A Kiss… what is a kiss? I mean according to Merriam-Webster it means “to touch with the lips especially as a mark of affection or greeting.”  However in the mind of a teenaged girl it means so much more; it means to tell someone that you love them, to physically show how much a person means to you or it can be an action that leads to .  You know teenagers…

               Now sit down for a moment and close your eyes and imagine your first kiss.  Most will picture some sort of romantic movie like scene or some people will imagine an awkward encounter with a boy shoving his tongue in your mouth.  It’s different for everyone and everyone hypes up the moment they have their first kiss. And I’ve always pondered as to why they do this?  Is this a result of watching too many chick flicks and Korean dramas? Is a kiss really that big of a deal for everyone?

               See for me a kiss is just a kiss… until I had my first kiss.  And my first kiss… it went a little like this:

               He was my best friend, one that I knew since middle school.  I was 13 during that time and he was 12 and his name was Jimin; we were both dancers and we shared many differences but somehow that brought us closer together.  And although he was younger than me he rarely called me “Noona” because that’s how our friendship worked

               I’m going to admit Jimin was very attractive, slightly chubby during his younger days but as he grew up and the girls loved him.  I mean I didn’t really hang out with him that much in middle school, it was during our high school days where we grew closer.

                After school I’d go to his house or to my house and cook and watch movies, help each other with homework and edit each other’s essays.  He’d talk about the girl he was dating during that current moment and that’s how our friendship worked.  We shared almost all our life events with each other and knew what we liked and disliked. 

                It wasn’t until my final year of high school where things changed.  Jimin was dating a girl at the end of his grade 10 semester and she was headed off to another country during the summer.  Of course they had a dramatic semi-breakup (it’s complicated to explain) so they parted ways and spent their summers separately.  

                And almost every day of that summer we spent time with each other and we grew closer and closer, both emotionally and…. Physically.  The skinship level was unreal, we held hands as if we were a couple, we caressed each other freely, he’d pat my like a boyfriend would.  And let me tell you I enjoyed every moment of it… but I started to question myself.

                Maybe… just maybe… I was starting to like him.

                Maybe I was just going crazy, maybe I just felt this way because of the physical contact we had.  I had no idea, I mean I haven’t had as much experience as Jimin did, I only had one boyfriend my entire life where as he had dated 4 girls in his past.

                Maybe my hormones started to control me? Maybe the summer heat was getting to me? Maybe you just desire him because of the skinship?

                So. Many. Questions.

                I honestly didn’t know what to do and so it continued, the everyday skinship, the “acting-like-a-couple-but-we’re-actually-just-friends” act.  Man… maybe I really do desire him as more than a friend, maybe I’m not crazy and maybe I genuinely like him.

                His muscular built, his cute cheeky smile, his round … wow wow there.  I… I guess I really do like him.

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                Now the months have passed by, and I’m preparing to finally graduate hell school (A.K.A High school).  The only reason it’s become hell is because Jimin transferred schools and I’m not the most friendly character so I didn’t really make any “friends.”  I really missed Jimin, I missed eating lunch with him and talking about other girls as to whether or not they’re worthy to date him and him talking about how another boy in his class had a crush on me.  I just miss him.

                It’s even hard to see him, because to visit him it takes me an hour to bus.  That coming Friday Jimin and I made plans and so it was an hour bus to the other city to see him.

                I had weird jitters and suddenly cared about what to wear to his house.  Man… seriously I never really cared about my looks until the whole “I think I like my best friend” situation happened. 

                Anyways lets skip to Friday.  I took the bus after school and he picked me up from the bus stop and drove to his house. 

                I was happy and excited because we agreed to download and watch my favourite movie “Easy A.”

                We set up his bedroom to be nice and cozy, and this is when things got interesting.

                He casually started to caress my thighs, to which I let him because it kind of felt nice.  And then thigh caressing led to me feeling somehow drawn to lean my head upon his shoulder.  And then that lead to us cuddling like crazy all throughout the movie, me resting my head on his thighs, him petting my hair, getting held close to him with his arms around my waist.  Honestly I’ve never felt so nervous in my life and I really wanted to go check if I was blushing and if my face turned red as a rose but I just didn’t want to move.

