This was for another competition from October that SerpentineSlytherin ran.

It was written in a rush and kind of a mashup of 2 fics I was planning. Cba to edit so leaving it here just so I have it somewhere lol

***

Siwon remembers clearly the first time he saw Kyuhyun. The younger boy was trying ever so hard not to cry as he gently prodded his grazed knee. Seeing that he was all alone Siwon decided he should help. Marching up, he remembers losing his train of thought completely when two large teary eyes accompanied by round rosy cheeks stared up at him. He internally promised to prevent this little cherub-boy from ever crying again.

“I’ll look after you.” The first words that Siwon spoke to the younger Kyuhyun.

“It’s bleeding,” Kyuhyun stated the obvious in a heartbroken tone.

“I have some plasters in my bag, do you like Star Wars?” Siwon whispered secretly as he cleaned the wound with a tissue – he knew that the stuff he learnt at Cubs would come in useful.

“You have Star Wars plasters?” Kyuhyun asked back awestruck.

“I’ll let you have a Yoda one, he’s my favourite.” Siwon carefully placed a plaster, impressed with himself even though it was wonky and blood still stained the skin. “You can call me hyung if you want.”

The other boy blushed and smiled widely, the threat of tears completely dissipated.

Siwon was 8 when he met the 6 year old Kyuhyun. He didn’t realise how much his life would untwine itself with the other boys when they met, he was just excited at the idea of being a hyung. He had a little sister, but being an Oppa wasn’t as interesting as being a Hyung, at least in his opinion. He wanted to protect and look after the boy and teach him stuff and play games with him. He had always wanted a younger brother and when he met Kyuhyun he decided, in his young mind that Kyuhyun was now his.

When Kyuhyun was 7 and ready to enter elementary school, Siwon begged both of their mothers to make sure that Kyuhyun attended the same school as him. He didn’t want some other person to become Kyuhyun’s hyung. That was his special job. He had introduced himself to Kyuhyun’s mother the day that he returned him with a plastered knee, cementing himself in her affections and wrapping her around his small fingers. He jumped around like a loon on the first day of the new school year. He impatiently waited at the gates for a glimpse of the slighter boy. On seeing him he ran up, hugging him tightly, with Kyuhyun pushing him away with a pout.

“Why are you pouting?”

“I don’t want to go to school.”

“But it’s fun.” Siwon tilted his head in confusion.

“I want play my games at home. I don’t like other kids. They’ll be mean.” Kyuhyun nibbled his lower lip showing his fear.

“I’m here.” Siwon jumped in to reassure the younger. “You have to tell me if anyone is mean to you.”

“You’ll be in a different class though.” Kyuhyun’s brow remained furrowed.

“We can see each other at lunch!” Siwon enthused. “I’ve been waiting for you to come to school live me!”

Kyuhyun could practically see the happiness radiating from his hyung and so decided he should be happy as well.

When Siwon was 10 he was allowed to start walking Kyuhyun home, rather than have Kyuhyun’s mother come and pick them both up. He took great pleasure in being given this great responsibility. He liked been treated like a grown up and looking after his dongsaeng. Kyuhyun seemed to regard everything Siwon did or proclaimed in wide eyed wonder. He silently watched as his hyung charmed everyone and everything. Siwon it seemed would grow into a handsome man, both their mothers saying that they can already picture him as a heartbreaker. Siwon stuck up his nose and said that he had no intention of breaking hearts. Kyuhyun had remained silent through the whole exchange.

They both were bright boys, often topping the class. Siwon applied for a middle school not far from their elementary school. He said he wanted to be near in case Kyuhyun needed him. Kyuhyun pointed out that there wasn’t anything that he might need that Siwon could assist with that he couldn’t assist with from a school slightly further away. Siwon rolled his eyes and decided that he would go to that school anyway.

Kyuhyun was teary eyed on the last day of the school year before Siwon moved to middle school.

“Are you going to cry?”

“Why would I cry?”

“You look like you’re going to cry. I think it’s sweet that you are going to cry for me.” Siwon teased the grumpy looking boy.

“I will never let myself cry because of you!” Kyuhyun promised, stamping his foot in indignation.

“Never?” Siwon teased lightly. “What if I die?”

“You are not allowed to die, hyung!” Kyuhyun launched himself at the elder, “Promise you will never leave.”

Returning the embrace of the tinier boy, Siwon whispered, “I’ll never leave you. I promise.”

Middle school was strange to Siwon after spending the last 4 years in the same building as Kyuhyun. He could hardly remember the 2 years he spent without Kyuhyun when he first started his schooling. Kyuhyun had become a permanent fixture in his life, both boys seeing each other every weekend, as well as Siwon walking Kyuhyun home, often spending time at each other’s houses to do homework together or play games.

He didn’t realise how much of himself he dedicated to Kyuhyun until he felt the loneliness of separation, even though they still met up on the way back from school every day with Siwon treating Kyuhyun to food from the street stalls that lined the road that marked the joining of their routes home from their respective schools.

