Kim Minseok led a simple life. He had always preferred to do things in a certain way, preventing risk and preferring the safety that his created routines gave him. 

Every morning after waking up, he took a quick shower, scrubbing his porcelain skin clean before dressing up in a suit. He made a cup of black coffee and a sandwich, his favourite breakfast. Padding to the door, he bent down to pick up that day’s newspaper and read it whilst enjoying his coffee. 

Although simple, Kim Minseok’s life wasn’t boring. He had graduated at the top of his class and caught a job with the leading insurance company in Korea. His days consisted of meeting customers from 9AM to 3PM and finishing with paperwork until the clock ran to 6PM, when he could finally leave the office. 

He was good at dealing with the customers; hefty bonuses at the end of each month were enough proof of that. The company wouldn’t let him leave, especially as the man in question would easily be taken in by their rival companies. When Minseok learned that his place was secured until his retirement, he bought a nice apartment further away from the city centre. 

The apartment was a bit far from his workplace but Minseok enjoyed the closeness of the mountains and the parks around it. He’d decorated it in muted tones, nothing really sticking out if you looked around. One could say it was boring and looked too much of a one in décor catalogue but Minseok liked it. The big windows at its sides allowed the morning light to stream in and that was all that he needed. 

The downside of buying an apartment so far was that Minseok was left with a big apartment loan and no money to buy a car. Commuting to work took close to an hour if he was lucky and the only alternative was to take the bus. Thankfully, he could take one all the way to his office and save the hassle of changing in the rush hour.
__ 

“Kim Minseok-ssi?” a female voice asked, knocking on Minseok’s office door and opening it slightly. “Your 9 am customer cancelled but Song-ssi sent you these to look through” she said as she made her way to the desk and handed the papers to Minseok with a friendly smile. “The company is planning to jump into sponsoring the national soccer team. Song–ssi wants you to be in charge of it. The papers should include all the information needed for preparation. He wants to meet you sometime next week; I’ll let you know about the time later.” 

Minseok nodded at her explanation, taking the papers with a sigh. “We’re sponsoring the Reds?” he asked, glancing at the secretary before looking into the file. “And Song-ssi wants me to take charge on the planning? How I’m supposed to get them to agree with us?” he asked, giving the woman a look of disbelief. 

“Well, you are our best salesman and Song-ssi believes you have some good ideas on how to approach them. And… youare the biggest fan of the Reds in this office” she winked, nodding towards the small figurines at the end of Minseok’s table making the man laugh. 

“I’ll try my best” he grinned, putting the papers aside. “Let me know about the meeting with Song-ssi and make sure that there’s enough coffee in the rest area. I’ll be working late from now on.” 

“I’ll do that, Minseok-ssi. Is there anything else you need from me now?” she asked politely, bowing when Minseok dismissed her with a shake of the head. 

The new project shifted Minseok’s work hours till late. He still left home at 7:30AM and took the bus he always did but instead of returning home on the 6:20PM bus, his extended hours meant that he took the last bus of the night, at 11.36PM. The change wasn’t pleasant - it broke his carefully crafted routine - but the project was interesting and too important for Minseok to care too much about the change.

The main difference between the night bus and the one he took before was that he was almost always alone when it came and completely alone when the bus reached his stop. Realising this on the first night he took the bus got Minseok scared. The big bus that was completely empty but for him and the driver who sung along to songs playing on the radio frightened him. Said driver greeted him with way too much enthusiasm and happiness for someone driving a graveyard shift at midnight. “Welcome!” he said, smiling to Minseok from behind the driving wheel. 

Minseok stilled, stunned by the sudden friendliness but mustered a quiet, careful nod before scuffing to his seat near by the middle doors. Sitting by the window, he took out his phone and caught up with recent happenings on the news and with his friends before settling on watching his favorite online cartoon. Time passed quickly and Minseok was nearly asleep by the time the bus reached his stop and he heard the bright voice of the driver calling him. “Last stop! You need to get out now, customer.” 

