Yixing’s POV.

“Hey Xing babe let’s go, I’m starving I’ll prepare you something to eat, what do you think?” Jongin shouted at me from the door of the dance room, he was right both of us were the last on the room, because of our mutual love to dance we always use to spend a couple more hours dancing after the others have left.

“I’m coming, Just a couple songs more baby” I replied looking at him with pleading eyes. I couldn’t stop even if I try my best my dance is not enough I was never satisfied with the results.

 “I said it’s enough I’m starving and you are coming with me even if I have to take you against your will” Jongin carried me over his shoulder as a bag of potatoes, making me laugh at his playful way to make me forget about my perfectionism.

He literally carried me out of the practice room and released me at the hall he was strong but not too much and we both walked through the hall to his dorm laughing and smiling at each other, even after a year of a perfect relationship with him he always found the way to make me fall in love with him every day. Every time I see his smile I feel even surer that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

When we arrived his roommate Sehun was sitting on his bed with a book on his hands.

“Hey Sehun I’m making ramen you want some?” Jongin asked him approaching the kitchenette to prepare said dish.

“Ramen again? Hi Xing hyung” Sehun complained closing his book to join him not before saluting me.

“If you don’t want that means more for us?” Jongin said while boiling the water.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want, it’s just that it’s so boring you should learn to cook something else” The younger of the three suggested. “Are you with me hyung?” he asked my opinion.

“neh” I answered just to tease Jongin.

“Yah don’t turn my boyfriend against me you brat” Jongin scolded Sehun.

We kept talking, making fun of each other and eating ramen until it was time to go back to my own dorm.

“I guess is time to leave, Kyungsoo must be worried about me, thank you for the ramen” I said goodbye.

“Goodnight hyung” Sehun waved goodbye.

“Goddnight and say hi to kyungsoo hyung” Jongin kissed off.

When I arrived to our dorm Kyungsoo was already sleeping so I think he wasn’t that worried after all.

The past three weeks have been really tiring I was chosen to represent our school in a cultural contest where lots of schools will show the best of their artist students in different categories, I was chosen to represent the Seoul Arts College in the dance category.

That’s why I spent most of my time alone on the practice room even after Jongin left I stay for a few more hours until I my body begs me to stop. For the same reason Jongin hasn’t stopped me from overworking myself because he understands I need to practice as much as I can in order to win the competition.

Today was just another day after classes I was heading to the practice room when I found Jongin on the way going to the opposite way.

“Jongin ah, where are you going?” I asked him smiling, lately it was rare the time we spent together and I appreciated every second I could see him.

“I’m skipping dance today I’m not feeling so good” the taller answered with a pout.

“What? Are you ok? Do you want me to take care of you?” I asked him worriedly.

“No don’t worry babe it’s just a headache, I just need an aspirin and a good nap and I’ll get better soon” he answered pinching my cheek.

“Are you sure at least let me take you to the nursery” I insisted I didn’t want to leave him alone he could get worst.

“I’m pretty sure don’t need to worry I just need some rest, and you need to practice you can’t skip the practice the competition is tomorrow, so stop worrying about me and focus on your routine okay?” he said smiling and patting my head.

“Neh, but if you need me please call me” I said one last time and he kissed my forehead before leaving me alone on the hall.

Jongin was right tomorrow was d-day and I needed to give the last touch to my routine even if that meant not to sleep today.

The dance class has already finished and as always I stayed after everyone else left the difference was that this time Jongin wasn’t here and I was completely alone, it was good because that way I wouldn’t be distracted by Jongin’s y body moving in front of me with the music, even though he couldn’t stop wondering if he was feeling better, but as Jongin said he needed to stop worrying and focus on his routine.

The hours kept passing and I was still practicing even after the sun was gone but I was already used to it, I stopped a second juts to drink some water and started feeling a burning pain on at the lower right side of my belly I massaged the place to calm the pain and it seemed to work so I gave no more importance to it and kept dancing.

