“So that kiss in the parking lot… to tell him off…” Ha Ni declared slowly. 

Seung Jo nodded.

“Obviously, that did not warn him enough… so I told him to back off. What I told him outside the club should be clear enough to------“

WHACK!!!!!!

Ha Ni smacked him hard with a magazine.

 “Yah! What was that for?”

And Baek Seung Jo faced a very livid Oh Ha Ni, with tears already pooled in the corners of her eyes.

 

********************

 

Chapter 21. Baek Seung Jo’s first love

 

“You arrogant jerk! You stole my first kiss just to tell him off! What kind of insensitive pig are you? Bad bad jerk!” Ha Ni cried as she continued attacking him with the magazine and her fist. “Why did I ever agree to get engaged to you?! I don’t deserve any of these! You bad jerk! You will pay for it!”

 

She struck his head continuously and spurted all profanities against him.

 

“I did not think you were capable of such a thing. It was my first kiss and you spent it in the most inexcusable way! My first kiss! If it meant nothing to you, it was important to me! I am not a plaything you can make fun of whenever you want, and show off when you feel like it.  A playboy like you will never understand it, but I will not be treated like those million girls you’ve had!”

 

WHACK!

 

“You heartless skunk!”

 

WHACK!

 

The tears that were threatening to fall earlier started rolling down her face. The sight of her tear-streaked face caused Seung Jo to panic slightly.

 

He grabbed her hands to stop her from hitting him and to calm her at the same time.

 

But Ha Ni did not want to be calmed.

 

Seung Jo was left with no choice, so he just wrapped his arms around her and prevented from moving.

 

“And I don’t care whatever reason you hate Jin Woo so much, but keep me out of it!” Ha Ni uttered in between her sobs.

 

She continued squirming, struggling to break free from him embrace.

 

 Seung Jo tightened his arms around her.  Not letting go until Ha Ni exhausted all her energy.

 

When he felt that Ha Ni already quieted down a bit, he loosened his grip, but still not setting her free completely.

 

He her hair once and murmured, in a small voice, “I’m sorry…”

 

Her outburst at his casual confession about the parking lot kiss was something foreign to him. He never thought she would react that way. For the longest time, not one of the girls he had kissed ever complained, for whatever reason it may have been. Except Oh Ha Ni.

 

He was not as bad as she judged him to be, but he was at a loss for words. It was all he could do amidst her outburst, to whisper a very short but sincere apology.

 

Ha Ni finally broke free from his hold and looked him straight in the eye.

 

For the first time, they stared at each other solidly. They seemed to be gauging each other.

 

It was Ha Ni who first broke eye contact when she felt several of those butterflies fluttering inside her again involuntarily.

 

Aish!

 

Seung Jo joked a bit to lighten the heavy mood. “I honestly did not expect that. I was probably too used to casual intimacies in the past…”

 

Ha Ni just glared at him for that.

 

Seung Jo spoke in a serious tone again. “I know that you don’t like me and we are not really on very friendly terms… but I am truly sorry if I offended you.”

 

Ha Ni did not answer.

 

“You’re right. Whatever it was that happened between Park Jin Woo and me, you should be kept out of it… but you are part of it now.”

 

Ha Ni blinked, totally not understanding his meaning. “What do you mean?”

 

“Do you know the feeling of being in love, Oh Ha Ni?”

 

Ha Ni shook her head immediately.

 

Seung Jo nodded, expecting her answer.

 

“Everything happened in high school… I had been so in love with a girl.”

 

Ha Ni gave him a look of surprise.

 

Seung Jo chuckled and answered her mental question. “Yes, I am capable of loving a girl. I’m not as stone-hearted as you think.”

 

The smallest hint of smile played on Ha Ni’s lips.

 

“She’s the prettiest in our year. She’s smart and strong-willed. She’s also very kind. Everyone respected her. And she also happened to be the closest girl to me. Jiyeon. I fell for her, naturally. It was not easy, though. All the boys liked her and sought her. In the end, it was our friendship that gave me the advantage. I already knew back then that I was destined for an arranged marriage, and I was ready to fight for her in front of my father.”

