I came there again.

 

There were plenty of people, as usual, I am not surprised. I had to do it, even though I had other important things to do; I have my summer jobs. Jobs.

Classes are over, and I am not free; I do not blame anyone. I didn't want to. Now that classes are over, I have less things to worry about. 

 

"Shinyeong!"

 

I pushed the door of the hospital room open with my back, carrying the goods she likes. I hated the smell of the hospital. The walls screamed hate towards my eyes. But nevertheless, I still smiled at the sight of my younger sister. 

"I'm glad you're back earlier than usual! What? How's the event?" Haneul, who called me earlier, flooded me with questions with all curiousity and brightness. I know she knows how it always is in 'those' events. 

"What do you think? It's flooded with signs and love-filled messages everytime. Still.. flooded." I answered, quite confused on my choice of words, careful not to imply any annoying remarks. "Yeah, you're right, Shinyeong. So? What did they say this time? Does Jin-oppa still remembers me?"

 

Jin? Who's Jin? Ah. Bangtan.

 

"Uh, uh, yeah, he, he does." I lied. So this 'Jin' is Haneul's favorite in the newly debuted idol group BTS. Although I don't really know much about them, Haneul constantly tells me about it. Though I don't even give any interest in actually remembering them. 

"Really? Oh my! This is amazing! So can I see the notes he left for me?"

"Yeah, here."

 

This is my daily routine. Visit Haneul first thing in the morning, then bid goodbye. Attend school and come back in Room 407 once again at noon. After class, I go to my part time job. I've gotten used to this practice ever since Haneul got sick, and my father didn't want to attend to us anymore. But I don't hate him. He doesn't even deserve any emotion from me. I've gotten over him and his activites. 

 

"Your sister has leukemia."

"What?" I asked the doctor once more.

"Leukemia, from your mother."

 

I knew one of us would have inherited that disease. That very conversation haunted me almost every night, when I start shutting my eyes close. Everytime I shut my eyes. I wake up either hyperventilating, or having sweat at the sides of my cheek, or maybe those were just tears. I wasn't sure anymore. It pains me too see Haneul in such a young age and in that condition, and I'm not quite happy that I was the one who got saved. We never spoke about this with each other. Haneul and I. We almost had a happier life when father decided to leave us, leave us with debts and loitering loansharks, not until Haneul cut her skin and bled excessively. I almost decided to stop attending school and work instead, but a good neighbor of ours reminded me of wisdom. I needed to finish college and have jobs with better pay. That's what has been motivating me ever since the day I never wanted to hear about. I've concluded that what I do now is for Haneul only. Even if I hated what she likes, I would still do it. Just for her. If that's the least thing I could do, I will, as long as I can. She's my only source of happiness ever since mother left our world. I treasured her more than I knew; she knows that. I tell her everytime I found the second to do so, and it is always in the setting of the four-walled room she is currently in. I hated myself, for not being able to be enough for her. I can't suffice all the things she wants, for she wants something I cannot give. Time. I told her that the doctor found progress in her health, but the pessimist she is says she doesn't stand a chance. What caused such negativity was about mother. Mother's leukemia worsened and gave birth to another cancer: blastic leukemia. Treatments weren't able to save her life. Pain engulfed my already dark world, giving much suffering to us both. Haneul and I.

 

"Yeong! Shinyeong!"

 

Haneul wakes me up once more. If you call thinking deep thoughts sleeping, then might as well wake up from this train of thought.

 

"Yeah?"

"What did Jin say to you? Does he remember you too?"

"Who's Jin?" Oops. Er, sorry Haneul. "Ah. Ah, Jin. Yes."

"Yeah, so what did he say?"

"Say? He didn't say anything to me.."

"But I thought you talked to him!" Haneul questioned with frustration. She's getting used to this tone when talking to me, but I'm tolerating her anyway. It's bothersome to tell her that I'm elder here. 

"Uh, yeah. He did, so may I go now? I got some job to catch. See you, Haneul." I stood up almost immediately and lifted the strap of my brown duffel bag and headed towards the door, with big strides, probably afraid to get caught lying.

"Shinyoung, you freak! I don't get you! Come back soon, okay?!" Haneul slightly shouted, as I twisted the doorknob open.

"Mhm, bye Haneul."

 

 

5PM, Pyeonchang Noodle House.

 

I came on just in time for work. I changed into my appropriate clothes and took a tray. I soon headed out of the locker room after fixing my hair into a tied down ponytail, leaving my some stray hair untied in the process. I came out to greet guests, gave them menus, took their choices, and headed for the counter. All repeadtedly. It's not tiring, my job, but the constant repetition is. I don't really pay attention to everyone in my work, unless it's the boss, who gives me the money I need. 

 

"Shinyeong! Shinyeong! Shinyeong!"

Ugh. How many times have people called me by my first name today. 

"What?" I flatly answered to Minhee, my 'friend' (if she does label me that back too). I intended to put some emotion to that 'what' really. The feeling of annoyance.

"You came to Bangtan's fansign again? What did your sister say? I bet she's excited again, like she always is," Minhee said. 

 

Minhee, she's actually my classmate, the one who recommended me into this noodle house. It's her father's business, and she helps here as well. I think she is a good child but she's pretty noisy sometimes. "Yeah, I did. You think Haneul would let me miss a single fansigning event? Please."