He started to talk more with some of the other boys from his school. Hyukjae and Junsu were best friends who he sat with in lunch, joining them on the football field afterwards though he didn’t have the enthusiasm for the sport that the two of them did. He felt glad that he was able to befriend them, however the two of them were clearly closer to each other than they were to him. But it was still nice that they included him, they tried to invite him to join them at the football club or to come out with them after school, but he waved them everything, heading towards the junction where Kyuhyun and he had unofficially agreed to wait for each other every day.

Kyuhyun had taken up piano and singing lessons after school, meaning that Siwon would be the one to wait some days. It wasn’t too long because his school came out later than the elementary, he also didn’t mind because the days he wasn’t waiting were the days that Kyuhyun had to wait for him. While part of him loved the idea that Kyuhyun waited for him, giving him the reminder that Kyuhyun cared for him still even though they were in different schools, Siwon hated the idea of Kyuhyun getting cold, or bored, or bothered by anyone because of his loitering on the corner waiting for Siwon. Siwon turned the corner to see Kyuhyun perched on a wall, swinging his legs while reading a book.

“What are you reading?”

“We have the middle school test coming up,” Kyuhyun eyed the older from his seat.

“Are you going to come to my school?” Siwon hadn’t brought it up, not wanting to be depressed if Kyuhyun indicated a preference to a different school. However a small bubble of hope that Kyuhyun would chose to attend his school hadn’t left him. He had always assumed that Kyuhyun would, but with Kyuhyun remaining silent about the matter, doubt had entered his mind.

“Do you want me to?” Kyuhyun asked awkwardly. He was just about to enter his teens and he was starting to grow. His limbs were longer; less stubby than they were when Siwon was still in elementary with him.

“Of course!” Siwon beamed as Kyuhyun nodded.

“Then I’ll go to your school then.”

Kyuhyun had entered the top class straight away and became known as the boy with the perfect score. Siwon had never been prouder.

He was also proud when he could finally introduce Kyuhyun to Hyukjae and Junsu, both who grinned in unison, asking if he liked football. Neither seemed bothered when he said he didn’t like sports. Siwon invited Kyuhyun to have lunch with them, which he did, dragging along his new tiny friend Ryeowook. They had bonded over the fact that both disliked socialising with people, Ryeowook because he was shy, Kyuhyun because he had become increasingly cantankerous, also both were in choir. Siwon slowly noticed that Kyuhyun was naturally ornery with most people he came into contact with. What had been shyness, an intense dislike of touching and a hatred of new people when younger was turning Kyuhyun into someone who was intolerant of anyone who bothered him as he grew older. Siwon didn’t notice this until Hyukjae pointed out that Siwon’s supposedly ‘cute’ dongsaeng was actually bloody scary to most people.

Siwon rationalised that Kyuhyun was probably just being difficult because he was a teenager and that he would grow out of it. Hyukjae stared at him while pointing out to him that they were all teenagers and none of them were as terrifying as Kyuhyun was when he was having a bad day. However Siwon could never be convinced that Kyuhyun’s grumpy pout wasn’t adorable.

At the end of the year they once again had to be separated due to Siwon moving up to high school. He had passed the test and got into an exclusive school from which most of the intake went on to the top universities. Siwon knew that he would be entering his father’s business after university, he had always known that, just as he had always known he was expected to go to one of the top universities. Hyukjae had decided to go to the same school as him, Junsu was moving to Japan and the other boy had declared that he wouldn’t lose both of his friends in one go. Siwon had been surprised that Hyukjae was that attached to him and also that the other boy would be willing to go to a very demanding school. He was filled with warmth knowing that he was thought so highly of.

Kyuhyun was once again in a foul mood on the last week of school, snapping at everyone, including Siwon.

“You know we’ll still see each other.”

“What has that got to do with anything?”

“You don’t need to keep acting like a hedgehog.” Siwon paused when Kyuhyun started to glare at him. “Hedgehogs are cute though.”

“Did you just call me cute?” Kyuhyun’s face was blank, with Siwon unable to read it.

“You’re always cute to me.” Siwon confessed truthfully. There was nothing wrong with that in his opinion. Kyuhyun coloured but remained silent, not saying another word.

They started to drift when Siwon went to high school. Siwon was working harder; he had been voted class president and also was on the school council. He was one of the top in the class as well as the school, he had grown into the looks that his mother had joked about when he was younger, towering over others with a beautiful smile. He had been persuaded to join the football team by Hyukjae, giving in to the pleading eyes and the sad face. After all Hyukjae had lost his closest friend, though Junsu seemed to skype him pretty much every night.

Siwon was too busy to see Kyuhyun after school anymore and weekends started to be taken up by school activities. The younger boy would look at him strangely, whenever they saw each other, as if he was trying to get into his head. He started to notice Kyuhyun was growing, more so than he had before. Kyuhyun was getting taller; his limbs longer and while gangly, still seemed graceful in a way to Siwon. He noticed that the acne that had graced Kyuhyun’s face in his early teen years was clearing up, and that his chubbiness was melting away revealing a beauty.

