~*~*~*~

The tears came unexpectedly.

Like the last drop in a glass too full, all of the retained emotion came cascading down over the edge until it was just the slow trickle of a beaten down spirit. 

Sehun was tired. 

"You know, kid, you might stop feeling so miserable if you made an effort not to."

He knew.

"You're not the only one like this, Sehun. There are so many other people in the exact same situation as you who have fixed themselves, so pull your head out of your and stop being so conceited. You're strong enough to get through this."

Was he?

"Honestly, Sehun, it's like you're not even human anymore. You're like a body that's lost its soul without any idea of how to find it again."

That's because he didn't. Have any idea, that is. There was this tick inside him that he just stopped hearing one day, and then that was that. It's not like he didn't remember having ideas and feelings and a life, because he did. It's more the how he couldn't seem to recall.

Just open your mouth, Sehun. Just say a few words, it shouldn't be that hard.

But it was. 

He could only seem to talk to one person: a boy who looked around his age with a pretty girlish face and shaggy blonde hair who stuck to him like glue for no reason at all. He was always surrounded by people and remembered when all of them were bright and clear and loud around him, but recently it was like they weren't even there anymore. It was probably him that wasn't there, though.

"Sehun."

"Mm."

"Open your freaking eyes."

"Mmm."

A sharp pinch to his nose had his eyes flying wide open and sitting up in his bed in a second. "Bloody hell, Luhan, you couldn't wait five seconds for me to get up on my own?" Sehun chastised, rubbing his nose in between the crook of his eyebrows. "You're the most impatient person, I swear."

Luhan just laughed, popping up beside Sehun and ruffling his hair fondly. "Yep, and you deal with it because I'm your only friend," he chirped. 

"I don't know about friend," Sehun retorted, "because that implies that positive feelings are exchanged mutually."

"I thought we were past this, Sehunnie. I know you love me with all of your heart because it's impossible not to love me, and you know I love you with all of my heart because I'm dumb and make bad decisions in friends."

Sehun looked at Luhan and shook his head, grumbling and reluctantly getting out of his bed to go take a shower. "Wait why are you even here?" He asked suddenly, only then registering that Luhan was in his room at 7:00 in the freaking morning. 

"Well, it is the weekend. I figured since you're always so busy doing- oh yeah, nothing- that we might as well hang out." 

"At 7:00 in the morning?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to take a shower," Sehun conceded, knowing Luhan wouldn't leave even if Sehun wanted him to.

Clean and fresh, Sehun walked out of his bathroom and sat on his bed in front of Luhan. "So what do you have planned."

"Well," Luhan started, scratching his head, "I was thinking go-stop, food, movies, more food, and then a deep feelings jam about our dreams and aspirations," he listed, a grin spread across his face. 

"Well, assuming the last part was as much of a joke as your social life, it sounds good to me. Why aren't we going outside, though? It's perfect out," Sehun asked curiously, looking at the clear sky through the window.

"Sehun it's raining. Are you blind?" Luhan responded, rolling his eyes and pointing at the sky that was suddenly clouded and gray.

"Oh," Sehun blinked dumbly, "apparently I am, yes."

"Pft, pabo," Luhan laughed, reaching over to hit the back of Sehun's head.
"Your room is pretty boring, though, so I can see how easy it could be to zone out and not notice things," he added, looking around at Sehun's drab room with distaste. "Maybe we'll add redecorating to the list."

Instead of arguing, Sehun pulled out his deck of go-stop cards with a resigned sigh. "You can draw first."

"Is your friend coming today?" Luhan asked as he flipped down his first card.

"No, I don't think so. He can only stop by for a bit every Friday nowadays," Sehun responded noncommittally, eyes focused on the cards in his hands as he cussed and drew another card.

"His visits seem to go by a lot quicker now, too. Are you two okay?" Luhan responded, a triumphant grin spreading across his face as he slammed down a winning card. 

"YOU LITTLE . And yeah, I noticed that too. I dunno, I guess there just isn't much to talk about anymore." At this, Luhan looked up at Sehun and his face softened.

"You need to open up to him, Sehun. Trust me when I say that I know you better than you think. I know that there's probably a reason he's not staying as long anymore. Just talk to him," Luhan advised, poking Sehun's cheek.

"Yeah, whatever. You're just trying to get more time away from me, aren't you? I can see right through your plans, shmuck," Sehun laughed, shuffling the go-stop cards for a new round.

"You got me," Luhan smiled half-heartedly, holding up his hands with a resigned sigh and picking up his new cards.