I was wrong at the middle of the song the pain returned but this time it was increasing and the pain made me kneel on the floor, I tried to massage it just like the last time but it wasn’t leaving instead it kept increasing making me whine and cry, now I was curling on a fetal position on the ground, I tried so hard to breath and relax myself never stop massaging that spot on my belly until the pain started fading away slowly the pain remained there but now I was able to stand up and leave, that was clearly a way of my body to tell me to stop which I did, after all I don’t want to be tired tomorrow I was going to need all my energy.

While walking to my room I kept rubbing my belly, the pain was hard but not as before, nothing a painkiller and a good sleep won’t fix or that’s what I thought.

Standing in front of the door of the room I share with Kyungsoo, I heard strange noises coming from inside, it was already 11p.m I never thought Kyungsoo will be awake at this hour, but I didn’t give it so much importance usually I come back after midnight maybe he was just watching on his laptop.

I hope it was like that because when I opened the door and the light the first thing I saw was Kyungsoo being ed by someone, this was something new I have never thought Kyungsoo was ually active and even if I didn’t want to disturb them I really wanted to sleep and I doubt I could be able to sleep with all those awkward noises.

“Yah Kyungsoo I’m sorry guy but if you could…” I tried to stop them and ask them to continue in a different place but I was cut when both of them turned to looked at me and my hart broke and my brain froze.

“J Jongin” just that whispered came out of my mouth fighting against the tears treating to show out. I couldn’t believe it I must be having a nightmare or a hallucination caused from the tiredness.

“Yixing!” both man said shocked looking at me with terrified faces.

It was real it wasn’t an hallucination this was actually happening and the tears started sliding from my cheeks but I forced my body to move and run out of that place as fast as I could, I didn’t think where to go I just ran away but the feelings and pain where following me.

My boyfriend the boyfriend I gave my whole heart, soul and even my body has cheated me with my best friend, I felt so humiliated and betrayed my body was hurting so much with every step I gave but the pain in my heart was even worst, I headed to the only place I felt safe; the music room, luckily it was open, I let myself fall to the ground once I closed and locked the door behind me and let myself cry all the out. I stood up and approached the beautiful piano in the middle of the room I wanted to play something that made me feel better but nothing came out my muse has left me too so I just stared at it and cried once more. How could this be possible? How couldn’t he see that coming? No wonder why Jongin skipped the dance class today, headache my .

I kept crying and blaming the world for hours until the tiredness possessed me and fell asleep on the floor of the room.

When I woke up the next morning I was laying on the floor of the music room it was fine until I tried to stand up I winced in pain, all my body was hurting so much beginning with a terrible headache because of crying so much, a backache for sleeping the whole night on the floor, the same pain on the lower right part of my belly and of course my heart, I didn’t want to think about it right now. It cost me so much but I managed to sit still on the floor, my body was sore and tired and my eyes where so swollen and the wave of emotion was starting to return but right before I became a crying mess again I remembered something. Today was d-day, the dance contest and I noticed I couldn’t sink in my pity I have to keep focused on the contest, on the routine I worked so hard for.

Later I would kill my ex- boyfriend and my ex- best friend right now my presentation is more important.

I headed to the first bathroom I found just to terrify myself with my own reflection I looked worst that I felt but right now there was nothing I could do so I just washed my face and left I needed to take a shower but I couldn’t go back to my dorm I was afraid I could find those two there and I wasn’t ready for that but on the other hand I had no option so I just wait until it was time everybody was on classes so I assumed the dorm was empty and it was, so I rushed to take a shower and prepared myself for the contest, if someone saw me right now they would never guess how ed up I’m inside, the advantage of been a Libra was that I was pretty good at hiding my emotions even if I was dying from inside.

When I stepped out of my dorm every eye set on me I was right after all, I walked through the crowded halls showing a confidence I didn’t have to the auditorium of the school, and behind the stage where all the participants where stretching and fixing their outfit.

