By the time Chanyeol gets home, Kris is - as usual - no where to be found.

Kris is Chanyeol’s best friend, and also one of the best doctors in town. They stay together to cut down on the rent - when you don’t have many zeros on your monthly paycheck, life gets harsh. They’ve been living like this for more or less than three years - if Chanyeol remembers it right - not too long, but not too short, the time’s just enough for them to get used to each other’s presence (and sometimes, disappearance too).

Actually, Kris isn’t just a best friend - he is Chanyeol’s only friend. First time Chanyeol mentioned it, Kris couldn’t believe his ear. “Did you just say I’m your only friend?” He even pretended to pick his ear. “Well yeah, it’s true.” Chanyeol just answered naturally, like it’s a fact known by this whole universe. “No way. No. Way. How could someone like you not have friends?” “Don’t know. Kris, I’m tired.” …

Kris never asked why Chanyeol was alone. And he feels thankful for that. He doesn’t like reminiscing the past. There’s nothing he can do to change it, there’s nothing needs memorizing. He has wished for hundreds and thousands times, for the past to fade away in his head, but to no avail. Yesterday is like a demon with red horns on its head, point tail on its back and trident in hand, ready to drown him in its oil cauldron of hurt and fear.

Chanyeol hangs his guitar on the wall, then falls right onto the bed. For a moment, he just lies there, unmoving. He tries to recall everything that happened in the park. While he was playing guitar, someone had drawn him, and later said someone even gave him the sketch. Maybe they didn’t know that he can’t see? But why did they run away… Did they not know what to say? Were they shy? Or was they… afraid of his smile?

*

All children loved the park. They always played all kinds of game there: the girls jumped rope, the boys played football, and sometimes they gathered together to play hide and seek. It’s their own kingdom - where only they and their imagination were allowed to get in.

Little six-year-old Chanyeol hated the park.

The first time he went there, the park was like heaven on Earth. He would play with all the kids in town, and at the end of the day they would always insist that he come back tomorrow.

On his second visit, the park wasn’t special anymore. He didn’t know why, but when he gave his friends his usual big toothy smile, they all screamed and ran away. No one told him to come back. No one said goodbye.

The third - and also the last time Chanyeol ever went there, the park was Hell. All the kids screamed at his face, telling him to “Go away” and “Keep off”. When he tried to get near and asked why, they would pushed him to the ground, or worse, they would throw dirt and sand at him, sometimes even small rocks.

“You weirdo, we hate you!”

“No one wants to play with a loser like you!”

“Get lost you monster!”

…

Monster. So that’s what they saw when he smiled.

*

“I’m homeeeee,” Kris’ low but loud voice breaks through all the bricks and cements and finally reaches Chanyeol’s ears, freeing him from his miserable thoughts. There are noises downstairs that sounds suspiciously like someone trying to hit the table with a meat cleaver, and then Kris’ voice booms again, “ this thing is slicky… Hey, wanna eat ham tonight?” Before Chanyeol could even voice out his answer, Kris has finished chopping the ham into all kinds of shapes and moves on to make another dish.

Chanyeol slowly curls himself up on the bed. He’s glad he has Kris as his best friend, but it doesn’t mean he wants Kris to know when he’s upset. Kris has been tired enough with all the works at the hospital, and he still has to cook when he gets home, because Chanyeol is not allowed to stay in a radius of 5 meters to the kitchen. He doesn’t say it out loud, but he always feels guilty knowing Kris has to do everything for him. Sometimes, Chanyeol would give Kris a small smile, one with his mouth tightly closed, lips firmly pressed together, to express his gratitude. At times like those, Kris would playfully hit his shoulder then rambled on and on with “you little , don’t look at me like that” “that smile of yours, does it even count as a smile?” “stop that, you’re making me scared~”. Other times, Chanyeol would offer to help Kris here and there - “Hey, I remember you said you wanted to get it on with that girl at your place right?” “Well… Yeah. So?” “I composed this love song for you! You can sing it to her, I bet she’ll fall for you right away!” …

“Dinner’s ready!” His best-and-only friend is calling out for him again, this time with a slightly higher pitch.

“Coming!” Chanyeol carefully walks down the stairs, leaving his sorrow behind the closed bedroom door.

* * *

(TBC)