HYUKJAE POV

 

 

“And where’s my mom?”

 

 

 

 

...What the?

 

 

 

“W-what do you mean, Hae?” I stuttered, feeling confused.

 

 

Isn’t it his mom who’s dead instead of his father? His mom killed herself, right? Why he has to ask?

 

 

Aish.

 

What’s going on, exactly?

 

 

I’m feeling really confused staring at Hae who’s showing his super clueless expression and feeling bad because I can’t answer exactly his question.

 

 

“I... Don’t know,” he whispered at me again, and now I heard slight fear in his voice.

 

 

Awh.

 

This make me really confused as ever.

 

 

Omo!

 

Is his soul swapped with another person when he woke up??

 

 

Ah, no.

 

That can’t be true.

 

 

He remembered almost everything about me and he know almost everything before this.

 

Yeah, I know I never mentioned his dad—

 

 

OMO!

 

He said on the plane, ‘mom’s not that rich’.

 

 

So he knew that his mom’s alive since that time?

 

But… his mom is not alive.

 

 

His dad is.

 

 

And… How about Victoria?

 

This is really confusing.

 

 

“Hae…” I called him softly as I caressed his cheek with his scared expression which make me want to hug him tight.

 

“Umm?”

 

“Do you mind if you sleep in my house tonight?” I asked him slowly and without any second, he just shook his head, still with the same expression.

 

 

“Of course I’ll be happy to sleep with you, Hyukkie,” he said.

 

 

Awh.

 

He sounded like he pretend to be romantic as always but afraid and confused feeling took over him so it’s kind of failed.

 

Poor Hae.

 

 

Something’s wrong with his memories, I bet.

 

 

I quickly get up and headed inside which his dad, Victoria and her aunt were standing, waiting for us to come inside again but feeling confused because it’s just me who came.

 

 

“Um, sir, I’m sorry. Maybe we’ll go here just tomorrow. Hae’s not in really good condition,” I tried to said in the most polite way.

 

Victoria gasped, “Why, oppa? He can rest here if he want—“

 

 

“No, it’s alright,” Hae’s dad interrupted. “I can understand. Please take care of Donghae and…”

 

He stared at my eyes deeply.

 

 

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. And tell him too,” he plead at me.

 

 

I just nodded.

 

I know he’s been that regret to me and that nice, you know, he’s been trying to take care of me when Hae’s still sleeping that long.

 

 

But…

 

I don’t want to think about it right now, since my mind is only stuck to Hae.

 

 

After I excuse myself, I hurriedly go back outside which Hae—

 

 

“Hae?”

 

Where is he?

 

There’s no one here, not even his wheelchair.

 

 

Aish!

 

“Haee? Hae!” I called out, searching for him as I ran through the house.

 

 

He couldn’t be that far.

 

 

I glance at the front gate that shows a bodyguard stood still there.

 

“Excuse me, did you see Donghae?” I asked him and he just shook his head.

 

 

That means he’s still inside the house, right?

 

I turned and ran until I spotted a wheelchair—With Hae sitting on it—right after I arrived at the garden at the back of the house.

 

 

“Hae?”

 

He’s back facing me and stay silent even I know he’s heard me already.

 

 

I walked towards him and…

 

OMO!!

 

 

He’s crying.

 

 

“H-hae, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?” I couldn’t help but blurted out those questions in panic as I quickly kneeled down in front of him and cupped his wet cheek.

 

He opened his eyes and stared at me.

 

 

I can see pain.

 

Visible on his eyes.

 

 

“Hae, why are you crying? Hae—“

 

Suddenly, I felt a sudden movement from Hae as he suddenly got up and kneeled to hug me tightly.

 

 

Awh.

 

 

I can hear his soft sobs on my shoulder as he round his hand on my waist.

 

 

“I…” He murmured between his sobbing sound. His sobs sounds like he just know a super hurting truth and that makes me feel pain in my heart just by hear it.

 

Why he sounds so painful?

 

What happened?

 

Is he hurt?

 

 

I know he is, but… What’s going on?

 

 

Nothing describe my confusion right now.

