Isn’t it ironic?

Every time I see this boy from another section, I just froze and became invisible.

I would see him running on the track through my classroom window wearing his school uniform.  Like an idiot, I would sneakily send him flying kisses and heart sign whenever I thought my classmates and teacher couldn’t see me.

I thought he saw me once. I was craning my neck out of the window when he passed by my classroom.  I was so sure our eyes met and my heart stopped beating for a minute.  My face turned tomato red and hot like the sun.  I felt so giddy that I almost peed on my underwear.

At the cafeteria, I would sit where I can view him on 270-degree angle.  I always make sure I’d get whatever he has on his tray and eat the food the same way he eats them.

I always envy the circle of friends surrounding him.  The most popular boys and girls in school hang with him.  There is this one girl who is always beside him though.  Whenever I see her, my day just get ruined.  She’s so clingy and always trying to get his attention.  I want to cut those hands of her sticking like a leech on his strong arms.

My favorite part of the day is going home on the school bus.

We live on the same neighborhood.  And the farthest from school.  We are always the last to get off.

I always sit a few seats behind him.  The boring bus ride becomes magical for me because I can stare at him all I want.  All the other kids had got off.  It was just the driver…  ME… And HIM.  We have the world to ourselves.

I wished the bus ride home was longer.  How I wished the tyre would burst.  How I wished there was traffic jam on the next intersection.  Anything just to lengthen the time I could be with him.

But, there is no traffic jam.  The driver always makes sure the tyres are in good condition.

To make the matter worse, this girl sticking like glue to him, started coming home with him.  They would sit next to each other.  Talking animatedly.  Smiling to each other like lovesick idiots.

And my alone time with him ended tearfully…

I would get off the bus on my street wondering what those two were up to.  I mean shouldn’t this girl go to her own house after school and do her homework?  Why would she bother other people?  How could she just decide to barge in his house?  We’ve been neighbors since we were kids, but I have never set a foot inside his house.  That’s just unfair!

I ended up staying in our small garden pretending to water the long unattended flower plants.  I didn’t bother changing my school uniform. I just dropped my bag on the wooden porch and grabbed the water hose.  My Mom will be shocked to see me doing house chores without being told. 

Our garden is already in full bloom, but that girl is still inside his house.  The sun had set and I still can’t see a shadow of her.

I have no more reason to stay outside.  Like a defeated soldier, I grabbed my bag and entered our house. 

My Mom was busy preparing dinner. She didn’t notice me coming in. 

I dragged my heavy feet upstairs to my bedroom.  My older brother’s door was slightly open.  A dim light was streaming through the small gap on the doorway.  I poked my head inside his room but, he was too busy writing songs.  He’s a really a talented composer by the way.  And I’m his favorite singer.  We were like peas in a pod.  We are always mistaken as twins.

I didn’t bother him and went straight to my room.

I dumped my school bag in a corner and collapsed on my soft bed still thinking about my neighbor and his visitor.  How long will she stay there?  Doesn’t she know it’s inappropriate for a girl to be in someone else’ house for a really long time?

I heard my Mom’s footsteps on the stairways.  Soon she was knocking on my brother’s door.

“Chan-hyuk, dinner is ready.  You’re Dad is home already.”

“I’ll be downstairs in a bit.  Thanks, Mom!”

I heard Mom’s footsteps to my room.  I waited for her to knock.

1, 2, 3…

Nothing.  I just heard her footsteps towards the stairways.  That’s odd.

To my delight, my door opened.  It was my older brother.  I should have been angry because he keeps forgetting to knock before entering my room.

He looked around the room before staring at me in the eyes.

“Hi, Oppa!”  I said happily.

There was no response from him as if he didn’t hear me.

“Oppa!”  I said louder.  I waved my hand to him.

“Good night, Soo-hyun…”  He said almost like a whisper in the wind and closed the door.

“Oppa!  I’m here.  Where are you going?  Is this one of your lame jokes?”

He didn't come back.  His footsteps disappeared.  There was an eerie silence outside my room.  

The cold wind coming from my window blew and I shivered.  I once again disappeared into nothingness...