Two hours later and their go-stop game had ended with a deciding growl emanating from Sehun's stomach. Now they found themselves laid out on the floor in front of Sehun's bed with their food balanced precariously on their stomachs and a movie popped in, flickering from one scene to the next in front of them. 

"I think we should have a Disney Princess movie marathon after this," Luhan suggested halfway through Loki getting the wits smashed out of him by the hulk. 

"Disney Princesses?" Sehun laughed incredulously. "How old are you again?" 

"Oh please, don't even try to deny how much you love them. I know you do," Luhan retorted immediately, knocking Sehun's shoulder with his own. "We could watch Mulan or The Little Mermaid or Pocahontas or Sleeping Beauty or Beauty and the Beast or-"

"-I got it Luhan! Geez. You pick, though. And only after you finish your food. You never eat, little bean," Sehun nagged, pointing at Luhan's untouched food.

"Yeah, whatever Sehun-ah. I eat when I want to eat. And it certainly doesn't help that the only food you ever has is like hospital food. It's freaking nasty. I think we'll watch Sleeping Beauty, though. Aurora was always my favorite."

"Mine too," Sehun said before he could stop himself. He covered his mouth immediately with wide eyes, but it was too late.

"I TOLD YOU SO," Luhan screeched triumphantly, pointing at Sehun's blushing face with a smug grin. "I know you better than you do, Sehunnie. Accept it," he laughed. 

Refusing to meet his friend's eyes, Sehun grudgingly got up and put in Sleeping Beauty, only letting a small smile make its way onto his face when the lights were turned off and he was sure Luhan couldn't see him. 

Four Disney movies later, and Sehun had fall asleep on Luhan's lap, which he found himself in shortly after the second movie began. Halfway through the third movie, Luhan had begun to idly comb his fingers through Sehun's hair, and that combined with the idle tapping of rain against the window had Sehun's eyelids feeling heavy before the fourth movie even started. However, when the credits began to roll, Luhan gently shook Sehun, and the tall blonde boy reluctantly let his eyes flutter open and his friend push him into a sitting position. 

"Thanks for watching those with me," Luhan said softly. "I haven't watched those since I was a kid. When it was just me and my mom, we'd pass the time by watching those over and over before my dad got home. It seems like forever since I've seen them," he explained with a small smile.

"Same," Sehun replied, yawning sleepily. "Why did you have to stop when your dad got home?" 

"Because I couldn't be in the same room as him without screaming and crying. I was a rowdy kid." Luhan chuckled, but there was something missing.

"You just flipped out whenever you saw your dad for no reason? Talk about a momma's boy," Sehun joked, missing the stricken look on his friend's face. 

"Well, it wasn't for no reason, really. My mom stopped looking my dad in the eye after awhile and- I was quite a perceptive child, you see- I always noticed and tended to go hide in my room until I could be alone with my mom again, but my dad always found me first. My mom wouldn't interfere when my dad came into my room, even though she could hear me start screaming again. When my dad was done and out of the house, my mom would be the one to come in and comfort me, so of course I favored her more. She didn't tell me that I was the reason her and my dad were growing apart, but I knew I was. I was the reason she couldn't look him in the eye. I couldn't understand the situation when I was smaller, but I do now, and I can't forgive myself for it." Luhan in a shaky breath and smiled tearily, looking down shaking his head. "I've never told anyone that. It feels good to talk about," Luhan said, and Sehun suddenly felt a constricting in his chest.

"What did your father do to you, Luhan?" 

Luhan looked at him with a small smile. "I think you can figure that out on your own, Sehunnie. As for me, I'm thinking it's time to go. Bye, Sehun-ah," he said with a finality that seized Sehun's heart with fear. 

"Wait, Luhan-" he spluttered. He whipped his body around to face his friend, but was met with an empty room. 

There wasn't a single raincloud in the sky.

~*~*~*~

"Do you have anything new to tell me about, Sehun?"

"No- well. Yeah. Yes, I do."

"That's wonderful, Sehun," the doctor with the shaggy blonde hair responds, readying his pen on his clipboard with a caring smile spread across his girlish features. "You can tell me anything."

"I was molested by my father."

 

The tears came unexpectedly. 

~*~*~*~

 

[ A/N: 

SoOooOooOooOoOoOo.. Yes, no, maybe, so? I tried not to make this too much of a try-hard angsty fic if you get what I'm sayin', but I don't actually know if this is even good, as I am not much of a serious writer. I wanted to try it out though, so this happened😁

I don't want to start rambling, which I definitely will if I talk about anything else, so I hope you liked my story! 

Comment, upvote, subscribe, whatever you will make you happy because that's all I'm here for☺️

Thanks for reading!!

Annyeongg~ ]