"That's amazing. I bet the members already remembers you," the shorter girl says. "Haneul is getting obssessed, eh? Like you before.." she added.

"Minhee."

"Oh, right. Right. Sorry. Okay no more about your past. I'm s-h-u-t-t-i-n-g up," Minhee smiles, playing a finger gesturing a zip to .

"I told you not to mention that. I told you not to." I reminded her. "I'm sick of those, so stop."

"Alright, alright! I did stop, so calm down, Shinyoung.."

 

 

I've tried not to talk much about my past. I don't want others to pity me and my sister. I don't need those. I was surprised by my sudden reaction to her words. Was I usually like this? 

 

 

No, I don't think so.

 

 

I noted her tone and felt regretful about the shallow reason I forced onto the conversation. "Sorry, want a cup of coffee instead?" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday, 8AM Seoul National Amusement Park.

 

 

Minhee's father, the boss, told us both to have a day off on a not so chilly sunday. I wore tank top and a loose button up shirt, jeans and sneakers. I brought with me the disc Minhee wanted me to bring the other day, White: The Melody of the Curse. I only like the plot, of the movie. Minhee knows it's about idols once again. I waited for Minhee's arrival, walking aimlessly outside the park, watching one balloon float away, straying off one's hand. I'm alone, I started to think...again.

 

 

"Father! Don't rip those! I only bought those today!" I yelled to my father, on top of my lungs, giving all the breath I could give. He touched my things again. I earned those without his money. 

"No! These won't make you any good! I am so tired with you and your idolatry with useless performers! You are such a disgrace to this family!" He said, still having a tantrum, releasing it on the lifeless things inside my room.

I rationalized, trying to make some sense,"They are not useless! Atleast they don't hurt me unlike you!"

He snapped, landing his mad eyes on mine,"How dare you talk back to me! You have no right to question me on how to discipline you! You're just like your mother, having interest on useless music! That won't get you a job someday! Wasting my money like that! You insolent kid! Know your f cking manners!"

I stood still, trying not to get myself hurt from all the reckless throws he does to the objects in his vicinity.

Then angrily, I shot back, very pissed,"I'm doing good with my grades! You don't even know about my achievments in school! Like when did you even start caring about money and my grades?! Why? Did you spend your money on alcohol again? You lost on bet again?! Don't drag me into those because you started it yourself! Don't drag mother in to this because it's all your hell of a fault! Dammit! You useless hypocrite being!"

"Watch your words Seon Shinyeong! I am still older than you and I am your father! F ck this idols, nothing but a piece of sh t like these two daughters I have!"

 

 

Time stopped. I heard him clear enough.

 

"I can't believe you. I can't believe you. Why are you like this! What did I do wrong?! Father, why are you like this?!" Tears started flowing, but I wasn't crying. I didn't cry. Tears came out by themselves."H-Haneul is sick and you do this?! Don't be like this father..."

 

I started to convince myself. I needed father's guidance, I needed his support, I can't be alone with Haneul being sick. I pleaded,"I'm sorry! I'll do better! I'll do better father! Don't be like this..."

"Seon Shinyeong. You aren't good enough. I don't need supporting you when you aren't even my children!"

 

Time started to tick again.

 

 

"W-what?"

 

 

 

"Seon Shinyeong! Seon Shinyeong!"

 

 

 

 

"Seon Shinyeong!"

 

 

What? Oh, Minhee. That's right, I'm here in the park, with MInhee. I glanced to my surroundings and absorbed what is happening as of the moment. It felt like I was in to the reality again. like a fast vacuum called reality.Then I looked to my left, I was still standing near the gates of the amusement park whe-

 

"HEY."

 

A strong gush of wind passed by me and I stood frozen on my spot, quite shocked on what happened. My duffel bag fell on the floor. 

 

Oh. It's you again.

 

"Oh why, isn't it Yejoon." I said, looking up at the close figure infront of me.

"Hi, Shinyeong-noona." He stepped back and added,"I felt that you might be coming here today, so I decided to play with fate, and look what happened." 

"Well, sadly, I'm not here to meet you." I reminded him, not caring if he got hurt emotionally, picking up the bag that fell.

He still implied, still holding my arm,"But I am here to meet you noona."

"Says who? Go now, go to your girlfriend if you do have one."

"Well, infact I did."

"Cut it out kid. I'm waiting for Minhee. Now go, you surprised me for nothing," I frankly told him, trying to drive him away. Yejoon, who is a year older than Haneul, is Haneul's childhood friend . He also works at the noodle house, only we have different shifts.

"Minhee-noona told me to pick you up. You guys have change of plans."

"What do you mean change of plans? Look, tell her she is annoying and I walked all the way here and I'm so thirsty and I'm gonna drink her blood."

"Ew, Shinyeong-noona, that's pretty gross...You see girls bleed, so it doesn't sound right."

"Shut it you unpoetic child. Let's go to where she is. Where is she anyway?" I stated, looking at all directions as I searched for Minhee's face. 

 

"She's at our noodle house. Boss had unexpected guests."

 

I looked at Yejoon, trying to fish some answers from his eyes. Useless day off. I'm gonna fire that old man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thank you for reading the first chapter of Medicine! Have a nice day xxx