Minseok jolted at the sudden words, scooting back on the seat in reflex. “W-what?” he gasped, pressing a hand on his thudding heart when his eyes came to contact with the driver’s, and that was when he realized that they were much closer than he was comfortable with. 

The bus driver stood up, smiling to Minseok. “Oh you’re awake. I called earlier when you were the only one left but I think you were sleeping. Anyways, this is the last stop” he smiled. “Please exit the bus so that I can drive home” he chuckled, walking to the back of the bus to clean up trash people had dropped. 

“Eh? Ah…sorry.” Minseok said timidly, bowing slightly little before leaving the bus. He cast a last glance at the driver before walking away with a shrug. That would definitely take some time to get used to. Hopefully he’s not the one driving tomorrow Minseok thought, shaking his head at the disturbing thought as he let himself in to his apartment, hoping to soothe his stomach with some quick instant noodles and just flop down on his bed for the night.

But of course, Minseok’s life wasn’t as monotonous and simple as he wished it to be and he noticed this when the same bubbly bus driver was seated behind the wheel the next night as well. With a sigh he mustered up a smile and greeting before walking to the middle again, taking the same seat as he had taken previously.

“Mister?” The driver’s voice came into Minseok’s mind, waking him up from the slumber he had fallen into. “Hey mister? Want to come closer so that I don’t have to yell? Do you always take the last bus? I saw you for the first time yesterday, you’re so pretty that I can’t help but remember you!” 

Minseok groaned, pressing his back against the chair. “I’m tired” he said, hoping to get the other to stop his incessant babbling. 

“I’ve been driving this shift for few months now and before there was no one for the last fifteen minutes of the ride” the driver explained, glancing at Minseok from his rearview mirror. “Come on, what’s your name? I’m Luhan” he said, still looking at Minseok expectantly from the mirror. Minseok didn’t respond. 

“Okay…it’s okay, you don’t have to tell” Luhan said, looking forward again as he pressed the accelerator. “But tell me, will you be taking this route from now on, because I’d really want to chat with you if you were. So next time, you can sit in the front? It’d be better.” 

Minseok bit on his lip, determined to stay quiet. The man scared him, a sudden loud voice amongst silence and the empty bus in the middle of the night brought back uncomfortable memories of books and movies he’d read in his childhood with similar plots. A young woman or a man, alone in a bus that was kidnapped by the driver and he’d end up dead with his organs sold. Shuddering, Minseok pressed the stop button, a few stops before his actual stop but he just couldn’t stay in there any longer. “Good evening!” the driver, Luhan, Minseok’s brain supplied, yelled as he left without a word. 

Breaking a routine and making a new one was already difficult for Minseok but he had no other choice, the job and succeeding in the new project he had was the main goal of his life now. But now he had to get this lunatic as his bus driver? Minseok made a note on his phone to remind himself to send a complaint to the bus company tomorrow. On his short walk home, he stopped at an ATM to check the balance of his account and made a mental note to take a taxi home tomorrow evening. He would not be seeing the creepy driver anymore, at least for as long as he could avoid it. 
__

A couple of days later, Minseok woke up rather late, rushing out of the door without even eating breakfast. He hadn’t gotten much sleep lately with uneasiness tainting his mind. Luhan had showed up in his dreams that promptly turned to nightmares. He was being kidnapped, the crazy driver taking the bus to the outskirts of Seoul and laughing like a lunatic as he got out of the driver’s seat and stalked towards him. Minseok in the dream had no place to run when the driver approached him. The dream had repeated itself every time Minseok fell asleep, resulting him slumbering over the alarm until it was too late. 

Minseok grimaced as he paid for the taxi in front of his office. It was more expensive than he thought but he’d be able to do it again tonight. And maybe, maybe he’d be able to get out earlier as it was Friday and he could work from home. If he was lucky, Luhan wouldn’t be driving the bus when he got off work, and Minseok was sure that he’d never seen Luhan driving any of the earlier running buses before. 