“Hey Yixing you are late, where were you?” Minseok my dance teacher called me when he saw me arrive.

“I’m sorry hyung I needed to look good today” I apologized.

“Yes I can see you did a good job, listen the contest hasn’t began yet so you have a lot of time before your turn came, you are the contestant number 13” he explained me but I didn’t paid too much attention, my mind was beginning to space away again and the pain on my belly was increasing but I didn’t care, I just tried something to distract me from my thoughts until my turn came.

“Hey Yixingie!” I heard my name being called by a really happy Jongdae, I was glad to see him he is a beagle who likes talking quiet a lot.

“Hey Jongdae are you ready?” I asked him with a smile even if it was costing me a lot to smile right now, Jongdae was chosen to represent our school on the singing category, and he really deserved it he has one of the best voices I have ever heard.

“Of course, I feel confident, what about you?”

“Yeah me too” I lied even if I felt confident of my routine, my body wasn’t at its 100%. “Is it me or is cold in here?” I asked shivering it was getting cold in that place.

“Yeah it’s a bit cool maybe it’s just the air con, oh is my turn, wish me good luck” Jongdae said before heading to the stage to perform.

“Good luck”

The time Jongdae was out the cold got worst it was hella cold backstage why did they put the air con so high?.

When Jongdae came back I clapped him because of his great performance but his smile faded away the moment he saw me.

“Yixing why are you shaking?” he asked concerned.

“It’s really cold in here man” I asked him really convinced it was just the air con.

“But you are sweating hyung” he said raising one hand to touch my forehead “Damn Yixing you are burning in fever” he said even more worried.

“That’s not possible I’m fine” I lied of course I’m not fine, I still had a terrible headache, the pain in my belly was stronger and my stomach was begging for food but there was no time right now to pity myself.

“Zhang Yixing it’s your turn” Minseok said and I thanked him for saving me from Jongdae’s scold.

I was glad this was going to end soon, I reunited the last of my energy to step on the stage there was a lot of people cheering and making noise on the crowd, that gave me a bit more energy to continue, but right when I stopped on my mark to begin dancing my belly started hurting so much I winched in pain but I managed to control it the best I could.

The music began and my dance with it I was controlling so good the pain even if it was killing me I just focused on the music and let my body move with it to the point I wasn’t even moving my body, it was moving by itself my head was feeling light it was already the half of the song and it was going better that I thought but everything ended when the pain reached a level I could stand anymore I stopped and winced in pain to hold the part that has hurting me so much but right when I looked at the crowd that was now murmuring and gasping I saw them Jongin and Kyungsoo sitting next to each other and the pain in my heart came back to attack me and I couldn’t handle it anymore the darkness quietly surrounded me. The last thing I heard where the crow gasping surprised, and the darkness embraced me.

When I woke up I couldn’t open my eyes at first, my eyelids were so heavy but the rest of my senses where starting to work again, and slowly I was starting to smell, to feel and to hear again. The first think I heard was a person talking, actually there was more than one person talking but I couldn’t see them.

“Why was he running through the campus, last night?” A voice that seemed familiar asked first.

“He was running because he saw Jongin and I … having ” the second person responded then everything came back to my memory the reason of the emptiness in my chest.

“What! Jongin ah we told you to broke up with Yixing before getting involved with Kyungsoo” The person that now I recognized as Joonmyun scolded him.

I couldn’t believe it he knew everything and he didn’t tell me anything.

“I was going to break with him after the dance contest” Jongin explained his voice sounded more like a child being scolded than someone feeling guilty.

I couldn’t keep hearing anything else I forced myself to open my eyes and mouth with the little amount of strength I had and the first thing I saw was four perplexed and shocked people standing near the door of what looked like an hospital room there was Joonmyun, Sehun, Kyungsoo and Jongin. Which mean Sehun and joonmyun already knew about them, that made me feel even worst I wanted to cry again when a fifth person entered the room.

