He’s glad that his parents made him take Japanese in high school.

          Because he’s sure, he’s pretty sure, that no matter how kind Yoon-Sajangnim is, he probably wouldn’t have let Hyunseung so easily transfer to the Japanese branch of the company on such short notice if he wasn’t sure that Hyunseung wouldn’t be able to pull his weight there.

          Hyunseung defended himself by saying that he isn’t an easy person to take down.

          Yoon-Sajangnim smiles and says that he’s more worried about the Japanese employees than Hyunseung, anyway.

From: Sideburns

To: Jang Hyunseung

Sent: 12:32

Hyunseung-ah, this isn’t funny. I’m serious. Where the r u? I’m not kidding around. Appa won’t tell me where u r. Did u tell him not 2? I’m ing serious. Tell me where the u r right now. I don’t care about Junhyung or how he’s ed u over 10,000 times I just want 2 kno where the u r, Hyunseung-ah. I won’t tell him if u don’t want me 2. Just, Hyunseung-ah. Please.

          His parents and Geurim don’t ask much when he drops by for dinner the night before his plane takes off. He’s told them a week in advance, and they didn’t ask much then either. They know in his line of work, there’s not much that can be done or changed or interfered with when it comes to moving around, and it’s not like he’s moving to the other side of the world. He’s moving, in business terms, basically next door and they know with the amounts of money he makes, he can visit as often as he likes.

          They don’t say much, but when his mother goes off to wash the dishes and his father goes off to get Hyunseung some books that he wants his son to read because they’re about business and relatively interesting and reading is always good for the mind, while his parents are busy, Geurim goes outside and sits with him on the deck. Hyunseung watches the clouds cover and uncover the few stars that can be seen in the sky and his sister leans her head onto his shoulder.

          “You and him fought, didn’t you?” she says lightly.

          He glances down at her and gives a sad smile. “I wouldn’t call it a fight, exactly.”

          She raises her eyebrows at him, picking her head up off his shoulder. “Then what would you call it?”

          “Mm,” he puts his arm around her, “An impasse?”

          His sister laughs. “Oh, we’re getting fancy now, huh?”

          Hyunseung feels his smile widen a little, losing some of its sadness and feeling more like it belongs on his face. “Yah, when did you start getting so annoying?” he tugs at a lock of her hair. “Keep it up and no guy’s ever going to want you.”

          She snorts and pushes him with her elbow. “What about you? You’re annoying as and they all want you, oppa.”

          “It’s because I’m hot,” he says with a straight face. She pushes him again.

          Geurim worms her thin arms around his and puts her cheek back against his shoulder as they continue to watch the clouds move oddly fast through the sky. Hyunseung wonders if maybe it’s supposed to rain soon tonight or tomorrow. “Do you still love him?” she asks quietly.

          He thinks about how, tomorrow night, he’s going to be looking at this same sky from Tokyo. “Of course,” he whispers, his own cheek against the crown of her head. Hyunseung closes his eyes.

From: Hyuna

To: Jang Hyunseung

Sent: 18:57

Oppa, at least tell us where u r. We just want 2 kno. Rly, rly, we promise. If u don’t want us 2 tell him, we won’t. he hasn’t asked anyway. He hasn’t asked about where u r, so it’s ok. But he wants 2 kno. U kno how much he loves u. I kno he’s stupid about it, but please, please just tell us. We’re rly worried, oppa. Doojoonie-oppa is going crazy trying 2 find u. he hasn’t slept and Dongwoonie-oppa keeps leaving the office early and going 2 that weird club. Oppa, please just tell us. I’m scared Junhyungie-oppa’s going 2 do something.

          Yoon-Sajangnim tells Hyunseung to take a week off when he gets to Japan—a week to get used to his new apartment, to move everything in (even though he kept his own apartment in Korea, too, only taking enough clothes and belongings to last him for the season the same way a university student would), to get into rhythm with his new neighborhood and surroundings, to get used to the new country.

          All in all, it only ends up taking Hyunseung a few days at the most. It only takes him a few days, so he uses the rest of the days to stroll into the Japanese office building to meet the people he’s going to be working with—to meet the employees and get a feel for his new colleagues. He meets them, talks with them, introduces himself, gets good-naturedly laughed at for some of his accented Japanese, causes a few of his co-workers-to-be to choke on their lunch, and calls it a day when he thinks that his new secretary might turn puce in the face.