For some reason though, Minseok couldn’t concentrate on work at all. He’d noticed it after he’d typed same word wrong several times. He read over the small amount he had gotten down but it was filled with spelling and grammar errors. The insurance agent sighed, rubbing his temples for a minute before pushing his chair back to stand up. With determined look, he walked to his boss’s office, knocking on the door to beg for an early leave. 

“Song –ssi?” Minseok said cautiously, bowing low as he stepped inside the room. “I’ve been feeling sick for whole day, that’s why I was late this morning too. I think it’d be better if I go to doctor and can rest home. I cannot concentrate on the work at all and I know there are customers I’m supposed to meet later but I’m afraid I’ll make mistakes” he said, looking at his boss. “I’ll take the papers home and work during weekend, so that I can present the plans to you on Monday?” 

Mr. Song nodded a little, humming in agreement. “You do look pale, Minseok–ssi. Go to the doctor and take the rest of the day off. I’ll be expecting a perfect presentation on Monday but make sure you get enough rest, ok? You are a very important agent here.” 

Minseok nodded, bowing quickly again. “I’ll bring the presentation and the doctor’s note to you on Monday. Thank you very much Song–ssi. I’m really sorry about this.” 

“Don’t be. Get better fast, Minseok -ssi” Song smiled to him. “I’ll get Miyoung-ssi to arrange your customers to see someone else and clear up Monday morning for you as well.” 

“Ah, that’s not necessary! I’ll be able to meet—“ 

“Don’t worry about it. The sponsoring deal is really important to Sanha insurance group and I expect you to focus on it with your fullest.” 

“I understand, Song–ssi. Thank you for this opportunity. I’ll work hard to make it successful.” Minseok said, looking at the older man nervously. 

“I’ll trust you, Minseok–ssi.” Song smiled. “Now, go on and get better.” 

“I will! Thank you and have a good day and weekend Song-ssi” Minseok smiled, bowing again before leaving the office. 

Minseok gathered his belongings, cleaning up the table so that every paper was in its designated pile and all pens in their holder. He cleaned the keyboard with a wipe and locked the drawers, casting a final glance over the clean table before taking his suitcase and leaving the office. 

Minseok was highly uncomfortable with hospitals and clinics. The mere smell that seemed to draft through the corridors made him sick but he knew he had to do something. Choosing to go for traditional science, he stepped into the clinic and looked around. He greeted the lady at the desk, cleanly writing his information on the new patient card they gave him. At least here, the smell wasn’t that bad and Minseok knew he wasn’t really down with the flu. The problem was more about the anxiousness that meeting a certain bus driver brought. The obnoxious way in which the driver seemed have to installed himself into Minseok’s life along with the sudden changes in his lifestyle brought up the anxiousness that Minseok knew could be treated with traditional treatments and acupuncture. 

After a short meeting, Minseok moved to the hall lined up with several beds separated by pale blue privacy curtains. He followed the nurse to the end of the room and got ready to lie down on the bed, undressing for the treatment. 

Soon enough the doctor came over and started to apply the needles over his body. He tried to lay still when the doctor pressed a few on his ears, explaining those would be the ones truly helping for the anxiety while the rest over his body would serve as relaxants for his muscles and helping indigestion. 

Minseok hummed, closing his eyes when the doctor finished. He took slow breaths, almost falling asleep during the treatment if not for his ears picking up the sound of a familiar voice down the hall. His muscles tightened immediately to the sound, making the needles hurt a lot. Minseok gasped in pain, taking short breaths as he tried to relax again. 

“Is everything alright here?” the nurse asked, peeking around the curtains that had been drawn around Minseok’s bed.

Minseok shook his head as he gasped again. “Can you… it hurts so much” he said, wincing as he moved his hand a little.

The nurse nodded, quickly pulling the needles out. “I’ll let the doctor in charge know that we have stopped the treatment. Dress and I’ll come to get you soon. The doctor will discuss what we should do next in a moment” she said quietly, making sure all the needles were out before closing the curtain to let Minseok dress alone.