 

 

I just sat there, with Hae hugging me like he has to lean on me for his life.

 

 

“I don’t know, Hyukkie…” He said, while I just his back trying to calm him down.

 

He doesn’t know what?

 

 

“I’m already remembered, but… I… I’m still, not sure,” he whispered, more to himself which make me gasped immediately.

 

Did he just say that he’s not sure enough he has remembered me?

 

 

And yet he said he’s remembered everything.

 

What’s that suppose to mea—

 

 

“I can easily remember you, Hyukkie… every single bit of you,” He said, “But…”

 

 

But…?

 

 

I’m getting really confused when suddenly, Hae hold his head and grunted.

 

 

“Hae?”

 

Omo. Is he okay?

 

“I… Uh,”

 

 

He loosen his hug as I cupped his face. His expression shows that he’s really suffering.

 

I can’t stand that expression.

 

 

“Hae, are you okay?”

 

He just nodded as he shut tightly his eyes.

 

 

He’s not okay.

 

He’s definitely not.

 

 

Damn.

 

I know he’s really suffering right now.

 

 

Just don’t panic, Eunhyuk.

 

 

I sat him on his chair to make him feel more comfortable as he keep on frowning hard and I know he tries really hard to not holding his head, showing that he’s hurt which I definitely know he is just by seeing his condition right now.

 

 

Please, God.

 

 

Whatever happens,

 

Let him be alright.

 

 

 

---

 

 

“Thank you, Hyukkie,” Hae whispered after he ate his dinner on bed with me feeding him.

 

I just nodded.

 

I know he said it’s not too hurt anymore, but still, I’m so worried I couldn’t even speak much right now, still thinking about event earlier.

 

 

“Hyukkie…” He called again which makes me glance at him.

 

He pouted. “Are you mad?”

 

 

Aish… “I’m not, Hae,” I answered, gave him a sigh.

 

I’ve told you, I just damn worried.

 

 

And yeah, I know Hae doesn’t even know that.

But…

 

 

“Why are you ignoring me?”

 

What?

 

Seriously, Hae…

 

 

“I’m not…” I said as I collect the plate and about to go to the kitchen to do the dish when he pouted even deeper.

 

I sighed. “Don’t pout,”

 

 

He blinked at me. “But… You’re mad at me,”

 

 

What the? Doesn’t he realize that I’m dead worried after that scene in his house’s garden? I couldn’t even speak any words, geez.

 

 

But…

 

He’s really cute like this.

 

 

This make me feel loved.

 

 

I put the plate on the nightstand and cupped his face with both of my hands.

 

“I’m not, I’m not mad at you, Hae. Look, I even cook for you and stuff,” I said even I don’t really want to say those things because, yah, I do it deep from my heart, so no need to even talk about it, right?

 

I looked down, feeling a sudden shy feeling before speak out again.

 

 

“I’m just… worried,”

 

 

I keep staring down until Hae lifted my chin and gave me that killer-charming-smile even it still shows a little pain.

 

“Don’t be, baby…” He said and I swear from his voice he become really happy right now.

 

 

Why does he become this happy when I’m this worried about him?

 

 

He’s so mean.

 

“I’m okay, see? I’m smiling happily right now, even I…”

 

 

Even he’s what?

 

“Even what?” I asked, blinking at him as I pulled out both of my hands, staring at his eyes intently.

 

 

“I still need something to make me feel better,” He said and then smile again as I can feel his hand starts to caressing my cheek.

 

“W-what is it?”

 

 

He leaned closer to me, and I swear I feel heat crept on my face instantly.

 

 

“Your… Lips?”

 

 

OMO.

 

 

I widened my eyes. “Y-yah, sleep now,” I said and stood up to leave because I know I couldn’t hid my blush and that would be really embarrassing.

 

 

It’s not that I don’t want to kiss him…

 

But…

 

Okay, usually I’m the one who starts the kiss.

 

But but but…

 

 

If he asks for it, I can’t help but feeling too shy to even do it!

 

 

Haish.

 

 

I saw he’s pouting again, now with his hand tugged to my shirt.

 

Freaking cute.