          He stares at the screen of his phone as he walks back to his apartment. Always—there are always new messages. He always has new messages, long distance messages and missed calls.

From: Seob-ah

To: Jang Hyunseung

Sent: 9:13

Hyung, I’m begging u. Please, please tell us where u r. Doojoonie-hyung and I left 4 LA and we had to leave him with Dongwoonie and Hyuna. They can’t take care of him alone and they’re afraid he’s gonna disappear. Please just tell us where u r. it’s scaring all of us, hyung. Hyung, we’re begging u.

Hyung, the ahjusshi hasn’t gotten any sleep since we got 2 America. I don’t kno what 2 do. He keeps trying 2 call u. why won’t u pick up, hyung?

          Hyunseung knows he’s worrying them all to death. He knows that they care, that they love him, that they want to know where he is because they want to know if he’s okay. He knows that Doojoon probably wants to know if Hyunseung is okay with Japanese food, knows that Hyuna probably wants to know if Hyunseung’s brought his own rice cooker to the new apartment or gotten a new one, knows that Yoseob probably wants to make sure Hyunseung is getting around the city all right, knows that Dongwoon probably wants to make sure Hyunseung isn’t accidentally killing off his new co-workers by the day.

          He collapses spread-eagle on his bed, holding his phone up toward the ceiling and deletes a few more texts that came in this morning from Hyuna and Doojoon.

From: Maknae

To: Jang Hyunseung

Sent: 10:02

We miss u. Come back, hyung.

          Hyunseung misses them, too.

          He wants to reply.

          He wants to tell Doojoon that he loves Japanese food so far, as long as they don’t start bringing him the ovaries of a fish. He wants to tell Hyuna that Geurim already made him bring a brand new rice cooker to his new apartment because his old one in Korea has started to produce green rice and Hyunseung isn’t sure where the green part is coming from. He wants to tell Yoseob that while he hasn’t taken any taxis in Tokyo, he’s getting around by foot, by car, and by subway station just fine. He wants to tell Dongwoon that even if he has made a few of his colleagues choke during a recent dinner party, the Heimlich maneuver is a great ice-breaker regardless of language barriers.

          He wants to reply to them. He wants to tell them where he is.

          But he can’t.

          Not yet.

From: Sideburns

To: Jang Hyunseung

Sent: 7:09

Yah, u bastard. I’m losing sleep cuz of u. U could at least reply even if u don’t want us to find u. If it weren’t 4 Appa, u could be getting mauled 2 death by a ing purple dinosaur 4 all we kno, u kno that?

…..and don’t just eat junk food. Ur already missing enough brain cells. Eat some ing carrots or something.

          “Yah,” Junhyung smacks Hyunseung on the chest. “Yah, get off of me.” He starts to shake his hips left and right in an attempt to shake Hyunseung off of his body. They’re outside on the rooftop of the office building, their suit jackets and ties lying on the cement floor. It’s a day where everyone already left for home early because of a huge deal that has just been signed and Yoon-Sajangnim sent a message for everyone to get an early leave.

          Hyunseung raises his eyebrows and continues to straddle the other man, sitting on Junhyung’s stomach. “Why?” he leans back against Junhyung’s raised knees. “Heavy?” He bounces a few times just because, and Junhyung makes a choked sound in the back of his throat.

          “You should be heavy,” Junhyung says, reaching up and poking Hyunseung’s forehead back with his knuckles. “But your ing stupid metabolism keeps burning everything away.” Hyunseung grins, as Junhyung’s hands move to the older man’s sides, holding him firmly. “It’s ing unfair.”

          He just sticks his tongue out at the younger man and keeps on grinning. And then he points up at the sky playfully. “Y’know, yesterday, Dongwoonie told me that it’d make a lot more sense if I lived somewhere up there.”

          Junhyung wrinkles his nose, amused. “It would. You’re weird as .”

          Hyunseung slaps the younger man’s cheeks lightly with both palms. “I wouldn’t mind,” Hyunseung says, shrugging and smiling, tipping his head back and staring at the black sky—no stars because of how they’re in the thicket of skyscrapers and city lights. There aren’t any stars, no clouds, no moon, but it’s still smooth and endless—limitless because of the perfect darkness, smooth and flawless. “Don’t you want to sometimes?” he looks back down at Junhyung.

          The younger man is watching Hyunseung with intent eyes that look a little too moist for some reason, illuminated by all of the lights of Seoul’s nightlife. “Just sometimes,” Junhyung says, reaching up again and this time holding Hyunseung’s face. “But for the most part, there’re better things down here.”