 

Seung Jo sighed.

.

.

.

“She became my first girlfriend, my first true love.”

 

Ha Ni felt a sudden shot of inexplicable ache in her chest, but she kept a straight face.

 

“And Park Jin Woo had been my best friend for many years. His family moved to the US when we finished primary school. We remained in contact despite the distance. He was even the first one I told about her. In our senior year, Jin Woo came back from the US. They sent him back to prepare him for taking over their company. And he fell for her.”

 

“Oh…” Ha Ni gasped.

 

Seung Jo smiled bitterly at the memory.

 

“He honestly tried to control his feelings. I give him credit for that. He was my best friend and he knew she’s my girl. The problem came when she began liking him, too.”

 

Ha Ni gave another gasp. Too inexperienced in matters of the heart, she did not expect the turn of events.

 

So those things happen in real life?

 

“I’m sure you know enough of Jin Woo to tell how it is not impossible for any girl to like him.”

 

‘He’s too likeable.’ Ha Ni agreed mentally.

 

“He’s a very easy to get along with. Jin Woo’s very kind and accommodating generally, and even more so to people he likes very much. She did not tell me her feeling at once, I just noticed it.”

 

“Did she see him behind your back?” Ha Ni asked.

 

“I knew she did not cheat on me when we were together, she was just too upright for that. But she changed. I saw how she reacted towards him. She became miserable, I felt it. It went on until I could not stand it anymore.”

 

Ha Ni was teary-eyed again. She never imagined herself to be so affected.

 

“I asked her. She told me the truth. I already knew it, but when she finally confessed, I was still blown away. I did not know how to deal with it. It was painful.”

 

Ha Ni sniffed.

 

“It is painful when your first great love comes crashing down.”

 

“I’m sorry…” Ha Ni said. She honestly felt that it was his first time to talk about this chapter of his life with anyone.

 

It must have been really painful for him... for a guy to talk about it like this...

 

“I took it all out against Jin Woo. I hit him straight in the face when I saw him. But in the end, I gave up. I knew they mutually liked each other. There’s no use fighting against that.”

 

Ha Ni remembered a cliché. If you truly love someone, you’ll let the person go.

 

“Did they…?” She did not know how to phrase her question.

 

Seung Jo answered knowingly. “They are both honourable people. Despite her feelings, she still left. She left us both. She was too guilty to have caused discord between best friends. It would have been adding insult to injury if she hooked up with him for real after we broke up…”

 

“Then Jin Woo also left for an exchange student program in the US…” Ha Ni guessed.

 

“Yes.”

 

“And you still hate him.”

 

“I don’t hate him. Not anymore. I just still hate the fact that she left me. Because of him. Park Jin Woo would always remind me of her and the past. He knows it.”

.

.

.

“She’s the perfect girl. She will always be my perfect girl,” he declared sadly. (A/N: T__T)

 

Another pang of pain shot through Ha Ni. It confused her. It was not just her feeling of empathy for Seung Jo’s hurt. Strangely, it was her own pain that she felt upon hearing his words.

 

“So you can imagine my outrage when Jin Woo started getting close to you. It’s like it is happening all over again.”

 

Ha Ni blinked, and a tiny ray of hope welled up inside her.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“He likes you. You don’t expect me to just let it all happen like in the past, right? We might not be in love with each other, but I will not let him take you away from me, too. You are going to marry me as planned.”

 

Ha Ni’s mysterious ray of hope was extinguished all of a sudden.

 

“And you don’t want me to fall for him, just like she did.”

 

Seung Jo nodded. “And now that he knows our situation, I trust he will not do anything stupid.”

 

“You could have told me all these earlier and saved us all the trouble.”

 

Seung Jo snorted. “Do you really expect me to say it easily? ‘Yah, Oh Ha Ni, don’t ever go liking Park Jin Woo just like my ex-girlfriend’ Just like that?”

 

“Of course not… But really, if we just started this all properly… if you just told me everything honestly from the beginning, I would have understood. We could have even skipped all the conflicts we’ve had.”

 

“You mean you would have avoided him if I told you?”