 

 

“You don’t want to kiss your boyfriend?” He suddenly asked.

 

 

GYAH!!

 

Boyfriend.

 

Boyfriend…

 

 

Of course I want to.

 

I just chuckled seeing his cute sulking face. “Only a peck,” I said unconsciously and he immediately raised his brows followed by a smirk on the edge of his lips.

 

“Wha..? Aww, Hyukkie… I didn’t even expect something more than that,” he grinned and pinch my cheek playfully.

 

 

What the…

 

Aish!!

 

What the hell am I saying?

 

Now I sounded like a ert.

 

 

“Shindong hyung is not even here to disturb us again,” he said which immediately make me blushed.

 

Omo! He’s reminding about this morning!

 

 

That’s really embarrassing.

 

 

I felt another touch on my cheek. “Now, baby, where’s my kiss?” he spoke.

 

 

Ugh.

 

Should I really…?

 

 

Haish, admit it, Hyuk. You want it too, right?

 

But…

 

 

Now shut up and kiss!

 

 

I leaned closer and closer, and I peck softly his lips.

 

Why is this…. The sensation of kissing him makes me want to do it more and more, but… I’ve promised to myself that this is only a peck so he can sleep now.

 

But…

 

I want it more…

 

 

I unconsciously cupped his face and kissed him more and with no doubt, I can feel he’s smiling between the innocent kiss.

 

 

After we pulled out because of our oxygen needs, he stared at my eyes and smiled lovingly.

 

“Thank you, baby,”

 

 

I swear I could melt with those words.

 

“Uhm, you… should sleep,” I said between my consciousnesses to stay straight with my point. Somehow after kissed him, I just don’t want this moment to be over soon.

 

Yeah and I bet you know why.

 

I still really missed him.

 

 

Before I could lose with those desires to kiss him again, I quickly stood up and took the plate and about to go to the kitchen when I heard him said.

 

 

“Come back here soon, Hyukkie,”

 

I just nodded.

 

 

Oh god…

 

 

I couldn’t ask anything more.

 

This is so real and everything seems so happy since my birthday and I felt so thankful with that.

 

 

I’m just glad I waited for him.

 

But…

 

 

I still concerned about his memories about his family.

 

Something’s wrong, but I couldn’t tell.

Maybe because… Ugh, I couldn’t even guess what’s wrong.

 

I’ll just ask doctor about that later.

 

 

Right after I done washing the dishes, I walked back to Hae’s room and thinking that maybe he’s asleep already because I know he’s too tired from the long flight,

 

But I was wrong.

 

He still sat there nicely, eyes opened as he blinking at me. His lips curved a very handsome smile even with those cute blue pajamas.

 

 

But then, those smiles disappear as it quickly replaced by a pout.

 

“What took you so long?”

 

 

I chuckled.

 

Such an impatient boyfriend.

 

 

“I’m not even took 5 minutes, Hae,” I said while walking towards the bed, sitting on it.

 

He just silence, still pouting as he eyeing me.

 

 

Huh?

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

He patted the space beside him. “Why won’t you sit here?”

 

Awh, don’t tell me he want me to sleep with him too now?

 

 

I just freeze until he spoke again, “Just at least… embrace me until I fall asleep,” he said, still forming a cute pout with his lips, even clearer than before.

 

Can I just kiss those lips?

 

 

Aish, hold it, ert.

 

 

I smiled and crawled towards the space he mean before, and sat nicely there, right beside him. He cheered. “Thank you, Hyukkie~”

 

“Anything for my Hae,”

 

Haish, since when I’ve become so cheesy?

 

 

He hugged me and kissed my forehead. “Now I can sleep happily with you beside me,” he said, changing his position from sitting to lying on the mattress.

 

Oh, I bet I got that cheesyness from Hae.

 

But never mind, I love it.

 

 

I nodded at him. “Sleep tight, Hae,”

 

“You too, baby,”

 

 

With that, I joined him to sleep with him embracing me.

 

 

 

---

 

 

I felt something shifted.

 

 

Ugh…

 

 

“H…Hyuk…”

 

I heard a voice far away from me—or at least that’s what I think.