                “God Jimin you’re quite touchy today.” I said as the movie slowly came to an end.

                “Hey, you know I can’t really concentrate when an attractive lady is near by.” He responded and I blushed.  “Wow a-are you blushing?”

                I turned away quickly and buried my face into one of his pillows. “You’re ing crazy Jimin.”

                I heard him laugh as I /secretively/ admired the scent of him through his pillow.  He grabbed the pillow and removed it from my grasp and to my surprise pinned me down to his bed.  “You cant deny it, your face is red right now.”

                .  I immediately took my fist and punched his arm. “Let me go.” I said trying to wiggle out of his tight grip.  Of course me being older he almost always listened to me so he let me go.

                “Gosh… I’ve never seen you like this before Noona.”  Again I blushed because he usually called me by my name, but today he was calling me Noona.  I sighed and pushed him off his head and sprawled myself on his head. 

                “So what’s been up with you Jimin?” I asked as I lied comfortably on his bed.

                “umm… nothing really just choreographing a piece for my school’s upcoming show and just enjoying high school as much as I can. How about you?”

                I laughed and shook my head, “Just surviving Jimin, grade 12 is tough.  Teachers mark so hard and university acceptances are being sent out in random times.  I mean I got into my dream uni so I’m not worried.”

                “Ahh that’s good.  How about boys? Anything new, or is just the same as in you’re still single.”

                I laughed and nodded my head “Single, you know I don’t like high school relationships.”

                “Man, I don’t get it you’re such a great girl; you’re smart, you’re pretty and you’re good with children.  How do you not have a boyfriend? Like I wouldn’t just want to date you, I’d probably want to marry you.”

                And again I blushed and curled into a comfortable position on his bed.  He crawled beside me and smiled, “You’re my best friend you know that, I just want you to be happy.”

                I wanted to respond saying “I want to make you happy.” But I knew that’d be foolish so I just stayed silent. 

                I closed my eyes trying to take a nap, but my heart was racing and I knew that the air in the atmosphere changed slightly.  There was something different at that moment and I felt it.

                I gave in and sighed, opening my eyes and I blushed… his face was right in front of mine. 

                . Okay girl. Calm down. It’s okay maybe he just wanted to watch me fall asleep? Or … or not… maybe he’s doing this just to make me feel uncomfortable.

                I shuffled further away from him but he smiled and brought me close.  “Alison, if you haven’t had a boyfriend since your last one - which I’d like to point out – was in grade nine.  Does that mean you haven’t had your first kiss?”

                I nodded shyly in response and whispered “I’m just waiting for the perfect moment and my ex-boyfriend didn’t really create that moment or feeling that was appropriate for a kiss.”

                His face slowly came closer to mine and he smiled, “What would you do if I kissed you right now?” he asked.

                My face went red and I knew it, my face was burning and I just went silent.  It took me a few moments to build up some confidence.  I took a deep breath said “Do it and see if I care.”

                I mean that was kind of a test because I thought he was joking around at that time… but clearly he wasn’t.

                Before I knew it his soft lips were on mine and at that moment everything paused for what felt like forever.  My face went red again and I pulled away. “Jimin I-“

               I couldn’t even finish my sentence because he pulled me in for another kiss, expect this time this kiss was different.  I melted into his embrace and he rolled me on top of him. 

                We kissed for a while before I pulled away.  I cleared my throat and looked at him smiling, “Well… I didn’t expect that to happen today.” I said.

               Jimin laughed and nodded “Mean neither…”  Another short moment of silence and before I knew it Jimin spoke up.  “So… do you want another Kiss Noona?” he asked.

                I laughed and hit him softly, but of course before I could say something he pulled me in for another kiss.

                I guess we’re not just best friends anymore and I guess I really do like him… as more than a friend.   Now to me a kiss is an action of how to express how you feel for someone, just as Jimin did to me.