Minseok’s body was still shaking a little bit as he dressed and he took a moment to calm himself. Why did Luhan have to be there, right at that moment when Minseok was relaxing his mind? The agent shook his head, clearing up his thoughts as he moved to get off the bed. Smiling awkwardly to the nurse, he followed her back to the doctor’s room and sat down. 

“What happened?” the doctor asked, looking at Minseok. “Was it a needle that pressed too deeply?” 

Minseok shook his head, looking down at his hands on his lap. “Not exactly,” he said, his lips before continuing. “The reason for my anxiety was here. I... Like I said before, I think it is because of the event and the person. I heard him here and…and my body just…” he couldn’t continue as he felt his muscles tightening up again just at the thought. 

“I understand” the doctor said, typing something on the computer. “Do you think it’d be possible to have the treatment later when the person has left? It would be important to start the treatments right away as it seems that your subconscious mind and your body both react to this strongly. I will prescribe you some relaxants that will help you to fall asleep as well as bringing the anxiety level down. There are some remedies that you can take when you feel like the anxiety is coming up.”

“We will schedule your appointment for next Monday. Until then you will take the medicine and try to rest and eat well. If you think it is impossible to continue the acupuncture treatment today, we will do that on Monday.” 

Minseok nodded, biting down on his lip before looking at the doctor. “I think Monday is better. If I try now, my body will react badly.” 

“Alright, we’ll do that on Monday” the doctor confirmed, typing it onto the computer records. “I’ll give you several types of medicine. One you take three times a day, mixed with warm water. One you can use like a tea in the evening, around half an hour before you go to sleep. It’ll help you to fall asleep and keep the nightmares away. The pills are herbal based for stress and anxiety. You can take these several times a day, three to four at once but it is advised not to take more than 15 pills in a day.” 

Minseok nodded, accepting the recipe and the other papers when the doctor handed them over. “You will get the medicine from the front desk when you pay. If you have any questions, you can call us. We are open on Saturday from 10AM to 4PM.” 

“Alright, thank you. If nothing comes to my mind, we’ll see each other on Monday” Minseok said, standing up and bowing before leaving the room. 
__

Minseok opened his front door, deep in thoughts. He had an anxiety disorder, he knew and accepted it but it had never been this strong. The way he felt secure with his daily routine, the way everything was in order, clean and crisp. Nothing was out of place, even his work was routinely done and although customers changed, the insurance base that he was selling for was the same. He knew all this but this man, how could a mere bus driver affect him so much?

Minseok looked at the medicine bag, taking one out to taste it right away. Wrapping fingers around the warm ceramic mug filled with the concoction of water and the tablet, Minseok sat on the couch, still lost in his thoughts. Luhan wasn’t that special, sure he was loud and repeatedly pushed into Minseok’s safety bubble. It was something no one had done since university when Jongdae had bugged him long enough to actually result in Minseok having an attack right there in the middle of their campus. It goes without saying that Jongdae was as freaked out as Minseok was and did everything to make it better after he recovered from the initial shock. Ever since that, the man had looked after the insurance agent and made sure everything went as smoothly in his life as possible.

But Luhan wasn’t like that. It seemed like the man didn’t have any sense of privacy with the way he chatted around so happily. Minseok made a face at the taste when he sipped the medicine but forced it down his throat, knowing it would help. Jongdae had tried to get him into therapy before, saying it was for his own good and that it would help him with his rather stressful job as well. Minseok had denied it and refused to go, saying he could live easily with the routines and traditions he kept had and that there was no need for him to get medical attention.

Jongdae had tried to convince him a few more times after that, especially he heard about the panic attack Minseok had at a bar when his coworkers had dragged him out and the times at his office when a particularly problematic customer had pestered him about the insurance details and coverings when the fault was fully with the customer himself. But Minseok had never accepted the offers for therapy, regardless of how bad the attacks got.

Kim Minseok believed that the daily routines and the steady life style he lead was enough to keep the nightmares and panic attacks from coming. And he was right, up until now. It was the change in his role at work that was the problem - the greater responsibility was always good but it tricked up his stress levels so badly that he had no control over the attacks anymore - and it only frightened him more. 