From: Hyuna

To: Jang Hyunseung

Sent: 15:33

Fine >:[ Be that way, oppa. Don’t tell me where u r. I’ll just cry a lot, k? TT.TT Ur making a girl cry and ur not even straight. I hope ur happy. And u kno what? If u didn’t listen 2 me and buy a new rice cooker like I said and ur old one explodes on u, then it serves u right.

But make sure u buy one that makes a sound when the rice is done, oppa. Cuz Junhyungie-oppa always says that you always forget u even made rice and it ends up going bad. Some of them play songs. Buy a good one, k, oppa? <333

          “Hyunseung-san.”

          He looks up from his phone and meets eyes with his secretary as she stands there in the middle of his office, papers in hand. “Oh—sorry, yeah—just leave them here.” He waves vaguely at one of the few empty spaces on his filled-up desk. She places the stack of freshly printed documents on a corner of his table and watches, curiously, as he puts his phone to the side.

          “You get a lot of messages,” she says lightly. “Girlfriend?”

          Hyunseung blinks at the word—new Japanese vocabulary that he supposes he’s about to learn. “Excuse me?”

          She bites her lip, thinking. “Um—a girl,” she says slowly, “a—a person who you love. Do you have one? Because of all your messages—back in Korea?”

          Oh.

          Oh.

          He smiles up at her, taking the first packet of papers on the very top of the pile and moves away his binder so he can get to work. “No,” he says softly, fingertips lightly dusting over the screen of his cell phone. “Just friends—my friends back in Korea.”

From: Seob-ah

To: Jang Hyunseung

Sent: 11:16

Ahjusshi’s sleeping better. Probably cuz his dad told us that ur doing ok, wherever the u r. U kno, when ahjusshi doesn’t get enough sleep, starts 2 . I hope ur happy, hyung. My life is suffering cuz of u. and he keeps using me as a body pillow 2 fall asleep. So now and I have 2 fear 4 my life every time we go 2 sleep 2. Thnx a lot, hyung.

And wherever u r, don’t take taxis, k? U never remember the address of anything and I don’t want u getting kidnapped. So just take subways or drive, ok? And if u walk, plz, plz look where ur going. Seriously.

          Hyunseung wonders if it’s too much on his part to wish that, even though he already expected this, maybe, just maybe, Junhyung would send a text.

          It’s impossible, he knows. Junhyung wouldn’t do that, and Junhyung shouldn’t do that. Hyunseung left him, broke a promise even when he’d insisted he wouldn’t time and time again, didn’t say a word, is giving everyone hell and everyone, in turn, is probably giving Junhyung hell.

          There’s too much to say through just a text anyway.

          Even if they had an entire book to write, Hyunseung still wouldn’t know what to say—wouldn’t have enough pages to explain, to apologize, to make useless excuses that fall flat to any ear.

          The excuses would fall flat because, in all honesty, even Hyunseung isn’t sure why he left. There are thousands, millions, of ways he could’ve ended it with Junhyung when the pain hit him as fiercely as it did that night in the office when he caught Junhyung and Dongwoon arguing. He didn’t have to leave—didn’t have to get transferred, didn’t have to move or leave the country. He didn’t have to hide from the others. He could’ve just broken up with Junhyung, could’ve just forced himself to get over the pain of seeing Junhyung every day, could’ve dealt with it normally.

          He isn’t quite sure why he ran away.

          He still doesn’t quite know, isn’t quite certain, but as he stands outside against the railing of the balcony, watching cars whizz by blow, breathing in Tokyo air and staring up at the same night sky he’s looked up at countless times before from Seoul, Hyunseung thinks that even though he doesn’t know the reasons behind the choice—

          He thinks that he made a good one.

From: Maknae

To: Jang Hyunseung

Sent: 8:01

(Attachment)

I think he must’ve done it a few days ago, but the reporters found out last night. None of us knew, hyung. I don’t even think Doojoon-hyung and Yoseob-hyung kno yet.

          The attachment is a link to an internet article, dated just past midnight of the night before. Hyunseung presses his fingertip over the link and waits as the window with Dongwoon’s message is pushed to the side while the internet on his phone loads up and opens.

          His eyes scan the headline because that’s all he needs to read—he doesn’t need the details.

To: Maknae; Hyuna; Sideburns; Seob-ah

From: Jang Hyunseung

Sent: 10:25

I’m in Tokyo