 

 

Who is it…

 

I’m trying to sleep.

 

 

After a while, those shifting and voice disappear and make me drifted off again to the dreamland—where suddenly, I feel something shifted again.

 

“Hyuk…”

 

Now, it’s closer.

 

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

 

I snapped my eyes opened.

 

Hae’s voice.

 

 

I glance at the clock before I could realize what happened, and it shows 2.05 AM.

 

Now what’s happened?

 

 

Something cold touched my hand, and I turned.

 

Hae.

He’s woke up.

 

 

“Hyukkie…” he called me really slowly, I caught many feelings in his eyes. Fear, guilty, pain, and those similar feelings. Including the usual love stare.

 

Wait—this is not a dream right?

 

 

I glance around and turn back to him once again to make sure this not a dream. After I’m much sure and gained back my consciousness, I stared at Hae and cupped his face with my right hand gently.

 

 

“What happened, Hae?”

 

He bit his lower lip. “I couldn’t sleep,”

 

 

Wait…

 

As I remember, I got to sleep at… 9 PM. So…

 

He’s freaking awake for 5 hours!?

 

 

“Since when, Hae?” I asked.

 

 

“Since… what do you mean?”

 

“have you sleep once?”

 

 

He shook his head.

 

 

Oh gosh.

 

What happened?

 

Is he hurt?

 

 

“Are you hurt somewhere, Hae?” I asked him full of concern. I definitely not sleepy anymore after knowing he hasn’t sleep for that long. I checked on his legs by opening the blanket that covering it. “Is it your legs?”

 

Why he didn’t wake me up earlier?

 

 

Again, he shook his head.

 

“I’m sorry for waking you up, baby,”

 

 

I shook my head furiously. “No!! You should wake me up earlier. Why I could sleep when you’re not even able to close your eyes?” I bit my lower lip, feeling bad of myself.

 

 

Such a fail boyfriend I am.

 

 

“No, I just…” He tried to speak but I know he’s hesitating to tell me.

 

I sat up after covering half of his body with blanket and about to bring him a cup of hot chocolate to make him calm down a bit because I know he’s now uneasy.

 

“Wait, Hae… I’ll bring you drink okay? To make you relax,” I said but as soon as I about to get up, I felt he held my hand.

 

 

“I don’t need it…” he said as he pulled me closer with sudden hug.

 

 

I can feel his unsteady heartbeat.

 

 

“H-Hae…”

 

“Sssh… please…”

 

 

I couldn’t say anything as he keep hugging me tightly, and I just can his back slowly.

 

“I’m… afraid,” he whispered.

 

 

Is it his family?

 

I bet it is.

 

 

I can’t even imagine how he feels.

 

He must be really confused.

 

 

“Now tell me everything you remember, Hae,” I said, pulled out from the hug as I cupped his face with both of my hands.

 

He stared down.

 

 

“Am I remembering you wrongly?” He asked, holding tightly my hands that are on his cheeks.

 

 

I titled my head. “What do you remember about me?”

 

He took a deep breath. “Ask me something about you,”

 

 

Hmm…

 

It’s like testing his memories.

 

 

“Who start our first kiss, and where?” I asked, and couldn’t help to blushed remembering the scene on the library months—I mean year ago.

 

He narrowed his brows. “Me… at the library?”

 

 

I nodded. “Correct,”

 

 

Now since he’s confused about his family, come the tricky part. “Where exactly it take place?”

 

 

“Uhm…” he bit his lower lip, “the corner of the library,”

 

I nodded again in agreement. It’s still correct…

 

 

“And why we’re there? Why we have to hide?” I asked, seeing through his eyes.

 

 

He blinked. “Because I was hiding from Victoria, right?”

 

 

Wow, “Correct, Hae,” I said, amazed. And he thought his dad was…? Hm, let’s ask another question… “Why Victoria searching for you?”

 

“She wants me to eat lunch with her,”

 

I nodded again and again.

 

 

Now I doubt there’s something wrong with his memories.

 

But of course, it’s not finished yet.

 

Here’s the real question.

