Months passed by and vacation time came. Victoria dreaded the summer to come for memories of Nickhun will surely flood her once more. Her friends will surely ask her about what happened to their relationship. She can’t blame them if they couldn’t help it to ask those stupid questions.

                Sure enough, the first time she went to the church with her friends, they asked her if she know what had happened now with her ex-boyfriend. If she and Khun were still communicating with each other and if she already met that girl Yuri.

            “Can’t we talk about something else?” she snapped back at one.

            “Wouldn’t you want to know about my life when I’m away from you? When I’m in the competition?..If I had won or lose? How do I balance my studies and dancing?  Can’t you be more tactful huh? Amber? Luna? Krystal? Are you really my friends? Why is it that you seem to enjoy all the unhappiness this news about Nickhun has been causing me?!” with that she stormed out the church. Her tears were racing anew on her cheeks. She tried so hard for several months to forget what had happened…to shut off the memories from her mind. She even tried to think it was not real, that nothing happened. But in her hometown, she couldn’t deny it happened.

            In a few weeks time, it would be her birthday, but she was not excited at all. She really doesn’t care. What good would it be to celebrate when there is no one to celebrate with? Her last birthday was spent with Khun. How can she forget the time when Khun stayed with her hours before her birthday and kissed her the moment the clock struck twelve?

--

            “Vic! Happy Birthday! We were sorry for the way we acted before. But you see, we were only concerned about you. We weren’t taunting you... We know how you feel. I know how you feel, I’ve been through it and I was not so strong as you do!” Luna’s voice was unsure at first, her voice was faltering but soon it grew louder and with surety.

            “It’s okay Luna. I was not mad at you or to anyone of you. I was just depressed, low, lonely, hurt… you know how things were with Khun and me, I was… I was just…” Victoria wasn’t able to continue what she was about to say as her tears flowed freely again.

            Luna locked her up in a tight embrace, comforting her. “It’s okay Vic, were here. We’ll never leave you. We’ll help you move on.”

            “She’s right Vic. Were bestfriends right? And bestfriends stick together through thick and thin” Krystal added.

            After several minutes, Amber spoke.

            “I don’t know if this is the right time to tell you Vic. Nickhun send me a letter a week ago, asking me about you. He did not forget you after all. He did not forget about your birthday and in fact has a letter and gift for you. There’s even a picture of him and his wife. Are you ready to accept this? Or will I just keep it for the meantime?

---

            Alone in her room, Vic the music box that Khun gave her as a present. Images of Nickhun flashed before her mind. She was still in love with him and the mention of the letter awakens the feeling she thought was already dead. Can she stand reading that letter and look at the picture in it? Yes! Of course she would read the letter. She would face the truth even if it meant getting hurt once more in the process.

Vic, I know you hate me so much now… I do not have the courage to face you again, but only for the memories we had shared, I’m asking for forgiveness. You see, Yuri knows about you. I never hid you from her. In fact, she is eager to meet you. I told her how wonderful and sweet you are. But under no condition she can see you or us to go home. Yuri is sick, very sick. She may not last for more than a year. She had a miscarriage when she was 2 months pregnant. The doctor told us that she can’t bear a child anymore. I’m asking you to please understand me… give me once again the patience and consideration that you always do. If you only knew how hard the situation that I am in now. Hope you’ll forgive me and I’m really sorry for what I’ve done, for hurting you and for causing so much pain in you. Always remember that I will not stop loving you. I missed you and I always care. Happy Birthday Vic!

Missing you,

Nickhun

P.S. I gave you a picture of me and Yuri. She’s a lot like you.

            Slowly, Victoria casted her eyes away from the letter as droplets of tears formed in her eyes. Could she bear looking at the picture? With her shaking hands, she took out the pictures from the envelope. Her heart gave a lurch when she saw the familiar face of Nickhun. He has not changed much. He seemed to have grown older. Perhaps because of the heavy burden he’s carrying. Khun was right, Yuri looked like her. The eyes, the straight her and the complexion. Only Yuri’s so thin. Painfully thin. And there is sadness in her eyes even though she’s smiling. Could it be because of her sickness? Why did Nickhun chose Yuri instead of her?

            “Why?” she asked herself sobbing.

            As if in the daze, Vic wandered in her room. Looked outside the window and watched the kids at their neighbourhood playing cheerfully and laughing.

            “When will I be cheerful like a kid again? Why is the world against me?”

            She tried to shut her mind and numb her senses. She slopped down in her bed and closed her eyes. She tried to erase the letter from his mind… the sweet picture of Yuri and Nickhun… there seemed to be a guilt feeling behind those smile. Could she, Victoria erase that certain sadness in their lives? Is she a powerful agent in making or breaking marriage? Could she afford to be the cause of their continued unhappiness? Of course she can forgive… but can she forget?

            She remained numb for a few minutes, mentally going over what happened in her life. She had happy memories with Nickhun that she couldn’t deny. But somehow, maybe their story had to end just as it was a beginning for Nickhun and Yuri. Shouldn’t she be happy, now that she was still young? She can still open her heart once more to possible relationship.

            She rolled over to her right side, facing her table. She opened the drawer, threw the letters and the pictures to end the memories of Nickhun. Surely someday, Vic will go over that letter and the rest of Nickhun’s remembrance again… when she has the courage… when her heart does not crave for him anymore.

FIN.