Here I am again, at the ice skating rink but this time is different. I'm at the ice skating rink alone without HIM. Thinking back to our time together made my eyes watery. Everyday, I blame myself for what happened. Every night, I have nightmares of that specific day. The day he left me. The day he left this cruel world. We were so happy together but what happened? Why is he the one that had to leave? It should've been me because I was the one that hurt him and made him upset eventhough I didn't mean to. He's like blood that travel through my whole body. When he's no longer there, my whole body can't function and it's like I'm dead but I'm not. That's how I feel without him. I'm dead already but to everyone, I'm still alive. Everyone sees me as a 'happy virus' but that was just acting. I'm trying my best to be the old me. The old Park Chanyeol.