Siwon felt uncomfortable for the first time with Kyuhyun, unable to place what exactly he was feeling and why he felt like that. He pushed it down, shutting it up and refusing to look at it. He prayed that it would pass and that he would be able to return to being the attentive and ever present hyung soon. Until then he would keep his distance and he refused to acknowledge the hurt look on Kyuhyun’s face every time he told him that he was too busy to attend one of his singing competitions. Sometimes though he would sneak into the back anyway, watching as Kyuhyun entranced the audience with his velvet voice. He would watch as Kyuhyun scanned the crowd but remained in the shadows, refusing to listen to that small voice in his head that told him he was being ridiculous.

Kyuhyun was smart, smarter than Siwon, and so it surprised quite a few people when he decided to go to a school that specialised in music. It seemed that both he and Ryeowook would be attending together, both having passed the audition that all applicants had to take. Siwon tried not to acknowledge the despair that Kyuhyun would be attending a school the other side of the city and that they would now see each other even less.

Hyukjae would ask him how Kyuhyun was, saying how he hadn’t seen him around. He would look at Siwon with knowing eyes when Siwon brushed questions off, a hint of pity behind the gummy smile.

It was 2am when he had the first phone call, Kyuhyun blathering on about how high school and Siwon could tell by the slight slur that alcohol had been involved.

“Where are you?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I’m going to come and get you.”

“Cos I shouldn’t be out this late? Or cos I’ve been drinking?” Anger was being flooded down the phone.

“You’re only 17! You shouldn’t be anywhere near alcohol.” Siwon scolded back.

“Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun. And this is the first time you’ve picked up one of my calls in forever.” Anger had changed to sadness.

“That’s not true. We talked last week.” Siwon said, though guilt flooded him.

“A week?!” Kyuhyun laughed unhappily. “We used to talk everyday. You used to tell me everything. What happened? Where did you go hyung?”

“I - ” He didn’t have a chance to reply before he heard the line drop. Guilt settled in his stomach like a lead weight.

“Hyung, will you come and pick me up?” The drinking had become something that Kyuhyun did often it seemed. He got phone calls, texts, angry messages. He wondered what had happened to that little cherub-boy who would do anything he told him to and would be happy with a Star Wars plaster or an ice lolly. Kyuhyun seemed angry at everyone and everything. Siwon would try and visit him, to meet up with him but Kyuhyun was avoiding him much like he had been avoiding Kyuhyun the previous year.

Siwon didn’t hesitate to get in the car to go get him. The car had been a gift from his parents, given the previous month when he had graduated high school and earned a place in a one of the most prestigious universities. Kyuhyun had appeared at the ceremony, smiling at Siwon’s parents and presenting Siwon with flowers and acting like the perfect dongsaeng, the perfect image that he projected whenever he needed to. He had avoided speaking with Siwon that day, slipping from his grasp whenever the elder had approached.

He pulled up to the pavement on which Kyuhyun was sitting, just outside of a park. He felt something shift when he sat down on the bench next to him, and Kyuhyun turned to him with wide scared eyes.

“We used to be so close. I would do anything for you, and I thought you would do anything for me. I was so scared that you would become bored and forget about me one day. Do you remember you once promised you would never leave me hyung?”

“When I left elementary.” Siwon laughed at the years old memory, yet he felt the serious undertone of Kyuhyun’s rambling. “You were nearly in tears.”

“I promised you I would never cry because of you… yet I broke that promise so many times hyung.”

Siwon closed his eyes, hoping that this wouldn’t happen. But there was nothing to stop this from happening.

“I love you hyung. I mean it, I really do love you.”

“You are 18… you aren’t old enough to be in love.” Siwon sighed deeply, refusing to meet the other boys eyes.

“Are you saying that you don’t feel anything? Because I won’t believe you.” Kyuhyun exclaimed loudly.

“If, let’s say if, you were in love with me. Who’s to say it will last? Young love disappears as quickly as it appears.”

“But this didn’t appear overnight and it hasn’t gone away!” Kyuhyun grabbed the older boys face, turning it towards him. “I think I’ve always felt this way. I wanted you all to myself ever since we were children. I wanted you to be mine and I wanted to be yours. Every time some girl confessed I wanted to hit them. Every time you ignored me or avoided me I felt like I was being slapped.”

“I am scared that one day you will realise that while you love me, you aren’t in love with me. That you were just confused.” Siwon looked at Kyuhyun’s teary face and suddenly wondered why exactly he was fighting this so much. He didn’t want to hurt the other boy but he seemed to be doing exactly that.

Kyuhyun grinned, “Does that mean you do love me hyung?”

“I love you Kyu,” Siwon whispered, the pressure that had been building up in his chest suddenly released.

“You promise?”

“Promise.”