Is this the way out? Taemin wondered, looking out of his room window, gazing at the buildings outside, watching colors bleed slowly over the sky, marking the birth of dawn. His chest hurt with the knowledge that even if he walks away from here, he will never be free from Minho again. He felt defenseless against Minho after he shared himself with him last night.

Behind him, the door opened. Turning back, he saw Minho standing in the doorway of his room. “Are you alright?” Taemin heard Minho ask. Where should I start? Taemin wondered feeling the irony of the question and had a sudden urge to laugh and cry at the same time.

“I…” Taemin tried to talk but he couldn’t. He began to tremble all over and tears started pouring profusely. He drew both his hands over his cheeks to push away the tears but couldn’t stop the flood of tears that flowed. Why did everything have to happen so fast? Why did he have to love Minho? Why did Minho have to confess after this many years? Why did he have to finally know how it feels to be embraced by a loved one? There were so many why’s without a good answer.

Minho felt more like the monster he found out he was with each passing minute as he saw a devastated Taemin sobbing. It was because of him that Taemin was hurt. If only he didn’t do what he did earlier? But it was too late for regrets. Minho crossed over and touched Taemin carefully, hoping their last encounter didn’t frighten Taemin. Thankfully, Taemin didn’t shy away from his touch.

Minho brought Taemin closer to him, drawing him to the curve of his body and kissed his brow.

“I am sorry for hurting you Taemin. There is no excuse for what I did.” Minho murmured softly, knowing apology alone was never enough. Minho doubted Taemin would ever forgive him.

“I promise to never hurt you that way again.” Minho swore, unable to stand the unhappiness in Taemin’s eyes. He allowed a fresh flash of pain and regrets to wash over his body.

“You didn’t hurt me.” Taemin said in barely more than a whisper. It cost him a great deal to say it out but he couldn’t go on letting Minho misunderstand the real reason for his pain, even if he had to expose too much of his true feelings on the line.

“I didn’t want to be with you but once I was, I didn’t want to leave you either.” Taemin knew he was losing to himself finally, feeling his remaining strength drain out of him.

Minho’s thoughts shattered, absorbing Taemin’s words, leaving him momentarily speechless. Taemin saw vivid shock fill Minho’s eyes.

“Then why the tears, Taeminnie?” He asked after a long moment, gripping his control with desperation against the emotions hammering within him. He let go of Taemin in fear that he would not able to stop touching him.

“Because I am breaking my own rules, Minho hyung.” Taemin felt calmness descend over him once he decided to stop fighting. “After all this years, it just took me one day of being with you in order for me to push aside all rationality and to forget things that I am not supposed to.”

Minho approached him once again but Taemin blocked him. “I need to finish this first, hyung. Please.” He said firmly.

“I started loving you 6 years ago, hyung. We have always been close but it was not enough. I began to want more. But that was not right. How could it be when I am a guy? I can’t give you a family hyung, no matter how hard I wish and it is unfair to you and your family.” He will finish what he started and leave, no matter how heartbreaking it was. Things are only going to get even more complicated after this. His heart is strong enough to handle this. Maybe he could even start his life anew.

“So, you are saying that you distanced yourself from me all this years, jeopardizing our close relationship because you feel you can’t give me a family? Is that it?” Minho was unable to believe what he was hearing. Taemin put the both of them in agony for years because of this?

“You had no right to do this, Taemin! To assume and to decide what I need. You just put the both of us in misery for something based on your own assumption. That ends here. ” Minho continued furiously.

“I am sorry, hyung. I’ll leave.” His eyes filled up once again. He hated himself for being weak. It was never his intention to hurt Minho hyung. To hear Minho say it that way, Taemin started questioning his actions. He did assume. He made his judgment based on what he thought was the best without consulting Minho.

“I am not asking you to leave, Taemin! I am asking you to ask me what I want. There is a world of difference between leaving and asking.” Minho burst, his eyes dark with passion and impatience.

“Hyung, I..” Taemin began but was interrupted by Minho, “Just ask me what I want, Taemin. Now.”

Taemin bit his lips and clenched his fists with despair and nervousness. Minho hyung deserved somebody better.

Minho sighed and he couldn’t hold on to his temper after looking at a lost Taemin. Minho pulled Taemin into an embrace, continuing to hug even when Taemin was just standing still.

“You haven’t lost your stubbornness, that’s for sure.” Minho commented inhaling Taemin’s sweet smell. He could feel Taemin’s unsteady heart beat.

“I will tell you what I want even if you are not going to ask. I want you to be my family Taemin, just you. We could always adopt children later, when we are ready. I also want you to ask me straight when you have something in your mind. I love you and I know that you do also love me. So why are you stopping us? Give us a chance Taemin.” Monho pleaded. Minho’s gentle words broke Taemin’s last thread of rationality. How could he not love this man? He wanted to reach out, for better or worse.

“I am sorry hyung, for everything. I just thought that you deserved better.” Taemin relaxed himself and hugged Minho back. He was going to be selfish for once and let himself to be together with Minho. He will do everything he can to make this work.

“Don’t put me on a pedestal, Taeminnie. I am just a regular guy with tendency to do mistakes. I don’t need a princess, I only need you.” Minho corrected Taemin.

“I want to be with you too, Minho hyung. I am sorry I made us wait so long.” Taemin laid his head on Minho’s chest.

“Minho hyung, can i….” Taemin trailed off.

“Can you what?” Minho urged Taemin gently to complete his sentence.

“Can I sleep for a while? I am so tired because of so many things that went on today.” Taemin finished with peace and lethargy claiming his body.

Minho watched the already half asleep Taemin with amusement. He didn’t answer but he carried Taemin to his bed and laid him down. Minho placed himself next to Taemin, and sighed with contentment. They had a long way to go, but this was a start.

Thank you to all my devoted readers! ^_^