Minseok let himself relax against the soft couch. It had really been long since the last attack had happened and it worried him how one person, someone who he didn’t know beyond a name could affect him so badly. “Luhan…” Minseok sighed, closing his eyes as he thought about the driver. He knew that he could afford to take a taxi every day, but even if his complaint about the driver went through, the company had no reason to fire him because he drove well. A lot better than the morning driver, Minseok mused as he thought about the commute. 
Would it be possible to find a balance if he told the driver about his situation or would it just make things awkward? Would Luhan even care? Minseok bit down on his lip as he thought possible outcomes before reaching for his phone and calling a number he knew off by heart (even if it was already on his speed-dial)

“Hey you, not busy selling insurances?” Jongdae joked as he answered the phone. 

Minseok stayed quiet a bit too long for Jongdae’s liking though, talking at very second Jongdae was going to question him further. “I’m home. Another attack” he said, taking another sip from the medicine. 
“What? Do you want me to come over? I’ll be there in hour?” 

“Come after your work. I went to get some medicine. I think I’ll just take a long shower. Just bring some food along and let yourself in” Minseok said, looking out of the window apprehensively. “Can....” 

Jongdae nodded alone, understanding what Minseok’s tone signaled. “Yeah, I’ll stay over the night” he said softly. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll get off at four. I have a few hours to take off anyway so might as well use them today. I’ll even bring chicken!” 

Minseok chuckled at that, feeling a bit better just by hearing his best friend’s voice. “Yeah yeah, bring it. Just bring lots. You have clothes here so just come straight over.” 

“I’ll be there. See you later and call me if anything happens. I’m here for you, Seokie.”

“I know but I’m fine, really” Minseok said, silently hoping that he sounded convincing. “I better take that shower now. The medicine is making me drowsy, I don’t wanna fall asleep waiting for you.” 

“Ah, ok. I’ll finish work and be there before five” Jongdae promised before ending the call. 

Minseok put the phone away, finishing the drink in silence. Luhan was the first big obstacle in his life in a while and although the man scared him and made him anxious, Minseok couldn’t deny the fact that the driver was handsome, very much so and that made Minseok loathe himself even more. 

By all means, it wasn’t the first time that Minseok felt like he was held back from living his life the fullest by the syndrome. He thought it before when his last boyfriend had left him when Minseok had gotten several attacks, no matter how hard he’d tried to control them around him. The man was very patient with him and they were together for well over a year before he had left Minseok on the bed, half dressed and shivering in fear in the midst of an attack, a time when Minseok had needed him most. 

Minseok bit down on his lip as he thought back to that relationship. His boyfriend had never pushed him, always carefully guiding and asking him towards the next step. He himself had been determined that he could overcome his problem as he truly trusted and loved the man but the anxiety had taken over so quickly. In a panic, Minseok had pushed and hit his boyfriend before curling up and crying in a small ball. To this day, Minseok doesn’t really remember what his boyfriend had said at the time (or if he’d said anything at all) but only remembers the day after, when the man had come over to apologise and tell Minseok the very words he didn’t want to hear – “I can’t do this. It’s better to break up.”

That was the point at which Minseok’s life had turned drastically. He was left alone and heartbroken, struggling with university which he knew he had to get through to graduate in order to find a job in the future. Jongdae had pulled him through it all, marking his place as the only one in Minseok’s life that would stay with him when things got tough. Jongdae had done for him more than he could even remember. The man had found ways to calm Minseok when he could sense an attack was coming and Minseok had even gone through a course of mental training with Jongdae when he’d become determined to get better. 

Taking a deep breath, Minseok got up from the couch to put the empty mug away before walking to the bathroom to take a shower. He stripped off his clothes as he stepped in the room and looked at himself in the mirror as he waited for the water to get warm enough so that he could step under the spray. His eyes took in the pale skin, fair from blemishes and moles, the thin lines of muscles on his arms and the way his ribs seems to push through the skin when he in breath. Minseok had never found himself handsome, always thinking of himself as the awkward teen that’d entered adulthood but was still stuck with shorter than average height. He knew he wasn’t ugly, heck, he’d probably get confessions if he went out, if he could go out. Shaking his head clear from such thoughts, Minseok moved under the warm water and let it wash the worries away. 
__

Jongdae came in with a bright smile and big box of chicken. Minseok greeted him from the kitchen, feeling surprisingly hungry. It was strange how sometimes you never know how much you need food until it enticed you with its smell.

