Minseok's POV
 

I opened my eyes and sat up. Disgusting. Fat. Gross. The words kept repeating in my head. Ugly. Obese. “Shut up! Shut up!” I screamed, kicking my blanket and thrashing around on the bed. “Stop it...” I cried. Huge tears rolled off my chin, dropping onto the sheets, staining them with a dark blue. I cupped my ears with my hands and the tears continued flowing from my eyes like a broken faucet. Disgusting. It was all I could hear. I screamed out loud in frustration before the door slammed open and worried voices were heard. “Hyung! Minseok hyung!” I could feel someone's cold fingers wrap around my arm and I shook harder and whimpers left my lips involuntarily. The hands were immediately loosened. Another pair of arms held my shoulders firm and I squeezed my eyes tighter than what it already was. “Calm down. Minseok, calm down. You can do it, calm down. Breathe.” I heard him whisper soothingly in my ear. I loosened the grip on my ears ever so slightly and tried to take in as much air as possible, him guiding the way. I opened my eyes slowly and lowered my arms onto my lap. I stared blankly at the wall right in front of me and after taking a long breath, I lowered my head. “Minseok, would you tell us what happened?” No. They can't know. I didn't respond and continued staring at the plain blue sheets. “Minseok, please.” I shut my eyes and fell back onto the bed, wrapping my arms around my curled up legs so that it resembled a fetus position. I turned to face the plain white walls, my back facing them.

I hated it whenever he begged me, whenever he said please, whenever he used that soft voice of his. I hated it so much because I always gave in to whatever he asked for. I thought it was the only thing I could pay him back with after he gave me all he could. No, I couldn't crumble. I couldn't tell him what happened. I couldn't let a word slip out all because he will tell me to forget about the whole incident and to forget about what she said but I knew that I wouldn't be able to, no matter how much he tries to coax me. I wouldn't be able to because the words had gotten to me fully. I wouldn't be able to because the words were carved, implanted in my mind and I wouldn't be able to erase it, not even with the help of Luhan.

I heard his trembling sigh that escaped his lips and I felt guilt swirl in my chest. I'm sorry Luhan, too sorry that I can't tell you anything because I'll just be dragging you in my problems and I know you've had enough. “Minseok, please, just say something.” He continued pleading. I wanted to swing my arms around his neck and cry my heart out like how I used to when we were young but I stopped myself. I stopped the painful itch that I felt throughout my arms. Keeping my silence, I reached out for a pillow or some sort and threw it behind, hoping for it to hit the door or to show them my displeasure about Luhan's begs but no, Luhan just continued, even more this time. Couldn't he just get it that I didn't want to be disturbed? Without any hesitation, I shouted from behind the blue blankets. “Just get out! Get out, please. Please just go away.” My voice trembled at the end and tears just started flowing again. I just shouted at my best friend, my best friend since young. I just shouted at him and before I could open my mouth to apologize, he scoffed and left the room but I heard his soft string of words, “I'm just trying to help. What happened to my Minseok?” He muttered on the way out. I felt ten times -no more than that- worse