“What? What did you said? How could you both do something like that, aren’t you aware of how Yixing could feel? I swear if it wasn’t because we are on a hospital I would be punching your face, because of you Yixing is in that bed!” Jongdae shouted at them before pointing at where I was lying when he noticed I had my eyes opened with a tear sliding from my cheek.

“Yixing!” Jongdae rushed to my side and hugged me it was nice to know at least I still had Jongdae by my side.

“Tell them to leave please” I whispered at his ear because it was the best I could talk at that moment followed by a sob.

“He want you to leave so please just go” Jongdae told them looking at the people who was now at the foot of the bed looking at us.

“But Yixing I…”

“Get out!” I did my best trying to shout at Jongin who was trying to say something but it hurt me so much, Jongdae held my shoulder placing me back on the bed.

“Get out just get out you already did too much damage here!” Jongdae shout them once more never leaving my side and the other four did as they were told, silently leaving the room.

“Are you ok Xing? Do you need something?” Jongdae asked with a sweet look in his eyes.

I just shook my head to answer both questions. “What happened? Why am I here?” I asked not understanding why I was on a hospital when I just faint on stage…

“The contest!” suddenly I remembered and tried to stand up but Jongdae stopped me.

“The contest it’s over Xing it was yesterday, you fainted in the middle of your presentation and we brought you here because you wasn’t waking up, when we arrived here the doctor said you were suffering and appendicitis and they had to extirpate it immediately, that’s why you can’t move because you had a surgery last night” Jongdae explained slowly for me to understand but it was so much information I can’t believe so many things happened in a lap of 48hrs.

“You said ‘we brought you here’, who else I should thank for it?” I asked the first question that came to my mind because I had a lot.

“Well there was me, Minseok your dance teacher and Jongin” He said making a pause before telling the last name, it sure was painful to hear his name and I couldn’t stop the new tears forming in my eyes just to remember the scene I saw.

“No no Xing don’t cry those brats are not worth it” jongdae said softly hugging me again.

“What am I going to do? Why did he do it with Kyungsoo and in my own room? I don’t want to step in that room again” I asked between sobs waiting and answer I knew Jongdae didn’t have.

“You don’t have to go back if you don’t want to, I’ll ask Luhan to change with you so you can be with me and Luhan with Kyungsoo ok?” Jongdae suggested and I nodded, I liked that idea.

At that moment a man dressed completely in white which I assumed was the doctor entered the room and cleared his throat when he saw the scene.

“I’m ashamed to disturb you Mr. Zhang, my name is Park Chanyeol and I’m your doctor, I just wanted to inform you and your ‘friend’ about your condition now that you are awake” the tall doctor with a strong voice introduced himself with a bright smile.

“You suffered an appendicitis and we had to extirpated yesterday because it was in a really bad condition, the appendicitis is caused for a lot of things but what we noticed was that you also had the beginning of  anemia caused for stress, over work and a really bad alimentation, so we are giving you medication for it, also the surgery was successful and I will ask you to take all your medication and to follow a better life style for now on and if everything goes right you can get out of here in a couple days, is there any doubt?” the doctor Park explained in simple terms.

“No doctor thank you so much” I said with a raspy voice and bowed at him.

“Oh and the raspy voice and the numbness of your body is because of the anesthesia don’t worry about that, if you need something just press that button” He said with a bright smile before leaving.

As the doctor Park said I was discharged from the hospital at Monday in the morning, my legs where still a bit numb and I just wanted to sleep but first I needed to move to Jongdae’s room who managed to convince Luhan to change places with me but even if I was relieved about that I didn’t want to be a coward I needed to confront this and stop running away so I walked towards my and Kyungsoo’s room to pick my things and he was there siting on his bed.

“Hey” he said when he saw me entering.

“Hey” I said back walking toward my place to pack my belongings.

I was packing between an awkward silence when Jongin arrived, I just looked at him sideways before continue packing trying to look relaxed and as if it wasn’t hurting me.

