On Sunday I promised myself I'd go back to being awesome Tao, but on Monday morning I had no strength. I didn't put much effort in dressing up and taming my hair. As it was rainy outside, I grabbed my baggy sweatshirt, made myself a cup of coffee to go and took a bagel with me. When I realized I had too few hands for locking my door, I bit on the bagel and locked it then tried putting the key back in my bag.

-"Oh, let me help you!" out of nowhere, that guy appeared and took the coffee from my hand. I stood there in shock with widened eyes not being able to move. He just looked at me and smiled. I wasn't really ready for this. I tried saying "thank you" but forgot a bagel was in my mouth so when I tried to speak, it fell right out on the floor. We both looked at it and he looked back at me but I had no nerves to look at his eyes and just stared at the bagel. "Sorry for that bagel... Anyways, see you around." he said and disappeared same as my sanity just seconds ago.

"What exactly is wrong with you?! What were you doing? Idiot!" I couldn't believe I just did nothing. Not even a 'hi', nothing. Nothing. My legs moved so slowly toward the bus stop. I didn't care if I was late, I just thought about my stupid reaction. I felt ashamed for being frozen. "Awesome Tao, my !" I sat on a bench, waiting for the bus and ripping the bagel into pieces then feeding it to a stray dog that sat in front of me. The whole time I admired my ability to look like a moron.

Luna giggled when I told her what happened. "At least, he said he'd see you around, that means you have another chance to say 'hi'."

-"Or drop something and stare at him blankly." I rolled my eyes.

-"Don't be so harsh on yourself, you are still my favourite person in the whole world!" she took her box of juice from the table and showed me to get up. I walked her to her classroom and noticed her classmates looking at me but ignored them. Everyone's always been staring at us not being able to figure out if we're just friends or something more. I can't blame them, though. The two of us are really affectionate with each other. "See you tonight!" she said louder and slid her fingers down my upper arm. She liked making them dumbfounded and even jealous since she found out some of the girls had a crush on me. I smirked giving into her game. Yes, we are terrible people.

On my way home, I stopped in front of my door and smiled remembering his cute face when he looked at the bagel I dropped. I bit my lower lip and entered my home. I was glad I saw him and Luna was right, I was going to see him again. Well, I guess Monday is now not that bad...

And that's when the sleepless nights started. Endless possible scenarios of the next time we'd meet wouldn't leave my head. But I liked it. I imagined making him laugh even though I had never heard his laugh before. I had the feeling I wanted to see him right away and tickle him just to hear it. "Oh, God... Pull yourself together." I covered my head with a pillow and hugged it until I fell asleep.

~~~

If only I had known I wouldn't see him until a week and a half had passed. All that time, I kept thinking about him and wanting to meet him again. Having a crush is a pure torture. In my case, at least. The way my heart felt like it didn't have enough room in my chest to beat properly, as if the space had shrunk, the way my body shook and felt like burning, the way my hands didn't know what to do and kept finding a perfect position but couldn't, the way my knees felt weak and legs numb, the smile that decided to appear without me being aware of it... It was all worth it. He smiled back, coming up the stairs and we met half way as I was going down.

-"Hello." I said this time and bowed.

-"Hello, neighbour..." he smiled widely and bowed back. "Nice to see you again. My name is Luhan, I never got the chance to tell you..."

"Luhan... Luhan... Wow, a pretty name. Oh! I should tell him mine!" ... "Um, I'm Tao."

-"So, Tao... It was kind of my fault for that bagel. Do you think you have the time to go grab another one? My treat." he looked calm alright, but he was nodding his head too much, it was so cute.

-"Sure, I was just about to go pick up some food for my cat. Is it to weird if we go together? It's two blocks down." I chuckled and his smile showed his beautiful teeth.

-"No, not at all. Let's go."

-"So did you move in here?" I asked as we walked down the street.

-"Yes, my parents have an apartment here and gave it to me so I could try living on my own. Everyone seems to think I'm old enough, which I agree with. I'm 24 now..."

-"What?!" I couldn't hide my surprise. "You're my... hyung...?" I was shocked and he just giggled.

After the little pause, he stopped walking. "Hey..." - he was looking down. I stood there in front of him with my hands in my pockets. The way he avoided eye contact was unbelievably adorable, I had the need to giggle and hug him but kept it cool and let him say what he wanted. His lip biting action showed me he was thinking something through but my blood started rushing through my veins from the site, burning me slowly. I tried controlling my y thoughts and clenched my fist, then gulped audibly. "Is this...like... a date?" he finally continued and brought his stare up to my eyes making me want to scream from the cuteness and pinch his cheek.

-"Umm... I, um..." I coughed into my fist escaping drowning in my own saliva. "Do you want it to be?"

-"Why not?" his face lit up in a split of a second. "I like you... that's why I gathered the strength to ask you out. And you accepted it so... I guess..." I didn't see how he could be unsure I liked him. I mean, I practically said 'yes' before he even asked. To avoid having to use my voice which I was sure would crack, I just bit my lip with a smile and nodded.

On our little half-an-hour date I managed to prize myself for liking someone who's worth it this time. He was the cutest hyung ever and still had a dose of seriousness which was attractive as hell. His story was very interesting to listen to. He had just found a job working as a back up dancer in an entertainment company, which was originally the reason he moved here.

-"So..." I didn't know what to say when we reached my door.

-"Yeah, this was great. I liked buying cat food and donuts on our first... date." he earned a chuckle from me and gave me a smile back.

-"Me, too." I felt sad for spending such little time with him, but he had to go get ready for work and there was nothing I could do. "Here's my number, in case you didn't change your mind about me." I gave him a piece of paper and he jokingly rolled his eyes.

-"See you soon." he smiled and awkwardly waved his hand holding my number. I entered my home and went straight to my beanbag to plop down in it. I wanted to hug something and the nearest thing was my school bag inside which my phone was vibrating. I took it out and the message read "I haven't changed it! :)" As a reaction, I just hugged my bag tighter.