 

 

“Last question, Hae…” I caressed his cheek. “Who is Victoria?”

 

 

He smiled as if that’s the super easiest question because I know exactly that kind of smile. That super confident smile which is only Hae who smiled like that. Maybe because he didn’t expecting that the last question would be this easy.

 

With a deep breath, he answered.

 

 

 

“My cousin, of course,”

 

 

 

 

My eyes widened.

 

“Your what?”

 

 

He raised his brows. Those confident smile suddenly disappears because seeing my reaction. “My… Cousin?”

 

Now, he sounds not sure.

 

 

This is wrong.

 

 

Now here’s the wrong point.

 

Why could Victoria be his cousin when actually they have no relation at all—if his dad was dead?

 

 

“It’s not… c-correct?” he asked and I caught fear in his voice.

 

I quickly held his hand and kissed his cheek to calm him down. Whatever in his mind, it’s not his fault at all—It’s his dad fault for making him forget everythi—

 

Okay great. Now I’m starting to blame him again.

 

 

“It’s not your fault, Hae.” I spoke, “at least you remember everything about me,” I added as I smiled at him, hoping he could smile back but I just see his sad expression for the reply.

 

 

I couldn’t stand this expression…

 

It’s like I’m seeing him with those nightmares again every time something bad about to happen.

 

 

“So I’m wron—Uhh…”

 

Suddenly, he closed his eyes and touched his forehead with one of his hand.

 

 

Oh, no, not again.

 

 

“Hae… Is your head hurt?” I asked stupidly. Of course his head hurt, pabo. And that’s such a meaningless question.

 

He shook his head.

 

 

Classic Hae.

 

 

I soothed him because I don’t know what to do, and let him lying in my embrace. “Hae… Don’t think about it now… you’re tired,” I pleaded.

 

Seeing him in this state is so frustrating and depressing.

 

 

Should I bring him to the doctor?

 

I know I’m planning to do it tomorrow, but…

 

Is it okay if I just wait until morning?

 

 

“I…am okay…” he whispered with those suffering expression.

 

 

“Can you stop, Hae..?” I said, almost cry because I know he’s so damn in pain right now, and I can’t do anything to stop it.

 

“Please, please please… Don’t try to remember anything that you don’t have to, you have me, I’ll take care of you, please stop remembering, baby, please,” I plead and unconsciously my tears has dropped.

 

 

He opened his eyes because of hearing my cracked voice, and cupped my face. “Why’s my baby cry?” he said, and his voice is now getting hoarse.

 

I bit my lower lip without saying anything.

 

 

“I’m okay… I’ve told you… right?”

 

Your definition of okay is less okay for me, like at all, Hae…

 

 

“Stop crying, beautiful…” he whispered on my ear and I all of a sudden I feel something on my lips—his lips.

 

He bit my lower lip and I just opened slightly my lips as I feel his tongue sneaked in.

 

“Mmmh…”

 

 

I felt too drowned in the kiss I even almost forget that Hae’s just in pain, which I quickly pulled out, making him raised his brows.

 

“Y-your head…” I muttered, still affected by the kiss.

 

 

He gave a little smile. “It’s okay,”

 

 

I sighed.

 

Maybe.

 

For now.

 

 

“Hyukkie…” he called me slowly, sounds like he’s doubting about something.

 

I glance at him. “Hmm?”

 

“Tell me the… truth,”

 

 

What, this again?

 

Seeing him suffered again?

 

Seeing him in pain again?

 

 

No, no.

 

But…

 

It’s important.

 

What should I do?

 

 

I know he can’t wait for tomorrow or something.

 

“But Hae…” I tried to resist. “I don’t know if I can…”

 

 

I don’t know if I can stand it seeing you in pain like that, Hae.

 

 

“You can, Hyukkie, please,” he begged while holding both of my hands as he sat up.  I’m about to sat up too, but then, he held me. “Just lay… I want to hug you…” he said then hug me with our current position.

 

“Now tell me,”

 

 

I took a deep breath while feeling his on my back.

 

“I’ve told you… I can’t…”

 

 

“But I’ve told you that you can…”

 

I shook my head.