“You okay? Want to tell me what happened?” Jongdae asked as he took the chicken and spread the box open on the table. “Is the project giving you hard time? Remember the exercises you did before to calm down, maybe those will help again” he said, looking over his friend. 

Minseok was quiet again for a while before whispering the words “that… and Luhan”, looking at the other man briefly before turning away to get some drinks. 

“Luhan? Who’s that?” Jongdae quizzed, a frown on his face.

“The bus driver I told you about” Minseok sighed. “The crazy one. He was at the hospital today…” he said, settling down on a chair and taking a piece of chicken. “I freaked out when I heard his voice and the needles… You know how it is.” 

Jongdae hummed, looking at his best friend over the table. “Is your body still hurting? They gave you some medicine, right? Did they make a plan for you to have your treatments there or can you go somewhere else in case this Luhan is there again? I know you, Minseok. You need to tell them about that. If it happens again, you might really hurt yourself.” 

“I’m fine, Jongdae” Minseok said, holding out a piece of chicken to his friend. “Thanks for coming over. I’m feeling better already” he said, and he truly meant it. The medicine and the shower had worked and Minseok finally felt relaxed in his own apartment. 

Jongdae sighed, eyeing the other before accepting the treat. “That’s not all that happened. I can understand why the change of work, especially with a project as huge as this can make you anxious and have the attacks but he’s just a driver.” 

“The project keeps me busy and stressed, Jongdae. I can’t fail in it. The problem with him… I also don’t know.” Minseok sighed, picking at his food. “I mean, he is loud and he scared the hell out of me when he screamed next to my ear. I’m the only one in the bus until the last stop and that alone freaks me out.” Minseok was looking down at his hands now, twiddling his thumbs nervously. 

“Ever since I heard that Song wants me to lead the project, I haven’t been sleeping well and now that I’m working overtime, everyday till midnight to catch the last bus, I’m missing even more sleep. He-he just surprised me the first time but I had fallen asleep, you know how jumpy I am when I’m woken up suddenly” Minseok said, glancing at Jongdae who nodded before continuing. “But he kept talking to me the day after and again. I thought he’d forget over the weekend but no, again on Monday. I already know and I try to prepare myself for it but he catches me off guard every time and I don’t’ like it.” 

“And the practices haven’t helped? Sounds similar to before when you liked the guy at the mart, remember? You had to change lines and go there at different times so you could avoid him.” 

“You’re saying I’m attracted to him? Ha ha, Jongdae. Very funny” Minseok spat. “I have no time for that and he’s not even my type and he freaks me out completely. That bus is scary! Loan me some money that I can take a taxi home until the project is finished, I can’t deal with him.” 

Jongdae had the audacity to laugh at him. “I think... here’s what I think. Next time you go home from work late, you call me and I come with you. I need to see this guy and why he freaks you out.” 

“He’s not going to talk if you’re there” Minseok said, rolling his eyes. “He said before he only talks when we’re alone and that creeps me out a little. I mean, why would he only want to talk to me?” 

Jongdae shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe he really is just bored and doesn’t want anything else than few words. Maybe you could try, you know talking to him rather than avoiding. He’s trying so hard too. Keep it light, talk about the weather or sports. That way you wouldn’t be scared sitting alone at the back too” Jongdae suggested with a tilt of his head. 

“How can I just talk, Jongdae? Did you forget my little anxiety problem here?” 

