xiumin and Sehun kissed while the three of them were watching a romance film. He remembered the way Xiumin's lips kissed Sehun's and not his. He remembered the way he hurt every time Xiumin and Sehun would hold each other's hands.

Yeah. Luhan loved Xiumin, and Xiumin was oblivious to it. Luhan couldn't fully understand Xiumin. What he only understood was that Xiumin didn't love Sehun. And Luhan hated himself for being happy.

"So what are you going to do now?" Luhan asked.

"I'm not really sure." Was all Xiumin could reply as he ate the last piece of his ice cone. Luhan took a look at his own ice cone and noticed that it was already all over his hand.

"Eeeh?!" Luhan exclaimed as he put on a very cute face.

While Luhan was busy wiping his sticky hands, Xiumin was also busy staring at Luhan's features. Cute, feminine, and pretty. Luhan would hate it if Xiumin told him that he was cute, because Luhan always argued that he looked manly. Xiumin laughed at the thought.

"Ya, are you laughing at me? It's because of you I got this sticky ice cream all over my hand! And it's because if you I didn't get to enjoy my ice cone." Luhan said with a pout.

Xiumin stood up from the bench and grabbed Luhan by the wrist. He led the younger boy to the restrooms and told him to get cleaned. When Luhan had finished washing his sticky hands, he got out of the restroom and saw Xiumin waiting with his back against a wall.

~

"You said that you used Sehun to mask your real feelings. That's the only part I don't understand, you know. What feelings did you have to mask?" Luhan asked while walking alongside Xiumin.

Ten minutes had already passed ever since Luhan asked the question but Xiumin still wasn't spilling anything. He would talk, but he would talk about a matter that was very far from Luhan's question. Life, weather, and a couple of things Luhan didn't really listen to. Luhan sighed.

"Fine. If you don't want to talk about it, I won't ask. But I have to go home now, I still have more important things to do." Xiumin was shocked by the way Luhan had talked. Usually, it was Xiumin who decides when they should go home. Thanks to the way Luhan talked, Xiumin suddenly grew worried. He was worried the same way Luhan had worried a while ago. He was worried that Luhan got tired of him. Xiumin grabbed Luhan's wrist.

"Fine. I'll talk." Xiumin said. Luhan looked at Xiumin and said, "Okay then."

One minute, two minutes had passed and Xiumin was still speechless. He was still gripping Luhan's wrist like he never wanted to let go.

"I don't really understand myself, either. I just tried saying what I wanted to say and it came out. You know me, Luhan. I'm not good with words. The reason I'm isolating myself is because I want to figure out what is really going on inside my mind. But after a while ago, when I told you that I didn't really love Sehun, I felt kinda free. So I thought that maybe if I have you by my side, I might be able to understand myself."

"So you're telling me that. . . Wait, I don't really get it." Luhan said with a confused look.

"What I mean to say is that while I still don't fully understand how I feel, please stay with me and please help me figure out what I truly feel. I know it's selfish, and I know you have a life too. But just this once, please. I want to get rid of this confusion." Xiumin said and continued with, "I'm in love with someone else and it's not Sehun. I'm scared to confirm it yet because I might hurt him just like the way I might hurt Sehun if I tell him the truth."

Luhan's face fell with the words. Yeah, Xiumin didn't love Sehun, but he loved someone else and Luhan was sure that it wasn't him.

"Who?" Luhan asked.

Xiumin's hands fell to his sides as he looked at Luhan in the eye.

"You." Xiumin said.

Luhan had never felt so happy in his life.

~

A/N: I started the story with Xiumin and Luhan already loving each other. WAAA. >.<. I know it's not usual but yeah, I have to start it that way because of my future plans for this story. I hope you guys liked it! Did I put too much of 'Kim Minseok'? Haha, sorry. What do you think? Comment below!