~~~

Two weeks till end. Luna went hyper whenever I told her about Luhan and our texting we'd done a lot for the past four days. We haven't seen each other, though. His schedule was a mess and my studying wasn't giving me a lot of free time. What I found out about him when I asked how come he's coming home that early when I bump into him, was he liked jogging in the morning.

Today was Sunday and I slept in. I didn't go out last night since I was finishing my paper for Tuesday. Luna called me a nerd and later on even accused me of meeting Luhan. "Yeah, I wish..." Luckily, she was always reasonable and gave in at the end wishing me luck with the paper.

I woke up at 11am with my cat lying on my pillow beside my head. I petted the snuggly creature and took a shower. My hair was a mess but I was too lazy to do something with it so I just wiped it with a towel while watching TV from a sofa. A text saved me from spending hours and hours watching stupid shows. The text was from Luhan "Are you home? :)" When I told him I was, he sent another one "Come out!" I was in a T-shirt and sweatpants having a bad hair day but still decided to go out. Just outside my door, one flight of stairs up, Luhan was standing with a cute smile. "Come! I wanna show you my bedroom!" I found that funny but my face thought it would be even funnier if it just stared blankly at him. The poor boy lost his smile and felt embarrassed. "It's... not what it sounds like..." he made me giggle and I ran up the stairs to him.

-"But it sounded fun..." I joked and he blushed. I swear to God, that was beyond all the world's cuteness. He shyly took my hand in his and led me into his apartment.

-"It still lacks furniture... The first piece that arrived was the bedroom, which is why I invited you..." he was saying the truth. The living room had only a huge TV and a mattress in front of it. My romantic heart imagined watching a movie with him under a blanket, with hot chocolate in our hands, on a cold winter day... I smiled to myself and promised I'd make that happen if this lasts. When we entered his bedroom, you could tell the furniture had just arrived, judging by the smell of new and lack of decoration.

-"Wow! I like it!" I looked around the room, admiring it's huge window and the subtle wall paint. "The bed looks comfy..." I touched it and he sat on it confirming my statement. "It's awesome! The wardrobe seems to have a lot of room..." I stared at it, imagining how I would decorate the room if it was mine when I felt a touch on my fingers. I looked down and saw Luhan's hand in mine. He stood up and looked into my eyes having the most sincere smile possible. I brought his hand up, holding it in air between our bodies for a few seconds before placing it on my heart. I wanted him to know how he made me feel. He opened his mouth to say something while staring at his hand on my chest, but I took a step closer to him making him forget the words. I realized he was nervous but that made two of us. I don't know how and why but I smiled. He looked at me and a small smile appeared on his face. I pushed my head toward his and he backed away a bit. "Don't... Just relax..." I made sure I use my deep voice and blow some hot air on his cheek. He closed his eyes with his mouth slightly open and I saw him shiver. I heard his breathing become heavier with seconds passing by. All I wanted now was to feel his lips on mine so I did. I slowly put the pressure on his pink-ish tender lips. When I backed away, I my lower lip feeling his sweet taste. He opened his eyes and looked up at me so innocently that it only drew out a smile on my face. I put a hand on his shoulder and he brought his lips closer to mine. I kissed him again, this time making it longer. He was the one to part my lips and deepen the kiss.

Sitting down on the bed, we never broke the kiss. His hand from my heart moved to the back of my neck and mine was on his thigh. When he ended the kiss slightly panting, I stared at his neck wondering if this was too early. Sure, I regretted nothing but maybe he doesn't feel comfortable enough with this moving fast. I got my answer right away when he slid his hand down to my waist, looking at my hand. I wanted to ask him "Do you want it elsewhere?" but decided to avoid the . I didn't like it also but wanted to say it as a joke which I had no idea how he'd handle.

I tried finding his limit to make sure not to cross it and scare him. I pushed my hand up his thigh to his hip and felt his hot skin under my fingertips as they went under his shirt. He gasped and grabbed my wrist. "Too far?" I asked gently to what he just nodded. I smiled and kissed his cheek then lied on my back. He was still looking at me when I pulled him by his hand so he'd lose control and fall back beside me. "I like your room." I said to start a conversation.

-"Are we... together?" he seemed to have another one on his mind.

-"Yes. You cannot date anyone else. You're mine now. Hyung..." I took his small hand in mine.

Lying there on his bed on our backs, holding hands, looking at the ceiling and laughing as our conversation went on, I knew he had a special place in my life. But not in my heart. He didn't have a place there. It was whole his...

~~~THE END~~~ :D