 

“Heck, no! But I would have understood you better. I really thought you were just a tyrant jerk who wanted to show who’s in control before we even get married.”

 

“I am not that bad… I am not a ‘pig’… not a ‘heartless skunk’ ”

 

“Maybe I misjudged you.”

 

He laughed, this time for real. “In some ways, you did misjudge me. So are we on cease-fire now?”

 

“Yes. And you don’t have to worry about me. I know my place, Baek Seung Jo.”

 

He slightly raised a brow and asked, “Which is…?”

 

“I, Oh Ha Ni, have agreed to marry you when the time is right. And I will not do anything stupid. For my family, and for yours.”

 

Seung Jo smiled. “And I, Baek Seung Jo, promise to do my best to follow our rules and keep my family’s end of the bargain.”

 

She then extended her arm for a handshake. “So do we have a deal?”

 

He took her hand and held it firmly. “Do you also promise not to get drunk anymore?”

 

Ha Ni pouted.

 

“Or at least just don’t drink heavily when I’m not around…”

 

She rolled her eyes at him and laughed. “I don’t really like alcohol, so YES.”

 

“Okay, then we have a deal.” With that he shook her hand.

 

********************

 

When they arrived home later, everyone has already retired to their rooms.

 

Seung Jo behaved agreeably throughout the whole night. He even walked with her to the front of her bedroom. Before Ha Ni could enter the room, he touched her shoulder.

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“Oh Ha Ni… I…” His first time to stutter.

 

“What is it?” she asked curiously.

 

“I… again... I am truly sorry… for your first kiss.”

 

She looked him in the eye and answered, “I am not mad anymore.”

 

Without warning, she tiptoed and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

 

“Good night, Baek Seung Jo.” With that, she disappeared into her room.

 

Seung Jo was left standing out there. His heart suddenly drumming against his chest.

 

His hand reached up to the spot where Ha Ni’s lips touched him.

 

He grinned.

 

Unknown to him, Eun Jo was standing several feet away.

 

********************

 

Inside her room, a very red-faced Ha Ni was standing with her back against the door.

 

She touched her flushing cheeks, quite unable to believe what she just did.

 

Did I just kiss him?

 

She ran to her bed and buried her face into the comforter.

 

Since when did I become so bold?

 

And the butterflies came dancing again.

 

Yah, Oh Ha Ni! What’s with you these days?

 

Then she remembered something. She did not understand why she was doubly disappointed when he told her why he kissed her in front of Jin Woo. Sure, she got mad. His reason was not valid. But aside from that, there was something else.

 

Am I actually disappointed that he kissed me for ONLY that reason? I could not have been expecting something more, could I?

 

Whether she admitted it to herself or not, the butterflies knew the answer. It had started long ago, but she did not know it yet.

 

Her thoughts travelled to Seung Jo’s love story.

 

Maybe that’s how he became what he is right now. He only flings with all the girls and not take them seriously… not just because he knew he would have to marry another girl arranged for him… but maybe because he does not want to risk getting hurt again. He must have really loved the girl to let her go. She’s so lucky to be loved truly. So lucky to have a choice of whom to love. I wish I were as fortunate as her. But I no longer have that freedom to love and be loved like normal people do. I have already as good as signed my fate to this.

 

Ha Ni yawned and her eyelids were already getting heavy.

 

Her last thoughts in that moment between consciousness and sleep belonged to her subconscious mind already, something she would not remember in her waking hours.

 

He said she is his perfect girl. Always. There’s no way to compete with the perfect girl.  (A/N: T___T)

 

ZZZZZzzzzz.

 

********************

 

A/N:  A gift for the month! A second update. :) I did this in one sitting, truly a feat for me.

Did you notice the butterflies that turn up occasionally from the previous chapters?  They are now the personification of something inside Ha Ni. Her feelings, maybe? Also, what do psych majors say about our subconscious thoughts? You be the judge. Thankyu for reading. :)

BTW, in case you notice any loophole (I might have written something from earlier chaps that do not conform to the recent updates), feel free to PM me so I can correct them. Thankyu again. :)