Title: Life Together~
Author: asianrocker721
Genre: Cute, Happy, Funny, Fluff
Characters: Park _____ (you), ZE:A
Status: Progress
Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/69604

Brief Description/Plot:
Adorable and dorky as she is ___,life was too perfect til she move out of her parents house and into her own apartment but what wil happend if ZE:A and ___ paths cross as they will learn how to love and trust eachother

Reviewer: Min Kyung (MinYoon2011)

Title: 10/10
I'm still curious about, what will happen in ths story, that's why I will let it. ^^
Besides, I finally found out why you choose that title xD

Description/Plot: 10/20
The plot generally is attracting me 50%. Why? I want to know a little bit more. Everyone could write a plot like this. Add some or one preview(s) or teaser(s).

Originality: 7/10
I read many kind of those stories. But I don't want to make you feel down because it's still on progress. ^^
Maybe something surprising will happen ;)

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary: 15/30
WATCH OUT WITH THE TENSES, PROGRESSIVE & BASIC FORM AND SPELLING!
You already made a lot of mistakes, also in the description!
Please hire a BETA-reader if you don't have one.
I'm not abusing you. I know that English isn't a really easy language, but too many obvious mistakes are also not good.

anouther is not a word / It's another
hear is not the same as her / It's another word for listen

Punctuation/Writing Style: 11/20
Please watch also out with the punctuation T.T

I was drawing and was it quiet till....My Little brother came in bust through the door ,it went a little something like this!: "NOONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Yelled the annoying brat name Shinwoo,"WHAT THE FREAK DO YOU WANT!!!!" "nothing!"Smiled happly said Shinwoo,GRRRR THAT BASTARD LITTLE BOY!!! [...]

It would be correctly:
I was drawing and it was quiet until...my little brother burst through the door. It went a little litke this:
"NOONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled the annoying brat named Shinwoo. "WHAT THE FREAK DO YOU WANT?!" "Nothing." he said and smiled happily. GRRRR THAT BASTARD!!! [...]

...my little brother...                        --> it still belongs to the sentence.
...the door ,it went a little this: ...   --> "It went a little like this:" is an own sentence.
...yelled the annoying...                     --> don't write in capital letters when you write who told it.
..."Nothing."...                                   --> he didn't yell right? 
...he said and smiled happily...          --> he said it first then smiled. But you can also write tha he just smiled instead of  "he said and smiled". Btw, it's also an own sentence.

From my opinion...you're writing a little bit too big in some parts...
But it's still your choice, so...yeah...

Characters: 5/10

Write more about _____. Everyone knows that she's 18 in the story (or over). Adorable and cute can be every girl, also if they are your enemies. Characteristic doesn't mean, to describe a person with just one word (Okay, maybe in love quotes...). A person has more personalities. But hey! At least, you wrote something about ___. that's why I'm also giving you 5 points ^^

Extra++: 2/5

-     Nice poster (+2)

Total: 58/100 (+2)

General Comments: I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT GIVING YOU MORE POINTS! TT^TT

____________________

Thank you 

 MinYoon2011

I know my grade :)

But you know what? 

It going to make me even better !! :)

Changes will be made

later :)