From: Lee Hyukjae

To: Lee Donghae (FISHYFISHYNEMOLUVACHUUU~ sorry was a bit excited)

Date: 4/25/2014 9:01 PM

Childhood is like a bittersweet flash in one's life filled with sweet laughter and salty tears. It is the time when school was abhored and summer was cherished. It is the time when innocence drove each kid forward until reality begins to plummet those who see it into depression. Childhood was when it was great to love and be loved by someone whether it was for a cookie or for the butterflies that overwhelmed you. The mere 18years of childhood will follow you your entire life and it's your job to make it worth remembering. It's just a flash, appearing one second and gone another.

Mine is still not over but it's ending faster than it started. My time can't be measured by the suns and moons for they come and go all too soon. A month seems like a day whereas a year seems like a week. It was two years ago when I met the person who began making my time fly by. He began to make me stop anticipating each moon and sun to rush out of a boring classroom and into the summer of heat and nothingness but to appreciate the shining stars that fill the darkness of the sky instead.

I guess I didn't seem like a lonely person with friends in elementary school and 2 years throughout middle school. 

Never judge a book by its cover.

Sure I had friends in elementary but I didn't have a sense of right and wrong and was a bully until I regretted all that I had done.

Sure I had friends in middle school but I had a constant fear of judgement that followed me from my elementary years.

Sure I'm dating Choi Siwon at the moment and is the happiest fish in the sea but a boyfriend doesn't stay forever, a best friend does.

I have a friend. A best friend, who knows about my past and knows who I am. He knows about my ethnicity of an asian and instead of making eggroll jokes he loves the asianess himself (he kind of has to since he's also asian). With him I'm able to speak my mind freely without worrying about being judged. With him, I'm not always the listener. With him I can be the gayest fish in the sea without having to worry about saying 'no homo' too much to be taken seriously. Yes, this person, is Lee Donghae.

Dongsaeng you're making me tear up as I type this. I hope you're pouring salt water too you stupid fish lover. 

By the way, yes you're coming over soon either that or I'm going over to your house.

I'm envious of you, your house, your room, your food!

I'm envious of your talents. Oh, so many talents!

Who knew that such a talented and handsome person would befriend me. I always thought you were the goodlooking one out of us since you're the one with the past filled of boyfriends. I also thought that a person so great at art and literature would never find me interesting although we had the same hobbies I just did worse in them and always compared myself to you. Nevertheless, we are friends, no more, no less.

Ever since I met you, Lee Donghae I've opened up more. Instead of always listening to other people's problems and being cast away after they've been solved I was able to be heard for once. Loneliness wasn't a fear for me ever again because I knew my star will always be there, shining and glimmering brightly, throwing aegyo in my face and boasting about your newly obtained Pocky. 

Not only that but my star has opened up my dark sky to let in hundreds of other stars that shown in the night sky, glistening with fabulous bodies and humming sweet melodies of kpop. In that sky I found a warmth that I never knew would exist in a night sky of darkness that came from social anxiety and the ups and downs of life. I keep adding stars into my sky, and each and every one makes the darkness brighter. But there is only one star that shines for me even when times are hard and whether it's day or night, and that star is Lee Donghae.

My star... 

my soul.

Love,

Your best and only hyung (and it better stay that way)

P.S stars don't disappear okay so you're stuck with me forever okay? Understood? 
I love you! <3 (that better be understood)