“Minseok, I know you have hard time talking to strangers but you know his name, you know he drives the bus 74 in evenings and he seems like a nice guy. You said he looks young too, so why not just try? I’ll be there with you next time.” Jongdae promised. “Either way, if you actually like him and I approve, then what’s the problem? I’ll be here to catch you, Seok. You should know that already, besides it’s been years, six or seven since he left you bare. I’m worried about you” he said softly, taking Minseok’s hand into his own and looking at his best friend closely . “I don’t want you to be lonely anymore. It’s hurting me too and if the bus really just has two of you on it, the social situation shouldn’t put too much pressure on you, right? We’ll go through the practice again and I’ll be there with you. If needed, we’ll just explain to him that you want to be alone and quiet.” 

“I did! He keeps talking even if I ignore him. I mean, what kind of person does that? He’s driving me crazy, Jongdae. All I think now is why Luhan is there, why Luhan does that, what kind of person Luhan is, would Luhan be able to stand me unlike Minhyuk, could he ever accept…” Minseok trailed off, nearly whispering as he looked down at his hands that were intertwined with his friend’s fingers. “I’m afraid, Jongdae. And it’s not just the panic attacks. You’re right about that.” 

“You find him attractive” Jongdae stated, looking at him. He wanted to make fun of his best friend, wanted to tell him that everything would be fine and how he’d like to see him finally in love again but he couldn’t. Not when Minseok looked so fragile and afraid, so alone, right there in front of him in the clean, brightly lit kitchen. 

“How long did you get off work?” he asked instead, loosening his hand from Minseok’s to grab another chicken leg. 

“Just over the weekend but I need to work. The boss wants the draft of the revised plan on Monday as we’re meeting the officers on Tuesday to go over it. I can’t fail, Jongdae” Minseok sighed. “My life hangs on this deal.” 
“Dramatic” Jongdae said, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You’ll survive even if they don’t accept and you know that. You, Kim Minseok are way too valuable for Sanha group, they’ll never let you go so that you are free for their competitors to grab. This is a huge deal we’re talking about but it’s not the end of the world, you still have big customers” he paused and let the smile creep fully on his lips this time as he cheekily added, “next time you could try to sell insurance to the city bus group, in case a certain bus driver ends up in a bizarre accident.” 

“Jongdae! Ya!” Minseok gasped, staring at his friend with wide eyes. “You wouldn’t…” 

“I totally would and you know it” Jongdae winked at him before stuffing chicken wing into Minseok’s mouth. “Eat, I don’t want you to lose any more weight like you did before. You were so ugly then, even I wouldn’t ha-“ 
“Take that” Minseok laughed, shutting the other off by throwing radish to his face. “You will not interfere and make accidents happen Jongdae, no way. Even if I hate the guy… but you’re right, maybe I should try to get the crew to buy our insurances but only after I secure the deal with the national team” Minseok proposed. 

“That’s more like it!” Jongdae smiled, picking the dropped radish from the floor and popped it in his mouth while flashing a grin at the other’s disgusted look. “What? I know you swipe the floors daily, it’s clean!” 
“Why am I even friends with you?” Minseok muttered but smiled into his chicken. Just having the other over made him forget the current problem and feel like no panic attacks had ever even happened. 

Jongdae laughed loudly. “I love you too. But really, I need to come with you next time. I need see to this guy that’s caught your mind even if you refuse to admit it.” 

“I did admit it, Jongdae” Minseok said, glancing up quickly before looking away embarrassed. “Earlier when I thought about it, I admitted that he is cute... and kinda good looking, okay?” 

“I knew it. Take me, Seokie. Let me see this hot bus driver of yours” Jongdae pleaded, hardly managing to keep his laughter at bay. 

“Shut up. I’ll take a taxi and forget that guy. I don’t need anyone to leave me on my bed, needy and walk away from my life because I can’t control my mental problems” Minseok snapped.