“Yixing… we need to talk please” Jongin said.

“You need to talk, I don’t but I hear you” I answered without looking at him.

“I’m sorry but I’ve liked Kyungsoo hyung since a long time ago but I liked you too that’s why I didn’t want to break with you I’m sorry but we couldn’t help our feelings for each other anymore, I was going to break with you after the competition because I didn’t want to ruin your day” Jongin said calmly. Rubbing the back of his head.

“Well thank you Jongin you are so considerate” I said not being able to believe what the other was saying. “Since when? Since when did you started cheating me?” I asked unsure if I truly wanted to know the answer.

“Like a month ago” I was right I wasn’t ready to hear that.

“Unbelievable how could I be so stupid you were both ing in my own room all this month while I was practicing, haven’t you?” I said this time looking at his eyes with my hurt once.

“Listen I didn’t meant to hurt you, we never thought you will found out, I’m sorry I guess this is over now” Jongin said wanting to escape from the killing look I was giving to him.

“No Jongin this is over from the moment you decided to play with me” I said with fury in my voice, picking up my things to leave.

“Yixing you don’t have to move if you don’t want to” Kyungsoo said stopping me.

“ The problem is that I do want to, but I truly wish both of you luck, and Kyungsoo I’ll give you a last advice, you were my best friend after all; When this boy tells you he has a headache be careful, he might be ing your roommate” I said one last time and left the new couple perplexed behind.

Things were worst the next days I had to confront seeing Jongin and Kyungsoo together every day the only friend I had was Jongdae, other student looked at me like freak for fainting on the competition and I couldn’t dance because of the surgery, I had to wait at least one moth to start doing exercise again.

 But the days kept going so was I, I grew used to all those bull, in moments like this I thanked my dad so much for teaching me to be strong. Even if he hated me after finding out  I was gay. I started to spend most of my time at the music room playing the piano because without the dance the music was the only way to escape from the world at least a few minutes.

More than a month has passed since the surgery and now I was allowed to dance again so I rushed to the practice room once classes ended like if my life depended on that.

When I arrived the rest of the dance class was already dancing and Minseok approached me with a scared face.

“I’m sorry I’m late Minseok hyung” I apologized but the older grabbed my arme and pulled me out of the room closing the door behind us, now I was scared too but I didn’t know why.

“Yixing what are you doing here?” he asked relaxing his face expression.

“To dance of course I couldn’t come before because of the surgery I had but now I’m fine” I explained him.

“So nobody has told you right?”

“Nobody has told me what?”

“You have been dropout from the dance club” He said with a serious but sad face.

“What? But why?” I asked indignant.

“Look it wasn’t my choice, the principal and the committee of the school forced me to do it, they said you gave a bad reputation to the school after your incident that day, authorities began to ask if the school was exploiting their students so after that, they decided the best was to expel you from this club. I’m so sorry” He explained ashamed.

I couldn’t say a word after that so I just ran away, that was it my life was screwed I lost my boyfriend, my friends, the competition, my reputation, my passion I even lost an organ in the lapse of just a couple days, that must be a record.

When I reached my new dorm a let myself lay on the bed worrying Jongdae once again.

After a whole day of hearing me cry and pity myself Jongdae got tired and brought me a bunch of flyers of different dance schools it made me come back to my mind it was enough of so much cry and humiliations I needed to recover my happiness even if I lost a lot of things I can replaced them except the appendix, but I was still alive and healthy even if the school doesn’t let me dance here anymore there is always a world outside where I can dance as much as I can.

After reading and calling all the numbers on the flyers any of them fulfilled my expectations, some of them where so far away from the campus, some others offered classes just in the morning and the rest was above my budget. But then I saw the last one, it was a simple flyer with a weird bunny and the name of the school ‘B.A.P dance studio’ it didn’t have a number where to call but it had the address, it was just a few blocks away from the campus.

This was my last hope so I decided to go and check that studio by myself it wasn’t far after all.