 

“Why?”

 

 

I bit my lower lip, “Because I love you,”

 

“I do too, and why can’t you tell me…?”

 

 

Aish, doesn’t he understand?

 

 

“I worry about you…” I whispered, but loud enough for him to hear.

 

 

I don’t want to see him in pain.

 

 

“Hae, just go to sleep, I’ll tell you in the morning after you woke up,” I said reassuring him. I just remembered that he hasn’t had good sleep—I mean, any sleep at all so I want him to sleep first, if maybe his head—and I know his head still slight in pain.

 

 

I mean… It won’t just disappear like that after he kissed someone he loves, right?

 

 

He stays silent for awhile, then inhaled deeply.

 

“Okay,”

 

 

I smiled, looking up at him. “Really?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll sleep. You too, okay?”

 

I nodded, feeling happy because he just agreed with me.

 

 

But then, I know none of my decision was right.

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

I bit my lower lip.

 

 

No..

 

 

“M-mom,” he whispered.

 

I clenched my grip on the bed sheets, almost letting out tears because I know I can do nothing but hugging him like this.

 

 

Definitely another nightmare.

 

 

He has been trying to remember those.

 

But…

 

What’s his dream about?

 

 

If it’s about reality…

 

Then…

 

 

When he knows the truth,

 

He’ll be more hurt.

 

 

Because it’s like nightmare comes to reality.

 

 

But…

 

 

It’s true since the start.

 

 

 

What should I do?

 

 

I stared at his face, wiping those sweats on his forehead where his brows were frowning since minutes ago, then down to his cheek where droplets of tears lie there.

 

Thank God I didn’t sleep.

 

 

“Whatever happens to you, Hae…

 

 

I’ll protect you with everything,”

 

 

 

Look at me carefully, It's because I don't like you crying

Being hurt is tiring, every time I see you like that

 

I love you, okay? I worry about you, okay?

 

I'll take care of you until the end

You know me, right? You saw me, right?

 

 

I'll protect you until the end

 

 

Do you hear me, do you hear me... oh?

The end of your wet eyes full of memories

 

 

I hope it dies in my embrace

I try to at least protect you

Who quietly heard the falling tears being swallowed by ripped hearts

 

 

Come to me, It's because I like it when you smile

I'll make you comfortable, at least I can for you

 

 

 

Will you fight? Will you get hurt again?

 

 

 

In an endless ring of hurt, it's always a quiet war

That's too much for you

With a shield of worry, I stay in front of you and

I revolve around you like a moon

 

I'll cover up your deep scars

And make you laugh

 

 

 

I'll protect you until the end

 

 

 

I heard steadiness from his breath, which makes me now sighed in relieve.

 

Is it over?

 

 

I bet it is.

 

 

I took glance at the wall clock which now revealing number 5 in the morning.

 

He has those nightmares for 2 hours.

 

 

My poor Hae.

 

 

“Recover soon, baby,” I whispered as I kissed his forehead gently, his hair while staring at his face.

 

So handsome.

 

 

But this is the different kind of handsome Hae has.

 

This one looks suffering, not like before the accident which his face always bright, showing happiness and love to me.

 

 

 

I bit my lower lip.

 

God.

 

If he woke up just to suffer more,

 

 

Why woke him up…?

 

 

 

I felt something flowing through my cheek.

 

No.

 

This is the right thing, making him woke up.

 

 

Because I’m the one who will protect him, and take care of him.

 

 

No matter what.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Lyrics: Infinite - Be Mine)

 

 

 

 

 

 

===================================================================

[A/N]: OMO!

 

I'M REALLY TRULY DEEPLY SORRY.... IT'S BEEN YEARS(i thought) I DIDN'T UPDATE OAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

T-T *BOWS*

 

I really do hope maybe you'll kind enough to continue reading this story... I won't abandon this story again EVER T-T

 

 

Thank you for the wait....

 

I'm so sorry.... I'm a terrible author I know T^T Please just forgive me and back to read my fic....HUAAAAAAA

if u do just keep commenting T T I'll reply it for sure... I love you everyone