“Whoa, hey don’t think that far yet. You don’t know how he is” Jongdae said. “I’m quite sure he’s not driving a bus because it’s his ideal job. Especially if he is as young as you said he looks like. Who knows if he’s actually studying to become a therapist or something and just drives the bus at night to get earn money? There’s no reason to think how he is in bed, yet” he grinned, nudging Minseok’s leg under the table. “I learned something new about you, my dearest friend. Fantasising about bus drivers…” 

“ you” Minseok said but laughed, kicking Jongdae hard under the table, flushing a pretty pink in the cheeks as he slowly understood how Jongdae had twisted his words. “I wasn’t thinking that! I-I was just reminded of Minhyuk and how it hurt to be left there.” 

“Don’t remind me of that” Jongdae sighed. “I’ll make sure Luhan will never do that and you too, promise me that you’ll break up with him if he even shows a little bit of that attitude.” 

“Break up?” Minseok said flustered, staring at his best friend with large eyes again. “Now who’s the one thinking forward too much? I can’t even talk to him and honestly, I’m not sure if I even want to take the step.” 

“Think about it over the weekend” Jongdae said as he got up to clean the table. “It hasn’t been long since you admitted to me that you’re feeling lonely. It’s scary, I understand it’s not easy to step up to a complete stranger and ask them out but if it works out, it might be the solution to your problems. I remember how happy you were with Minhyuk and you’d still be happy if he wasn’t a sissy who couldn’t handle a small problem” Jongdae huffed. “Give him a chance, give yourself a chance, Seok” he said, smiling softly at his friend. “Take the medicine, work with the relief programs you have and do your project but don’t hide in yourself anymore. It’s better to ask now than to let yourself fall in love with him just to find out he’s not gay or he’s taken or not interested the least.” 

Minseok exhaled, nodding at the words. He knew Jongdae was right, he wouldn’t lose that much if he just found the courage to talk to the man or ask him about it. It was irritating how well his best friend knew him, nothing could be hidden from Jongdae’s prying mind. “I know you’re right but it isn’t easy. He scares me, Jongdae. The whole situation gets me anxious and my mind starts feeding me nightmares of murders and in an empty bus. Don’t you know I want to get better too? This is tiring!” he exclaimed, spreading arms wide in exasperation. “I don’t want to live like this anymore but you know what, I can’t just suddenly change. Yes, I want to date and fall in love but while you can easily do it, it feels like climbing a mountain to me, and I’m scared, so scared of slipping down that slope” he heaved a sigh, finishing his words with nervousness, the tears swimming in his eyes obscuring his vision and blurring out his best friend’s frame.

“Minseok...” Jongdae said, stepping forward to embrace the other. “You’ll find a way. I’m sure about it and someday, you’ll find that someone who can help you to get over the mental disorder. You’re doing so well but there’s a limit what a man can take. There is always the professional help in the end if you need it. I told you before, I’ll help you to pay the fees if you ever want to meet them. I’m here with you at every step you take.” The two were silent for a while, both standing with their arms wrapped tightly around each other, Jongdae swaying them both on the spot in an effort to console the man in his arms. 

“Thank you, Jongdae” Minseok finally whispered, burying his face into Jongdae’s neck, holding on tightly. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Minseokah” Jongdae smiled, petting the agent’s hair slowly until he felt Minseok relax against him. “Coffee before I leave?” he asked as he pulled away from the hug. “We’ll talk about that work of yours and oh my god, can you meet the players?? Can you meet Lee Hyunshik?!” 

Minseok laughed, pushing him hard. “Maybe? I don’t know but if I do, Lee Hyungshik is the last player I’ll ask for a signature from” Minseok said, barely containing his grin as he walked away from Jongdae into the kitchen. “Just so that you know…”

“Kim Minseok. Ya, ya don’t ignore me now! You better ask him or I’ll cancel the trip I booked for you at the hot spa.” Jongdae stalked up behind him as Minseok reached up for coffee, grabbing the jar out of his hands.

“As if you ever booked.” Minseok giggled, shoving Jongdae playfully as he grabbed the jar back and set out the mugs. “Anyways, I think I won’t meet them as we’re working with management level. If I have the chance, I’ll ask him, ok?” 

“Caught me.” Jongdae smirked. “Thanks. If you do get me a signature, I’ll pay your taxi fees for a week if you still need it! Promise!”